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Damnit, why did Sakura ever agree to this? He looks like a total idiot, shaking in blue and green roller skates. Hands grip to the safety rail outside of the ring. Everyone is probably staring at his uncertain legs and tense face. He should leave. Tell Togame something came up and run off before he humiliates himself. Where did they leave their bags? He can put sneakers on pretty quick.
Too late. Togame glides to Sakura, breaking with expertise before stepping into the danger zone. How can he be so casual on these things? Not to mention, Togame is using in-lines! That’s like standing on two tight ropes without a flinch. Maybe he should train to better his balance. That would strengthen his legs and further his fighting prowess.
Wheels touch the smooth floor. They shoot his leg forward, so Sakura yanks it back. His hands, and torso, never leave the comfort of the half wall. This is fine, right? He can just scoot around and avoid collisions. Togame can still have fun without Sakura dragging him down.
Open hands present themselves to the teen. Sakura takes a gander before raising his eyes to their taller owner. Is he…?
“Hold onto my hands for balance.” While Togame would avoid calling himself an expert, he knows enough to give a proper lesson. He can skate backwards, so he can watch over Sakura in case he falls. Not only that, he can look at the teen’s determined face. Furrowed brows, a jutted lip, and the cutest blush ever.
Togame shoves that thought into a furnace and hits broil. He could never say those words aloud. As much as Togame wants to cup that unique face and compliment him for hours, their friendship is more important. If he confessed, it would ruin all that they have built. Giving up that connection would be like cutting out his liver.
“U-Uh…” Hand holding? No way! That’s too…ugh, it makes Sakura want to hide his face and run away. No one ever held his hands before. At most, he had a few wrist yanks or a grip to his bicep while being dragged off somewhere. Usually back to his foster home or around the orphanage because he was too upset to move willingly.
The clockwork blush that pops onto Sakura’s face forces realization to dawn upon Togame. How could he forget? The mere thought of touch sends the younger into a tizzy.
“Oh, right. Sleeves are okay too.” Hands slip backwards, tucking away in fabric confines. Even if they never directly touch hands, just the proximity is enough. He can live with that. One step behind, a centimeter away. It makes for an easy life, living in the sidelines of the boy he fell madly in love with.
Still…what would it be like to hold Sakura’s hand? Are they dry and stumpy? Calloused and thin? He knows all too well how it feels to take a punch from the other teen, but those fists are closed tight. Togame wants to trace upward from the wrist and work himself beneath clenched fingers.
They might be nervous at first. Sakura might even try to pull away and stutter out a whine regarding how embarrassing it is to feel someone else’s hand on his. Yet even then, they would resume, and Togame would slot his fingers in the spaces between Sakura’s.
What a magical feeling it must be to close a gap as intimate as that. Lost in his sea of yearning, a beacon emerges from the fog. Hands are gripped in a way that is almost too gentle to be from the guy who pummels grown men. Togame focuses his eyes on the nervous clasp between them.
“It’s-It’s fine! Hurry up with the lessons…” Sakura has his face turned away, but his blush has reached ear tips, so Togame knows exactly how the younger feels. This is a historic moment for him, right? Not only allowing both hands to be held, but to take them himself?
Togame smiles. He can keep those thoughts to himself. It would spoil everything if he spoke up now. These rough hands are too precious to let go of.
“Hang tight, Sakura.” Together, they enter a whirlwind of skaters. Masters zip by and flaunt a trick at every turn. Beginners stumble and wobble, slamming into walls after only a few seconds of unassisted movement. The lights above change from green to blue, and in that shift, they make their first turn.
Mixed eyes dart like a wild animal cornered by hunters. Are they going to crash? Is Togame angry that he has to babysit his friend? Are those girls laughing at him or at a joke no one heard? His entire body is stiff, bracing for some unseen but impending impact.
Sakura trips, but he recovers. Stupid skates! How is Togame so smooth on these freakish things? Especially when so many skating classes surround them. They dodge a child who was being picked up from the floor by her mom. They swing around a couple fighting to stay upright while holding hands. Ew, get a room!
“See how my legs move? Think of it like you’re swaying while walking.” Togame’s voice snaps his eyes forward then down. Right, he should actually try to learn while like this. Sakura takes note of how muscular legs move back and forth. While clothed in Togame’s usual outfit, he can still catch the way they flex.
Eyes squeeze shut. They reopen. Shut again. Just peeking. Closed! Peeking! Closed! Why does it feel so awkward to look at his friend’s legs? He has to follow the instructions, damnit! Sakura swallows and decides a better place to look would be Togame’s navy chest.
“Right, sounds eas—“ A first attempt, and it ends in disaster. Sakura all but lunges forward the moment he freed his hands. Arms flail, and he finds himself right where he started. No one saw that. Actually, that would be a lie. Everyone noticed. How could they not? He guarantees some group of middle schoolers are giggling at the slam his foot made.
“Careful! Keep your weight to the sides, not in front of you.”
“Ergh, I’m trying!” He really is! Sakura furrows his brows to concentrate. Side to side. The motion will propel him forward. He stands upright, feeling confidence stomp the anxiety that crawls inside his stomach like a boot on a pesky spider.
The teen huffs as they make another turn. Two laps in. His face has avoided injury, which is a step up from the other guy who just body slammed the ground behind them. Maybe Sakura isn’t the worse skater alive right now. That gives him an extra drop of confidence, which he desperately needed.
“Okay, doing good. Keep your eyes forward so you don’t crash into people.” Sakura raises his gaze to find a navy chest. His struggle to keep his skates from clacking subsides after a few minutes. Left, right, left, right. Legs sway like branches in a gentle breeze. Subtle but strong enough to make leaves fall to the ground.
Third lap. Togame picks up their speed just a bit. As the other skaters sling past them, the two remain at their modest pace. Doing good so far. Without Sakura’s klutzy nature to distract him, Togame can focus on the warmth between their hands. It feels moist, likely from sweat. Sakura must have been more nervous than he led on. Just like him to do that.
“Are you ready to let go?” They reached the fourth loop without incident, so why does Sakura have such an odd look to his face? His determined eyes turn apathetic. Tight lips pull to the right as eyes downcast before shifting beside Togame.
Wait, that came out wrong! Did it sound like he was annoyed to have Sakura holding onto him? Far from it! Togame could skate like this for the rest of their lives. Even if the world shattered around them, he would be happy to stay in the whirlpool. It means Sakura would hold his hands and rely on him!
“I-I should be.“ Purple lights turn pink. He can do this. Once they separate, Sakura can skate by his side. Shoulder to shoulder, blades millimeters from brushing as they roll the night away. That almost feels…romantic.
Romantic? Romantic?! The very thought makes Sakura flush, and he begins to falter. Legs kick up, jutting in every direction. Arms are flying in search of anything in the world to stop him. Shit, the wall! He’s gonna crash right into it! Should he slam the breaks and risk busting a lip?
In the last seconds before impact, an arm slings out and pulls him into a warm chest. The scent is all too familiar. Earthy with a rush of saltwater and cloves. Head tilted upward, Sakura’s yellow eye peeks at his crimson savior. Such a beautiful color it is on Togame. Not as good as orange though. That belongs just to him.
“Gotcha! That was close. You almost got really hurt.” The smile he offers is brief. His downward green eyes widen as lips flatten. Despite the brevity of such a grace, Sakura cherishes it. Togame always had a grin to offer. How can it be so easy?
Yellow turns green. Sakura wants to know what makes Togame so laid back. What gives him that ability to smile away his problems? How foolish his pondering face must look.
“Oh, uh, you don’t like hugging, right? Sorry, I can let go—“
“Don’t!” Just as the firm grasp lessened, Sakura blurted his command. Don’t let go. Don’t pull away. Don’t leave him behind!
Sakura blinks when Togame’s face reveals surprise rather than anger. Right, raising his voice is…okay. No one will punish him for the uproar. His friends may seem surprised, shocked, perhaps even disappointed, but never angry. Assuming Sugishita is not around. The two would break out into a brawl if that were the case.
“I-I-I mean, I mean, not until we get back to our table. I’m gonna fall again…” His excuse holds little weight, but Togame goes along with it. His smile returns, and with it, their bodies to the occupied booth.
Sakura grips the table’s edge as he eases his way into the seat. Togame pulls his arms from the boy in order to sit across from him. Skates kiss with every shift of their clunky feet. Sakura tries not to think about how close their knees are to brushing.
“Sorry I’m so bad at this. I’ve never gone roller skating before.” He was forbidden from joining his foster family’s outings. No beach trips or visits to the zoo. The looming threat of being “sent back” kept him from slipping out of his hovel. He was not family. Hardly a guest. No different than if they were housing an exchange student. A perpetual boundary that severed Sakura from them.
“It’s okay. It takes a lot of practice. Arima had the worst bruises when we started coming here.” Togame retrieves his phone to reveal a photo of a younger Arima face first in a booth. His scrawling limbs indicates a catastrophic fall as an out of focus Choji rolls in with drinks.
Sakura snorts out a chuckle. Okay, maybe a few tumbles can be forgiven. He hasn’t made himself into that big of a fool, yet. Growling stomachs from both teens interrupts the laughter. A perfect excuse to take a break from the rink.
Orders of gyoza, sandwiches, and takoyaki sit between them. A sheepish offer to split the food was agreed upon by Togame, seeing that Sakura had half of the amount crumpled in his pocket. Admitting that he lacked the funds to afford his own meals would be idiotic. What if Togame tried to pay for both of them? Too much money! No one should spend that kind of cash on him.
Chopsticks pull food from the center of the table. Sakura sips on a Ramune. He forgets which flavor it is, but he knows Togame drinks it often. He paid for both, so it was too late for Sakura to insist that he can eat without it. Refusing it would be rude, so what choice does he have?
“I’ll probably need regular practice. Y-You know, or else I won’t learn.” Two gyozas remain with three takoyaki balls and a bite of his half of the sandwich. How hard would it be to actually make this kind of food? Togame seems like he would know. After all, he constantly mans the food stalls at the summer festival.
“Happy to teach.” Maybe he can ask for cooking lessons. It beats ordering take out and surviving off of whatever freebies the townsfolk hand out. He should really show his appreciation more. These people keep him from starving at this point.
When Sakura improves, the two of them can spend their free time skating around the city. Where would they go? A park lies near Shishitoren. That abandoned parking lot would be a good place too. Somewhere they can be alone, focused on impressing the other with tricks and spins.
Orange lights illuminate the rink. Togame could almost blush at how the white half of Sakura’s head dyes with each change. Part of him wants to see the boy under a blacklight. How brightly would that half of him glow? It may hide his blush, but not the glimmer of teeth as he suppresses a smile.
For Togame, his school jacket would turn into a highlighter. White accents would be snuffed by the brightness. No one would be able to look away from such a noticeable outfit. If Sakura were to wear it…
If Sakura wore his school jacket, he would shine brighter than any star in the sky. How Togame aches to behold his crush under such conditions. One day, maybe. When their fates align, and he has every excuse in the world to bundle the man in pride.
“One more round? Or do you wanna keep picking at crumbs?” A finger points at the teen using his chopsticks to toy with the leftovers. Nothing but increments of what they ordered. They must have been famished to have eaten so quickly. They’re certainly sweaty enough. Togame more than his companion.
That look returns to Sakura. The one he gives when determination fills his heart. A face Togame falls in love with over and over again. To think a world exists where he never saw this smile. A world he must suffer in, he presumes.
God, why is he tormenting himself? Loving Sakura is just too easy.
“I won’t fall this time.”
While not a promise Sakura manages to keep, he refuses to back down. They skate beside each other, a hand gripping Togame’s arm for support. He slips once, but the recovery was instant. Look at that! Sakura is already on his way to challenging his friend to a race.
Round and round, the shifting colors mark their laps. Was it 10 greens? 12 blues? They hardly know anything outside of each other in this moment. Their eyes meet, and for the nth time that night, the pair exist in a blushing hue.
They glance away. Too much all at once. Sakura just might explode right here and now. Togame is on the verge of falling in love for a third time tonight.
An announcement signals the start of a children’s only session. The last one for the day, it seems. Together, they head for their bags as tiny roller skates clack recklessly. Helmets and elbow pads are put to the test while they return their rented equipment.
Laced sneakers walk along pavement back to Togame’s house. It turns out that he lives closest to the only rink in town. In the same breath, the truce between Shishitoren and Bofurin meant that Sakura’s side could finally return to it. So much for using it as a get away spot.
“Same time Wednesday? I’m free.” Maybe this could be their thing. The special something he gets to have with Sakura. They can buy their own sets of skates to customize. Loading them with stickers, clipping charms onto the laces, using wheels that light up as they move.
“I can text you the plans.” Is this what it means to get closer to someone? Sakura is almost afraid to make such a commitment. Togame might get bored of it. Doing the same thing over and over again, the joy dulling into no more than an obligation.
But, what if it turns out differently than that? What if they find a way around their schedules, a way to meet at least once a week? No, too optimistic. Once every two weeks. Maybe an occasional thing if they both happen to be free at the same time.
No, who is he to deny himself such a thing? Sakura wants this. He wants to roller skate like their peers, laughing the night away. Togame might even take photos of them together. Would that be such an awful thing?
“Sakura-a. Do you…wanna make these into dates?” Any contemplation Sakura held within his mind is wiped blank. He freezes at Togame’s doorstep, now realizing the two had arrived to the home already. Was he spacing out? Togame must have said that just to make him pay attention!
“D-D-Dates?! D-Wha-Huh?!” And there goes that beautiful blush. Sakura flounders, back turned to his friend as hands cover his face. No way! No way! Someone wants to date him?! Not just someone either. Togame! His rival turned friend with fighting benefits!
This is impossible! Can two boys even date? No one ever explained this shit to him! The only time he was ever asked out was by another girl in the orphanage, which ended in ridicule when he said yes. Why would anyone date an ugly, angry boy like him?
“I was just wondering. I mean, we’re really close now, and we hang out more often…” Eyes look away in hopes of easing Sakura of his torment. While the other was busy with his roller skate dilemma, Togame had other thoughts swarming in his mind.
To keep these feelings hidden would be a disrespect to their fight. Sakura told him to be true to himself! That means removing his heart and holding it out to the boy on a silver platter. Togame wants to see that face blush everyday. When he wakes up after a sleepover, when they share their first kiss, when they blow out the candles on their shared birthday cake.
Knowing Sakura all too well, the teen is likely scrambling to make sense of his words. A logical, realistic scenario that entirely avoids the possibility that someone wants to be hand in bandaged hand with him.
“I have a crush on you.” More than a crush, but this is a good starting point for them. Liking turns into crushes, and crushes turn into love. Oh, what a concept! Loving Sakura. Loving his smile, his fists, the way his nose twitches right before he sneezes. Man, that was the cutest thing ever. Togame thanked the powers that be for allowing him to see it.
Sakura flips around and shoves his face against the other’s chest. Hands grip Togame’s jacket far too tightly. Damnit, damnit! Why is he letting himself fall for this again? He knows what waits. The teasing, the laughter. A hideous wretch like himself is undeserving of love.
Yet he yearns for it. Buried in the depths of his heart, locked behind the scars of trauma, lies a boy who aches to be loved. His heartbeat refuses to relax. His breath near shaking. Sakura wants to be loved. He needs to be. Maybe, just maybe, for once, his heart can open once more.
One more chance…
“6:30 on Wednesday. Don’t be late, or I’ll punch you. It’s-It’s rude to keep your….d-date waiting, yeah?” Sakura wants to be Togame’s date. This is his confession. He did it, yet no relief arrives. What an idiot he is. Sakura awaits laughter. He awaits a shove to the ground and a slam of the door. What a fool he is to think anyone would date him.
The breath in his lungs stills when a hand cups the back of his head. What are you thinking, Jo Togame? A touch as gentle as this is one of acceptance. It must be an act. A way to feign interest only to lower Sakura’s guard.
The walls are going up. Bad idea. He always comes up with bad ideas. He should pull away and run. No one will ever love him. They will tolerate him, act civil towards him, but they will never truly love him.
“Yeah, it is. I’ll be there, Sakura.” To his shock, lips press to the pair of cowlicks that stick out from his forehead. A kiss?! Too much! Way too much! Togame, you lovesick idiot!
Sakura pulls back, and with a half squeaked “bye”, darts into the night. His legs, despite the exhaustion from skating, never stop until he burst through his front door. A scream emits as he runs across the kitchen towards his room. Sweaty clothes are ditched in a hamper Suo got him. Sneakers kick themselves into his empty closet.
His voice never ceases until Sakura drenches himself with cold water in the shower. Screw waiting for it to warm up! A boy kissed him! Kissed! K-i-s-s-e-d! What in God’s name is he supposed to do now?!
After his shower, Sakura nose dives beneath his futon. Face buried into his pillow, another scream comes out. Legs buck in a manner untamed stallions are familiar with. He rolls and writhes, not relaxing until the last of his strength extinguishes.
He was kissed!