Chapter Text
"I'm sorry, but our contract will not be renewed in the new year."
No Safe Haven took a deep breath and bowed at the waist. "I understand, Trainer Takashi."
"I… put together a list of trainers who can hold you over before the next try outs."
A piece of paper was slid across the desk.
"I wish you the best in your future endeavors."
No Safe Haven took the paper. "T-thank you, Trainer. I wish the same to you. Will we— am I going to—"
"No. I have… I have other things I have to focus on until the end of the year. I'm sorry. I would take the opportunity to reflect on your experiences and speak to the trainers on that list about the new year."
"I see. I… will do that. Thank you again."
"Have a good day, Haven."
"And they're off in today's Hopeful Stakes and in first place is… Coastal Storm?”
No Safe Haven glanced up at the TV in the conbini as she finished up her snack run. It was the day after Christmas, and she didn't have anywhere to be for the holiday. Her dark hair was half-heartedly coiled back into a bun, some of her fringe falling forward in front of her eyes and needing to be brushed back with regularity. She wore a red and white rose blossom on her right ear, with a black ribbon tied in a bow. Underneath her jacket she wore a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, the latter with its hood popping out of the jacket collar so she could pull it over her ears when she left to go back to Tracen. She was not planning on watching the races, or their reruns. She was looking forward to some quiet time, alone.
"Holy shit, that's that one American girl," said the clerk. "Look at her go!"
"She's not gonna make it, Fine Motion's right there."
"Oh shut up, you're just a fanboy."
"I am not just a fanboy—"
No Safe Haven tried to ignore the noise. She stopped next to the refrigerated drinks and considered her options. Mr. Coffee wasn't a bad brand, but they didn't have the flavor she liked today. She picked up six cans of BOSS Rainbow, putting them into her basket two at a time, then grabbed a liter bottle of hojicha.
“Coastal Storm leads the pack by five lengths into the back straight. Can she keep up this pace?" called the announcer. "In second place is It’s Calling, followed closely by Fine Motion!”
"See look, Fai-chan's in third—"
"Shut up shut up look look—"
No Safe Haven held in a sigh and put her basket on the counter. The iced coffees rattled against each other and jostled the pile of onigiris she had pulled out of the cooler. A single ice cream cone toppled off the pile of seaweed and rice, bounced off of the side of the basket, and hit the counter with a thunk. The top popped off, rolled back off the counter to land next to the cashier's feet. He didn't notice at all.
"Hey, can I…" Haven started, before blowing the rest of her sentence out with a sigh. Whatever. She picked up the ice cream cone and considered it. She'd picked up a vanilla swirl cone made by a company called Blusagi. The chocolate on the top was what made it a swirl, and the white ice cream underneath was the vanilla. She peeled back the paper around the top, sighed again, and bit into it.
“Coastal Storm maintains her commanding lead as they head into the final corner. Can she go all the way? Fine Motion is moving up behind her, but can’t quite seem to close the gap. And…"
"Fai-chan no, come on, you can do it—"
"...oh my goodness, racing forward through the pack is Zenno Rob Roy! The green tartan demonness is racing through the pack like they aren’t even there!”
"Holy shit! Holy shit dude look at Rob Roy what the fuck—"
The ice cream was kind of bad. It had a weird foamy texture. The ice cream seemed to fizz when she bit into it and as it melted against her tongue. The vanilla was sort of there, probably artificial, but the ice cream was otherwise mostly just sweet and didn't have much flavor. The chocolate was what saved it — darker than most other brands, so it popped against the plain ice cream. Haven wasn't sure why she kept buying this ice cream, but she couldn't be bothered to try the other brands in the freezer.
The sound from the TV grew to a roar. The announcer was barely audible as the cashiers shouted and pounded on the counter. Haven's onigiri pile fell apart further. She glanced up at the reflection of the TV off the microwave behind the counter. Two umamusume she saw every day in class flashed past the finish line, black braids only a neck behind red. Haven swallowed, crunched into the cone of her ice cream, and looked away. She didn't taste much and couldn't tell if it was because the cone sucked or because of how dry her mouth had gone.
“It’s Coastal Storm! Coastal Storm has done it, keeping an utterly wild lead to the end! In second place—"
"Holy shit, what the hell man," said the cashier as he leaned back, hands on his head from amazement. "Man, I told you that Stormy's the one. She's the one!"
"She's pretty good, but Fai-chan's going to get her next time— oh shoot, sorry miss, you need to check out?"
"Yes please," said No Safe Haven as the cashier began scanning her items. "And this ice cream."
"Blusagi vanilla swirl? You got it. Sorry about the wait, just the race is on and…"
"I understand," said Haven. "Don't worry about it."
A drop of ice cream dripped off the cone onto her hand.
"Watch for that one, I hear she's crazy."
No Safe Haven nearly tripped over her own feet. She kept her ears pointed forwards as the two runners behind her gossiped at a volume that they thought she couldn't overhear.
"Crazy? What do you mean?"
"You haven't heard? That's No Safe Haven. She got disqualified out of every maiden race she's run in her junior year."
"That doesn't sound right."
"It's true, I swear."
It wasn't true. Haven had lost three of them fair and square — horrible placings too, in the bottom quarter of the field. The two times she had been disqualified she would have taken second and fourth.
"Well, either way, she doesn't sound like much of a racer. Nobody who runs that poorly could be that bad could they?"
"Maybe. But they say that she tries to bite you if you get too close."
"Midrace?"
"Yeah! In one race, she even intentionally swerved in front of someone to make them crash!"
That had been an accident!
"Wow, seriously? That really is crazy."
"Yeah, I heard her trainer got his license suspended—"
"Hey! Girls, what are you talking about!"
The two umamusume behind No Safe Haven yelped. "Nothing!"
"Sure you aren't! Punishment laps, double time!"
"Yes, Trainer…"
Haven kept her eyes down as the two umamusume passed her, giving a wide berth as they ran past. She finished her lap and jogged off of the track. She was done for the day anyway, so she may as well grab a shower early before a line formed.
If the sound of rushing water hid her tears, it was just a useful side effect.
"Hey, 'scuse me."
No Safe Haven jumped as someone touched her shoulder. Her earphones clattered as she whipped around, the clips slipping off of her ears from the sweat that had accumulated over the the course of her run. The treadmill's safety clip popped off as Haven turned, the motion pulling the lanyard and unhooking the clip from its magnetic clasp to make the treadmill slow to a complete stop. Haven took a deep breath and braced herself against the bars of the treadmill. Her legs suddenly had gone all wobbly.
"Whoa, hey, didn't mean to scare you!" said the person who had interrupted. Haven could see brown hair in two puffy tails on either side of her head and red ear covers tied on with green ribbon. The umamusume was carrying a towel and a bottle of water in one arm, while her other was still outstretched towards Haven. "I was just wondering if you were going to be much longer," the umamusume said. "I noticed you've been here for a while, and I already went ahead and did the rest of my workout, and there's no other treadmills available…"
Haven looked around the exercise room. It had gotten extremely busy, as was typical. She had specifically made sure to get here early to avoid needing to ask someone to use a treadmill, skipping dinner in the process. She nodded at the other umamusume.
"Sorry," Haven said. "I lost track of time."
She turned to pick up her long-empty water bottle and abruptly felt her knees give out.
"Whoa!"
The other umamusume snatched Haven from the air before she could hit the ground. "Girl, how long have you been running?"
Haven made an incoherent noise as she tried to sit up. This was so embarrassing.
The other umamusume firmly held her in place. There was a rattle as she reached for Haven's water bottle, found it empty, then uncapped her own water bottle. "Open your mouth."
"Why?" Haven asked. The other umamusume shoved the spout of her water bottle into Haven's mouth and squeezed water in. Haven spluttered. "Hey! Stop that!"
"You only brought a five hundred mil bottle, what do you think you're doing?!" the umamusume scolded. "Hurry up and drink the water dummy!"
No Safe Haven drank the water sourly as a small crowd began to form. She could feel her face heating up as her ears pinned back in annoyance. This really wasn't that big of a deal.
"Nature? What's going on?" asked a trainer, pushing his way through the crowd.
"Minamizaka, this girl just fainted in front of me—"
"I didn't faint—"
"Hush and keep drinking," the umamusume said, shoving the spout back into Haven's mouth. "I think she's been running for a while—"
"She was already running when I came in after dinner!" someone in the back piped up.
"Get her to the infirmary," said Trainer Minamizaka immediately. "Ikuno, I'll leave you to manage the team—"
"Of course sir—"
"This is really not necessary—" No Safe Haven tried to say.
The umamusume hushed her. "Please just stop talking," she said as she lifted Haven up like she was a baby. Haven's face was surely bright red. Ugh. "My name's Nice Nature, by the way. We'll find out yours soon enough, you dumb-dumb."
"Luckily, the kitchen was still washing up when we called in, and the head cook's a dedicated lady," said Trainer Minamizaka as he sat down next to Haven's infirmary bed. "She'll be up with your dinner in half an hour or so."
"Mmm," said No Safe Haven. She was still embarrassed, but the mortification had become so strong that it had crossed into numb acceptance. Nice Nature was sat on the other side from Trainer Minamizaka and was holding Haven's hand like she was some kind of horribly fragile invalid. It was just low blood sugar and a little dehydration — this kind of thing happened to umamusume all the time at Tracen. An accident. Goddesses, but they were fussing.
"I'd like to know what kind of training regimen your trainer has you on that requires this kind of exercise," said Trainer Minamizaka. His tone was like watching a yakuza lay an unsheathed sword on the table while commenting on the weather over a cup of tea.
"I don't have a trainer," said Haven. "I just had an accident is all."
"Have you debuted yet?"
"Yes."
"So you've lost your trainer then."
Haven's breath hitched. "Yes."
"I'll look them up in the directory—"
"No!" Haven said sharply. She snatched at Trainer Minamizaka's hand. "Don't— it's not his fault—"
Trainer Minamizaka's eyebrows arched off his brow. "It is the duty of every trainer to nip self-destructive behavior in the bud—"
"I'm not self-destructive—"
"What do you call running for hours without a meal if not self-destructive, No Safe Haven?" Trainer Minamizaka said sharply. Haven wilted back in her bed. Trainer Minamizaka took a deep breath. "I apologize. I recognize the bond between you and your trainer must be very deep. But this is not an acceptable way to train. You must never do it again."
"I won't," Haven whispered, looking down at her hands.
"Good. Nature, you'll look after her?"
"Of course."
"Good, thank you."
Trainer Minamizaka walked away, leaving Haven alone with Nice Nature to stew in her inadequacies.
"Denied," said Vice President Air Groove. She sighed and rested her hands on top of No Safe Haven's race application for the maiden sprint at the end of January. "I am sorry, Miss Haven. Not all procedures make sense, I know, but it really is for your own safety. We've had too many past incidents with students running on their own and not getting the medical checks before and after they need to race safely."
Haven took a deep, shaky breath. "I see."
"Is there a trainer you can get help from?" Air Groove asked gently. "I know that with your previous trainer having transferred to Hokkaido…"
Haven swallowed. "Trainer Takashi uh… he left me a list. But I haven't reached out yet."
"You should do that," said Air Groove. She slid the paper back across the desk to Haven. "See if one of them will chaperone you for the race. It doesn't need to be a big deal yet. I know, when a trainee undergoes this experience, it can be a while before you feel comfortable running with a new team."
No Safe Haven picked up the sheet and stood from her chair. She bowed to the vice president. "Thank you for the advice. I will consider it deeply."
Air Groove nodded. Haven quietly stepped out of the Student Council main office and shut the door behind her.
&&&
"Yes I believe that's possible," said Trainer Minamizaki. He checked his schedule on his laptop and winced. "Nevermind. Can you do the race on the weekend of the Kyodo News Hai?"
No Safe Haven grimaced but nodded. "I can, thank you sir."
"Its a bit longer for you to be out of contention than I'd like," Trainer Minamizaki said as he changed the date to February 15th, then scribbled his signature at the bottom of the form. "I can fit you into our group practices, I think—"
"There's no need, sir," said Haven, taking the form from him. "I know it would be a lot of trouble—"
"Let me rephrase that, No Safe Haven," said Trainer Minamizaki, holding tightly onto the paper to keep her from leaving. "You will be joining us for group practice. I don't know yet how the scheduling will work out, but you will not be running on your own in the future."
Haven's ears pinned back. "This is about the time on the treadmill."
"It is indeed," said Trainer Minamizaki. "I got in contact with Trainer Shibahara about your junior year—"
Haven dropped the paper and turned away. "I'm not having this conversation," she said, making as fast as she could for the door.
"Haven!"
The door clacked shut as Haven ran away.
"Hey."
Haven looked up from her seat on the roof overlooking campus.
"Hn," said Haven, turning away from Nice Nature and tightening her grip on her knees.
"Minamizaki said that he'll turn in your paperwork," said Nature. She sat down on the roof next to Haven, just outside of arm's reach. "He wanted to say he's sorry for trying to pressure you into joining the team."
Haven didn't turn her head. "He's fine."
"He's just… worried for you."
Haven grunted. She couldn't really imagine why, but she wasn't a complete asshole. People said things when they were upset and she couldn't fault them that much for it.
"The thing with the treadmill has him spooked," Nature continued. "One of the things we get taught about is how easy it is for trainees to pick up eating disorders. He, we, don't want you to miss any more meals."
"We?"
"Well, my degree's in psychology with a research focus in athlete mental health," said Nice Nature. "Yes, I'm concerned too."
Haven snorted. "What are you, my mom?"
"Do I need to be?"
"No."
Nice Nature didn't say anything for a moment.
"This only happened once, to my knowledge, so I'm going to trust you," she said. "But I still want you to come to team practice. You don't need to be on the team, but you need to write down your training routine and Minamizaki will have it on file. If any one of us — that's me, Minamizaki, or Ikuno Dictus for the record—"
"I don't need babysitters—"
"You aren't being babysat," said Nature, "but you don't lift heavy weights without a spotter do you?"
There was a telling silence.
"...this is why we want you at group training, Haven," said Nature with a heavy sigh. "This is dangerous. You won't be able to race if you injure yourself."
Haven curled up tighter and grit her teeth. That much was true.
"...fine. I'll… print out a copy of my training schedule for him."
"Good. Do you want to come down? Ikuno brought some snacks from her roommate."
"Isn't that bad for you?"
"Just the one won't matter," said Nature. She stood up and offered a hand. "Come on, it'll be tasty. Mejiro McQueen's rich, so she's always getting us the good stuff."
Haven looked at Nature's hand. She didn't move for several seconds. A breeze kicked up and blew her hair into her face.
"I'll try some, I guess," Haven said, pushing herself to her feet. "...thanks for the invitation."
"You're welcome," said Nice Nature. She offered Haven a smile before turning towards the stairs. Haven lingered, watching her go, and wondered.
Classic Year Maiden
Dirt - 1,300 meters
Sunny, Good
Tokyo Racecourse
"One of the runners today has had a history of getting disqualified for unsafe running, so keep an eye out. She's going to be in post sixteen, No Safe Haven."
"Oh, I've heard of her. You got it, Trainer, don't worry!"
Haven tried not to listen as trainer and trainee discussed different ways to avoid her and make sure she didn't ruin the trainee's chances. She tried to focus on her stretches and her warm ups, as the pair did a little pre-race dance to get in the mood, then slapped hands with a cheer. She turned off to the side as she heard approaching cleats clicking on concrete, the sound easily audible over the subdued murmur from the stands. Nobody was here for them — any fans who had shown up were there for someone in the Kyodo News Hai that afternoon.
The footsteps paused as Haven bent over to stretch her hamstrings. After a moment, they kept walking. Haven stood up and turned to watch them go. The runner was post fourteen. She didn't remember post fourteen's name.
She hoped they would do well.
"And it's racer number fourteen, Blue Iron!"
No Safe Haven crossed the line and slowed, stumbling to her knees in the dirt after the finish line. He raised a hand and grasped onto the rail for support, trying desperately to get air into her lungs. She had been right next to Blue Iron with only one hundred meters to go. She could have— it was so close—
"Blue Iron crosses the line first, followed by Narita Esteem in second, and No Safe Haven in— wait."
Haven felt her blood go cold as she snapped her head up towards the announcement box. Wait? Why were they waiting? She turned to the board: no numbers had gone up.
There was no way.
"Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately there will be a delay here while the stewards review the race."
Haven struggled to her feet and turned around, staring down the final stretch. Nobody had been injured. Everybody seemed alright. She turned back around. Blue Iron had been a full two lengths ahead, and Narita Esteem's tail had nearly hit Haven in the nose in the last dozen meters. The outcome shouldn't be in doubt—
"Ah, post sixteen has been disqualified for illegal maneuvering," said the announcer. "That means that post four, Sahara Silver moves up to third! Congratulations to Sahara Silver!"
Haven stared at the announcer's booth. The crowd put up a smattering of applause for Sahara Silver. The umamusume on the racecourse began to make their way off of the track. Haven's feet felt like they had turned into lead bricks. She couldn't make herself move.
"Typical," someone muttered as she walked off. "Did you see how tight she cut off number twelve? Could have really gotten her hurt."
"Yeah," another runner replied. "Goddesses, what a jerk."
"Well, that was certainly a novel experience," said Minamizaka. "I've never had to have that meeting before."
"My apologies," Haven said quietly.
"Oh please don't be," said Minamizaka as he closed the door behind them at his office at Tracen. "It's a good experience — I'm sure there will be another trainee who will need me to be there for them."
Haven fidgeted. That was… the most unreasonably positive spin she could ever imagine putting on the situation. "I see."
"We do, however, need to talk about it now that we're back from the race," said Minamizaka. He sat down in front of his desk and flipped open the cover of his table to prop it up at an angle for viewing. He looked up at Haven. "Have a seat."
Haven blinked at him. She took a breath, then walked over to sit down.
"The race organizers were generous enough to give me the race footage to review the incident," said Minamizaka. "You'll have seen something like this before, right?"
"...Trainer and I — that is, Trainer Takashi — we used to watch the footage together too," Haven said.
"Good," said Minamizaka as he started the video. "Well I'm not sure what you talked about, but I did want to mention that you break very nicely from the gate."
Haven shifted uncomfortably. "It's alright."
"It's top class," said Minamizaka. "If I didn't know better, I would have pegged you for a front runner."
"We er, studied Silence Suzuka's breaking technique during our book sessions," said Haven.
"Ah, that explains it. Well, you certainly don't run like a front runner. You break excellently, but don't use it to get to the front. Why is that?"
Haven looked down at the floor. "I uh. Trainer Takashi tried to get me to at least the middle of the pack, but we never got over my anxiety before this past December. We, I— I don't— it's hard to see where to go if I'm running that fast out the gate, and…"
"So you use your good starts to make sure you have the reserves to make up for being wide on the first turn," said Minamizaka, nodding as the Haven on the screen did as he said. She slotted smoothly into eleventh, showing no signs of stress. "You're running well."
Haven looked down at the floor again and rubbed her nose, embarrassed. "...thank you."
"You needed to start moving up the pack around here," said Minamizaka a few seconds later, tapping on the screen to pause. "Did you see the lane open up on this angle?"
Haven swallowed and shook her head. "I don't remember what I was doing then…"
Minamizaka frowned and tapped through the different camera views. "There doesn't seem to be a good angle. You may have slipped on a loose patch of dirt, but the overhead camera doesn't catch it."
"Maybe," Haven said. More than likely she just hadn't been looking. She wasn't very good at keeping her head up. The dirt flying past her head bothered her — she was working on it, but it was hard to get experience when nobody wanted to scrimmage with her.
"Let's keep watching," said Minamizaka. He tapped the screen to let the video play again. The race being a sprint, it didn't take long for Haven's foul to appear on screen. They were rounding the final corner when Haven kicked off a burst of power.
"It really does not get better seeing it a second time," Minamizaka said with a wince as they watched.
Haven winced too. She didn't remember clearly what had happened in the race, only that she was stuck near the rail, knew that the final turn was coming up, and she hadn't managed to make it to the front of the pack yet. You were meant to be in the front half of the pack if you started as a late surger — that's what Trainer Takashi had said at least. The familiar realization that she was going to lose had squeezed at her throat, choking her of air, and she'd seen a gap in the bodies in front of her.
The Haven on the tablet saw it as well, and pounced. She slithered through a gap between number ten and number twelve that was so narrow it barely counted — in fact it didn't, seeing as she had been disqualified. Number twelve had been holding a little less than a neck off from number ten, but the turn pushed her outwards and left a half-length gap between her and number ten. Haven shot through it, punching right diagonally with her left foot to fly like a cannonball across number twelve's nose. The other umamusume shouted in shock as she veered sharply right to avoid collision, and had to kick hard to keep her position as Haven slipped past number ten to charge up the straight.
The rest of the race was clean, with the pack spreading enough so that Haven had nobody in front of her as she chased the leaders from near the rail. They watched as the umamusume crossed the finish line.
"While illegal," Minamizaka said, "that was some remarkable footwork, No Safe Haven."
Haven blinked and turned in surprise to face Minamizaka. "I'm… sorry?"
"Truly, did you learn that on your own?" said Minamizaka. "Do you think you could teach it to others? Matikanetannhauser often runs as a late surger and sometimes has trouble with breaking out of the pack."
"I— I don't— that's surely not safe?" Haven stammered. "I'm not— you're not supposed to imitate people like me?"
"Like you?" Minamizaka said, raising an eyebrow
"Yes, like me," said Haven. "People who— people that— I'm dangerous to others!"
"Well, I think that's a bit overstated—"
"I am," said Haven. She stood out of her chair with a clatter. "I— a girl sprained her ankle when I ran into her in my debut. It was a total disaster. I'm not— other runners shouldn't imitate me."
Minamizaka regarded her with raised eyebrows, then carefully slid his chair back to stand. "No Safe Haven, your concern for the safety of others is noted, but I am a licensed trainer with five years of experience under my belt," he said. The confidence in his voice made Haven take a step back. "There are many ways that we can mitigate such risks, and only through understanding can we prevent recurrence. We can do it together."
Haven's mouth had gone dry. "I… I don't see how…"
Minamizaka held out his hand. "No Safe Haven, may I please invite you to join Team Canopus? It would be my honor to help you reach your fullest potential as an umamusume."
"You're inviting me?" Haven asked. "Why? That's— you should pick someone else. There's new trainees coming in a month—"
"The one I want to scout is right in front of me," said Minamizaka. He held his hand out implacably. "She's an umamusume who's quick with her feet but is a little unconfident. She wants to win and will push herself to get there, but can't help not knowing what she doesn't know. And I know that if I give her the opportunity, she'll shine bright as any other star."
Haven blinked and felt tears run down her cheeks. "You're being serious?" she whispered.
"Completely."
Haven rubbed her eyes. For someone like her, to hear someone say something like that— "You're such a dork, Trainer," she sniffled, before taking his hand. "I… if you insist, then I… I accept."