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The doorbell rang at precisely 1:30 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon. Ilya and Shane were lounging in the living room, laying on opposite ends of their oversized couch. They were touching their toes absentmindedly. Ilya was scrolling Threads on his phone while Shane read some obscure hockey biography he’d purchased online from Thrift Books.
“Are you expecting someone?” Shane asked, glancing up over his drooping glasses at Ilya.
“Nope,” Ilya replied, accentuating the ‘p’ in that super hot way that only Ilya could. “Checking the security app now.” Ilya tapped over to the app on his phone and pulled up the front door camera feed.
“Huh,” he said curiously, holding out his phone for Shane to see that there was a delivery person standing on their porch holding a package.
“Did you order more hockey books?” Ilya teased.
“No. Did you order something else from the TikTok shop?” Shane chirped back.
Ilya swung his legs off the couch, shooting Shane a mock offended look.
“I will go see what it is.”
Ilya returned from the front door a few minutes later, package in hand, a very strange look on his face. He placed it on the oversized coffee table in front of them.
“There is no return address or postage,” he said, sitting down in front of the box.
Shane quickly moved to a sitting position so that he was shoulder to shoulder with Ilya.
They looked at the box.
“Should we be concerned?” Shane asked, his voice taking on a pre-panic hitch that was only recognizable to Ilya.
“I don’t…think so?” It started as a statement but turned into a question because honestly, Ilya wasn’t certain.
They were still staring at the box as though if they kept looking long enough they’d eventually be able to see through it, when Ilya’s phone rang. They both jumped, startled out of their staring contest with the package.
“Fuck!” Shane exclaimed as Ilya reached into his pocket to fish out his phone.
‘It’s Yuna, on FaceTime,” he said. He accepted the request immediately and Yuna’s bright smiling face filled the screen, and Ilya couldn’t help but smile wide back at his favorite mother-in-law.
“Hello, Yuna! How are you?” He shifted the phone so that Yuna could see Shane next to him.
“I’m good, sweetheart. Hi, Shane!”
“Ilya gets ‘sweetheart’ and I just get Shane?” Shane whined.
“Yes,” Yuna replied, matter-of-factly. “Ilya, did you get it yet?”
Ilya and Shane exchanged puzzled looks.
“Did I get what?”
“The box!”
“Oh! Yes, I got a box. It had no return address or information. I did not know it was from you,” explained Ilya.
“It’s not from me, but I was contacted in order to get it to you.”
Ilya’s brows furrowed. He was definitely intrigued now.
Yuna continued. “I would like to watch your reaction to opening it, if you are okay with that.”
Ilya and Shane exchanged glances again.
“Mom, what the hell?!” Shane exclaimed.
“I promise, Ilya, you are going to love it!” Yuna assured, ignoring Shane.
He put the phone down on the table, leaning it against a stack of coffee table books so that Yuna could see both of them.
Ilya picked up the cardboard box, which was taped with ordinary brown packaging tape which he pulled apart easily, the suspense growing with every passing second.
Inside that box was another box. Ilya took it out, immediately noting how fancy it was and how much care had been taken into the presentation of it. It was a rectangular cream gift box and felt…luxurious. The box was tied with a black silk ribbon, and a spring of dried flowers was woven into a neat bow tied in the middle. Ilya was already impressed by the presentation and was now even more eager to discover its contents.
He started painstakingly untying the ribbon, declining Shane’s offer to go get a pair of scissors. After he was finally able to get it unknotted, he carefully removed it and the dried flowers, placing them reverently on the table.
“You’re killing me, dude,” Shane commented, and looked at Yuna for agreement.
“Leave him alone and be quiet,” Yuna instructed and Shane’s eyes momentarily went wide before he clasped his mouth shut obediently.
Ilya took the lid off the cream box, looked inside and screeched. Like a legitimate high-pitched, teeny bopper screech that almost made Shane regret the fact that he was sitting so close to him. But his own curiosity got the better of him and he leaned in to see what Ilya was seeing.
Inside the fancy box was a piece of paper, and Shane could tell that it was a heavy cardstock, the exact same cream color as the gift box itself. Ilya set the box down as if it was the most precious gift he’d ever received and he pulled out the letter. It read:
Ilya,
First off, Travis and I are such big fans of you and your lovely husband, Shane! He saw your posts about being unable to get tickets in Vancouver and called me immediately! As a token of my appreciation for your support, it would be my honor to send you 4 V.I.P. tickets to the final night of the Eras Tour.
I hope you can make it!”
Love,
Taylor”
“Holy shit,” Shane said, reading it over his shoulder. “Is that real?”
They both looked to Yuna on the phone. “It is real! I was contacted by her team yesterday to facilitate getting it to you.”
“If I want to go?!?” Ilya exclaimed, his eyes already rereading the letter. His legs bounced excitedly. “Of course I want to go! I”
“What were you posting about?” Shane asked. He didn’t use social media much unless it was a team-mandaded thing.
“I was complaining about how hard it was to get tickets! I tried all of my contacts, but no one will give their tickets up because it is like the most exciting thing to happen this year!”
“Ok. But didn’t you already see the concert last year while you were visiting your friends in Boston?” Shane asked.
Ilya rolled his eyes. “Yes, Shane. Was Foxboro, not Boston. But that was before she added The Tortured Poets Department!”
“I really hate that I understand that sentence,” sighed Shane. Over the last few years, Ilya had taken a surprising special interest in Taylor Swift’s music, often playing it in the car and during their workouts.
“Excuse me for having taste,” he said, before turning his attention back to Yuna on the phone. “Yuna, this is the best surprise of all time!”
Shane let out an offended squawk. “Of all time? Better surprise than when I proposed, Ilya?”
“Fine, close second.” He turned again to Yuna.
“Yuna, how do we say yes? Do I call Taylor?”
Yuna laughed. “No, sweetheart. I will e-mail the person who contacted me. They are offering you 4 tickets, so I will let them know you are accepting and arrange to have everything you need sent over.”
“Yuna, you are the best! Thank you so much!” They said goodbye and hung up.
Ilya fell back on to the couch, letter still in hand. He kicked his feet with excitement and Shane couldn't help but laugh.
“I have never seen you this giddy before,” Shane commented, chuckling.
“Remember when we saw Travis Kelce at the last ESPY awards?”
“Oh yeah,” Shane said, remembering. “I told him I was a big fan of his and you said you were a big fan of his girlfriend.”
Ilya shrugged. “I tell only the truth.”
Shane shook his head, still stunned how he could be amazed and exasperated by his husband in equal measure.
Suddenly Ilya sat up, eyes wide.
“Shane. Did Yuna say Taylor is sending FOUR tickets?”
“Yuna said someone from Taylor’s team is sending four tickets,” he gently corrected.
“Whatever,” Ilya replied, waving his hand in the air. “This means I have to choose three people to bring with me.”
Shane’s mouth dropped open.
“Three?” he asked, incredulously.
A wide smirk spread across Ilya’s beautiful face.
“You pick on me mercilessly," he said, pointing to himself. “And you think you will get an automatic invitation because you are my husband?”
“Well…” Shane started, then trailed off.
“Well, what?”
Shane took a deep breath.
“I know I am notoriously uncool and know next to nothing about pop culture,” Shane started, putting air quotes around pop culture, which caused Ilya to roll his eyes playfully. “But even I understand this is a big deal.”
Ilya pretended to think it over for an annoyingly long time before responding. “Yes sweetheart, of course I will take you to my Taylor Swift V.I.P. experience. Now, who else do I ask to come with us?”
* * *
In the end, and after a series of long and at times heated discussions that spanned the course of three days, they decided to extend the other two tickets to Hayden and Jackie. Ilya had wanted to ask Harris and Troy, but Shane had argued that it could come across as playing favorites to pick one teammate over another. Ilya had sweetly asked if they should invite Yuna and David, but Shane didn’t think they would enjoy it.
Not that Ilya had been too keen on inviting Hayden Pike, but Shane had reminded him that Jackie was a huge Swiftie and that Ilya would most likely have the most fun sharing the experience with her. In the end, he decided the unfortunate presence of Hayden was a small price to pay for the genuine amount of freaking out that Jackie had done when Ilya had called to tell her.
A week before the concert, Shane came home from a meeting to find Ilya seated in the kitchen, an explosion of plastic containers filled with shiny, colorful beads fanned out around him. He was concentrating very intensely on something in front of him, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth.
“What are you doing?” Shane asked, causing Ilya to jump and a few beads to go flying, skittering loudly across the titled kitchen floor.
“Shit, you scared me!” Ilya said. “I am making friendship bracelets.”
Shane’s brow furrowed. “Because…”
“Because they are for trading at the concert. Do you not read the group chat?”
Ilya had created a group chat with himself, Shane, Jackie, and Hayden for all things concert-related. If Shane was being honest, after they worked out the travel and hotel logistics it had become more of an Ilya and Jackie group chat that he and Hayden weren’t monitoring very closely.
“I must have missed that part,” Shane said instead. He approached the island, picking up the handful of bracelets that Ilya had already made. Most said things that Shane didn’t understand, but he assumed they were like, song titles or something. One in particular caught his eye though.
“Hollanov?” Shane asked, holding up the bracelet.
“Yes, I’m on the internet. This is what the kids call us.”
“The kids?”
“You are so uncool, Hollander,” he replied, not taking his eyes off the bracelet he was currently in the process of stringing. “Come. Sit. Make a bracelet.” He paused to pat the stool next to him, but still didn’t look up.
Shane’s first instinct was to protest; he really had no interest in an arts and crafts project. But Ilya really did look kind of adorable focusing so hard so, reluctantly, Shane sat down.
He watched Ilya’s process for a few minutes, then got to work on making his own.
“This is surprisingly relaxing,” Shane said an indeterminate amount of time later, having already completed three bracelets.
“Yes it is,” agreed Ilya, who had started organizing his growing pile of colorful bracelets.
“Can I ask why you are so excited about this concert?” Shane asked, still concentrating on the bracelet he was currently finishing.
“It is good music, she seems like a nice person. Last concert was fun,” Ilya replied with a shrug.
“Sounds like there might be more to it than that.” Shane nudged Ilya under the table. “ I know you listen to music all the time, but you don’t really talk that much about it. And other than Fabian, you don’t go to many concerts.”
Ilya sighed.
“The truth? I used to mostly listen to music for, like, vibes, or to get pumped for hockey or going out. Did not really pay attention to lyrics. I used to say her music was annoying because that is what a lot of other people said, but I wasn’t really listening. Then she had the ‘folklore’ album a few years ago. Wyatt could not stop talking about how it was a surprise album or something. You know how Wyatt loves everything. But still, I got curious, so I listened. And I read the lyrics because it helps me to understand better.” He paused. “And it made me feel something.”
“Something…”
“Like, not alone? She has this song, ‘this is me trying’. It’s about feeling like you are not good enough even though you are trying so hard to be what you think everyone expects of you. And how sometimes all you have in you is to try, and how you hope that’s enough to get through the day. It’s silly, but it is a feeling that I can relate to.”
Shane is quiet for a moment.
“Ilya, that’s not silly. That’s…really nice, actually. I am glad you’re so excited about this. I’m glad I get to experience it with you.” He leaned over and kissed Ilya on the cheek, soft and sweet.
“Me too,” Ilya said. “After we finish the bracelets, we have to figure out outfits. I have so many ideas!”
Shane just shook his head because, fuck, he really did love everything about this man who he was still surprised by, even so many years later.
* * *
The day of the concert had finally arrived. Ilya and Shane were in their Vancouver hotel getting ready for the show. After much deliberation and a minor amount of contention (no Shane would not wear a full couples costume, no he did not know what “era” he was), Ilya had finally relented and told Shane he could wear whatever he wanted.
Shane was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a thin red button-up shirt. “Red,” he said. “Like the album!”
Ilya kissed him. It was the easiest and most obvious choice, but he knew Shane had probably gone to Google to come up with that, and that alone was one of the things that Ilya loved about him most of all.
On the other hand, Ilya had dug deep into the recesses of his closet, shuffling through his old club wear until finally settling on a pair of black leather pants and black semi-sheer button up top that featured a snake crawling up the back and over one shoulder. Shane didn’t quite understand the reference but Ilya looked hot as fuck so he didn’t plan on asking any questions, he was just going to enjoy the view.
“What time are we meeting Jackie and Hayd?” Shane asked, watching as Ilya applied a little more product to his curls.
“They should be here any minute. The ride I requested should be here in 15 minutes. We cannot be late!”
As if on cue, there was a knock at their suite door. Shane went to answer it as Ilya continued to fiddle with this hair.
Ilya heard Jackie squealing with excitement before he even laid eyes on her.
“Ilyyyyyya!” she exclaimed, as he stepped out of the bathroom. Jackie took a step back to look at his outfit. “Holy fuck, you look hot!”
“I heard that!” called Hayden.
“Yes, your wife has good taste, Hayden Pike.”
“It’s going to be a long night isn’t it?” Hayden asked, already mildly annoyed. He was wearing jeans and a popular Taylor Swift shirt that read “NOT A LOT GOING ON AT THE MOMENT.”
Ilya read the shirt. Then he looked at Jackie. Then he looked back at the shirt. Then he looked at Hayden, who could practically see the insult wheel spinning in head, waiting for it to land on the right one.
“Don’t,” Shane said, also seeing the same thing.
“Fine. I will be nice,” Ilya said. “For Taylor.”
Hayden laughed.
“Dude, I don’t get why you are even excited about this. It’s…” he started, but Shane cut him off.
“Guys, can we just have a fun night out and keep the chirping to a level 1 or 2?”
“I second this,” Jackie said. “I have been so excited about this and the trading insults all night is really going to kill the vibe.”
Hayden and Ilya eyed each other warily. Finally, Ilya conceded.
“I will keep chirps to a level 2.”
“I said level 1 or 2,” pointed out Shane.
“Yes. And I agree on 2.” He turned back to Jackie, who was wearing a silky blue jumpsuit with crystal moons and stars on it and sparkly silver boots. “You look stunning!”
“Thank you, Ilya. Are we ready to go?”
“Yes!” Ilya grabbed his phone, and a small box which contained their V.I.P. passes and instructions on where to go to be let in.
“Alright guys. Let’s go shake it off!” exclaimed Shane.
Everyone paused. Hayden groaned. Jackie shot Shane a look that said “really dude?”
Ilya grabbed Shane’s head, pulling it toward him and kissing the top of it. “It is so stupid how much I love you.” Ilya took his hand and they all headed out and down to the lobby to find their car.
* * *
“Holy shit.” Shane had been repeating those words for the last five minutes: as they had made their way to the venue via a special entrance where their passes and IDs were checked meticulously. They were then escorted to a backstage lounge area where food and beverages were available. He’d already spotted Jenna Fischer who played Pam on The Office, and could not stop stealing glances at her.
“Be cool, Shane.” Hayden reminded him and for once, Ilya was appreciative of Pike for saying what he’d been thinking himself.
“I am so cool!” Shane whined and Ilya and Hayden both scoffed at the same time, then immediately eyed each other warily.
Eventually, tour staff members started coming into the lounge area and offering to escort people to the V.I.P. area.
A friendly young woman approached them. “Hi, Mr. Rozanov. I’m Katie. I can escort you and your guests to the tent whenever you’re ready.”
Ilya smiled widely, reaching out to shake Katie’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Katie. Please, call me Ilya. And this is Jackie, this is Shane, and this is Hayden Pike, average hockey player.”
“Dude!” Hayden protested.
“Sorry,” Ilya said, holding up both hands in surrender. “Hayden Pike, slightly above average hockey player. Better?”
“Yes, actually.” Hayden replied, which got an actual chuckle out of Ilya.
Shane leaned over to Katie.
“They are just…like this,” he explained. “You can ignore it.”
“Got it,” said Katie, with a solemn nod.
“Katie, lead the way!” Ilya exclaimed. “We are ready for Taylor!”
She laughed and stepped forward, motioning the group to follow.
They travelled down a series of long hallways that led to a tunnel that brought them out to one side of the massive stage.
“Wow,” Shane commented, staring around incredulously at the enormity of it all.
“Pretty impressive, right?” Katie asked.
“Very.” Hayden said, also looking around in awe, as a security guard let them pass the backstage barricade and onto the floor of the stadium.
They had only walked a few steps before they heard a bit of excited commotion: people clapping and screaming. Shane turned around, expecting to see another celebrity behind them.
“Holy shit, that’s Ilya and Shane!” someone walking past them exclaimed.
Oh my god! Is that Shane Hollander and his husband?” someone else asked.
They heard a few more shouts and waves before Shane stopped walking.
“Are they cheering for us?” he asked, pulling Ilya toward him. He looked like he was entering panic mode.
“It sounds that way, my love.”
A girl walking by approached them, and Katie stepped in to intervene.
“Sorry, I just noticed you have friendship bracelets, Mr. Rozanov. Would you like to trade?” She held up her arms, which were adorned with colorful bracelets. Ilya nodded to Katie, letting her know that it was fine.
“Absolutely! Please, call me Ilya. What is your name?”
“Summer,” she said, holding out her hand so Ilya could choose a bracelet.
“Oh, I get to pick?” Ilya asked. He took Summer’s hand to shake it first, then inspected her arm for the bracelet he wanted. Once he’d picked one, she plucked it off her arm and gave it to him before she did the same.
As she was placing Ilya’s bracelet on her wrist, she leaned back in. “I just wanted to say that I love you guys so much! I am so sorry you were outed without your consent but I have been following hockey since you did, and I am so happy for both of you!” She gestured to Shane, who was standing awkwardly off to the side.
“We appreciate that very much, Summer. Thank you.”
They took a few more steps before another person approached them, telling them how much their relationship meant to them and their boyfriend. Ilya introduced himself to the both of them, chatting while trading bracelets with them.
Katie stepped in again. “Any time you want to stop, let me know and we will lock security in and just head right to the tent.”
Ilya nodded but continued to say hello to each person who stopped to say hello or trade bracelets or congratulate them on their marriage and/or success. After the first few, Shane started looking a little less stressed and eventually Ilya put an arm around him, pulling him over once he saw his shoulders start to relax back into his body.
Shane was a little apprehensive at first, but eventually, with Ilya beside him, he got comfortable enough to trade a few bracelets and make small talk with the groups of people who were coming up to them as they very slowly walked through the crowd toward the V.I.P. area. Everyone that approached them said such incredibly kind things about their relationship, or their hockey camps. A few told stories about how they’d started watching hockey games with their family members and could now recite Shane and Ilya’s stats (and one or two did!). Eventually Shane couldn’t stop smiling, and even posed for a few photos which was typically one of his least favorite things to do in a large crowd.
It took another 20 minutes for them to finally get to the V.I.P. tent, but neither Shane nor Ilya had any desire to say no to chatting or trading bracelets with anyone who approached them along the way.
Once they’d reached the tent, they said goodbye to and thanked Katie and stepped into the V.I.P. area.
“That was kind of crazy,” Hayden commented once they had all settled in.
“I know right. I never thought…” Shane started, but stopped, struggling to find the right words.
“Thought what?” Ilya asked.
“I mean, I know we get recognized a lot in sports circles, especially when we are together. But this was…” he paused again. “Everyone was so…kind.” He said it like he was in awe. “Sometimes I notice people looking at us a certain way, or very specifically not looking at us at all. But this was…”
“Yes,” Ilya agreed. “These people are good people.”
“That’s kind of the whole thing with Taylor fans,” Jackie explained. “It’s a good community. I’ve had so many friends go to these shows and talk about how positive and inclusive the vibes are.”
“I don't think I've ever experienced anything like this,” Shane noted, looking around to see fans waving in their direction even now. He waved back.
Ilya was beaming as he watched Shane continuing to say hello, leaning over the barricade to hand out bracelets. Hayden stepped up next to him.
“Do not ruin this moment Pike,” Ilya warned.
“I was just going to say that I’ve never seen him look that relaxed around this many people. Ever. I saw you coax him out before. How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Know when he’s okay and not okay,” Hayden explained. “I thought I was pretty good at it, but you are, like, expert level.”
“I will avoid making a dirty joke about why I am at expert level, but I would like it on record that it would have been a good one.”
Hayden snorted.
“I knew this was a safe place. Shane is always worried people are going to judge or be cruel, because of how much that's happened to us before.”
Hayden nods because he’s heard those stories, and been pissed off on behalf of his best friend and his best friend’s husband.
“I was confident it wouldn’t happen here,” Ilya continued, eyes still fixed on Shane who was now showing off his bracelets to Jackie.
Hayden nodded, clapping a hand on Ilya’s shoulder. “You’re not half bad, Rozanov.”
“And you are like…maybe one quarter good, Pike.”
Suddenly a clock appeared on the stage screen and the lights went out, signifying the show was about to start.
Ilya walked up to Shane, who was still standing at the front, hands on the barricade. Ilya slipped his hands under Shane’s outstretched arms. It was still sometimes a strange feeling to be able to be affectionate in public, and Ilya usually had to make the first move. He pulled Shane back into him.
“Easy now,” Shane warned with a smirk, but craned his head for a kiss. “This is really nice, Ilya.”
“And the show hasn't even started yet!” Ilya said. “Get ready!”
The introduction to the concert started: the music, the lights, the dancers walking waving huge, brightly-colored fans. All around them people were jumping and screaming with anticipation. Shane tapped his fingers on Ilya in a pattern that he recognized to be more from excitement and anticipation than nervousness or unease. Ilya squeezed him a little tighter, their eyes both transfixed on the stage.
By the time the large fans were lowered and popped back up revealing Taylor in all her glittered bodysuit glory, both Shane and Ilya had huge smiles on their faces.
“Wow,” Shane said, clearly impressed.
And so was Ilya. He knew a lot about the thrill of performing in front of a crowd and feeding off that energy. It wasn’t like hockey exactly, but the fundamentals were similar. And just as much as he loved being in the spotlight, there was something magical about being in the audience sending that energy back to whoever was performing.
Cruel Summer
“Hey, I know this song!” Shane said. “It’s on the radio constantly!”
Jackie laughed.
“You’re going to say that at least 10 more times before the night is over.”
She stood next to Ilya, who was swaying and singing the words that he knew. “Thank you so much again for bringing us. This is incredible!” She leaned her head on Ilya’s shoulder, and he put an arm around her.
“You guys are our best friends,” he said loudly over the music in her ear. “I did not have a lot of people in my life before Shane and I’m so grateful for you and glad you are here with us!”
He pulled back and saw Jackie getting emotional.
“Okay, time to dance! But, also if you tell your husband I referred to him as a best friend, I will never invite you to anything cool ever again!”
She laughed and they continued to dance.
Lover
“This is my song for you,” Ilya said, as he stood behind Shane and wrapped his hand around his waist. Shane lifted up a hand to touch the side of Ilya’s face.
“Oh yeah, why is that?”
“It’s called ‘Lover’.”
“Gross, Ilya.” Shane replied, swaying along to the music. He took in the lights, the dancers, listening to Taylor sing the lyrics.
“My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my
Lover
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat
Lover”
Shane found himself overwhelmed by it all: the lyrics, the performance, swaying there in the tent with his husband’s arms around him, the people who waved and beamed at them as they walked by. It was emotionally overwhelming in a positive way that Shane was not used to at all, but was enjoying immensely.
Enchanted
“This one is also for you,” Ilya said, standing next to Shane and placing his arm his waist, moving so they were swaying to the rhythm of the song. "It has always reminded me of you."
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
Ilya sang along to the song, looking around at the purple lights of the crowd. He glanced over at Jackie and Hayden. They were standing side by side and Hayden’s arms were wrapped around Jackie’s waist. Her head was on his shoulder and Ilya could see Hayden singing along to the song. He knew every word.
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
Hayden glanced over then, catching Ilya watching them. He froze for a fraction of a second before tightening his grip around Jackie. Ilya smiled, a warm and genuine smile that made Hayden’s eyes widen in surprise. Ilya gave Hayden a nod of mutual understanding. Hayden returned it.
“Leave it to Taylor Swift,” Ilya thought, “to squash my feud with Hayden fucking Pike.”
REPUTATION ERA
**Ilya screamed at the top of his lungs and danced from Are You Ready for It? to Look What You Made Me Do. The videos will live on the internet forever and he did not give one single flying fuck.**
Marjorie
Ilya knew it was coming. He’d heard the song exactly two times: once on the album, once more at the first concert last year. Tonight would be the third.
He leaned into his husband.
“I’m going to need you to hold on to me for this one.”
Shane didn’t hesitate, didn’t question Ilya. He simply led Ilya back a little, away from the barricade so that they weren’t so exposed. He stood behind him, placing his arms around Ilya’s waist. They intertwined their arms and Shane rested his chin lightly on Ilya’s right shoulder.
And if I didn't know better
I'd think you were talking to me now
If I didn't know better
I'd think you were still around
It wasn’t until Shane felt drops falling onto his arms that he’d even realized Ilya was crying. Shane tightened his grip around him and sunk his chin deeper into Ilya’s shoulder, grounding him.
I should've asked you questions
I should've asked you how to be
Asked you to write it down for me
Should've kept every grocery store receipt
'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
Around them, the crowd was quieter than it had been so far. There were plenty of people still singing, but it was more reserved, it was reverent. A sea of cell phone flashlights lit up throughout the stadium, swaying along to the music. Shane found his own eyes wet with tears, as he felt himself taking in Ilya’s emotions. He looked around the stadium to find so many others caught up in the beauty and sadness of the song: girls wrapped in each other’s arms crying openly. Moms holding on to their daughters a little tighter as the song went on.
If I didn't know better
I'd think you were still around
I know better
But I still feel you all around
I know better
But you're still around
The song ended but Shane didn’t immediately loosen his grip on Ilya. Instead, Shane whispered “I love you’ in Ilya’s ear, wiped the tears from his husband’s face and stayed there just like that until Ilya was ready to let go.
1989 ERA
AKA Shane exclaims “I know this song” five times.
They cackled through all of “Bad Blood” after Hayden pointed out that he had definitely heard the song played during Metros vs. Raiders games over the years and no one had clocked it until this very moment.
Tortured Poets Department Era
Jackie and Ilya were inseparable during this era. They pushed their husbands to the side, gripping each other’s hands to watch every second of the era they’d never seen live before. Ilya made it a point to very exaggeratedly sing the first “I’m having his baby, no I’m not” directly to Shane, making him laugh and shake his head in a way that only Ilya could. Jackie got an even bigger laugh when she did the same to Hayden on the next chorus with that line.
While Jackie and Ilya were having the time of their lives as Tortured Poets, he stood back with Hayden watching their spouses, watching the show.”
“This is pretty wild,” Shane said, leaning over to Hayden. “For a long time I didn’t think any of this would be possible.”
“A concert of this magnitude? It’s unbelievable, right?” Hayden knocked his shoulder into Shane, throwing him off balance for a few short seconds.
“Having this. A life out in the open with Ilya. With you and Jackie. I dreamed about this!” He looked around. “I mean it looked a little different in my dreams…”
“More boring I bet,” Hayden chirped.
“Wow, that was very Ilya of you.”
“Oh please, PLEASE tell him that later,” Hayden implored. They laughed and went back to enjoying both the show and watching their spouses enjoying the show.
At the start of “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” Ilya yelled out “Fuck you, Roger Crowell!” and all four of them whooped.
The show went on through a set where Taylor sang a handful of songs on stage completely alone, which Shane thought looked like the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen in his life. Shane didn’t know the songs, but the crowd did and he was mesmerized by their singing along, their reverence for Taylor and Taylor alone.
Shane was having a fucking blast, letting loose in a way he hadn’t in a long time. He wasn’t going crazy like Jackie and Ilya; he didn’t think he had it in him to ever be quite that carefree. But he did feel…lighter and could say this was truly the most fun he’d had all year. He wasn’t sure he’d walk away a Swiftie necessarily, because he didn’t have the same affinity for music that Ilya had. It was mostly always just background noise to Shane. But he could certainly appreciate her talent and the spectacle of it and marveled at what the logistics of a tour of that scale must look like.
Halfway though the last set, Katie came back and let them know they’d started escorting people out of the show so they could avoid the mass exodus that would occur as soon as the show was over.
None of them really wanted to leave before the end, but none of them wanted to be stuck at the end of the show either, so they followed Katie out. Ilya and Shane held hands as they made their way back, waving back at anyone who stopped paying attention to the show to wave at them, though this time declining to stop so they could make a clean exit.
They got to the car quickly, and were able to slip out undetected and avoid any major traffic jams. Hayden was asleep on Jackie’s shoulders before they’d made it off stadium grounds.
“That was incredible,” Jackie said, staring out the car window, when they were almost back at the hotel.
“I really had fun,” Shane said, emphasizing the word like he was surprised to hear it come from his own lips. Ilya kissed the top of his head.
“I’m very glad I chose you to be part of this very special V.I.P. experience provided to me by my good friend, Taylor.”
Shane shook his head and pushed Ilya. “You wish.”
Hayden’s eyes opened and he lifted his head.
“Well, if there’s anyone who could figure out how to become Taylor Swift’s friend, it would be you, Rozanov,” he said and Ilya almost let the idea of shedding a tear enter his mind over the sweet comment from Hayden Pike.
The car reached the hotel and they got out, said goodnight and made loose plans for brunch in the morning before their flights back to Ottawa and Montreal.
Once back in their suite, the two men stripped off their sweaty clothes, took a long shower together that was definitely more so out of practicality than desire.
Once they were settled and snuggled in bed, Ilya was scrolling his phone.
“Are you watching other people’s videos of the concert we just were at?” Shane asked.
“Yes, I just wanted to see what we missed by leaving early.”
“I said we didn’t have to do that!”
“No I know, I wanted to. I am just curious.”
Ilya was scrolling, volume on low.
“She said it! She said "Karma is the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home to me!”
“Ok…” Shane said, not exactly understanding the significance. “For Travis?”
Ilya nodded. “It’s very romantic. She changed it from her last boyfriend who is in movies…sometimes, but looks like the ghost of sad Victorian child.”
Shane laughed. “You’re terrible.”
“I’m honest.” Ilya shrugged. “I would do that for you. It would go ‘Karma is the guy on the C’s, coming straight home to me!’”
“You do know that you are also on the team, right?” Shane pointed out.
“Way to ruin a romantic moment with logic, Hollander.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”