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Lack of Color

Notes:

Why did I make another part i d k

But I wanted there to be a hanaoi part ok sue me ;-;

Also, if you didn't read the first part, I suggest read the first part of the series because then some things will make more sense.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Hanamaki goes stumbling to the right, clutching his side as pain trickles up it.  It's not that painful, but it still shocked him. Though, he shouldn't be surprised because it's Matsukawa.

 

But then his shoulder goes colliding against something, and then there's a burst of color. He inhales sharply as a rainbow of colors invade his vision, but then he remembers the stranger. Reaching out, he grabs the jacket (blue, he thinks), and swaps them around. His back slams against the concrete, the stranger landing on his chest. He flinches in pain, but promptly ignores it as he realizes what just went down.

 

The both stare at each other in shock. Brown, is that what his hair is? And his jacket is blue? And-

 

“Hanamaki, are you okay?” Matukawa’s voice sounds miles away.

 

He continues to stare, but then he finally lifts his gaze. He can't help but grin. “My whole life, I only see black and white, and finally I can see some colors, and my best friend has black hair. I can’t believe this.”

 

He watches the understanding pass through Matsukawa’s face, eyes growing wide in shock. After that, though, he focuses back on the stranger.

 

He quickly scrambles to his feet, cheeks dusting pink. (Or is that red? Orange? Hanamaki doesn't know.)

 

He can't help but laugh, giddy smile on his lips as he points at the stranger. “Pink!” He guesses, because he's sure his teacher said when people blush, it's pink. “I can actually see it!”

 

A soft smile spreads across the guy’s face, and he takes a moment to study Hanamaki. “You have pink hair,” he ends up saying. “But it suits you.”

 

Hanamaki only laughs again, holding out his hand. “I’m Hanamaki Takahiro.”

 

His soulmate reaches out, shaking his hand. “Oikawa Tooru, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

They quickly exchange numbers, both too busy to completely stop and chat. They smile and say goodbye, turning to leave.

 

But as Oikawa walks away, Hanamaki frowns as the colors begin to fade as well.

 

And as Oikawa disappears around the corner, Hanamaki’s world turns back to black and white.

 

That’s...that’s not normal, is it?

 

“Makki, come on, you can gush about this when we reach your house.”

 

Hanamaki smiles tightly at Matsukawa, nodding his head. 

 


 

The next time he’s with Oikawa, he brings along a book.

 

“Is that a color book?” Oikawa questions as they slide into a booth at a cafe. Hanamaki smiles, opening it and turning it towards Oikawa. He can actually see all the basic colors on the pages now.

 

After glancing at the book, Oikawa looks up. “It happened for you as well?”

 

“The colors going away? Yeah.”

 

Oikawa nervously bites his lip, furrowing his eyebrows together. “It’s not normal, is it?”

 

Hanamaki hesitates. “No, I don’t think it is.”

 

To brighten up the situation a bit, Oikawa smiles a little, gently lifting his leg from under the table so that he can kick Hanamaki’s knee. “Then I guess we get an excuse to hang out all the time now, huh?”

 

Hanamaki lets a smile slip on his face. “That’s true, but I don’t think I’m going to tell Matsukawa. Or my parents. Or, anyone, really. I don’t want them to know that we have a...a defect mark, or whatever.”

 

Oikawa instantly frowns at the words, setting the drink he had gotten down. “I don’t think it’s defective, Makki. I think it’s...rare? Maybe? But, I think it’s kind of nice.” He pauses, smiling shyly as he looks away. “You literally bring color to my world, and I think that’s special...but yeah, uh, I don’t think I want to tell anyone, either.”

 

Hanamaki feels his face heat up, but he’s quick to reach over the tabletop to grab Oikawa’s hand. “Now that you say that, I’m kind of glad it’s like this. It does make it special.”

 

Oikawa laughs softly, reaching for Hanamaki’s book. The spend the rest of the date jotting down the names of the colors, and Oikawa snaps pictures of the pages once they finish.

 

When Hanamaki gets home and his world turns back to black and white, he plops down on his bed and begins to memorize the shades of the colors. If he isn’t going to tell anyone, then he’s going to need to play the act to the best of his ability.

 


 

Hanamaki looks over at Matsukawa, eyebrows furrowed together. He looks happy, really happy. And, well...Hanamaki is ecstatic for his friend.

 

But he can’t deny the jealousy running swiftly through his veins. Is this how Matsukawa felt towards him when he thought he had no soulmate?

 

Shaking his head, Hanamaki glances down at his textbook.

 

It’s not fair.

 

“Shut up,” he says aloud, startling himself. Matsukawa looks over in confusion, looking around the room.

 

“Are you hearing voices, Hana?”

 

Hanamaki scowls. “No, I’m not.”

 

Matsukawa raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

Hanamaki hesitates, drumming his fingers on his textbook. It’s not fair, his mind repeats, causing him to scowl even more.

 

Matsukawa gets to see color every day. Then, on top of that, when he’s with Iwaizumi, he gets even more color.

 

And Hanamaki is stuck in a black and white world. The only time he gets a glimpse of the greens and blues and reds is if he’s with Oikawa. It’s nice, yes, having Oikawa literally bring color into his life. But. But. It’d be kind of nice if he could see the colors all the time.

 

“Makki,” Matsukawa says again, setting his phone to the side, “you can talk to me, ya’know?”

 

And it's not fair of him to think this way. Matsukawa deserves to be happy. He deserves this, after years of thinking he'd never have it.

 

Hanamaki smiles at his best friend. “I’m fine, Mattsun.”

 


 

Hanamaki can see the colors fade into existence before Oikawa actually shows up. He’s quick to turn around, arms wrapping around a familiar waist as he digs his heels into the ground.

 

Oikawa places a chaste kiss to his lips, pulling away to rub their noses together. Hanamaki laughs a bit, blinking as he stares into Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes. They’re nice, and beautiful. He’s not sure if anyone could say ‘brown’ is their favorite color, but it is his favorite.  

 

“I missed you!” Oikawa chirps happily, shuffling away so that he can grab Hanamaki’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

 

“You guys see each other every day,” Iwaizumi sighs, standing beside Matsukawa. They’re holding hands, a bright purple staining the flesh there.

 

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss him! I also miss the colo--” Oikawa cuts himself off, biting his lip.

 

“Miss the what?” Matsukawa says in confusion.

 

“...nothing,” Oikawa mumbles, looking at the ground.

 


 

“Can you pass me the blue?” Matsukawa says, holding his hand out.

 

Hanamaki furrows his eyebrows in concentration, looking at the many different shades of gray. Which one is blue again? He always forgets.

 

He grabs what he thinks is the blue, praying he got it right. He hands it to Matsukawa, holding his breath.

 

“He said blue,” Iwaizumi comments from the other side of the table. Hanamaki chews on his bottom lip, studying the crayons. Why did Oikawa have to be absent the one day he actually needed him?

 

“Um, right,” Hanamaki laughs, picking up a random crayon. He gives it to Matsukawa.

 

“Makki, this is green.”

 

Hanamaki goes pale, sweat trickling down his back. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck--

 

He nervously grabs another one with shaky hands, placing it in Matsukawa’s awaiting palm.

 

“...This is purple. Are you okay?”

 

Hanamaki feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes, and he hits the table in frustration. If he was better at memorizing things, if he were better at remembering, then he wouldn’t look so stupid right now.

 

“Hanamaki?” Iwaizumi says, hesitantly reaching over the table. With concern swirling in his green eyes (because Hanamaki remembers, he knows what Iwaizumi looks like), he places a hand to his shoulder. “I thought you learned all the colors already? I know Oikawa’s been having trouble remembering some of them, but--”

 

“I can’t see them,” he chokes out.

 

Both Matsukawa and Iwaizumi blink in confusion.

 

“What?”

 

I can’t see them,” he repeats, taking a shaky breath. “When Oikawa i-isn’t around, I can’t see colors.”

 

“What? But you've never mentioned it before,” Matsukawa says, setting down the crayons he’s holding.

 

Hanamaki sniffs pathetically, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “We agreed not to tell anyone.”

 

“We?” Iwaizumi echoes in confusion.

 

“Oikawa is the same, we...we didn’t...want to seem strange that it’s like this, or...I don’t know...we were scared to tell anyone…” He whispers too quietly, and he’s not sure if they heard him, but when he looks up and sees the shocks on their faces, he feels a new wave of tears threaten to fall.

 

He turns around, making a move to leave, when a hand wraps around his upper arm.

 

“It’s not strange,” Matsukawa says, gently tugging Hanamaki back. “I don’t think it’s weird, or anything like that. I...wow, I’ve been gloating about the whole color thing for so long, I….I’m an asshole, woah, why didn’t you tell me? I’m sorry.”

 

Hanamaki sniffs again, glancing at Iwaizumi before staring at the floor. “You finally got your soulmate after years of thinking you’d never have one, you deserve the chance to gloat and be happy about it. It’s stupid of me to be upset over this.”

 

Iwaizumi then steps forward, gently pulling Hanamaki into a hug. “It’s not stupid, idiot.”

 

Hanamaki cracks a smile, slowly hugging him back. “I don’t think it works if you call me an idiot right after saying it’s not stupid.”

 

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi snaps, but the smile in his voice is obvious.

 

He feels Matsukawa join in on the small group hug, and if anything, it makes Hanamaki want to cry even more.

 

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys,” he says.

 

They both tighten their grip on him. “We understand,” Matsukawa whispers in his ear.

 


 

 

Oikawa squints at the TV. He watches the movie with wide eyes, trying to distinguish the different shades of gray. No matter how many times he goes over the sheet, he can't seem to get the hang of it.

 

“It's red,” Iwaizumi says without looking away from the movie. Oikawa jumps, eyes wide as he turns to his friend.

 

“W-what?”

 

“The barn is red, and the house is white and blue.” He says it calmly, a smile playing at his lips.

 

“But, why did you-- I can see them-- I--”

 

Iwaizumi finally tears his eyes away from the show, sighing softly. “Hanamaki told us.”

 

Oikawa tangles his fingers into the fabric of the blanket on his lap, his face going pale. He inhales in surprise, closing his eyes as he waits for Iwaizumi to tell him that it’s weird, that it’s not normal, that it’s--

 

“I looked it up,” Iwaizumi says instead, smiling softly as Oikawa’s eyes open in shock. “It’s not weird, or anything. It’s rare, yeah, but you’re not the only one’s who have had this, so it’s okay.”

 

Oikawa laughs at that, looking down at his lap. He wants to tell him that he’s wrong, because it's not okay. He hates not being able to see how things truly are, he hates only seeing black and white and gray. He thought he was okay with just seeing colors when Hanamaki is around, but he knows he only says that to make them both feel better about the situation. He knows they both hate it.

 

He’s glad Hanamaki is his soulmate, because he really does like Hanamaki. But he can’t help but wish that they had something much simpler, like a tattoo or maybe even a timer.

 

But no, his mind laughs, you both got stuck in a boring world.

 

Oikawa frowns, nervously picking at a stray string in the blanket. The movie flashes on, playing as he runs his thoughts through his head.

 

...But the world isn’t boring. Not when I’m with Hanamaki.

 

“The sky is a light blue, like the color of your favorite hoodie,” Iwaizumi comments, pointing towards the sky on the tv. Oikawa blinks, and he stubbornly keeps his tears at bay.

 

It’s not boring when I have Iwa-chan, either.

 

He then thinks of Matsukawa, and he remembers every good thing Hanamaki has said about him. All the good things Iwaizumi say as well.

 

Mattsun makes it fun, too.

 

I don’t need color, as long as I have them.

 

It’s a comforting thought, and he accepts it as he focuses back on the movie. “What color is the car?”

 

Iwaizumi smiles again, clearing his throat. “It’s silver, but like a shiny silver.”

 

“And the mailbox?”

 


 

Oikawa smiles as the gray fades to green. He looks up from his book, setting it on the grass. Hanamaki plops down beside him, knocking their shoulders together.

 

“Hey, nerd.”

 

Oikawa rolls his eyes, and instead of saying anything, he grabs Hanamaki’s hand, tangling their fingers together. He hums as he picks his book back up, leaning against the tree.

 

“Are you really going to spend all of lunch reading?” Hanamaki asks, but the tone of his voice shows that he doesn’t really mind.

 

“Yup, but I want you to stay. It’s always better when you’re by my side.”

 

Hanamaki laughs nervously at that, awkwardly scratching his cheek. He settles against the tree, resting his head on Oikawa’s shoulder as he brings their clasped hands up to his face.

 

As Oikawa continues to read, Hanamaki takes the time to study their hands. Oikawa is pale, but not as pale as him. The nail polish he has on is seijou colored, and it oddly suits him.

 

Sighing, Hanamaki relaxes against Oikawa. He can’t help but smile softly as he glances at Oikawa, watching his chocolate brown eyes scan the pages.

 

“You’re the only thing in this world that I haven’t seen in black and white,” he suddenly blurts out, causing Oikawa to look up in surprise. A shy smile spreads across his face, and he leans down to plant a kiss to Hanamaki’s cheek.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

 

Hanamaki hums, leaning forward to slide their lips together. He gently tugs his hand away from Oikawa's, moving to place it on Oikawa’s cheek. He then shifts his position, moving so that he can crawl into his lap. Oikawa laughs into the kiss, the book slipping away and tumbling onto the grass as he places his own hands on Hanamaki’s shoulders.


When they pull away some time later, a silly grin is plastered to Hanamaki’s face. “No, it’s not bad at all.”

Notes:

Tumblr: seijouho

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