Work Text:
Into the Pot
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION
The night started off as any other for Toesalie, the dih wielding, homophobic, queer kid. Toesalie climbed into their alpha wolf bed and prayed to the gods of something to make sure they never became their worst fear. GAY PEOPLE.
Toesalie was 6 '7 tall,super buff and although had blue hair WAS NOT a blue haired liberal. They were actually part of MAGA and supported facism. Toesalie looked like their alter ego. Papa Andy. But Toesalie wasn't as cool as Papa Andy and he was actually 12 '4, even MORE buff, super woke, and he had like really soft fluffy hair and was super handsome and super smart and had ball knowledge on cool stuff. He came around after Toesalie accidentally merged part of their fingernail with a random gold coin they found and he just sorta flew out. But they looked basically the same just Papa Andy was Papa Andy.
CHAPTER 2: SCARY
As Toesalie drifted off to sleep, they began to feel a sense of unease. Something felt… ginger… Ginger people? SCARY. But Toesalie wasn't afraid due to their alpha instincts (something else Papa Andy has). Suddenly a rainbow landed on Toesalie, causing a lot of screaming due to the homosexualness of it, the walls began to shake, and suddenly a huge pot filled with gold crashed through the wall and landed at the foot of Toesalies bed. After screaming manlyly Toesalie looked inside and saw some weird little creature. It was like 3 feet tall, and was mostly bald apart from a little goatee and a thick singular hair in the middle of its head. It was dressed in a green leprechaun suit, but the worst part… WAS THAT IT WAS GINGER.
“What's crackalackin?” asked Pepper P. Pumpernickel, the ginger. “ILL CRACK YOU” Toesalie threatened and whipped it out. But it wasn't there. PEPPER HAD IT. “Uh uh uh. Bad boy. You lose peenar privileges.” Someone started screaming from another room. It was Papa Andy.
“WE SHARED A PEENAR YOU MONSTER. ILL KILL YOU.” Andy really liked his peenar. “But I like old man yaoi and I know peak just like you.” Pepper revealed ELITE ball knowledge about old men. “Oh well that's ok you're really cool even if you are ginger. Bring it in, snugglebugs!”
Toesalie and Pepper immediately fell in love. And Toesalie climbed into the pot to be taken back to dwarfland for the wedding. As they left. Papa Andy saw something crawling out of the pot. It was really tall and had really blue eyes. “I'm Grayson,” said Grayson. It was made from Pepper P. Pumpernickel and Toesalies T. Toegobbler Aura.
As Pepper P Pumpernickel and Toesalie arrived in Dwarfland, flying pocket broccoli landed in the pot and exploded which made them fall. “Owie.” said Pepper P Pumpernickel. They looked up and saw a tall figure looming over them. It was evil Zoe. “So, I don't know if you know this, but this one time like 13 years ago, for like 2 seconds. This liberal and MAGA held hands and it made us all die. We can't have that happen with you guys. So we are stopping the wedding.” A bunch of people came over and helped shove Pepper P Pumpernickel into a cage. The others helped Toesalie up. “It's ok.” Said Evil Hogan Larris. “We will stop the evil ginger from touching you, and deport it back to gingerland.” With that, Evil Ethan Hobs stepped out and took Pepper away to go back to gingerland :(.
While Pepper was being taken away. Toesalie became one direction and started to sing. Bursting the eardrums of every single bad evil guy there was.
“AHH” screamed Evil Hogan Larris.
“Hey guys. Its Andy, "says Andy. “So basically this is over because they broke up. So no smut for anyone.” Andrew sneezes, changing the plot of the story to end it.
Ethan and Cordildo started making out obscuring everyone else from view and also making loud noises.
THE END