Work Text:
When the sound of the doorbell rang throughout the brownstone, Maura froze in the middle of her living room, her hands balled into such tight fists her knuckles had turned pale. “Okay,” she whispered to herself, inhaling slowly. “You’re the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. You perform autopsies and solve murders. You can handle a dinner.”
Standing behind her was her best friend, her hands on her back, rubbing gently. Normally Maura shied away from physical contact with people but she always welcomed it from Jane.
Angela, who was at the stove stirring sauce, turned her head when she head Maura’s little pep talk. “Honey, relax. It’s just a dinner with your mom.”
Maura somehow managed to give her a small but very tight smile, trying not to be rude when she knew Angela was only trying to comfort her. “It is not just dinner, Angela.”
Jane sighed and dropped her hands from Maura’s back so she could walk around and face her. “Hey,” she said, her voice soft in that way it only ever became for this woman. “We’re right here for you tonight. It’ll be good. The house is immaculate, the dinner will be delicious, and you look gorgeous.”
Maura looked into her eyes and nodded, partially relieved if only for half a second before the bell rang again.
Angela quickly wiped her hands and rushed to the door. “I’ll get it!”
Maura’s posture straightened immediately, every inch of her becoming controlled and formal, her eyes losing a bit of shine. Jane noticed. She always noticed. And it made her sad. The Maura she knew wasn’t this rigid and closed off anymore, hadn’t been for a very long time, but one visit from her mother had her back to her very tense ways it seemed.
Angela opened the front door with a big smile. “Hi! You must be Constance!”
Standing in the doorway was Constance Isles, elegant and composed, dressed in a dark tailored dress, much like what Maura would wear. She carried herself like someone who belonged in the White House, not a family dinner. “Yes,” Constance said calmly, her eyes betraying her confusion as to who this loud woman was that answered her daughter’s front door.
Angela ushered her in and closed the door behind her. “Come on in! We’re just finishing up. Just need to put dinner on plates and we can eat!”
Maura turned from Jane and watched as her mother walked into her home for the very first time. When she reached the living room, Maura stepped forward, a polite smile on her lips. It was like she was greeting an old acquaintance instead of her mom. “Hello, mother.”
Constance gave her a brief nod instead of a hug and Jane’s jaw tightened slightly. “Maura. You look very well.”
Maura smiled softly, blushing a bit. She was so desperate for her mother’s approval that even this lukewarm greeting made her heart skip a beat. It was sad really. “Thank you. Mother, this is Angela Rizzoli. She’s my best friend’s mother and kindly offered to help with dinner tonight,” she said as she gestured to Angela who waved in turn.
Constance smiled a tiny bit and nodded.
Maura then turned and grabbed Jane by the arm, harder than usual, clearly stressed and nervous, and yanked her over, nearly pulling her arm out of its socket. Jane winced but covered it up quickly with a smile and rushed to Maura’s side. “And this is my best friend, Jane Rizzoli. She’s a detective here in Boston.”
Constance looked at Jane but then lingered on Maura’s hand still on her arm, the clinical look made Maura instantly drop all contact with Jane, keeping her hands to herself now. “Detective Rizzoli.”
Jane gave a short nod, not impressed by this woman in the slightest or with the way she made her own daughter feel uncomfortable. “Mrs. Isles. Pleasure,” she said in a tone that made it clear this was anything but.
Angela cleared her throat before she moved back towards the kitchen. “Let me go get dinner!”
Maura tried not to fidget and put on her best smile as she walked with her mother into the dining area, watching as her mother looked around with a sharp eye. Constance glanced towards the table that Maura had spent hours setting with great meticulous precision and care. “It’s very… organized.”
Jane, who had made her way into the dining room as well, stood behind Maura, and muttered quietly, “Yes, very organized indeed,” she said in a slightly snooty tone, one that Maura caught instantly and turned to give Jane a warning look.
Jane gave her a small sheepish smile and batted her eyes innocently. She remembered she had promised to be on her very best behavior tonight but that was before she actually met Constance. She now realized that was an impossible promise to keep.
Once dinner had been served, Angela was the only one really trying to keep the conversation going. God bless her. “So your installation is at the museum a couple blocks down from here, right?”
“Yes,” Constance replied. “It opens tomorrow.”
“That must be exciting,” Angela said warmly.
Constance gave her a polite smile and nodded once. “It’s work.”
Maura nodded politely right along with her mother, like she had been so conditioned to mimic her, and Jane noticed. Maura just wanted her mother’s approval so badly and it angered Jane to no end that Constance either couldn’t see that or didn’t care. Jane stabbed a piece of pasta, not really all that hungry but trying to eat for Maura’s sake. “So you’re staying with Maura while you’re in town?” Jane was trying to be nice, really she was. She would do anything for Maura and she was trying to engage in conversation with her mother. Who was like talking to a wall. Or a toilet seat.
Maura’s eyes flicked to her mother with a quiet hope at Jane’s words.
Constance shook her head. “I’ve already booked a room at a hotel.”
Jane paused mid-bite, her fork hovering in the air, pasta in her mouth as her eyes darted from Constance to Maura, watching as Maura’s shoulders went stiff.
Angela blinked in surprise. “Oh! But Maura has plenty of space-”
“It’s unnecessary,” Constance said simply.
The room went quiet in that moment. Painfully, awkwardly quiet.
Jane swallowed her food slowly and kept her eyes on Maura, watching as she lowered her head, her sad gaze fixed on her plate, a glassy shimmer to her eyes now.
That was it.
Jane leaned back in her chair slightly, setting her fork down with a clank as irritation simmered right below the surface, a very sarcastic Rizzoli smile on her lips.
“Jane…” Angela said in a warning tone but kept her smile on her lips. She knew her daughter well, knew how much she adored Maura and couldn’t stand to see her hurt and that she was about to be either snarky or rude to Constance.
Jane, ignoring her mother, fixed Constance with a hateful look. “So you flew all the way here, let Maura get everything ready expecting you to stay with her, but you’re going to a hotel? Seems kinda weird not to stay with your own daughter, don’t ya think?”
Maura’s foot immediately nudged Jane’s hard under the table, a silent beg of ‘please stop’, and Jane relented…reluctantly…but if she couldn’t be hateful towards Constance than she no longer had much she could say this evening so she simply shook her head and picked her fork back up, deciding just to eat to keep her mouth busy.
Constance looked at Jane calmly. “I prefer the privacy of a hotel room. Besides, my daughter is busy and shouldn’t have to trouble herself with entertaining me.”
Jane raised her eyebrows briefly and lowered them just as fast, a tiny, humorless, somewhat disgusted smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she chewed her pasta. If only she could say what she was thinking.
Angela quickly jumped in, knowing good and well when her daughter was about to snap. That little outburst just now had been actually quite mild for Jane. “Well! You’re always welcome here too, I’m sure. Maura was so excited about this visit.”
“Thank you,” Constance replied politely but didn’t say anything about Maura’s excitement to see her.
Dinner continued, but the mood in the room only grew colder and more tension filled after that, a lot of the dinner going on in silence. Constance only broke the silence at one point and asked Maura about work in the most detached, almost academic way. “And how many cases are you handling currently?”
“Approximately twenty-seven this month,” Maura replied, a nervous edge to her voice.
Constance hummed and nodded once. “Efficient.”
That was it. That was all.
*
When dinner thankfully came to an end, Constance stood and picked up her coat and purse, making her way towards the front door. There was no staying for coffee and dessert, no after dinner conversation, no offer to help with dishes. It was like she couldn’t run away fast enough. “I should really be returning to my hotel. I have preparations tomorrow.”
Maura rose immediately. “Of course, mother.”
Angela frowned slightly and glanced at the clock in the kitchen. The woman had only been here for fifty-two minutes. Although, Angela was sure if she asked Jane, she would have said fifty-two days and honestly, Angela would have agreed. This had been painful. “Already?”
Constance nodded. “Thank you for dinner,” she said as she walked around and gave Maura a brief, almost formal hug. Jane looked over and watched the interaction and noticed how Maura leaned into the hug significantly more than her mother did, how she kept her arms around her for longer. She hadn’t wanted it to end.
“Good night, Maura. I’ll show myself out,” Constance said before she gave Jane a small nod and then just like that, she left.
Silence filled the house immediately and it was heavy. Angela sighed softly. “Well… I’ll start the dishes,” she said as she stood and gave Maura’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading into the kitchen, clearly wanting to give Jane some time alone with Maura. If there was one person in the world who could comfort her right now, it was Jane.
Maura smiled slightly at Angela in thanks before she moved to the living room and simply stood there, very still, not even sitting.
Jane hesitated for a beat, collecting her thoughts and what she could possibly say or do in this moment before she stood and walked over to Maura. “Hey.”
Maura shook her head slightly, swallowing hard. “It’s fine.”
Jane frowned as she came up right beside her but didn’t touch her, just stood with her, there for her, assessing what the situation would call for. “Maura…”
Maura’s composure cracked just enough for Jane to see it when she said her name, her chest moving up and down just a little faster than normal. She licked her lips before she turned her head to look at Jane. “She has always been… reserved.”
Jane scoffed quietly. “Yeah. I guess that is one word for it.”
Maura looked down at her hands, twisting her rings. “Thought perhaps this visit might be different.”
Jane felt something twist painfully in her chest and she stepped closer. “Hey,” she whispered, her voice soft. “You did nothing wrong.”
Maura glanced over at her and gave her a faint smile. “In my life? That’s statistically unlikely.”
Jane rolled her eyes gently and nudged her shoulder. “You’re impossible.”
When Maura looked at her now, there was something fragile in her expression, her hazel eyes cloudy, and Jane hated that look. If she could have marched down to that hotel and yelled at Constance, she would have. Instead she focused on Maura and reached out slowly, gently rubbing her arm. “You deserve better than that.”
Maura’s eyes softened and just for a moment, they stood closer than either of them usually allowed. Jane noticed how Maura’s eyes lingered on hers, their eye contact prolonged, neither of them breaking it or pulling away until Angela clattered some dishes in the kitchen.
Reality returned hard and fast and Jane blinked, clearing her throat as she did. “C’mon,” she said as she dropped her hand from her arm. “Let’s get dessert.”
Maura tilted her head, the warmth she felt from Jane’s hand on her arm and the closeness they just shared had gone and she missed it but she was good at hiding what she wanted and not asking for much. “There is no dessert.”
Jane smirked. “Oh, there’s always dessert. You just need to know where to look,” she said as she playfully pulled out a pack of gum from her pocket and offered a stick to Maura and for the first time all night, Maura laughed softly and Jane thought maybe if she could keep Maura laughing, everything would be okay. But deep down she knew it wouldn’t be because the only thing Maura really wanted tonight was a mother who would have stayed. Who would have hugged her, kissed her cheek, wanted to know every little detail she had missed since they last saw each other and Jane hated that she couldn’t give her that.
Later that night after the dishes had been washed, dried, and put away, Angela retired to the guest house to get some sleep, leaving Jane and Maura alone but not before she gave Maura a long, tight, motherly hug that Maura absolutely soaked up like a sponge.
Jane padded into the kitchen in socked feet, opening the freezer where she had secretly stashed some ice cream earlier when Maura had been getting dressed. She grabbed two spoons and the carton before heading toward the living room.
Maura sat on the couch, posture perfectly straight despite the late hour and a glass of red wine sitting untouched in her hand.
Jane sat gently beside her, took the wine glass from her hand and set it on the coffee table knowing that alcohol was not what was needed right now. She held out the carton for her to read the label and smiled a bit. “Surpriiiiise,” she whispered with a soft, quiet excitement. “Told ya there is always dessert, babe. You should know by now I’ll never let you down,” she said with a smile.
Maura looked at the carton, her lips twitching into a faint smile when she saw her holding what had become her favorite ice cream since Jane had introduced her to it last year. Her posture loosened up and she scooted closer to Jane, their thighs pressed together now. “Chocolate peanut butter. That’s medical-grade comfort. Hopefully this heals emotional wounds.”
Jane sighed sadly and handed her a spoon. “It usually does.”
They ate in silence for a minute or two, Jane sneaking glances at her, her heart hurting when Maura just simply stared straight ahead, slowly eating little spoonfuls of ice cream.
After a moment, Jane nudged her gently with her shoulder. “You don’t have to pretend with me, ya know?”
Maura inhaled slowly but didn’t look at her. “I’m not pretending.”
Jane gave her a look. “Maura Isles, I swear to god…”
Maura sighed and looked down at the ice cream carton, putting her spoon in it and shrugging a bit, still refusing to look at Jane. “She’s always been like that, Jane. Controlled. Distant.”
Jane frowned. “Okay, but that doesn’t make it right.”
Maura gave a small, thoughtful nod. “When I was a child, I believed that if I achieved enough, if I was exceptional enough, she might one day look at me differently.”
Jane felt her chest tighten at that admission, already knowing the answer to her next question. “And did she?”
Maura shook her head. “No.”
Jane set the ice cream down on the coffee table, along with their spoons so she could really focus on Maura. She turned a bit towards her and put her hand on her thigh. “That’s her loss.”
Maura finally looked at her. “You say that with great certainty.”
“Because it’s obvious,” Jane said with a scoff. “You’re an amazing woman. You help people every single day. You’re kind and caring. You’re a literal certified genius and you’re-”
Maura was listening intently but when Jane suddenly stopped herself, she tilted her head. “I’m what?”
Jane rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.
“You’re… just you.”
Maura watched her carefully, her eyebrows ceasing a bit. “That is not a descriptive adjective.”
Jane huffed. “You know what I mean. You’re just…you’re my Maura.
Jane said her name with the most affectionate tone, love deep in her eyes and a small smile appeared on Maura’s lips because even with the lack of adjectives, she did in fact understand exactly what Jane was trying to convey. Maura might have had to question how her mom felt but she never had to with Jane. She knew Jane adored her. She knew she had endeared herself to Jane. She knew Jane loved her. As quickly as her smile formed it faded again, though. “Well, your Maura can’t even get her mother to stay with her when she visits.”
Jane’s jaw tightened for what felt like the hundredth time that night. “I noticed. You could’ve asked her to stay, right?”
Maura shook her head immediately. “No.”
Jane frowned in confusion. “Why not?”
Maura’s voice was calm but fragile all at once as she looked into Jane’s eyes. “Because if she would have said no after I asked,” she paused and collected herself, trying not to cry. “My heart would have been broken. At least this way I can always pretend that if I would have just asked, she would have stayed.”
Maura Isles, the woman who could stand over a corpse without flinching, who spoke five languages fluently, who traveled the world to war torn countries to help sick kids, who intimidated over half the Boston police department without even trying to, looked so small and fragile in this moment, like anything might break her right now, and it was so heartbreaking for Jane to see.
Jane shifted closer without thinking. “You know something?”
“What?”
“My mom likes you more than me.”
Maura blinked before she huffed out a tiny laugh at Jane’s unexpected comment. “That is statistically improbable.”
Jane snorted and shook her head. “She literally invites you for Sunday dinner more than me and calls you the perfect daughter. She calls me a menace.”
Maura laughed at those words, a real one, and Jane smiled, relieved. “You’ve got people, Maura,” she said more softly. “People who care about you.”
“You in particular,” Maura said softly after a moment of searching Jane’s eyes.
Jane suddenly became very aware of how close they were sitting. “Yeah.”
“Why do you care so much, Jane?”
The question hung between them and all Jane could do was file through all the reasons she cared about her in her head. Because Maura mattered more to Jane than anyone, including herself. Because seeing her hurt made Jane want to break something. Because she was starting to fall for her.
After a moment she cleared her throat and finally answered. “You’re my best friend and I love ya,” Jane said with a tender smile. “Besides,” she added, trying to lighten the mood, “if anyone gives you trouble, I can arrest them and you and I both know how much I love to do that. It’s almost like a hobby of mine or something.”
Maura raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “You cannot arrest my mother for emotional detachment.”
Jane thought about it for a moment and hummed. “Pretty sure I could find a statute.”
Maura smiled more, this one reaching her eyes. “I love you too, Jane.”
They stayed there a long while, shoulders and legs and feet all touching, sharing the ice cream again in comfortable silence.
Neither of them moved away but neither of them said what they were both starting to realize. But for the first time that night, Maura didn’t feel quite so alone and Jane quietly promised herself she’d never let her be again.
*
The gallery was quiet and elegant. White walls. Spotlights. Abstract sculptures arranged with careful intention. And then there was Jane Rizzoli.
Jane stood awkwardly beside Maura, hands shoved in her pockets, still in her work clothes. Maura had asked her earlier in the day to accompany her to her mother’s installation and as much as that was the last thing she ever wanted to do, she would always show up for Maura so she agreed.
“Feel like I’m going to accidentally break something worth my entire salary,” Jane muttered, leaning in closer to Maura.
Maura gave a faint smile and shook her head. “Just don’t touch anything.”
Jane leaned even closer and whispered through her teeth. “That instruction was unclear because I’ve already touched stuff.”
Maura glanced at her, the tension in her shoulders easing just a little as she let out a small laugh, Jane never failing to get that reaction out of her.
Across the gallery, Constance Isles was speaking to a small group of patrons, calm and composed. Jane clocked her and locked in on her like a hawk. Maura followed her gaze and sighed as she watched her mother discussing one of the art pieces. “She’s very talented,” Maura said quietly.
Jane shrugged. “Yeah. I just…love hanging trash so much,” she said as she gestured to a big display of plastic water bottles.
Maura gave Jane a look. “You do not sound impressed.”
“Oh, I’m impressed alright,” Jane said before she glanced at Constance again. “Just not by everything here.”
Before Maura could respond, she shifted slightly. In a rush to get ready and then drag Jane out of the BPD office, Maura didn’t have time to pee for hours and that bodily function was catching up with her now. “I’m going to use the restroom. Please behave.”
Jane nodded once, completely serious. “Okay. I’ll guard the expensive stuff.”
Maura paused and gave her an amused look, rolling her eyes before she pinched her arm.
Jane chuckled as she slapped Maura’s hand away and then gently pushed her in the direction of the bathrooms. She waited until she disappeared and then went on the move, smile dropped from her lips, as she walked straight towards Constance.
Constance had just finished speaking with some of the guests and noticed Jane approaching. “Detective Rizzoli.”
Jane crossed her arms. There was no point in being polite. This woman knew she didn’t like her. “We need to talk.”
Constance studied her calmly. “About?”
Jane frowned. Was this woman really that out of touch. “Maura.”
Constance’s expression barely changed and that pissed Jane off even more. She leaned slightly closer, lowering her voice. “You know she’s been hoping this visit would be different.”
Constance tilted her head slightly. “In what way?”
Jane stared at her blankly, blinking once in disbelief. “Seriously?”
Constance didn’t respond and Jane had to inhale and exhale deeply, calling to mind the one singular sensitivity training she had been to, so she did not yell in this very fancy building with all these fancy guests. “She’s been waiting her whole life for you to look at her like she matters.”
Constance’s eyes actually flickered at those words, finally some emotion at the surface. “She knows she matters to me.”
Jane shook her head. “Not really the signals you’re sending. She only thinks she matters to you. She doesn’t know for a fact. There’s a difference.”
Constance remained silent but looked increasingly uneasy.
Jane gestured slightly toward the hallway where Maura had gone. “You don’t see her when you’re not around. She pretends it doesn’t bother her. She rationalizes everything. She turns it into some psychological explanation but she’s still hoping you’ll just say it.”
“Say what?” Constance asked quietly.
Jane stared at her for a moment, her tone and eyes softening just a bit. Maybe she could get through to this woman. “That you love her.”
The words hung in the air and Constance looked away briefly toward one of the sculptures. “She is aware of that.”
Jane shook her head, frustrated again. “No. That’s the problem. You think she can analyze your actions and figure it out and that’s enough but Maura’s not just a brain in a lab coat. She needs to hear it.”
Silence stretched between them for a moment before Constance finally spoke. “You care about her deeply.”
Jane nodded without hesitation. “Yeah. She’s my best friend.”
Constance watched her carefully. “That is not what I meant.”
Jane stiffened, her heart skipping a beat. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go. This was about Constance withholding her feelings towards Maura, not Jane.
Constance’s voice remained calm, observational, surprisingly not judgmental. “You are unusually protective of her emotional well-being.”
Jane shrugged awkwardly. “I’m a cop. Kind of in my job description to serve and protect.”
Constance tilted her head and smiled at Jane just a bit for the first time. “And yet your concern appears to be very personal.”
Jane shook her head as she felt a heat rise in her face. “You’re reading too much into it.”
Constance didn’t look convinced. “In my experience, people only advocate so strongly for another’s heart when that heart matters greatly to them.”
Jane opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she had nothing so she closed it.
Constance continued, almost gently now. “You want her to feel loved. I do love her and I will tell her… but you clearly love her very deeply too.”
“Whoa. Okay,” Jane rubbed the back of her neck as she backed up a bit. “That’s not-”
Constance didn’t interrupt as Jane tried to find the right words, she just simply watched.
After a moment, Jane exhaled and dropped her hands to her sides, looking at Constance with a slight vulnerability, giving up trying to minimize her feelings. “She’s important to me. Can we just leave it at that for now?”
Constance’s expression softened even more and she nodded. “That is evident. And for what it is worth,” Constance added, “you appear to be important to her as well. She speaks of you often.”
Jane looked down briefly, her cheeks hot. “Well I’m sure she does, we work together often.”
“Yes,” Constance said softly. “But that is not why she talks about you. Trust me. Your work stories are only half of what she says about you.”
Jane didn’t know what to say to that and she didn’t have time to unpack it and think about it either before the sound of heels started to echo down the hallway, signaling Maura’s return.
She walked up to her mother and Jane and paused when she noticed them both standing awkwardly. “Did I miss something?”
Jane immediately shook her head. “Nope.”
Constance looked at her daughter for a moment, something thoughtful in her expression. “Not at all, darling.”
During the rest of the installation, Jane hung back and gave Maura space to be with her mom, Constance actually taking to heart what Jane said and keeping Maura close, touching her back, holding her hand, introducing her to her friends like a proud mother. Jane couldn’t help but smile softly, hoping that this would be the start of a beautiful mother daughter relationship.
A couple hours later, the museum had mostly emptied out as staff moved quietly through the gallery packing up wine glasses and programs. Jane stood near the entrance scrolling through her phone, pretending to read messages, but she was really waiting for Maura. She came here with her, she wouldn’t leave without her.
Maura stood with her mother near one of the sculptures and Jane tried not to stare, she really did. She also told herself she wasn’t eavesdropping and that she was just…nearby. Very nearby.
Maura clasped her hands in front of her, still polite as ever around her mother but a bit more comfortable now. Happier. “Your installation was very well received.”
“Thank you, darling,” Constance said with a warmth in her voice. She studied one of her sculptures for a moment before she looked at Maura. “I am so pleased you attended.”
Maura looked surprised but smiled brightly, nodding her head. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”
A small silence followed and even though Maura wanted to continue talking with her mother, this new warmth she had for her making Maura feel amazing, she knew it was late and her escort over in the corner trying to hide by the doorway had already been here longer than Maura could have ever asked her to be. “Jane is waiting for me, so I should-”
“Maura.”
Maura instantly stopped talking and looked intently at her. “Yes?”
Constance looked slightly uncomfortable, something Maura had almost never seen before. “Earlier today I had a conversation with Detective Rizzoli.”
Maura’s brow furrowed. “You did?”
Jane stiffened near the doorway, putting her phone in her pocket and leaning closer, actually eavesdropping now. “Oh no…” she breathed.
Constance continued calmly. “She expressed concern regarding my communication with you.”
Maura blinked but not entirely in surprise. It really would have been silly of her to assume Jane wouldn’t have said something to her mother. “Of course,” she said with a hint of a smile but her tone was steady.
Jane quietly panicked. Great. Fantastic. She was dead. Maura was going to kill her. She was going to slice her up with a scalpel and dispose of her body.
Constance folded her hands behind her back. “She believes I do not adequately express my feelings about you.”
Maura sighed and shook her head. “You do not need to-”
“I do,” Constance said immediately, looking at her daughter, wondering how she could have been so blind. “I have always believed actions communicate more effectively than words. I thought if I gave you all the comforts in life you would have known how much I love you. I did not realize until recently that my…emotional restraint may have caused you distress.”
Maura’s composure wavered, tears forming in her eyes and Constance smiled apologetically and cupped her daughter’s cheek. “You should not have to infer how I feel about you. I love you, Maura. Very much.”
Jane’s eyes went wide for a second before she smiled brightly. She squeezed her eyes shut and wiggled a bit in place, very excited.
Maura blinked rapidly, clearly stunned, a few tears leaking from her eyes. “You do?”
Constance looked heartbroken because she knew her daughter doubting that was all her fault. “Of course I do, darling. I always have and I always will. No matter what.”
Maura let out a quiet breath that sounded like it had been trapped in her chest for decades. “I always assumed you did but….”
“But you were uncertain,” Constance finished for her when she stopped, saying the words Maura didn’t want to say out loud.
Maura hesitated for a beat before she nodded slightly. “Yes.”
Constance nodded, her own eyes shedding a few tears. “That was not my intention, my love.”
Maura sniffled a bit before she smiled and hugged her mother tightly, pleased beyond words when she hugged her back even tighter, leaning into each other. “I love you, mom.”
“I love you too, dear.”
*
The art gallery that held Constance’s installation was close enough to Maura’s home that she and Jane decided to walk back after making plans with Constance for a real dinner the next night. A redo of the one she messed up.
Jane and Maura walked slowly side by side down the sidewalk, a comfortable silence between them for a moment before Maura spoke. “You were listening the whole time, weren’t you?”
Jane winced and gave her an apologetic smile. “I was…standing nearby?”
Maura sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it. She wouldn’t have expected anything less from her Jane.
Jane held up her hands. “Look, in my defense, museums echo.”
Maura shook her head slightly, a smile gracing her lips. “You didn’t have to do that. Talk to her I mean.”
“Yeah. I kinda did.”
Maura looked over at her and studied her profile for a moment. This gorgeous woman, ever her protector. “You advocated for me.”
Jane shrugged, not taking her gaze away from the sidewalk now. “Yeah, someone had to.”
Maura looked deeply moved at that and reached out to take Jane’s hand, holding it tightly in hers. This was nothing new. They had held hands before but it had always been light and for less than a minute at a time. Now? Their holds were tight and neither woman had any intentions of letting go quickly.
Boston was quiet as they walked, the streets were lit with soft yellow streetlights, and the cool night air carried the distant sound of traffic and for once, neither of them was in a hurry to be somewhere.
After enjoying the silence and Maura’s hand in hers, Jane had to smile a bit because she had been able to practically hear the other woman’s brain working overtime next to her for the last block. “You’re doing that thing.”
Maura looked over and smiled slightly. “What thing?”
“The thinking thing,” Jane said simply. “Your brain’s going like a thousand miles an hour.”
Maura’s smile grew just a bit at how well Jane knew her. What she could somehow sense about her that defied all logic and reason. “That is generally how thinking works.”
Jane rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“She said it, Jane. She said she loves me.”
Jane’s smile brightened instantly as she nodded her head and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. She did.”
Maura shook her head slightly, almost in disbelief. “I spent years preparing explanations for why she never said it.”
Jane shrugged a bit. “Well, turns out she just needed a little push.”
Maura looked sideways at her, trying to hide her growing smile. “You mean she just needed to meet Detective Jane Rizzoli?”
Jane chucked a bit, her eyes a little mischievous. “I just might’ve strongly suggested something. That’s it. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Maura came to a stop a few feet away from her brownstone, and held Jane’s hand. Jane was tugged backwards at the sudden stop and she turned to look at her, to see why she suddenly stopped walking.
“It was a very big deal to me,” Maura replied sincerely, her eyes bright, and for a moment they just stood there under the streetlight.
“You deserve people telling you they love you,” Jane said quietly. “Not making you guess.”
Maura’s gaze softened. “You care about that a great deal. People saying how they feel about me.”
Jane shrugged again, shaking her head. “I care about you a great deal.”
The words came out so easily Jane almost didn’t notice them but Maura certainly did and her eyes lingered on Jane’s face. “You always take care of me,” she said softly.
Jane gave her a half-smile, her cheeks growing warm. “Occupational hazard.”
“That is not part of a homicide detective’s job description, Detective Rizzoli.”
Jane chuckled as she walked closer to Maura. “Yeah, well, you seem to be the exception to every single rule and regulation I’ve ever had.”
The air between them shifted slightly now and Maura couldn’t help but step a little closer, causing Jane’s breath to catch before she could stop it.
“You do realize,” Maura said quietly, her eyes locked with Jane’s. “that you have now had two emotionally significant conversations with my mother in less than twenty-four hours.”
Jane groaned. “Please never remind me of that again. In-laws are so hard to deal with.”
Maura laughed softly but didn’t let Jane completely deflect the point she was trying to make. At least not quite yet. “She seemed to think you understand me very well.”
“Well, that’s really for you to decide. Do I understand you…because sometimes I feel like I don’t,” she said with a soft chuckle.
Maura smiled a bit more. “Yes. You do understand me. Very much so. You’re one of the very few people who do.”
The moment stretched as they leaned closer to each other and everything seemed to become quieter around them.
Maura’s voice softened even more, her breathing a bit heavier. “She also suggested that you care about me very deeply.”
Jane exhaled slowly. “Your mom reads people for a living or something?” She asked with a smile, her voice laced with sarcasm but all meaning well. “I mean yeah I care about you. Of course I do.”
Maura’s eyes searched her face briefly before she asked a question she had wanted to know the answer to for a while now. “How much? How much do you care about me, Jane?” She whispered.
Jane blinked, her heart pounding now. “Well…that’s a loaded question, Maura. I think we both know that right now,” she said quietly, her voice deeper than normal.
Maura didn’t look away, didn’t let Jane look away either, their eye contact holding and Jane felt suddenly exposed. Like one wrong sentence might change everything between them. So she deflected. Like always. “I care about you enough to eat a kale salad with you.”
Despite it all, Maura’s lips curved into a soft smile. She had been half expecting an answer similar to that. She would have been more than shocked if Jane had given her a real answer. “That is a significant commitment to me.”
“Exactly. I basically just proposed,” Jane said with a smile. She glanced over at the door to Maura’s building and smiled a bit. “Well…this is you.”
Maura nodded but neither of them made any moves to let go of each other’s hand.
Jane hesitated for half a second before she stepped forward and hugged Maura. It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t polite. It was warm and close and lingering and tight, their bodies pressed completely together.
Maura didn’t hesitate for even a second to hug her back just as hard, leaning forward slightly, her body weight sinking into Jane.
After more than a few very long, very pleasant minutes, Jane pulled back slowly, their faces closer than usual. Too close for just friends. Jane noticed and so did Maura but neither of them said anything for a second, just letting their noses brush together a bit and their eyes closing.
Finally, Jane cleared her throat and opened her eyes. “Okay,” she breathed. “Now I’m going to go before this moment gets weird.”
Maura laughed softly, her eyes fluttering open as well. “It already is weird,” she said before letting out a heavy breath.
Jane grinned but didn’t walk away just yet. “Yeah but it’s a…a good weird. Right?”
Maura nodded in agreement. “Yes. A very good weird.”
“New?”
“Something we should probably talk about later over a kale salad,” Maura suggested as her thumb brushed over Jane’s hand.
“We will. I promise,” Jane assured her with a soft laugh, having absolutely all the intentions of keeping said promise. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Maura,” Jane whispered softly, quickly kissing her cheek before she started to walk away.
“Goodnight,” Maura whispered, her cheek burning from that quick peck.
As Jane walked down the sidewalk she suddenly remembered something and looked over her shoulder, “Oh and I love you, Maur! Can’t forget that part!”
Maura laughed as she unlocked her front door shaking her head in amusement. “I love you too, Jane,” she whispered.