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It's hard, being in love with Maria. A human and a mermaid. Their love was maroon and sapphire, like the sunrise kissing the ocean at the horizon.
Natasha learns ASL, how to hold her breath freakishly long, how to become as strong a swimmer as possible, all just so she can interact with her girlfriend as best as she can.
Sometimes Natasha rows quite far out and swims down to Maria, other times Maria swims up to the surface at the dock.
The two got fortunate with the fact that Nat owns a beach house with a private dock.
The periwinkle of Maria's eyes hypnotized Natasha, without the brunette ever having to reveal her voice of a siren.
~
It's another regular evening, the two watching the sunset as the ocean fades from cyan to navy as the sky turns from fiery gold to inky black dotted with stars.
“It's getting late, my love. You'll be too tired to swim back if you don't leave soon.” Natasha gently reminds Maria, though it pains her to see Maria leave.
Nat watches as Maria swims into the depths, sorrow and longing rising inside her.
So, that night, she dyes her hair indigo with the help of her little sister.
Yelena joyously accepts, remembering their childhood and Nat's obsession with dyed hair.
When Maria swims up to the dock the next morning, the early sky a beautiful cyan, she's frozen at the sight of Natasha's hair. Breathing suddenly seems unnecessary for survival, Nat being the only thing on Maria's mind.
But Natasha is focused on the bouquet of forget-me-nots she carefully handpicked, the color reminding her of Maria's eyes and the name seeming appropriate for their love.
~
Every day for weeks, Natasha brings a bouquet in varying shades of teal, azure, turquoise and cerulean.
Natasha had finally gotten comfortable enough in their relationship when it happened.
Merfolk hunters under the guise of fishermen had poached Maria for her scales, she found out.
~
Natasha's soul faded from scarlet and gold to a dim near-grey, feeling so low she can't feel nothing at all.
The only thing keeping her afloat in this sea of sadness is Clint and Yelena keeping her distracted.
~
Several years pass, and Natasha has moved to Russia and moved on from Maria.
Until, one day, she comes across a curious little child by the shore.
She has Maria's aqua eyes, and a love for the ocean on par with merfolk.
“Hey, kid. What's your name?" Natasha asks casually, sitting about a foot away from her on the sand.
“Masha. And you're Nat. I think I know you. Or I did in my last life. Teacher taught us that mermaids reincarnate when someone they love is still alive. I think I was one before.”
Natasha can't help it—tears fall. “Yeah. Yeah, you were. And you were just as beautiful as you are now. Your eyes are the same.”
“Why are you sad?” Masha asks in that innocent way only children can manage.
“I'm not. I'm crying because I'm happy that you get to live a better life. I'll see you around, Masha. You're a good kid.” Natasha stands to leave.
~
From then on, Nat and Masha meet every other week at the beach, forming an unlikely friendship.
Nat might not have married Maria, but she gets closure and a second chance to say goodbye.
And maybe that's all she needed. Maybe an innocent child with too big a vocabulary for her age, a sister, and a best friend is all Natasha needed to die happy.
And she no longer avoided a certain colour.