Chapter Text
“Lalala, what a beautiful day, time for me to go give my children foodgasms with my delicious cooking-“
Lilia, the SHORT 🤏KING 👑 was abruptly stopped by two TALLER KINGS 👑 as he walked into the cafeteria kitchen.
Jamil Viper stepped forward like he wasn’t a traumatized servant like “y-you c-c-can’t come any further!!”
To the surprise of no one this did not deter Lilia one bit until he slammed face first into the chest of TOOTH DADDY TREY ‼️‼️‼️and he growled like the alpha wolf inside him “Erm… we have received several complaints about your cooking 👆🤓😡”.
Lilia did that manga/anime thing where the character’s eyes turn into dots.
“But why in the world would they do that? After all all my meals are perfectly balanced-“
Here he gave a little hair flip like the ✨diva✨ he was.
“That’s the thing! They’re NOT!” screeched Jamil like a toddler who had just been told he was not invited to his friend’s birthday party. “Your meals are not nutritious in any way! And even if they were, your atrocious culinary skill level makes them safety hazards!!!?!?!?!!!!!11!11!!!!”
“Calm down, Jamal Cobra,” said Trey in his classic 6’7 trillionaire mafia alpha wolf CEO deep-as-me-in-your-mom voice.
Tamil Rattlesnake did not calm down.
“HE NEEDS TO LEARN-“
“That’s enough, kitten whiskers! Daddy will discuss you later 🐺🔥🩸⛓️💥⛓️🌕🔪” roared Lunch Tray.
And so began the family sitcom cooking montage!!!!!
Scene 1: Knife skills
“So you have to dice things properly, instead of just chopping them up into a powder-“
“Nah, imma do my own thing-“
Lilia, throwing Jamil’s instructions out of the window, sliced the cutting board in half.
“Ooh! Now this will make excellent fibre for a balanced diet!”
“NO!”
Scene 2: Hand control
Trey’s turn
“Try your best to pipe evenly around your tart and- what are you doing?”
Lilia was punching holes in the SWEET TART with the nozzle of the piping bag and filling the holes in with liver paste.
“You know, this is what Maleanor used to do to my- you know what? I’ll tell you when you’re older😏😏😏😏😼😼😼💦🍆🍑🍒~” smirked Lilia, thinking he was slick asl (he was not).
Scene 3: Heat skills
“Ugh…okay, this time, at least TRY not to burn the omelette, please?”
Lilia looked up at Jamil’s pleading, pathetic, omega babygirl face.
“Nah, I’d burn.”
He threw a pumpkin at the skillet, incinerating it and catapulting the charred omelet into Jamil’s face.
“Kobe!”
Scene 4: Defeat
“Farewell for now, skibidi youngsters!!!!!! W rizz chicken jockey sixty-seven!”
Lilia ran off to go make out with half the fandom, his child-birthing hips jiggling in the distance.
“OH MY SEVENS, JAMIL! HE’S GONE!”
Trey did the choreography for the hit K-Pop song Super Shy by renowned girl group NewJeans.
The 🔥✨KINGLY 👑 pair ran about the kitchen, giving weapons to all the ghosts should Lilian Van Rizz return.
success :D
The End 💚🖤