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Blossomfall struggled to fall asleep that night. Her wounds were especially deep from her last training session with Hawkfrost, but it was needed so that she could become the greatest warrior in all the Clans. She turned in her nest and hid her snout in her tail to avoid looking at her fresh wounds that would eventually scar. Thank Starclan for Ivypool who always found the perfect way to excuse how Blossomfall was constantly hurt and bloody. She was definitely far more experienced with lying than Blossomfall. It made sense, since the pale she-cat had been training in the Dark Forest for longer than Blossomfall. Now, she finally understood why Ivypool was always wounded and tired night after night.
For the first time in a while, Blossomfall just wanted to sleep. She wanted her rest and didn't want to wallow in her anger and jealousy that drove her to train in the Place of No Stars. It was those same emotions that made her feel terrible about herself. Perhaps she would finally get a dream about chasing squirrels, or something generic, so that she could finally escape the shadow that Briarlight cast over her.
No, you aren't angry at Briarlight, she thought sadly, it's Millie. Millie, who's always acting as if Briarlight was her only kit.
Her mind wandered to Ivypool for a moment. She let her gaze fall upon the pale, lithe mass of fur that was sleeping a few nests away from hers. Blossomfall saw how Ivypool twitched in her sleep, flexing her claws from time to time. She heard a soft whimper emit from Ivypool and Blossomfall's nerves burned in alarm. Before she could stop herself, she smoothly made her way to Ivypool's side and prodded her shoulder with her dark muzzle.
"Ivypool!" She whispered as loudly as she could without waking the other warriors in the den, tossing Ivypool around in her nest. Ivypool grumbled under her breath, rolling onto her stomach. She then opened her eyes sharply and sat up with a start, nearly bowling Blossomfall into the wall.
"No! Don't you dare hurt-!" She yowled for a split second before Blossomfall silenced her by pressing her paw to her muzzle. Ivypool's ears twitched in embarrassment when she realized that she was pinning Blossomfall to the ground and that her yell had nearly woken everyone in the warrior's den.
"You weren't in the Dark Forest tonight." Ivypool suddenly whispered, not moving, probably too afraid to make another sound that might startle awake the other warriors. Blossomfall stared up at her with wide eyes, trying to recover from the harmless attack.
"I couldn't sleep." Blossomfall admitted. I didn't want to. Ivypool stared at her for a long moment before slowly pulling off the older warrior, making her way out the warrior's den.
"Where are you going?" Blossomfall demanded.
"Midnight stroll." Ivypool winced as she stepped on a weak paw, where blood dozed slowly from a cut. "Care to join me?" A hesitant smile grew on her tired expression.
"Millie's standing as guard tonight." Blossomfall reminded, shifting on her paws as a small rage bubbled in her chest.
Ivypool stared at Blossomfall with her understanding, icy blue eyes.
"And?" Ivypool finally uttered.
"And she won't let me go outside of camp in the middle of the night!" Blossomfall retorted with alarm in her voice.
"You're a warrior. Forget about Millie." Ivypool suddenly huffed. "It's her problem if she doesn't see how amazing you are."
Blossomfall couldn't tear her gaze away from Ivypool. She felt her pelt grow hot at the compliment.
"I…"
"I don't want to go to the Dark Forest tonight." Ivypool blurted out, padding closer to Blossomfall until she could see all the different shades of blue in the white she-cat's eyes.
"But we have to." Blossomfall pushed past Ivypool so that she could go back into her nest. She pushed the nest around until it cushioned her perfectly, but she knew she was only acting drowsy to keep herself from betraying Hawkfrost.
"It's just one night." Ivypool continued, laying down beside Blossomfall. "And… I can tell you're tired."
"I'm not." Blossomfall snarled. "I'm just restless."
Ivypool shot her a knowing glance that was partially wounded by the snarl in Blossomfall's mew.
"We can hunt for the clan." Ivypool continued. "We can do a border patrol. We don't have to walk, if you don't want to."
"There's no good prey at night." Blossomfall objected.
"There is good prey at night. We just don't hunt at night." Ivypool added.
Blossomfall growled a bit under her breath, but the temptation to forget about her responsibilities and to enjoy the moonlight with Ivypool was growing too strong for her to resist. No, the idea of hunting was tempting her, not the idea of being alone with Ivypool.
"I suppose we can try." She finally gave in, rising from her nest. Ivypool nudged Blossomfall with her muzzle appreciatively.
"We can take the dirt place tunnel to avoid your mother." She promised.
"No." Blossomfall suddenly announced as they left the warrior's den and entered the campus hollow. "I don't care about her opinion. We're going outside. Why should she care?"
Ivypool looked at Blossomfall with a bit of surprise in her eyes.
"If you're certain…" She trailed off and trudged to the main entrance of the camp.
Millie awaited them as she stood guard. It had been a while when there weren't as many kits in the clan, so she was free to do more warrior-like tasks. Millie's sharp gaze glared at Blossomfall as her daughter approached.
"What are you doing? You have dawn patrol tomorrow, young warrior!" Millie snapped. "And I'm not letting you leave camp again with Ivypool, especially after that little stunt where you were gone for nearly half the day, 'lost' in Thunderclan territory!"
Blossomfall snarled in response.
"That was a long time ago. We're going to hunt." She growled.
"The fresh-kill pile is shockingly small." Ivypool added smoothly. "And it is nearly leaf-fall."
Millie stared at Blossomfall for a long, tense and harsh moment.
"Briarlight would never do such a foolish thing."
"I'm not Briarlight, Millie!" Blossomfall suddenly yowled. "I am my own separate warrior! Now, you will let me leave camp or- or-!"
Millie pulled away from her howling daughter in shock, leaving the tunnel open to pass through. Blossomfall stomped off and Ivypool quickly followed behind her, leaving Millie to drown in alarm.
Ivypool's limp started growing more apparent to Blossomfall. After a while, she slowed down to match the pale cat's stride and let her lean against her shoulder as support.
"This reminds me of when we fell into the tunnels." Ivypool whispered. "But now you're the one supporting me."
Blossomfall couldn't help but purr a bit in reply.
"Don't get used to it." She joked, to which Ivypool leaned in even further into her touch.
"What do you think the Dark Forest is training us for?" Ivypool suddenly asked. Blossomfall tensed and Ivypool stumbled to readjust her weight against the dark-furred cat.
"To be good warriors." She snapped, her tail flicking the ground in frustration.
"Do good warriors go to the Place of No Stars when they die?" Ivypool mumbled slowly, her icy eyes growing dark in thought as her gaze fell to the grass.
"I don't deserve to go to Starclan anyway. I might as well go somewhere." Blossomfall sighed. The two she-cats found a nice, mossy area and they both slumped into the growth of soft padding. Ivypool winced as she put too much pressure on her paws and shifted to get more comfortable.
"You deserve to go to Starclan, Blossomfall." Ivypool croaked through the pain. "Just because Millie can't see that…"
"It's not only because of Millie!" Blossomfall suddenly yowled before she could think. Oh, mouse dung!
Ivypool stared at her as if she was covered head-to-paws in mud, yet there was still a softness in her gaze.
"What else is there?" She finally asked.
"It…" Blossomfall sucked in a deep breath, unsure how to continue. Unsure if she should continue. Her hesitation lasted a few moments.
Ivypool slowly crept closer to Blossomfall, pressing against her for warmth. Her muzzle was hidden in Blossomfall's thick fur on her flank.
"No matter what it is, it can't be as horrible as disrespecting the warrior code." Ivypool reminded her. "I know you would never do such a thing like that."
But if loving somecat from a different clan was bad, then how bad was it to love a she-cat as a she-cat? She-cats were only supposed to like tomcats, and tomcats were only supposed to like she-cats.
So…
Blossomfall was the problem. Her own self was the other reason. Her unconditional love for… for her was the reason.
"I don't want to talk about it." Blossomfall sank into the moss-covered rock and hid her muzzle in her paws. She felt Ivypool's frown on her flank, but Ivypool's words concealed her expression well.
"That's fine, too. I just want a break from it all."
Despite herself, Blossomfall turned to face Ivypool, staring at the pale-grey furred warrior. Her eyelids were half closed and her breaths were long and relaxed, more so than when she was sleeping. Blossomfall slowly pressed her muzzle to Ivypool's, her eyes growing wet. Her heart thumped in her chest, each heartbeat ringing in her ears as if it was a banging on the bars of the prison that the warrior code set in place.
Ivypool slowly opened her eyes to stare up at Blossomfall. Both she-cats leaned in further into the other's touch, both desperate for the smallest bit of comfort after all those nights filled with bloodshed and tireless training.
Neither cat could utter a single word. They were both petrified yet freed by each other's warmth and presence, both eternally dreading what would happen if their unspoken love was finally spoken.
Yet they both knew what the other felt. Blossomfall could tell that Ivypool loved her back by the way she always looked out for her, staring at her during clan meetings or when she was sunning herself. Ivypool could tell that Blossomfall reciprocated her feelings by the way she always defended her and spoke for her against all odds.
"Stay awake." Blossomfall begged Ivypool. "Don't get hurt again. Stay with me." She mumbled in her half-asleep state.
"Sorry. I'm just too comfortable." Ivypool whispered in return. She poked herself with her own claw to stay awake for a bit longer in Blossomfall's embrace.
"I want to tell you…" Ivypool yawned wide, gently running her paw against Blossomfall's flank. "I…"
When Ivypool opened her eyes, she felt an oozing darkness creep over her. Looking up, the starless sky was hidden by a dark canopy of leafless trees that were so dense with twigs that leaves would never find a place to bud. Ivypool spun around in alarm in search of Blossomfall.
"Blossomfall? Where are you?" An unending dread crept up her paws.
"She's training with Hawkfrost, dearest." A raspy voice purred behind her. Spinning with tears in her eyes, Ivypool rubbed them away smoothly with her paw and acted as if she was brushing the fur on her face to lie straight. The dappled pelt of Mapleshade shone with a void-like aura and greeted Ivypool with a toothy grin.
"Why are you looking for your clanmate?" Mapleshade purred once more.
"I… I wanted to train with her tonight." Ivypool lied. She tried to urge herself to wake up to no avail. Blossomfall must've fallen asleep as well, so she must be close, somewhere.
"Aw. You want to train with your little friend, hm? The one you stood up for a moon or two ago? When she should've been defending herself?" Mapleshade's purrs turned to growls so she padded closer to Ivypool.
"Ivypool!"
Ivypool jumped awake and her unsheathed claws accidentally dug into Blossomfall' pelt.
"Oh, Starclan." Blossomfall mumbled. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you doze off."
Ivypool stared at Blossomfall until tears ran down her muzzle. The dark-furred warrior's eyes widened in alarm at the sudden shift in the atmosphere.
"I'm so tired, Blossomfall. I don't want to sleep." Ivypool hid herself in Blossomfall' fur.
"I… understand." Blossomfall whispered. "Let' s stay here all night. I don't want to go back to camp."
Ivypool was too tired to object.
"If I fall asleep, wake me up." She begged Blossomfall, who nodded.
"Of course." Blossomfall hated having to betray Hawkfrost like this, but her heart was torn between training to be a good warrior and between spending some time with the love of her life.
"Do the same for me."