Archive of Our Own ^beta

The moment Toya woke up, he knew it was going to be a bad day. There was an odd sinking feeling in his stomach that he could only place as dread, and there was one person he knew was causing it.

Akito.

Until a week ago, everything was perfect. They'd confessed to each other only a month prior, and the excitement of their budding romantic relationship covered everything in glitter and sparkles. One look had both of them blushing and giggling. It was new, it was fun, they were gay and in love.

Then, they decided to make a song together. An was the one who brought it up, but it was ultimately their decision to go through with it. At first, Toya thought it would be easy considering how similar their music tastes were. With a shared playlist of nearly 100 songs, plus the fact that they were dating, everything would click. There would be no disagreements, no angry tension, no ‘sure, fine, whatever’s.

He was wrong. There’s been a rapidly increasing number of small disputes since they started; everything was a clash of creative differences and none of their ideas worked. More often than not, Toya would find himself running dangerously low on patience, leading to him giving up and sitting back while Akito did whatever he wanted to do in fuming silence.

They've been dragging each other down to the point that it feels like he's walking on eggshells even outside of music-making. It's driving Toya insane, honestly, though he'd never admit it out loud.

“How was your morning?” Toya asks Akito during lunch. They're sitting on the roof of the school, one of the few high places that Toya can manage without getting too scared.

“It was fine,” Akito huffs, telling Toya that it was, in fact, not fine. Or maybe just being together is making his day worse. However, not wanting to start anything, Toya just accepts the answer.

“That’s nice,” he replies. “By the way, An said we could all hang out at the Weekend Garage after school, so we could work on the song there.”

At the mention of the song, whatever dark cloud that hangs over Akito darkens. “Sure.”

They hardly look at each other while eating. It’s hard to believe they were called ‘an inseparable married couple’ by their classmates a few weeks ago.

In his head, Toya runs through the work they did on the song yesterday - they have a beat and a rough, half-done melody, which… isn't much. The lyrics have hardly progressed, because frankly, Akito’s not the best at writing. However, he’s too proud to let Toya correct his mistakes, so it's a stalemate in that department.

Lunch feels a lot longer than usual, made more excruciating with dry, stale conversation. When the bell rings, he and Akito part with such an unaffectionate kiss that he almost scrunches his nose in disdain. Is this really the same boy from a month ago? It's like all their chemistry has been sucked out and deposited in a dumpster.

The rest of the day goes normally, though Toya feels like he has a dark cloud of his own now. That nagging dread still hasn't left him, and the impending music session hangs over his head like a time bomb. We just need to survive until this song gets done, he tells himself. Then things can go back to how they were.

｡•☆✧♡✧☆•｡

The Weekend Garage is never too busy on a Thursday, let alone at an awkward time like 4:00 PM, so it's no surprise that Vivid BAD SQUAD’s usual seating spot is free.

Toya’s the first to arrive, so he claims the high table in the corner. While getting his laptop and earbuds out, the other three members arrive at the same time.

“Toya!” An grins, bounding over to the table and setting her bag on the ground.

“Hi,” Toya greets politely. Akito silently slides into the seat beside him, while Kohane sits beside An. The girls are immediately swept into an energetic, passionate conversation. Toya watches them for a second, something between satisfaction and envy swirling in his gut.

“Here,” Toya hands Akito an earbud, booting up their music. “I was thinking we could increase the drum tempo at the chorus, but keep the melody the same to give it a layered effect.”

“Hmm,” Akito hums. “But making the melody faster and keeping the beat gives you more freedom with the lyrics. We could make a rap or something.”

Oh god. Here they go again.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Toya says, “This isn't really a rap song, though? I thought we established that it would be more on the chill side.”

“Uh, no.” Akito purses his lips. “You never told me that.”

“The melody is pretty relaxed. Was it not obvious?” Toya turns his computer towards himself, adding a couple more beats in the drums. His work is quickly interrupted.

“Oi, what’re you doing?” Akito snatches the computer back between them. He hits play on the newly renovated chorus and immediately furrows his brow. “No, a faster melody would be better,” he comments. Toya resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“That's because I wasn't done,” he grabs the device back. “If you just let me finish and listened to my suggestion-”

“How could I listen if I don't even understand what direction this is going?” Akito points out. “You never told me what kind of song this was. Even yesterday, you told me to just do what I wanted!”

“I said that because you were being difficult,” Toya jabs, looking past the screen at his partner. Akito is really testing his patience today. The boy in question narrows his eyes.

“I’m the difficult one? Sorry being the only one with communication skills is so difficult for you,” he retorts sarcastically.

Toya raises his eyebrows. Normally, he wouldn't let a comment like that get to him, but after a week of constant bickering, the remark gets under his skin. He can't help but mutter, “I wouldn't call being controlling and moody good communication skills.”

Akito stands, pulling the earbud out. Even An and Kohane, who are used to these spats by now, look up.

“I'm not controlling and moody, you're just indecisive and a pushover.”

“I only said you could do what you wanted because I don't like arguing with you. And either way, you don't listen to me!” Toya crosses his arms.

“Sure doesn't seem like you have a problem with arguments!” Akito narrows his eyes.

“Both of you, calm down!” An snaps. “It's not that big of a deal, just scrap the song at this point!”

Akito scoffs. “Yeah, it's not a big deal when he tells me something different every day and then gets mad when I don't know what to do!”

Toya has never wanted to slam his head against the table as much as he wants to now. “I'm trying to build something off what you're doing, but nothing you do makes sense! Don't blame it on me-”

“The hell do you mean, ‘nothing I do makes sense’!? It would be perfectly clear if-”

“Boys,” a firm, deep voice says. They both look up at Ken, who forces them away with a strong hand on each of their arms. “Quit yelling, or I'm throwing you out.”

Toya didn't even realize his voice had risen out of sheer frustration. He glares at Akito, who returns an equally hateful look. Ken frowns.

“C’mon, why are you fighting? You guys love each other, I see it every day. You're best friends.”

Before Toya can react, Akito mutters an “as if.”

Toya groans, fists clenching at his sides. This isn't his ‘best friend'. “As if what? You’re blatantly disrespecting your own partner!”

“Like hell I wanna be partners with someone who just expects me to know what he's thinking-”

“You never even attempted to be cooperative!” Toya breaks free of Ken's grasp to take an angry step forward.

Akito mimics the movement, closing the gap as if preparing to fight. Toya knows he'd immediately lose if Akito did decide to throw hands, but too blinded by rage, he holds his ground. The redhead opens his mouth again.

“You ever think that it's hard to cooperate with a pain in the ass who doesn't know what he's doing!?” Akito shouts in his face. Toya scowls.

“You're one to talk about being a pain-”

“Oh, sorry mister ‘I’m so high and mighty’-”

Toya doesn't know what possesses him to do it, but he interrupts Akito by shoving him back by the shoulders. The boy was far too close for comfort, so he could call it a knee-jerk reaction, but Toya really just needed an outlet for the intense anger inside him.

“You're being immature!” He lashes out at the redhead. “None of this would have happened-”

“None of this would have happened if you just stuck with piano!” Akito finishes. “You could live off daddy's money at a fancy private school and compose whatever shit you want!”

Toya gasps softly, taken back by the comments. He's glad he has enough experience with verbal fights with his own father to hold his ground. “You have no right to say that! Really, you're acting like an insolent child! At least I was raised to have manners and patience, because it's clear that you lack those skills!”

“Pretty hypocritical for someone who just pushed me and started calling me names!” Akito seethes, grabbing Toya by the collar. The action is reminiscent of their first and only fight, which ended with Toya getting punched in the jaw three times. “I'm the one that brought you here in the first place! Otherwise you'd still be a cold, distant piece of shit, but I guess that hasn't really changed, has it!?”

“That's it!” Toya digs his nails into Akito's arms, freeing himself from the boy's grasp. The words that follow come out before he can think. “I'm done with fighting, I'm done with this song, and I'm done with you, Akito!” Toya exclaims so loudly that Akito flinches.

He might have seen a flash of hurt in Akito's eyes, but it's hard to decipher in the fit of rage. Either way, Akito recovers and grits his teeth.

“I’m done with you!” Akito stomps his foot. Toya's heart squeezes. “If you're gonna break up with me, so be it!”

This is it. He can't just turn around and tell Akito he wants to stay together. Toya isn't even sure if he wants to anyways, after all that's been said. He's so angry, just looking at the boy makes his blood boil.

“Fine!” His voice is slightly hoarse from yelling. “Leave!”

Akito is already grabbing his things, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “You’re nothing without me, anyways!”

With that, his best friend storms out the door.

Toya watches it close, ears ringing with echoes of the argument. The silence feels too quiet. He turns his head and notices pretty much every customer staring at him, as if the fight was free entertainment.

...What just happened?

He and Akito broke up. Just like that. He won't be able to huddle close to him for warmth in the cold fall weather, won't be able to run his fingers through fluffy orange hair or stay up late talking about silly nonsense.

No. He doesn't need that anyways. Never did, never will. Loneliness has always been his closest friend.

Against his will, Toya's vision goes blurry as he scrambles to pack his things, face burning from anger and humiliation and a hundred other things he doesn't want- doesn't need to address.

“Toya? Are you okay?” An asks quietly, free from the shocked silence that veils the café. Toya ignores her in favor of cramming all his things into his bag. Even Ken stays quiet, mouth slightly agape like he wants to say something but can't find the words.

Toya presses the back of his hand to his lips, suppressing the urge to cry as he exits. The cool evening air does nothing to calm his pounding heart and swirling mind.

He walks down the street as fast as possible, cursing Akito in his head. He hates him. He hates the things he said, the things he did, the way he blamed Toya for his own faults. He hates that Akito may have been right - he's better at piano and violin than this… this stupid street music.

He hates the way his heart aches. Akito was rude, stubborn, and insufferable. He doesn't miss it. He doesn't.

“You ever think that it's hard to cooperate with a pain in the ass who doesn't know what he's doing?”

“None of this would have happened if you just stuck with piano! You could live off daddy's money at a fancy private school and compose whatever shit you want!”

“You’re nothing without me, anyways!”

Toya scowls. His hand shakes when he unlocks the door to his house. Familiar melodies drift through down the hall as he enters, indicating that his father is preoccupied with practice. He takes the opportunity to slip into his room unnoticed.

Once inside, the bluenette sets down his bag with a sigh. The room somehow feels lonelier, though Toya can't really place why. He's used to loneliness. Sixteen years of his life were spent in solitude with only two people to call friends, so why does this feel so different?

He leans against the door, taking deep, shuddering breaths. His mind is ravaged by memories shared with Akito, all tainted with a new angry pain.

Their first kiss, short and awkward yet so perfect, because as long as it was with Akito, it could never have been bad.

Going camping for the first time, when they stayed up late talking and woke up snuggled together.

Even that fateful night when they first met. Akito looked like a beacon of freedom in his dull world.

He sinks to the ground, tucking his knees to his chest and letting his head rest on them. He feels awful for wanting to cry, because Akito doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve his tears, his time, any second thought.

…

A drop of wetness falls down his cheek. It's followed by another, then another, and Toya clamps his mouth shut so that his sobs won't be heard through the door.

Crying silently was a skill he developed early on, not wanting his dad to hear the rare moments of weakness. It could have also been attributed to his already quiet nature, but really, Toya doesn't care. There'd surely be reprimands if he screamed at the top of his lungs like he wanted to, so he's grateful for the ability to hold it together.

Is this what heartbreak feels like? He wonders as more tears stains his clothes. It's worse than I imagined.

Heartbreak - Noun: great sadness, grief, or distress. He's read about it in books, understands the concept, but it's at this moment that he truly feels it.

And he hates it. Anger and sadness fight each other, the conflicting emotions ripping through his head and heart. He wants Akito to leave and never come back, but he also wants the redhead to hug him and kiss him and whisper sweet nothings until the pain goes away.

As Akito would say - it fucking sucks.

His breath catches on a particularly heavy wave of tears, forcing him to lift his head and properly suck air in. The sight of his empty room makes Toya feel cold and gutted. It's dark, unwelcoming, with no sign of anyone coming to save him. His own family wouldn't care, if they could even be called that, and it's not like he has many close friends to confide in.

He is truly… alone.

“I'm done with you, Akito!”

Toya sniffles, wiping his face with a damp sleeve. Why did he say that?

Pressing his hands to his eyes and taking a deep breath, he wills himself to stand, blood rushing to his feet and making him dizzy.

Stop crying, he tells himself, biting back another sob. Think clearly. There are reasonable ways to go about this.

Sitting on the edge of the bed yet keeping the room dark so he can't see its soullessness, Toya tries to think. Take a step back, analyze, solve.

I messed up, I messed up, I messed up-

Shush. Think.

I didn't mean it. Akito is gone because I said stuff I didn't mean, what have I done, what have I done?

His heart pounds, but the rest of Toya's body feels empty. Like the only thing giving him life was violently ripped away.

Akito's words repeat in his head. Toya never knew he could be that mean. It hurts, being the one to bring out that side of his lovely partner.

Oh… They're not partners anymore, are they?

The thought makes Toya tear up again. He grits his teeth. Anger wells up inside of him, though it's not all directed at Akito. He's mad at himself, mostly. He shouldn't have gotten so worked up about something so insignificant. It was all his fault.

No. Akito was at fault. He was short tempered and didn't listen. He took everything personally. He left without a second thought and made Toya cry. A good partner doesn't do that.

But if Akito isn't good, then why is Toya hurting so much? Why does every memory crush his heart and squeeze his lungs like an empty can on the side of the road?

He flops down on his bed, instinctively grabbing one of the bigger plushies he managed to hide and burying his face in it. However, he stops when orange fur clouds his vision.

…Ah. He remembers this one. The giant orange cat with big, green eyes and a little smirk. He got it because it reminded him of a certain orange cat of his own.

He tosses it on the floor and turns away.

Toya doesn't get much sleep. He’s too anxious about how things will be the next day. Maybe they could act like nothing happened and go back to being friends. Not even boyfriends - just friends would be enough to satisfy him.

Then thinks of ways to apologize, but repeating the fight in his head makes his head hurt. It's a horrific loop of anger, guilt, and sadness.

Anger because Akito was insufferable during the past week.

Guilt because he really didn't want to break up with Akito. He just wanted to be understood.

Sadness because he lost his soulmate. Toya might have caused it… But so did Akito. Back to anger.

All of it is layered on top of a stifling loneliness.

School feels unimaginably slow. Toya has friends, but it's really not the same without a best friend. He doesn't have anyone to hang out with during lunch either, but he doesn't want to eat, anyways. The pit of isolation fills his stomach and consumes him whole.

What’s worse is the fact that he doesn't see Akito at all today. He usually passes the boy at least once between classes, so Akito is either avoiding him or just skipping.

An and Kohane have texted every so often, clearly worried, but Toya doesn't blame them. Who wouldn't be? It was a nasty fight. He just replies with a lie about his well-being.

People have started asking him about it, though.

“Where's Akito?” A boy in his class asks at the end of the day. “Aren't you usually hanging out around now?”

Toya’s heart leaps into his throat. He doesn't know why he's so reluctant to admit the harsh truth, but that's it, isn't it? It's the truth. So why does a small part of him want to believe that he and Akito still have a chance?

Putting on a soft smile, Toya casually says, “We broke up.”

He almost collapses right then and there from how bad the words hurt.

But it's the truth. They're over.

The boy stutters awkwardly, mumbles a quick apology, and shuffles away. Toya watches him leave, then stares at the ground until the crushing feelings allow him to move again.

Time seems to rush forward and slow to a complete stop at the same time. Days blur together. Even in the afternoon, Toya's world feels dark. He fights the urge to check his phone and see if Akito texted, which is stupid because they're over. He's trapped in the past.

A stubborn flame of hope flickers in this endless void no matter how much he wants it to die, no matter how much he wants to let go of these feelings and be set free from the prison of his own mind.

Hope isn't as great as people make it seem. It's clingy, it gets in the way, it makes him think that maybe, maybe Akito misses him just as much as he misses Akito.

Toya lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. He doesn't want to read. He doesn't want to listen to music. He's tired of homework.

Suddenly, an alarm goes off. Toya jumps, but gets up to grab his phone.

7:50 PM - VBS Practice

He stares at the reminder before swiping it away. Is it Thursday already? Their weekly practice is today, then.

He considers not going, but abandons the thought when he remembers that they have an event soon. He can't let everyone suffer because of his own misery. He's not that cruel.

Toya's feet are on autopilot during the walk to the Weekend Garage, pace slower than usual due to the dread that weighs him down.

Akito. He's going to see Akito for the first time in… three days? Four days? He's not entirely sure.

He suppresses the urge to throw up from nerves.

Arriving at the front door, Toya hesitates, freezing with his hand on the handle. It would be so easy to just leave, but…

No. Shiraishi and Azusawa don't deserve a teammate who lets them down before an event.

It takes another couple of seconds to gain enough courage to push open the door.

The first person he spots is An, her long, black hair visible as she lounges on a couch near the practice stage. Next to her is Kohane, small and pink, cuddled into her girlfriend's side.

A shock of orange hair sits across from them.

I can't do this, I can't. I need to leave-

“Oh! Toya!” An shouts. She looks somewhat surprised, actually. Toya’s eyes widen as the others look up. He awkwardly smiles at the girls. Then, he makes eye contact with Akito.

His heart drops. Akito narrows his eyes before returning to his phone.

There's no turning back now.

Toya sucks in a sharp breath and joins them in their little area, setting his stuff down and letting An give a debrief. He makes a conscious effort not to look anywhere near Akito’s vicinity.

“...So! We have the set list right here, we'll do a warm up and then start with group songs. Got it?”

“Mhm,” Toya and Kohane hum. Akito hasn't looked up from his phone.

“Akito!” An snaps, causing the ginger to lift his head. Toya suddenly finds his shoes very interesting.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard.”

“What’re you even doing? Who you texting?”

“Just some guy, geez.”

Some guy? Toya thinks, still staring at the ground.

“Some guy?” An echoes his thought out loud.

“He asked for my number, like, two days ago, so I gave it to him.”

His number…? Toya freezes. His body goes cold. Oh. Akito's- That's-

He senses eyes on him as the tension in the air tightens. Toya feels… humiliated, honestly. And completely gutted. Akito is cool and popular, of course he moved on. That candle of hope he held onto suddenly goes out.

“Um, should we start warming up?” Kohane asks, voice small. An nods awkwardly.

Throughout the whole warmup, Toya is hyper aware of his breathing. Not in the normal ‘I’m a singer so I need to be’ way - it’s physically harder to breathe. Whether that's because of Akito's overwhelming presence or the fact Toya has just been stabbed in the gut is up for debate, but he feels on the verge of ruin.

The world is a haze as they hop onto the stage and begin practice.

Toya's not even sure how well he's doing. He knows his voice isn't in top form but he doesn't really care, can't care because his mind is Akito, Akito, Akito.

Akito beside him. Akito’s voice flooding his mind. Akito texting some guy without a second thought, crushing Toya and his silly hope that they could go back to normal. He's been rejected, replaced, so fast he gets whiplash trying to process it.

They make their way through the set list steadily until a small problem arises.

That small problem being An’s voice that reads out, “Aun no Beats.”

Toya feels so numb he doesn't even process it until a couple seconds later. When he does, though, he resists the urge to see Akito's reaction. He forgot they chose that.

Tension rises again. It would cause a scene to deny that song, so Toya sucks in a breath and nods.

“Alright.”

Once it's just him and Akito on stage, the music starts. It's hard when they're not looking at each other, especially because it was made with the intention of being so romantic, but they manage.

Singing it reminds him of the days when he and Akito were in love. It digs up memories that feel like a lifetime ago.

Each word burns, but Toya tightens his grip on the mic and sings louder.

He listens to Akito's voice and imagines he’s singing it only for Toya's ears. It only twists the knife, but the delusion of Akito loving him again is the only thing that keeps him going.

”Don't worry, don't worry, it's okay. I will make you smile.”

As the song goes on, Toya's heart shatters into smaller pieces. They dig into his soul and pierce his lungs, yet he can do nothing but power on.

"We were going to be together forever,” he sings, blinking away the pain. His voice falters.

"We were going to be together forever.”

Finally, the song comes to an end. Toya's breathing is offbeat. His hands shake. Akito moves, but Toya’s feet are planted on the wood beneath them.

…

With a thunk followed by the screech of feedback, the mic falls from his hand.

His teammate's heads all snap up, but Toya is already rushing off the stage. His eyesight goes blurry but if anything he moves faster, beelining for the washrooms while covering his mouth with his sleeve.

“Woah, Toya, are you good?” An grabs his arm before he can get too far. He tries to free himself, but he's too weak and An stays firm.

“Please let go of me,” he mutters. Kohane comes into view, worry written all over her face.

“Aoyagi, is there anything we can do for you?” She asks, eyes wide.

“No, I'm fine.”

That's when he spots Akito, standing far away but staring directly at him with no expression. It's too much. The reminder that Akito doesn't love him hurts, it hurts so bad, yet his stubborn heart refuses to go down with a fight no matter how bruised and broken it gets.

Toya's eyes well up even more and he struggles to free himself again. An's grip finally loosens and he sprints away.

The moment the washroom door closes, Toya breathes a sigh of relief that it's empty and locks himself in a stall. He clumsily balls up some toilet paper and uses it to wipe the tears that begin falling, knowing he can't stay here for long.

Biting his bottom lip, Toya curls into himself. Is this what his existence has come to? Crying all alone in a public washroom, running from his ex, embarrassing himself in front of everyone?

Toya's head hurts. Soft music plays through old speakers, his only consolation in the world of darkness that surrounds him.

Time passes. Minutes or hours, it's hard to say, but inevitably the door opens. Toya holds his breath, trying to make no sound as he waits for the person to do their business and leave.

He doesn't hear much for a moment, but a sudden, familiar voice says his name.

“Toya?”

Toya's heart plummets through the floor.

Akito?

No way.

He doesn’t move.

He hears Akito sigh, feet shifting where Toya sees them from under the door. “The girls are wondering if you’re coming back.”

Debating whether or not to answer, Toya sits in silence for a moment. Eventually, he manages to force out, “...I don't know. You can continue without me.”

Against his will, he sniffles, but expects Akito to leave. However, the door doesn't open and he hears no footsteps.

“Are you crying?” Akito suddenly asks.

“No,” Toya bristles. Just leave already.

“Okay.” Akito pauses. “Well, come back soon. We gotta practice.”

“Mhm.” Toya can’t help it - he sniffles again. Akito still doesn’t move. Just as he’s about to tell him to go, Akito speaks.

“Look, I- I’m sorry.”

Toya doesn’t reply. The apology means nothing. He’s ninety percent sure Akito’s just saying that because things are awkward, anyways.

“You’re not.”

“I am. Just- can you come out?”

Toya thinks for a second. He should say no, maybe tell Akito to shut up, but he’s always been weak to Akito’s requests. With a shaky hand, he stands and unlocks the door.

Sure enough, Akito is standing right outside. Toya doesn't dare meet his eyes, instead gazing just past him at the sinks. He's aware of how ugly his face is, but can't be brought to care. This may have been one of the worst weeks of his life, all thanks to the man before him.

“Toya, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said all that crap.”

But you did, Toya thinks to himself.

Sensing his unwillingness to talk, Akito continues. “I get if you hate me, but-”

“I don't hate you.” Toya shakes his head. Even without looking directly, he can practically see Akito's surprise.

“You don't?” he asks. Toya bites his lip.

“I'm… mad, but,” he gathers the courage to meet Akito's pretty green eyes for a second. “I don't hate you.” I don't think I ever could.

Toya's given up on shame, embarrassment, all the emotions that he's tried to keep in check. This is his opportunity to lay everything bare and see what Akito thinks.

“Oh,” Akito breathes, stunned. “I don't- I don't hate you, either,” he admits.

Toya isn't sure whether to laugh or retreat back into the bathroom stall. He lets out a sharp breath. “The way I acted was immature and thoughtless. I'm sorry.”

“No, wait. I was the one being a bitch. I never listened to what you wanted.” Akito interjects. Toya averts his eyes again.

“I didn't express what I wanted clearly, anyways. It wasn't all your fault.” He pauses. “But I'm sorry. I never intended for things to end like that.”

Akito shifts on his feet. “Yeah.”

An awkward tension passes between them before Toya decides to bite the bullet. He takes a deep breath.

“Akito, I miss being your friend,” he declares into the silence. “I don't even care if we're not dating, and maybe things are better that way, but-” the back of his throat burns and his eyes sting, but the dam is open. “You're my best friend, and I- I get if you don't feel the same, but… I miss you, and I just- I just want things to go back the way they were.” The tears overflow, but he's quick to wipe them with his sleeve.

Akito stares, cold and hard, processing the information. Toya watches him for a moment before his chest deflates and he dissolves into tears.

He's too tired to stay silent this time. Tired of loneliness, tired of sleepless nights, tired of the overwhelming sadness that holds its grip firm. Quiet sobs escape him as he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Suddenly, warm arms wrap around his torso. Toya lowers his hands to rest on Akito's arms and cries into his shoulder, savoring the familiarity.

It takes a while to calm down, but Toya manages to take a deep breath after a couple minutes. Akito's grip loosens, forcing him to lift his head and look the redhead in the eyes.

“I missed you too,” Akito says with a soft smile. Toya pulls him into another crushing hug, one hand traveling to Akito's head and holding him close.

“Hey, Toya,” Akito taps him on the back after a couple seconds. “I didn't mean what I said about… everything. You're not cold or arrogant. I was just an asshole.”

“It's alright,” Toya replies. His heart softens. “I deserved it. I assumed you knew what to do, even though my communication was poor at best.”

“No, you didn't deserve it.” Akito mumbles into Toya's shoulder. Toya shakes his head.

“I was really rude to you, Akito. That's inexcusable. And it was my fault that we-”

“Shush. Enough apologies, okay?” Akito releases the boy. “Plus, hate to break it to you, but we're kind of in a public bathroom.”

Toya looks around as if recalling his surroundings. “Oh.”

His gaze wanders back to Akito's. They blink at each other before erupting into laughter. It's ridiculous how such a bad week ended so… ridiculously.

“My face looks terrible,” Toya notes as he catches himself in the mirror. He touches deep eye bags, unusually pale skin, and red-rimmed eyes.

“Your face looks fine,” Akito replies, grabbing him by the arm. “Let's get outta here.”

Toya lets himself be dragged out of the washroom. Before they meet the others, though, Akito stops, pulling them off to the side.

“Hey, just checking - we’re good, right?” he asks, looking Toya in the eyes.

“I hope so,” Toya replies. Akito hums.

“So… are we, like, dating again?”

Toya goes quiet. “What about the guy you were texting earlier?”

“I don't really like him.” Akito says quickly, fidgeting with his hoodie. “I only got his number ‘cause…” his voice drops to a mumble. “I don't know. I wasn't thinking.”

Toya nods. He sort of gets it. These weeks have been weird. He thinks about their current situation, noting how just having Akito close feels like more than enough, despite how badly he wanted to kiss him earlier. Toya takes a breath before speaking.

“I don't think I'm ready to date,” he admits quietly. Akito tenses in front of him.

“Okay,” he replies after a short silence. “Y’know, me too. I guess some time would be good. Still kinda shaken up from the whole…” He lifts his hand, gesturing vaguely.

Toya can’t help but feel bad. He bites his lip. “I’m sorry.”

“‘S okay. I forgive you.” Akito ruffles his hair just like he used to. “Still friends?”

“Mhm.” Toya smiles. Just as he’s about to suggest going back, an exasperated voice breaks the bubble of peace around them.

“Oh my god,” An groans. “We thought you guys killed each other!”

Akito removes his hand from Toya’s head. “Nah.”

“Weren’t you going to tell them I was coming back?” Toya remembers, pinching Akito’s cheek. Akito huffs, batting him away.

“Sorry, I was busy making up with my partner.”

“You made up?” Kohane smiles. “I'm so happy for you!”

“Yeah, yeah. Can't practice if we're fighting.” Akito grabs Toya's hand and begins leading them to the stage. The girls follow after exchanging knowing smirks.

｡•☆✧♡✧☆•｡

After a week of warming up to each other again, Toya realizes he's fallen in love with Akito. It's not that he ever stopped loving him exactly, but he's rediscovered why he fell in the first place. Akito's face, laugh, the sweet expressions that only Toya gets to see, the way he talks about things that excite him with such passion - Toya missed them. He missed the real Akito.

That's why, on a Friday night after one of their ‘hang outs’ (it was a date, but Toya can't call them that since they're not technically dating. He plans to change that soon), Toya hesitates at the intersection before they part ways.

“See ya, partner,” Akito says as per usual, letting go of Toya's hand and holding it up for a fist bump. Toya weakly reciprocates, mind elsewhere.

“Wait, Akito,” he says, heart pounding as he looks at the boy.

“Yeah?” Akito replies.

Toya isn't exactly sure what to do, so he silently cups the redhead's face in hope that he gets the hint. Thankfully, it seems to click immediately. Green eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't pull away - if anything, Akito subtly leans in, which is enough of a yes for Toya to smile softly and close the gap between them.

It’s a slow, tentative brush of their lips at first, but it makes Toya’s heart feel inexplicably warm. The kiss deepens as they gain confidence, and soon enough Toya is being firmly grabbed by the head and pulled impossibly closer. He doesn't fight it.

When they break away for air, they're both smiling like idiots.

“When d’you have to be back?” Akito asks breathlessly.

“Ten,” Toya replies.

“Come to my house,” Akito blurts. “We can keep, like,” He blushes but continues the failed sentence. “I dunno. Making out ‘n shit.”

Toya chuckles and links arms with Akito. His partner. His boyfriend. “Sounds good.”