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Humans need connection. That is a fact of life. It need not be romantic, but it should be positive. To deny oneself any meaningful connections would be folly. To act aloof and not work on the connections one might have is equally foolish.
But just sometimes, someone might not know how to ask for connections. Especially in times of great change. This is what Albert began to observe when the team was at Dr. Kozumi’s home. One late afternoon while he had been flirting with Jett, the man had been distracted by 009, or Joe, who had been ‘sulking’ on the cliffs alone for the past hour. Albert had told Jett that surely, 009 was taking time to adjust to just having lost everything, and needed time to think on it. Jett had agreed, if only reluctantly.
As the days progressed, more things inevitably happened. With the manhunt from Black Death, how could it not? If it was not one thing, it was another. It was only through sheer force of will and Chang’s cooking that the team was able to continue on as they did through the beginning. It gave them enough time to start to find their teamwork better with 009. But that’s how Albert saw the cracks forming.
009, or really Joe, didn't exactly interact with anyone. Okay- he did, but he didn't really linger. The only time he genuinely touched anyone for more than two seconds was when he was using his acceleration to help the team. So Albert decided he needed to approach Joe much like a cat. He liked cats. Hell, Jett was like a cat. And he very much liked Jett.
So step one, start off with treats. Keep his distance.
“Hey Joe, you're about to take off for patrol right?” Albert waved to him and walked up to the teen, who had stopped to fasten his scarf in place.
“Yes. Just a short one. I will be back in just an hour or two. Did you need something? Was there anything I needed to keep an eye out for?” Joe was still a little formal in how he spoke to everyone, and offered without really asking in return.
Albert waved his hand. “No, no. Just wanted to offer you a snack for the road.” Albert held up a small baggie of cookies. Not too sweet, and a little tart. “Chang was trying out some recipes in the kitchen so he's passing them out so he can make room for the next batch.”
Which was a complete lie. Yes, Albert absolutely roped Chang into this asinine plan of his, who had noticed that Joe also didn't eat enough for the amount of fighting and acceleration he did. According to Dr. Gilmore, acceleration used up a lot of energy, and consistent acceleration struck at his health. The only reason Joe seemed okay was due his background of apparently lack of food and willfully ignoring it. Dr. Gilmore himself confirmed how malnourished the teen was when Black Ghost took him, and the surgeries had ended up being a risk at one point. So that meant Albert suggested giving Joe frequent snacks, and Chang was more than happy to help. Which led to here.
“If he insists,” Joe didn't smile, but he seemed to accept this truth positively, and took the bag. “Thank you, Albert.”
“Try one now. So I can give Chang a quick review since he wanted to start again soon,” Albert might not be a spy but he was a damn good liar. He spoke casually as to keep Joe unaware but pressure him into eating so he wouldn't be running on nothing, since the lad had skipped lunch.
Joe was nice enough to heed his words and picked one cookie out from the bag, only nibbling on it before realizing he liked it, and promptly ate the whole thing. Score one for Albert.
“That was wonderful,” Joe lit up, if only just a bit, as he gave his review to Albert. Albert wanted to preen but he pushed it down. This was very good. Even if Joe would only eat one, it was more than nothing. Fed was best.
“I'll be sure to tell Chang then. Thanks for humoring him,” and Albert. At a later date he would try to ask what Joe liked. No need to give him any idea that it was only for him. “Now be careful out there. It'll be dark soon.”
Joe nodded and stuffed the bag into his pocket. “I will. I'll be on comms if anything comes up,” He waved to Albert and took off.
Now, if Albert could keep this up, then he might be able to get Joe on the metaphorical porch of friendship in no time. And if Joe had a small bag of cookies on him for the next few days of patrol, then Albert and Chang had nothing to really say, but they shook hands for a job well done.
A week later, Albert decided to take the next step.
Step two: pets. Or in this case, casual touch.
Joe was prone to going off on his own, walking around and staring out at who knew what, just like a cat. But nothing good came from brooding alone and not sharing his burden. Joe was still on the outskirts of the team, perhaps more so despite having known the team and fought alongside them.
Albert’s next step came when Joe came back inside, well after dinner. He kept an eye out to make sure Joe was on the way back and started his plan. He made sure to boil some water and made some tea, something from Dr. Kozumi’s collection. He wasn't too sure what it was, but Dr. Kozumi said it wasn't too bitter so it should be fine. Albert would have preferred some coffee but maybe he can have Joe try that later if this first attempt works.
A few seconds later, Joe walked through the back door. “Welcome back, Joe.” Albert called from the kitchen. Joe peeked his head through the door, the week of treat giving seemingly made the newest cyborg relax around him more. Good. “I was making tea when I saw you on your way back. Why don't you join me?” Albert held up the second cup.
“Alright, thank you,” Joe paused, still unsure of what to call him, his mouth opening and closing, apprehension clear on his face. From the way everyone switched from their designated cyborg names to their given human names, it could be hard to tell what to call someone.
“Just call me Albert. We’re not in uniform, it’s not a mission, so no need for code names,” Albert walked over and gave Joe a cup of tea with one hand, and gently put his other hand on the teen’s shoulder. He hoped the reassurance in tune with the contact would put Joe at ease, and also have Joe associate touch with positive context.
“Right, not in uniform…so thank you… Albert,” Joe agreed and nodded along. He didn’t smile, he rarely did, most of his smiles were forced in a way to try and put people at ease, but none were just from him feeling content or happy. That was another thing Albert wanted to work on. But one thing at a time. The metaphorical cat was still on the porch.
Albert gently nudged Joe towards the table so they could sit. He brought his own cup over and sat opposite of Joe, so as to not overcrowd him. It wasn’t as bad as when Joe first got here, stiff whenever he sat, as he tried to figure out his own body and his place amongst a team of people who clearly knew each other already. But he was still very stiff.
Albert let Joe sit there for a bit, and take a sip before he tried to force any conversation. The point was that this would be positive and put Joe at ease, so Albert had to take it easy. “A warm drink helps me after I’ve been out in the wind or a night patrol,” He started out, not making it seem like he was trying to coddle Joe at all. “Even if I wasn’t a cyborg, a cold wind in my face is only so refreshing before it just chills me to the bone.”
Joe seemed to relax his shoulders just a bit as Albert talked, he took a sip of his tea before he replied. “That’s …yes. I think this might be what I needed, it was pretty cold outside,” Joe took another sip.
The two lapsed into an actually comfortable silence for a short while, Joe’s concentration on the cup in front of him, and Albert’s concentration on both the window and Joe. Near the end of the cup, Albert got up. “I need another cup, want me to make you another as well?” As much as Albert wanted to get him more without asking, Joe needed to have a choice still.
“Yes, please.” another score for Albert. He nodded and left for the kitchen again.
Luckily the water was still hot so he made the tea. While he waited this time, he grabbed a plate and reached into the newly minted ‘Cookie Jar’ (or Joe’s Treat Jar, as Chang had called it) and stacked a number of them onto the plate. This new flavour had gone over quite well. A shortbread cookie seemed to be Joe’s favorite. As Albert walked out of the kitchen, he placed the tea cups in front of each man’s spot and he made sure to place the plate of cookies right in the middle between them.
“Help yourself. I grabbed a handful. I want to be able to actually savor these before Great Britain finishes them all off.” Great Britain didn’t actually have the biggest sweet tooth. But Joe wouldn’t know that yet. Since he had stopped coming for most meals. He still ate, but just one meal. It was somehow getting worse, there had to be some sort of food insecurity or anxiety issue Joe was dealing with. Albert just had to find the reason and fix it. At least he had gotten Joe used to snacktime so he was consuming more than a single meal.
“Thank you,” Joe easily took one cookie for himself. “All of Chang’s cookie attempts have been delicious. There hasn’t been a single bad batch.” Joe’s shoulders relaxed even more as he began to eat. Thankfully he didn’t stop at just one cookie, he ate five. Albert congratulated himself quietly as he talked with Joe, sipping his tea and watching Joe eat more than the bare minimum. He’d definitely have to tell Chang about this.
By the time the tea and the cookies were gone, Joe looked very relaxed. He leaned on one arm as he listened to Albert talk about German landscapes for the past half hour. Tonight was a big success.
The clock struck eleven just then, startling Joe out of his cozy posture. He stiffened up once again, now on alert. “Looks like it’s later than I thought,” Albert looked up and sighed. “I’ll clean up here. But you should head to bed, Joe.”
“Yes, I think so. Thank you again for the tea, Albert,” Joe spoke quietly, remembering it was now rather late at night. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Joe.” Albert stood up and gave the teen’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before gathering the dishes to clean up. The gesture seemed to soothe Joe.
One more score for the book.
The next few days were busy and Albert made sure to give just a soft, reassuring touch to Joe when he could, as well as his snacks. Coaxing the teen to join the team for meal time was not working, but Chang was working on something else to see if maybe Joe had an allergy that was the issue.
But then Dr. Kozumi was kidnapped.
Then 0013 came. And the team had to leave Dr. Kozumi’s home to find 0013’s cybernetic brain. There was no soft home anymore.
The Dolphin wasn't so bad. It was rather nice. But the quiet routine Albert had started to set Joe on was gone. He just hoped that he hadn’t lost all his progress.
It was the early morning after their run-in with all the jellyfish that Albert found Joe alone in one of the quieter hallways of The Dolphin. Joe was sitting on the ground, hands clutched together in his lap.
“Joe?” Albert made sure to stand some distance away when he asked, just in case Joe was feeling skittish or nontalkative.
“I’m in uniform, 004. It’s 009 right now,” Joe spoke, low and sharp. He opened his mouth to say something else and paused, and shut his mouth. He didn’t look up at Albert, but he didn’t run away either. Instead, Joe hunched his shoulders as though he was trying to hide.
“Right, you are in uniform, 009. But the mission’s over.” Albert slowly walked over, before kneeling in front of Joe. “It’s a bit stuffy, can I help you take off your scarf? You might feel better if you loosen it at least.”
Albert didn’t move to touch the article of clothing but he lifted his hand for Joe to see.
Joe nodded after a minute of silence.
Albert moved slowly, his stray cat back to being just a bit skittish. 009 hadn’t talked about the details about what happened with 0013. Sure, he talked about the fight and that 0013 had died, but not before telling him and the team about the cybernetic brain and all the information about Black Ghost it had on there.
With caution, Albert slowly moved his hands until he had both on the scarf. He made sure Joe was watching before he moved more. 009 let his eyes shut and Albert took it as approval. He loosened the scarf from 009’s neck, tugging at it methodically, while he watched the teen’s face for any sign of discomfort or fear. Careful not to rip the fabric or brush against his face Albert removed it.
He folded the scarf up neatly and placed it in front of Joe. Right where he could see it. Finally, Albert moved, sitting down next to the teen and placed a hand on Joe’s upper back, making sure he felt its warmth.
Joe looked down and squeezed his hands much more tightly. “0013 asked me for my name, my real name, when he lay dying…”
The statement was unexpected but Albert wasn’t going to stop Joe from speaking. He nodded. And started to slowly, gently rub his hand down and up Joe’s back. Just a soft repetitive motion. Something grounding.
“He clutched my hand. And I told him my name. Joe Shimamura. I asked him for his name but- but he died. He lasted just long enough to hear my name and then he died…” Joe’s hands shook from the force of how hard he was clutching them together, fingertips digging hard against the back of his hands. His voice was cracking. Joe’s eyes shut and he grit his teeth. He took a deep, shuddering breath.
Albert remained quiet, he let Joe continue.
“And I don’t know how to feel. We were fighting, but he didn’t really hurt me. Well, he did. But he didn’t want to. He let me go, Albert. And he didn’t want any civilians to be hurt. He was doing his best to do that. But then he also kissed me and I still don’t get why!”
Albert’s eyebrows shot up at that statement. Oh, this was new! He refused to let the surprise show otherwise and continued to soothe Joe but he looked at Joe for any new distress, and there was plenty.
“And I think he would’ve joined. Joined us, I mean. He didn’t want to work for Black Ghost. He blocked a shot that was meant to hurt me. I think I’m supposed to feel a kind of way- like glad he’s dead because he was the enemy but I’m just so sad about him. I didn’t even know 0013 that long. But he felt familiar and I liked him- my heart aches and he was so kind to me and I couldn’t…I couldn’t save him. I- I should be fast enough! I should’ve been even faster,” Joe started to cry after his rambling, silent tears spilling down his face. He bit his lip.
Albert continued to rub his hand down Joe’s back. He let the teen cry it out in the dim lighting of the hallway, making sure to keep an ear out so no one would scare Joe away from actual emotional openness. Albert was sure there was even more to this but he couldn’t press now. One step at a time.
“You did your best. And that’s all you can do. But don’t beat yourself up over it,” Albert spoke softly, soothing Joe with his words as well, his hand never stopping. “It’s not your fault, it’s Black Ghost’s fault.”
Joe nodded.
“0013 followed his own code, he wanted you to live and took himself out in the end, he stopped following Black Ghost’s orders. So don’t blame yourself. We’ll get back at Black Ghost. But for now it’s alright to be sad about who we can’t save. It’s okay to feel.” Albert changed to rub slow circles on Joe’s back, his shoulders finally untensing. Albert’s hand smoothed over muscles and a spine that was a little too boney for his liking, attempting to gently prompt Joe to let go and relax more.
“It’s okay, Joe. I’m right here,” Albert soothed. Joe’s hands finally loosened their death grip. “I'm right here.”
Even if he did not move closer, he made sure to stay where Joe could see him and kept rubbing the teen’s back.
“Okay…” Joe let out a sniffle before falling silent. Albert continued to soothe Joe. And if the two of them were there for the rest of the morning, Albert didn’t care. He would make sure that Joe had all the time he needed to cry it out. The Dolphin was already being piloted and no one was attacking them. It was okay to be here.
—
Albert wasn’t sure how to proceed with step three.
Step three being- let the cat come to you, pick up the cat, and pet it. In this case- hugs.
At this point the metaphorical ball was in Joe’s court. There was only so much Albert could do, but he wouldn’t cross this boundary unless he needed to. Yet it was easy enough to see that Joe now welcomed Albert’s touch. Just like a cat. He tilted his head up into Albert’s hand when he ruffled the teen’s hair. He also perked up when Albert came into the room. Sometimes Joe would even lean into a shoulder or arm touch. Albert brimmed with pride.
Even better, he didn't stiffen up all the time. Chang was able to get close to Joe now. As well as Geronimo, whose calm demeanor seemed to put Joe at ease. The rest, as much as they liked Joe, seemed to scare him still. It was a work in progress. But, it was okay. They had time.
It all came to a head one night after another run in with Black Ghost. Albert was in bed in a different part of the ship. There were plenty of quarters that had beds so they all spread out, just a bit, to give each other a semblance of privacy. He laid there looking up at the ceiling, soaking in the fact he was still alive. Despite having lost most of himself, he was still here. Tonight was one of those nights. Or it was. When Albert heard a small tap at the door. The dim lights from the hallway outside shone in on the floor before someone blocked it.
Immediately Albert recognized it as Joe. He crept in and slowly, softly, made his way over to where Albert laid.
“Albert? Are you awake?” Joe whispered. His voice was just a little shaky.
For all his enhancements, Joe couldn't see in the dark, nor could he hide his fear well.
“Yeah, I'm awake. What's wrong, Joe? What do you need?” Albert turned his head to see Joe in the darkness.
Joe stood there for a moment, unsure how to answer. “May I sit here, please?”
Not the question he expected. But okay. Sure. Albert patted the mattress. “Of course you can,” Albert drawled softly. Sleepiness hanging onto him. “You can stay here as long as you like.”
Hesitantly, Joe sat down on the edge of the bed. Then he began to fidget. Joe twiddled his fingers, glancing at Albert then down to his feet and back again.
“Do you want to talk about something?” Albert would do his best to let Joe make the first move but he also wouldn't just lay there silently. Not for this. Not for any of his team. Albert let his hand lay out, palm up. Just in case Joe needed to touch.
Joe nodded. Clearly, he was embarrassed- but trusted Albert enough to admit something was wrong. He took a minute to say anything. Albert, for his part, kept his hand in place and remained calm.
“I-” Joe looked down, gripping his hands tightly together, his voice hesitant. “I had a nightmare…and I wanted to check up on everyone. To make sure you were all okay.”
Albert understood. “I get that. It's rough.” Yet he also sensed something else. Something fragile underneath Joe’s confession. He waited.
Joe glanced over again and saw Albert’s hand, taking it quickly and squeezed. Albert gripped back. Reassurance. Comfort. He was there.
It took another moment for Joe to come back with his thoughts. Anything personal remained close to the teen's heart. Even Ivan, for as nosy as he is, tried his best not to say much about Joe's personal life. Joe squeezed his hand again.
“You’re okay?” Worry laced Joe’s voice. “You're not hiding anything?”
“No. I'm fine, Joe. The only thing I am is tired and you're not bothering anyone at all,” Albert responded in kind, keeping his voice calm as could be.
Joe looked at Albert for another moment, his expression apprehensive, before he moved. Albert feared the worst when Joe let go of his hand, worried Joe was going to hide and lick his wounds alone again. But Joe didn’t. He lowered himself down until his head was on Albert's chest. Head over Albert’s heart. His hands clutching at Albert’s shirt for dear life.
This- this was more than a hug. This was full on contact. Albert's mind was split between his plan of socializing Joe and what was currently happening. Yet while his mind was preoccupied, his arms moved and wrapped around Joe. Muddled brain be damned, his body knew what to do at least.
“Something else is going on, isn't there?” Albert whispered. His brow furrowed as he saw Joe worry at his lip.
Joe kept quiet, looking off at something Albert couldn’t see, something not really there physically. “Part of the dream was the night when I fell off the cliff,” Joe said, closing his eyes. “When Black Ghost took me.”
Albert kept quiet but rubbed his hands along Joe’s back. He would let Joe take his time again, however long was needed. Though the silence was deafening.
Joe took a breath before he continued. “It sounds weird, I know it is. Reliving it- what happened to me- in my sleep, it happens and I feel so…so disconnected from it. From myself. It happened and I can look at myself and know it happened but it still feels so unreal. Like that's not me. Or it's some sort of movie…What scares me are the sounds. The crash of the waves, the thunder, the machinery…the people talking above me.”
Joe gripped tighter and tighter at Albert’s shirt, he started to shake. Albert pulled Joe closer in response. He tucked Joe’s head in against his shoulder. Like Albert could shield him from it all.
“I didn't think of it much after. There was 001, Ivan, in my head. And running away, the fighting. But- but even at Dr. Kozumi's place, when it thundered I just sat up in bed. It was that sound that brought it back and made it feel real. It's the crashing waves outside now. I can literally look at my body and see the changes done to me but it still feels like I'm not…looking at my own arm. I'm looking at someone else's arm. But the sounds make it real. And everything starts to jumble in my head with the fear…and then I'm not sure how to move. I'm scared of something that can't even touch me…”
Joe's voice became smaller and smaller like he was trying to run away from his own voice. Like admitting it out into the air made it more real than hiding it.
“Is that stupid, Albert?” Joe’s asked, his voice muffled as he pressed his face against Albert’s shoulder.
Albert felt his heart ache. He pressed his nose against Joe’s hair, clinging to his teammate tighter. Joe’s skittishness, his fears and worries, all of his doubts- this vulnerability, it made Albert wish he could hide Joe in his ribcage now made of bone and metal. Maybe this altered body could at least be used to shield someone properly.
He was nothing like her, no one was, no one ever could be. Still, the same apprehension was written on them both, separated by over forty years, Hilda and Joe. It was with Hilda on his mind that Albert found he could reply. “No, no it’s not stupid. Never. What Black Ghost did to you, to us, no one can even begin to imagine what it’s like. There’s no proper way to mourn what we’ve lost or to confront what’s scared us. There is no one in the world quite like us…how could you not be scared? How could it not be confusing?”
Albert sighed softly into Joe’s hair. The smell of overheated machinery and seawater stuck to them both. Despite what one might think, it wasn't a bad smell. The press of flesh and metal parts were obvious to him too, as they clung to each other, but he didn’t care. Albert brought his legs up, feet flat on the bed and legs hoisting Joe further into his lap, closer still, where he could make sure the teen was safe. If he could be like a shield, he would.
“I don’t have an answer really, Joe. Not a proper answer. But- you can’t hide this fear. It’ll eat you alive. You have a team. Please, you need to rely on them for more than just battle. You’re the newest member, sure, but they want to know you so badly. They care, I care.” Albert nuzzled Joe’s hair. It was like a cat’s fur…soft and fluffy. His analogy from weeks ago now wasn’t wrong. Joe was a scared, lonely cat with sharp claws. He could take care of himself no problem. But, Albert wanted to help take care of him. Even cats aren't meant to be alone.
“Let us in. It doesn’t have to be all at once. Just a little bit at a time. Like right now. Please, Joe,” Albert pleaded.
Joe laid there in Albert’s grip in silence for a while. He couldn’t see it, but Albert could feel something wet at his shoulder where Joe’s face was, and he could fathom a guess. He didn’t remark on it. Not unless Joe said something first.
“Can I stay the night?” Joe asked.
“Of course.” Albert let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Albert would let Joe stay every night if he asked. More than willing to let their fastest team member slow down and breathe in his arms.
“Can I stay right here?” Joe sounded embarrassed as he asked.
Albert let out a chuckle. “There’s no way I’d let you move right now. I need this hug just as much as you.”
And Albert did. As much as he wanted to support Joe, Albert loved the feeling of physical contact. Many of his senses were dulled from the augmentations, but he could still feel it. He craved it. It was a reminder that he was human too.
“I think I’m okay with that.” Joe said. “It sounds nice…thank you, Albert.”
“Anytime, Joe.” Albert’s relief and happiness was palpable.
Joe made a small noise and Albert paused. “Can- is it alright to ask you to talk for a bit? The waves are quieter in here but…”
Albert didn't need Joe to finish his question to know what he meant. Albert happily agreed. “Yeah, I can do that.”
Gently, slowly, Albert started to knead at the back of Joe’s neck to help him with the last bit of tension. The last remnants of stress started to melt under his hand. He started mumbling about whatever, about his favorite brand of coffee, the feeling of cycling. What sorts of games he played with the team lived with Dr. Kozumi, a nice painting he remembered seeing, and the last book he read. All mundane, everyday life things. His ramblings had helped Joe before in relaxing, and Joe knew that. Wanted to hear that again.
Joe hummed and pressed his face right into Albert’s neck. His arms no longer clutching at Albert's shirt but wrapped around him in a proper hug. It was pleasantly warm and comforting.
Albert wasn’t sure how long he prattled on, but it did the trick. He could feel the slow rhythm of Joe’s breathing against his neck and the now loose hold of his arms. Even then, Albert let himself continue to talk. He talked about Hilda, and how nice it was to share meals with the team, the kindness of Dr. Gilmore. As Albert started to drift he focused on the physical sensations. The weight and warmth of another pressing down on him was nice. The closeness that was so graciously given after earning Joe's trust. The last thought he had for the night was how nice it is to be human, even if only partially. How nice it was to care and be cared about in return.