Actions

Work Header

My Purpose

Summary:

Jonathan used to wonder what freedom, relief, and having peace of mind feels like.

But he also forgot how important and beautiful human connection could be.

(aka a fic where it's never too late and there's still hope in the midst of chaos)

Notes:

hello!! it's been a while and uhh I made a dad fic with the whimsy trio (kinda) with PGD!

hehe tho let me tell you it's not perfect. but, I hope you guys would enjoy this fic of mine! ^_^

and also, I made this fic in english (although, english is not my first language so it's not perfect and it probably has grammar errors)

im still editing things and still getting used to AO3 when it comes to posting fics so there's some changes but this chapter is already—more or less—done

and probably will be also adding more specific tags so yeah... (not now tho I'm hella sleep deprived)

I will be clarifying some details at the end of this chapter too soo check that out!

anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this one ❤️

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Jonathan used to wonder what freedom, relief, and having peace of mind feels like. 

 

Ever since the infection spread like a wild fire, all he does is either run away or hide in a corner hoping that either someone/some group—rather his former group—successfully clears that out or the decayed ones decide to go away. 

 

Yeah, he's always been like that. Nothing but a good-ol' coward. God, he misses his parents so much. And that church. (Sucks that God didn't actually exist. Or probably abandoned us.)

 

Honestly speaking, the Survivors(?) should be his second home, after his parents died, and yet all of them are even far worse than the decayed ones. He would rather die or be one of them instead of stuck with this group if he wasn't coward enough. 

 

It's actually a good thing he came back to Paradise City—even though that place is one hundred percent worse than ever. 

 

Because he wouldn't meet those two whimsy people. One's too forgetful, and the other seems too naive. 

 

And now, due to his cowardice and his avoidant attachment issues, not only 4C is now dead—God, he's too guilty to think about that—and he entrusted the Hostel group to take care of Spidey, much to his distrust of everyone.

 

And on top of that, he even burned the Church he was accustomised on for so long. (He kind of wanted to do this actually, but surprised, he's a coward.) Just for stopping Spidey from finding him. 

 

'Find a new purpose, one that doesn't drag you down.’ He said it to Spidey some time after 4C died. He hopes Spidey will take that advice and will never bother him again.

 

Now, he's just wandering around, thinking about ending. He can't do this anymore. He can't. 

 

Yet for the last time, in hopes of finding a cure or gathering information, just in case there might be still a hope to stop this madness once and for all—even though that's impossible to achieve. And he was proven right once again. 

 

Also, he just managed to shake off another person who seemingly wants to hang out with him. (Seriously, why? Just why?)

 

Now, he's just here on the rooftop of a tall building, just seemingly enjoying the sunset even if it's raining—God, he used to watch it with them—before he decided to end his—

 

“WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.” 

 

'Who was that?’ Jonathan thought as he immediately snapped his attention to that laugh. Only to realize who. 

 

“The fuck, is that Chuck?” Jonathan said. 

 

Jonathan looked around and saw a figure of Chuck appeared, though, it's flickering.

 

“Chuck?” Jonathan said much louder and as he tried to go near him, the figure completely disappeared. 

 

And it happened over and over again. For a while. Jonathan tries to get near to him as soon as he sees him, and Chuck just appears and disappears as he giggles like a maniac. 

 

Although they haven't quite interacted now, and each of their interactions is purely bullshit, Jonathan can't help but still worry and do care for Chuck, much as he would rather deny that fact.

 

“Chuck, where are you?” Jonathan worriedly said. “Chuck, I can see you. What are you trying to say?” He asked.

 

The figure of Chuck appeared once again, and Jonathan quickly reacts to it and tries to get near the figure. But Chuck keeps running away. 

 

Jonathan thought he's getting insane. 

 

‘You can't normally imagine someone. But that was Chuck, was it?’

 

Jonathan looked down for a while, trying to process what just happened. Then look around if the figure appeared again. It didn't. 

 

“The fuck is going on? I don't know- Chuck- What are you trying to do? Talk it out” He asked, confused as he tried to check every corner.

 

“There's no cure. Nothing. It's kinda…just a waste. I mean like- HAHAH you know, doesn't matter.”

 

“What are you gonna do?” He genuinely asked. “What? We spent 30, 40 years and yet you got murdered by the same people who act like heroes. They think they know the cure!” 

 

He voices his thoughts, one that was kept in his mind for a while ever since Chuck died, and he didn't actually open up in people for a long time, and yet he ended up doing that to a person who's already dead.

 

His rambling interrupted as Chuck giggled once again.

 

‘'Chuck, what are you trying to say?” He frustratingly questioned. But nothing. He didn't hear anything—except for the raindrops. 

 

He looks around and realizes there's no sunrise anymore. He sighed.

 

“What are you trying to say? At this point it's all waste. It's just a fable of my imagination. There's no evidence you're real, alright? Don't care.” He said frustratingly.

 

And he heard those chuckles, again. 

 

There's no figure, yet there's something. He goes near it to realize it's a sign. 

 

He reads it. 

'Don't blame yourself.”

 

As soon as he saw it, the sign immediately disappeared. 

 

'Fuck' 

 

He turns around only to see another sign. This time it's says ;

 

“do it for them.”

 

“What? Who's them? What do you mean?” Jonathan snapped to a flickering figure of Chuck. He tries to get near and finds out he's not disappearing. But the moment he got really close, the figure immediately disappeared.

 

As Jonathan processes the messages, he slowly realises how Spidey and 4c…. actually mattered to him. How he actually cherished those moments that he spent with them. 

 

He turns around to see another sign. It's says ;

 

“live for them.”

 

And, Chuck….is right. He's truly right. He didn't manage to save 4c and Chuck, but Spidey… is still alive. 

 

He should've applied that piece of advice to himself.

 

Now, he needs to find Spidey. And maybe also say thank you to Chuck. Fortunately, their location is both in the building that the Hostel group is staying in. 

 

And he doesn't care how far his destination is. What matters now is he saw Spidey safe and sound. 

 

Though, it's a miracle that the location isn't actually that far. The decayed ones are truly pain in the ass, though.

 

But, he doesn't care anymore. 

 

Again, the most important thing for him right now is to find Spidey. 

 

When he reached the location, there's no one there. He searched everywhere to find Spidey—or even someone who can tell him where she is. Yet, there's no one.

 

Well, at least he got to thank Chuck first. (He had to calm himself down.)

 

As he reaches Chuck's grave, he looks at it for a while before reading the sign above it. “A good friend to all..a great scientist….Well, thank you, I guess.” 

 

He suddenly noticed how hungry he was, so he hopes the Hostel Group won't mind if he steals some carrots. Yet, a flickering figure of Chuck appeared once again.

 

That figure also disappears as soon as he goes near. (At this point, are they playing tag or something?)

 

Yet he still wonders why Chuck would help him in the first place, and what was truly his purpose. And as much as he already knows the answer, he wanted to be sure.

 

“Why did you do that Chuck? Why? What's my purpose?” He asked very sadly, with a raspy voice. “I- I need a reason.”

 

He looks about the area, trying to find anything that could give him an answer. Yet there's nothing.

 

“I need a reason.” 

 

He then decided to stand on a corner and unfortunately, a bit lost. 

 

“People died there, Chuck died here. Everyone fucking dies. And now, I don't even know where Spidey is.” 

 

As he lamented, he heard someone placed a sign and he turned around to see what it said. 

 

“do it for her.”

 

“Yeah. Okay”

 

He processed that message as the rain finally stopped. 

 

He finally realized what's his purpose now. Fully realized. No doubts. And no running away, again. (From the problems, not from the decayed ones.) 

 

He's a coward, sure. But it doesn't mean he should be running away from things too quickly. It doesn't mean that that will be the case forever. 

 

He's gonna be there for Spidey. No matter what.

 

“Okay. Find her. She's out there all alone.” 

 

He decided to go down and finally started to search for her. But, as he was going down. He heard someone maniacly chuckled. And he looks to see a figure of Chuck looking back at him. 

 

'I guess that's how he says good luck and goodbye now. Thank you, and goodbye, Chuck.’ He thought before finally going back down and going to the first location that Spidey could've been gone to.

 

The Church he owned. His first home.

 

He may never feel freedom and relief yet, but he somehow felt peace of mind wherever they're with him.

 

Well again, he didn't manage to save 4c and Chuck, but Spidey… is still alive. He hopes she's still alive.

 

Notes:

for any clarification or something like that, please do comment

(OH Jonathan and Chuck's relationship can be seen in either romantic or platonically way and uhhh it's up to u guys)

and also your feedback will be appreciated

(and also dw the state 2.5 fic will be updated in this weekend sooo stay tuned hehe)

thank uu for reading 🫶