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It started with a stray splash potion and a very poorly timed jump from Wemmbu.
Now, the most chaotic member of the server is three feet tall, missing his front teeth, and thinks the Ender Dragon is a "big kitty." KJ just wanted to finish his base.
Instead, he’s now the primary caregiver for a five-year-old and eight "unhelpful" teenagers who are one step away from teaching the kid how to grief.
"I’m just saying," Flamefrags leaned against the doorframe, watching as Wemmbu tried to eat a glistering melon whole.
"He’s smaller, which means he’s more aerodynamic. We could probably launch him with a TNT cannon."
"No one is launching the child, Flame," KJ groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
He gently pried the melon away from Wemmbu, who let out a high-pitched indignant shriek.
"I wanna go fast!" Wemmbu declared, his oversized hoodie sleeves flopping as he gestured wildly. Jumper looked up from a pile of blocks.
"I mean, technically, if we use a slime block launcher—"
"Jumper, no," KJ warned.
"Jumper, yes," Pentar and Yungy cheered in unison from the corner, already crafting the pistons.
Render adjusted his view, the red light of his recording device blinking.
"This is going to be the best footage of the season. KJ, look more stressed, it’s good for the thumbnail."
"I am resigning," KJ muttered, though he instinctively reached out to catch Wemmbu before the kid tumbled off a chest.
"I am officially resigning from being the adult." Jaden patted KJ’s shoulder sympathetically while handing Wemmbu a bucket of tropical fish.
✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩
The silence in the base was the first red flag.
For a faction that usually sounded like a construction site inside a thunderstorm, the quiet was deafening.
"Has anyone seen the kid?" KJ asked, his voice tight.
Manepear looked up from his inventory.
"I thought he was with Yungy and Pentar."
"I thought he was with Render!" Yungy shouted from the other room.
Render popped out from behind a pillar, camera out but looking genuinely panicked.
"I was editing! I turned my back for five minutes to color-grade a sunset!"
The group converged in the center of the hall, eyes darting until Jumper pointed a trembling finger toward the basement.
The heavy iron doors to the Stronghold portal room were swung wide open.
A single, tiny, muddy footprint sat right on the edge of the shimmering silver portal frame.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Flamefrags whispered.
"He didn’t."
"He did," Jaden groaned, already reaching for his pearl.
"He definitely did."
The End When the group burst through the portal into the End, they were ready for a rescue mission.
They had shields up, swords enchanted, and KJ was ready to give the lecture of a lifetime.
Instead, they stopped dead at the edge of the main island.
The Ender Dragon wasn't circling.
She wasn't diving.
She was perched directly on top of the bedrock fountain, her massive, obsidian-scaled wings draped downward like a heavy velvet curtain, creating a secluded, dark tent.
"Is... is she purring?" Pentar whispered, lowering his bow.
The sound was like a low-frequency earthquake. Through the gap in her wings, they saw a flash of a tiny, oversized lime-green hoodie.
Wemmbu was curled up directly against the Dragon’s warm, pulsing underbelly.
He had his thumb in his mouth and his other hand was patting a massive, jagged claw the size of his entire body.
The Dragon let out a soft, huffing breath of purple particles, gently nudging the boy further into the center of the nest with her snout.
"She thinks he’s her hatchling," KJ breathed, his sword dropping to his side.
"She thinks her egg finally hatched and out came... a small, annoying gremlin in a hoodie."
"Look at the hoard," Render whispered, zooming in.
Wemmbu wasn't just sleeping; he had surrounded himself with "treasures" he’d snatched on the way:
Manepear’s favorite golden apple,
Flamefrags’ flint and steel,
and Jaden’s spare diamond boots.
Suddenly, the Dragon’s head snapped up.
Her eyes, glowing violet and slit-pupiled, locked onto the group.
She didn't roar.
She let out a low, protective hiss that vibrated in their very marrow, shielding Wemmbu with her tail.
"Hey! Big lady! That’s our brat!" Yungy yelled, stepping forward.
The Dragon snapped her jaws, a ball of dragon breath exploding ten feet in front of Yungy's boots.
"Okay, okay! Point taken!" Yungy scrambled back.
"Wemmbu!" KJ tried, keeping his voice soft.
"Wemmbu, buddy, it’s time to go home. We have... uh... juice boxes? And we can grief Pentar's storage system?"
Wemmbu blinked one eye open, looked at KJ, then looked at the giant, terrifying Mother of the End who was currently keeping him warm.
He snuggled deeper into the dragon’s scales.
"No," the five-year-old muffled.
"Mama says stay."
Flamefrags turned to KJ, a smirk playing on his lips despite the danger.
"Well, 'Dad', looks like you’ve been replaced. The new mom is taller, breathes fire, and honestly? Probably has better discipline than you."
"Shut up, Flame," KJ sighed, sitting down on the endstone.
"Someone get the obsidian. We’re going to be here a while."
✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩
This is where the "Levels" in Levels SMP stands for "Levels of Extreme Stress."
The group is currently huddled behind a chorus fruit plant, trying to figure out how to out-negotiate a three-story-tall flying lizard that has officially adopted their youngest member.
"Okay, look," KJ whispered, sketching a plan in the endstone dust with a stick.
"She’s a dragon. Dragons like two things: Hoards and protecting their young. Right now, Wemmbu is both."
"I have an idea," Pentar said, pulling out a stack of gold blocks.
"What if we just... distract her with shiny things? Like a magpie?"
"She’s an ancient inter-dimensional dragon, Pentar, not a bird," Jaden sighed, though he was already reaching for his own stash of emeralds.
"Worth a shot," Yungy shrugged.
He stepped out from behind the pillar, holding up a shimmering enchanted golden apple.
"Hey! Big lizard lady! Look! Shiny! Delicious! High in fiber!"
The Dragon’s head swiveled.
Her eyes narrowed.
She didn't move from the nest, but her tail gave a warning thwack against the bedrock that sent a tremor through the island.
"She’s not biting," Flame noted, leaning back.
"Wemmbu, hey! Kid! You want a juice box? We have the red kind!"
From the depths of the purple scales, a tiny hand popped out and waved dismissively.
"No! Mama has... purple juice!" Manepear squinted.
"Is he drinking Dragon’s Breath? KJ, he’s drinking literal bottled magic. He’s going to be vibrating off the walls for a week."
"Change of tactics," KJ stood up, smoothing out his armor.
"If we can’t bribe the mom, we bribe the kid. Render, give me the camera. Jumper, give me the building blocks."
The Great Bribe KJ walked forward slowly, hands raised.
The Dragon let out a low, chest-rattling growl, her wings flared out to double her size.
"I’m not a threat, I’m just... a very tired babysitter," KJ muttered under his breath.
He stopped just outside the 'blast zone' and started placing blocks. He didn't build a house.
He built a giant, neon-colored playground slide right there on the endstone.
"Wemmbu!" KJ called out.
"Look! It’s the Super-Ultra-Mega-Slide! Only for big kids! If you stay in the nest, you’re just a baby. Babies don't get to use the slide."
The Dragon tilted her head, confused by the sudden construction project.
Wemmbu’s head popped up from the nest. His eyes went wide.
"Slide?"
"And!" JumperWho shouted, catching on.
He sprinted forward and started dumping buckets of water into a hole at the bottom.
"A splash pad! With... uh... Axolotls!"
"Ax-o-lotls!" Wemmbu shrieked with glee.
He scrambled over the Dragon’s massive claw, slipping out of her protective shadow.
The Dragon let out a distressed honk—a sound usually reserved for when she’s being hit with beds—and tried to nudge him back with her snout.
But Wemmbu was five; he was fast, slippery, and highly motivated by amphibians.
"Now!" KJ yelled. While Wemmbu was distracted by the pink axolotl, Flame and Mane did the unthinkable.
They didn't attack the Dragon.
They started petting her.
"Who’s a good girl?" Flame said through gritted teeth, awkwardly patting a spiked scale.
"You’re a very scary lady. Yes, you are. Please don't eat me." Manepear started dumping stacks of gold and diamond ore directly into the nest.
"Here! Look! Better eggs! These ones don't talk back or break your redstone! Take the shiny eggs!"
The Dragon blinked, looked at the pile of literal riches, looked at the two tiny humans patting her scales, and then looked at the loud, screaming green toddler currently trying to put an axolotl in his mouth.
She let out a long, heavy sigh that smelled like ozone and old magic.
With a look that could only be described as "Fine, he's your problem now," she settled her head down onto the pile of gold blocks and closed her eyes.
The Aftermath KJ scooped up a soaking wet, purple-stained Wemmbu.
"Alright, everyone to the portal. Before she changes her mind," KJ commanded.
"Wait, I didn't get the shot!" Render complained, frantically snapping photos of the Dragon sleeping on a bed of diamonds.
"Move, Render!" Jaden shoved him toward the exit.
As they jumped through the portal back to the Overworld, Wemmbu looked back one last time, waving his tiny hand.
"Bye, Mama! See you at dinner!" The Dragon didn't open her eyes, but her tail flicked once in a lazy goodbye.
KJ landed on the grassy floor of the Stronghold and immediately sat down, Wemmbu still tucked under one arm like a sack of potatoes.
"That’s it," KJ breathed.
"We’re never going to the End again. In fact, we’re deleting the End. We’re living in a hole in the ground forever."
"Can we have the dragon come for my birthday?" Wemmbu asked innocently.
"Go to sleep, Wemmbu," the entire faction said in unison.
✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩
This is officially the longest day of KJ’s life.
The transition from "protective dragon mama" to "interdimensional tourism" happened in the blink of an eye.
"Okay, he’s tuckered out. Let's get him to a bed," KJ sighed, shifting the toddler-sized Wemmbu in his arms as they stepped back into the Overworld.
He spoke too soon. The second Wemmbu’s boots hit the stone bricks of the Stronghold, he gained the energy of a thousand suns.
"I'm not sleepy! I want to see the red place! The spicy place!"
Before Jaden could even draw a sword, Wemmbu had slipped under KJ's arm like a greasy piglet.
He didn't run for the exit; he ran straight for the faction’s communal Nether Portal.
"WEMMBU, NO!" the group screamed in a terrifyingly tight harmony.
━━━━━━༺༻ ━━━━━━
The Spicy Place (The Nether)
They tumbled through the purple haze, arriving just in time to see Wemmbu trying to hug a Strider.
"It’s a walking meatball!" Wemmbu cheered, his tiny hands reaching for the shivering, lava-dwelling creature.
"Wemmbu, that 'meatball' lives in literal lava!" Flame yelled, sprinting across the basalt deltas.
Mane was busy fending off a Piglin Brute with a shield.
"Hey! Gold! Look at my boots! They’re shiny!" he distracted the piglins while Jumper and Yungy formed a human chain to pluck Wemmbu off the edge of a lava lake.
"I want the glowy juice!" Wemmbu pointed at a nearby Glowstone cluster.
"No glowy juice! We’re leaving!" KJ grabbed the back of Wemmbu’s hoodie.
"We are going home. Right. Now."
✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩
KJ was too tired to argue.
He was also, unfortunately, heading in that direction anyway to get to the main hub.
But he didn't realize that a five-year-old’s favorite hobby is loud noises.
They descended into the Deep Dark. The atmosphere shifted—cold, oppressive, and covered in sculk.
"Everyone. Be. Silent," Pentar whispered, his hand on his bow.
"One vibration and the Warden comes out. And I don't think a slide is going to distract that thing."
Render was crouched, filming the glowing sensors with bated breath.
Wemmbu looked at the weird, floppy sculk sensors.
He looked at his brothers, who were all tip-toeing like cartoon thieves.
Then, he looked at a nearby pile of wool blocks.
"SQUISHY!" Wemmbu screamed at the top of his lungs, jumping full-force onto the wool.
The sensors shrieked.
The Shriekers let out a ghostly wail.
The ground began to vibrate with a heavy, rhythmic thumping.
"RUN!" KJ didn't even look back. He scooped Wemmbu up like a football and booked it.
"I'm a plane! NNNYEEERRRROOOOM!" Wemmbu cheered, completely oblivious to the hulking, blind monstrosity emerging from the floor behind them.
Jaden threw a flurry of snowballs in the opposite direction to distract the Warden, while Yungy and Flame placed blocks at light-speed to build a staircase out.
They scrambled upward, the roar of the Warden echoing behind them, until they finally burst through the trapdoor into the safety of the base.
✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
The Morning After
The sun rose over the Levels SMP base.
KJ was face-down on the kitchen table, clutching a cold cup of coffee.
The others were scattered on various couches, looking like they’d survived a war.
Suddenly, there was a loud POOF and a very familiar, very adult-sized groan from the hallway. Wemmbu walked into the kitchen, rubbing his head.
He was back to his normal size, his hoodie fitting correctly again.
He looked around at the wreckage of the base—the stray axolotls in the sink, the piles of endstone, and the singed Nether rack.
"Uh... guys?" Wemmbu asked, his voice cracking.
"Why is there a Dragon Egg on the counter? And why am I holding a bucket of... is this blue fire?" KJ lifted his head slowly.
His eyes were bloodshot.
"Wemmbu.
"Yeah, KJ?"
"If you ever touch a potion again," KJ said with terrifying calmness, "I will personally hand-deliver you back to your mother in the End."
Wemmbu blinked, confused.
Then he looked at his inventory.
"Wait... why do I have 'Mama’s Favorite Rock' in my hotbar? And why does it smell like Ender Dragon breath in here?"
Render just turned his camera on and grinned.
"Don't worry about it, big man. I’ve got the whole thing in 4K. You’re gonna love the montage."
✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩
The video went live at 6:00 PM, and by 6:05 PM, the Levels SMP global chat was a warzone of confusion, laughter, and genuine concern for KJ’s mental health.
Video Title: THE DRAGON ADOPTED OUR TODDLER (Levels SMP)
Uploaded by: Render
Length: 22:42
Thumbnail: A shocked KJ holding a tiny, glowing Wemmbu, with the Ender Dragon wearing a photoshopped sun hat in the bbackground
The Chat Comments
Pentar: I still have sculk in my boots. I’m never going sub-zero again.
ManePear: can we talk about how @KJ actually tried to fight a dragon with a juice box??
KJ: It was a high-stakes negotiation, Mane. And it worked.
FlameFrags: "Mama says stay" is going to be my new ringtone for Wemmbu.
Wemmbu: GUYS I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO. WHY AM I HUGGING A STRIDER.
Jaden_Man: You called it a "spicy meatball," Wem. You were very insistent.
Yungwillx: honestly the dragon was a better parent than KJ. she didn't make him do chores.
JumperWho: To be fair, she did try to eat Yungy. That’s top-tier parenting.
The Watch Party at the Base The faction gathered in the main hall, the giant projector screen flickering against the obsidian walls.
Wemmbu sat in the front row, hiding his face in his hands as his 5-year-old self waddled across the screen, trying to put a glowsquid in a backpack.
"Oh, look, look! This is my favorite part," Render cackled, pointing at the screen.
On-screen, the footage showed the moment they were fleeing the Ancient City.
The camera was shaking violently as KJ sprinted past, carrying Wemmbu like a football.
The toddler was shrieking "WHEEEEE!" while a Warden’s sonic boom narrowly missed KJ’s cape.
"I look like a maniac," KJ muttered, burying his face in a mug of tea.
"You look like a dad who’s realized he forgot to buy life insurance," Flame teased, kicking his feet up on the table.
"Look at your face when the Dragon nudged him. You were actually jealous!"
"I was not jealous! I was concerned about the structural integrity of the End Island!" KJ defended, though his ears turned a slight shade of red.
The Final Reveal The video ended with a montage of "Wemmbu’s Treasures"—the items he’d stolen from everyone during his spree.
Manepear’s Diamond Pickaxe (found in a flower pot).
Pentar’s secret stash of Golden Carrots (found under a rug).
KJ’s original faction crown (which Wemmbu had tried to use as a cup).
"Wait," Wemmbu stood up, turning to the group as the screen went black.
"If I was five... and the Dragon thinks I'm her kid... does that mean I technically own the End now?"
The room went silent.
KJ slowly set his tea down.
"No. Absolutely not. Don't even think about it."
"I mean," Jaden whispered, "the Dragon Egg is currently sitting on Wemmbu’s nightstand."
"Wemmbu, put the egg down," KJ commanded.
"I’m going to go see if Mama wants to raid a desert temple!"
Wemmbu shouted, already sprinting toward the portal room.
"WEMMBU, GET BACK HERE!"
The entire faction scrambled out of their chairs, the familiar sound of chaotic footsteps echoing through the halls.
As KJ chased after them, he caught a glimpse of the Dragon Egg on the counter.
It gave a tiny, rhythmic pulse of purple light.
KJ sighed, a small smile finally tugging at his lips.
"I really need a vacation."
•┈┈┈••✦ ♡ ✦••┈┈┈•
The Levels SMP was finally starting to feel normal again.
The sculk had been scrubbed off the boots, the nether-burns had healed, and Wemmbu was back to his usual, chaotic, adult-sized self. KJ was actually enjoying a moment of peace on the front porch of the base, watching the sunset.
He had a book, a quiet breeze, and—most importantly—no toddlers in sight.
Then, the sky turned purple.
The Unexpected Visitor The wind picked up instantly, flattening the grass.
A massive, rhythmic woosh-woosh sound began to shake the very foundations of the faction house.
"Uh, KJ?" JumperWho called out from the balcony, squinting at the horizon.
"Is that... a cloud? A very fast, very black cloud with glowing purple eyes?" KJ dropped his book.
"No. No way. She can't leave the End. The game mechanics literally don't allow it!"
"Since when has this server cared about mechanics?" Flame shouted, running out of the armory with his sword drawn, only to stop dead in his tracks.
The Ender Dragon didn't dive-bomb the base.
She didn't breath fire.
She gracefully—if you can call a sixty-foot lizard graceful—skidded to a halt in the middle of the courtyard, crushing Pentar’s meticulously groomed hedge maze in the process.
"MY GARDEN!" Pentar wailed from an upstairs window.
The Dragon ignored him.
She lowered her massive head, sniffing the air with a huff that sent Manepear tumbling backward into a fountain.
The Reunion The front door creaked open, and Wemmbu stepped out, holding a half-eaten golden carrot.
He looked up at the towering beast, his eyes wide.
"Mama?" he squeaked.
The Dragon let out a soft, vibrating coo—a sound that definitely shouldn't come from a final boss—and gently nudged Wemmbu’s chest with her snout.
She nudged him so hard he flew back into KJ’s arms.
She’s checking on him," Jaden whispered, coming out from behind a pillar with Render, who was naturally already recording.
"She actually followed him through the portal."
"She’s not just checking on him," Yungy noted, pointing to the Dragon’s talons.
"She brought a gift."
The Dragon dropped a massive, slime-covered chunk of End Stone right at KJ’s feet.
Embedded in the rock were three pristine Shulker Shells and a stack of Chorus Fruit.
"It’s... it’s child support," Flame choked out, doubled over laughing.
"KJ, she’s paying you to take care of her kid!"
The New Normal The Dragon stayed for exactly ten minutes.
She let Wemmbu pat her nose one last time, gave a terrifyingly loud roar that probably crashed the neighboring faction’s server, and then took off, spiraling upward until she vanished into a purple rift in the clouds.
The courtyard was a mess.
The hedges were gone.
There was dragon drool on the front door.
Wemmbu looked at the Shulker shells, then at the sky, then at KJ.
"So... does this mean I don't have to do my chores today? Mama brought gifts."
KJ looked at the Shulker shells—which were worth a fortune—and then at his "son" who was currently covered in dragon spit.
He sighed, leaning his head against the doorframe.
"Fine," KJ muttered.
"No chores. But if she comes back and eats the storage room, you’re the one who has to explain it to the admins."
"Deal!" Wemmbu cheered, grabbing a Shulker shell and running back inside.
Render panned the camera from the retreating dragon to KJ’s exhausted face.
"And that, chat, is why you never, ever let Wemmbu near a brewing stand. Like and subscribe for more parental trauma."