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If you had asked Izuku when he was in middle school how he felt about the prospect of romance his answer would have been simple, if a little long. Romance isn’t something he ever truly prioritized. He had seen first hand his parents' messy divorce. Watched his single mother work hard and love him unconditionally despite the stress. He grew to learn the value of independence. And so the idea of growing up, getting married and having a family was never something Izuku really felt he needed. He wants it of course, most people do. But he could die a single virgin and he’d probably still be content.
That being said, it’s all a lie.
In truth, when the topic of romance comes up Izuku immediately thinks of narrowed, angry red eyes. Bared teeth behind a snarl. Explosive palms and spikey blond hair. Izuku thinks he’s always loved Kachaan. Always wanted him in some way. Even through all of the bullying and the burn scars and the suicide baiting. Izuku could never really bring himself to hold any of it against his old friend. Katsuki is his picture of victory. He’s everything Izuku aspires to be. And Izuku, as stupid and suicidal as he is, loves him.
But he knows he can never have Katsuki that way. His old friend, turned bully, turned rival, turned friend again could never see Izuku as anything other than the shadow he was never able to shake. And Izuku learned to accept that as well. Adapting is what he’s good at. Settling for the bare minimum is what he’s always done. Not that Katsuki's friendship is the bare minimum, quite the opposite actually. Izuku only wishes he could have more.
It got easier after meeting Ochako. The two had grown incredibly close very quickly after starting at UA. And she’s beautiful. Maybe a little bit plain, not that Izuku can judge, but that doesn’t matter. She’s kind and fearless and totally badass. And as the days went by Izuku found himself liking the way she would casually hold his hand while they walked or the way they gravitated toward each other on the couch during movie nights until they’d be wrapped up together under a cozy blanket and laughing quietly over whispered words. He found himself wanting to kiss away her pouts and spoil her in any way he could with his own limited allowance.
He likes her. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that she returns the feelings.
Dating Ochako had been a bit odd at first. Not much really changed between them. They still walk to and from school together every day, now hand in hand with soft blushes every time. They still get teased by their peers, if a little more often now. They spend more time together, often in Izuku’s dorm room watching movies and bingeing snacks while they talk. Izuku’s mother adores her and the one time Ochako's parents had the time to meet Izuku they seemed to fawn over him until he was bright red before Ochako took pity on him and tugged him away to the privacy of her bedroom.
It’s nice. Domestic in a lot of ways. A welcomed change that Izuku didn’t even realize he needed until he had it.
But sometimes he still can’t help but think about those red eyes.
“Izuku?”
Izuku blinks and turns toward Ochako with a smile. They’re in his dorm again, studying this time with soft music playing from his laptop. Out of habit Izuku reaches over and takes her dainty hand in his own, rubbing a thumb along her knuckles. Gentle affections like these, while still nice, have begun to feel almost foreign. Forced. He blames it on the fact that their honeymoon phase has ended but deep down he knows the truth.
“What’s up Ocha?”
“Are you ok? You’ve been staring at that one paragraph about vigilante laws for like twenty minutes now.”
Izuku glances down at the textbook in his lap with a furrowed brow. Was he really that zoned out? He hopes he wasn’t mumbling. Given his thoughts he wouldn’t want Ochako to think he doesn’t want her. Or worse, that he’s using her as some sort of rebound to get over his longtime crush. He genuinely does care for her. He’s happy with her. He can see himself having a future with her, settling down and maybe having a kid or two.
Settling. Is that really what he wants? After everything they’ve been through. The war. The villain attacks. All of it. Does he not deserve better than that? Does she not? Ochako is a lovely person. She makes him happy. She’s loyal and devoted and attentive. Izuku would be lucky to marry her some day. But she could have anyone she wants. And does she not deserve to have someone who could, and would, love her better than Izuku ever could.
“You’re doing it again, babe. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Izuku sighs and shuts his notebook, stacking it with his other books and assignments before moving them away. He keeps his head lowered and bites his lip slightly. Maybe this is for the best. He doesn’t have to tell her that it’s because of Katsuki. He can just say that he’s fallen out of love and they can end things on good terms and continue to be friends and all will be right with the world again. Just because he doesn’t stand a chance with the one person he’s always wanted doesn’t mean Ochako should deny herself the opportunity to find someone who will cherish her. It’s what she deserves. And it’s something Izuku will never be able to provide for her.
“I…I-I think maybe we should break up.”
“Ok.”
Izuku blinks once and looks up at her in confusion. “O-Ok?”
“Yeah. If that’s what you want.”
“You don’t seem at all upset about this.”
Ochako giggles and scoots closer until she’s pressed against his side. She holds his hand in her lap, gently massaging at his scars like she’s done countless times over the near year they’ve been together. Izuku shuts his eyes with a soft sigh. He does not deserve her and her endless kindness.
“Honestly, I’m kinda happy about it. I was thinking the same. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“You were?”
“Y-yeah. You’re amazing, Izuku. Really. You’re the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, especially for a first relationship. You’re really sweet and attentive and understanding and you’re always there for me. I really do love you. But I think I’ve realized that love is strictly platonic. You’re like a work husband.”
Izuku chokes out a small laugh. “Ok. What changed?”
“I think the same thing that changed for you. I’ve been calling it the Midas Touch. You know, where everything you touch turns to gold. For me it’s, well it’s Toga. I know she did a lot of bad things but she saved my life when it really mattered. I kept up contact with her after the war. Her rehabilitation is going well. And she’s really very sweet. I think I realized that I like her a few months ago.”
“Oh. Um, ok. Well good for you.”
Ochako offers a small shy smile that quickly turns devious. “And for you it’s your Kachaan right?”
“H-huh?”
“Oh come on Izu. I’ve seen the way you look at him. You’ve never looked at me that way. I don’t mind honestly. It’s cute. And you two do have history. I’m sure you’ve always loved him like that, haven’t you?”
Izuku looks away sheepishly with a deep blush. “Doesn’t matter anyway. He doesn’t like me like that. I’m not doing this because I like him, I’m doing it because you deserve better than someone who could never truly love you.”
Ochako's expression softens and she kisses his cheek before laying her head on his shoulder. “And I appreciate that, really. But so do you. Maybe don’t give up on him before you’ve even given him a chance. I see the way you look at him but I also see the way he looks at you. We all do. I know for a fact that Kirishima has talked to him multiple times about toning down his jealousy because you and I were dating.”
“What?”
Ochako giggles. “You are so oblivious sometimes. It’s ok sweetie, it’s cute.”
Izuku covers his face with his free hand as he blushes darkly with a whine. He fought a war and this is what he gets? His girlfriend, well ex -girlfriend now, and her endless teasing. The audacity.
“Ochako, he’s never liked me like that before. He used to hate me for crying out loud. Don’t get my hopes up.”
“I’m not. Izuku, I have never lied to you before. Look at me, please?”
Reluctantly, he does. He drops his hand and peaks over at her shyly. She smiles and reaches up to cup his cheek just as gently as she always has, making sure to keep her pinky raised. She kisses him softly, one last time, before pressing their foreheads together. Izuku shuts his eyes and lets out a soft breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“You deserve someone who will cherish you too. Don’t you dare settle for less just because you think you deserve it. You’re not that lonely quirkless kid anymore. You’re Izuku Midoriya, my Izuku, world savior, All for One slayer, One for All's final user, hero badass and a million other things but most of all, you are loved. You deserve this. So quit sabotaging yourself.”
Izuku bites back the tears threatening to spill. He thinks Ochako might just be his best friend, always knowing exactly what to say and when to grab his insecurities by the balls and float them to the stratosphere. He kisses her forehead softly, already knowing that nothing will ever be able to take these gentle affections from them, and pulls away with a small smile and a nod.
“I’ll try, Ocha. Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Izuku. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get my woman and you need to go get your man. I’ll text you later, Izu.”
Go get his man huh? Could he really do it? Does he really deserve it? No. Stop thinking like that, Izuku. Ochako believes in you. Your mom believes in you. AllMight and Aizawa and the whole of UA, the world. They all believe in you. Kachaan believes in you. If there’s anything in life that Izuku deserves, he thinks it might just be this.
The Midas Touch huh? Izuku hopes his future is abundant with gold.
–
Izuku and Ochako don’t really explicitly say that they’ve broken up. They’re still close, often seen pressing into each other's sides and squealing over new hero merch. They sometimes still hold hands, though far less often. They don’t cuddle anymore but in softer moments they share little cheek or forehead kisses before messing around like a couple of pre-school lunatics. The lack of PDA and pet names seems to clue most people into the shift in their relationship but thankfully nobody mentions it.
Ochako does make a bit of a show of their closeness when Katsuki is around. At first, Izuku hadn’t understood why. He didn’t mind the affections. Ochako is still someone he loves deeply. But she would go from sitting beside him and talking animatedly to pressing into his side, hand in hand with an adoring look up at him in seconds. And it was always when Katsuki entered the room.
It took longer than Izuku would care to admit for him to realize what she was trying to do. But while Izuku may be oblivious at times, he’s not blind. He saw the way Katsuki would scowl at them. The way his fists would clench and he’d walk in the other direction. He noticed the distance his childhood friend would put between them when Ochako was around. And Izuku hated it but he loved it at the same time. He saw that jealousy and he dared to hope.
It was nearly a month after Izuku and Ochako’s breakup that Izuku finally decided to act. He waited until late, when the dorms were mostly quiet with sleeping teenagers. Aizawa has long since done his rounds for curfew and left to, hopefully, sleep. Izuku slips out of his dorm room and quietly takes the stairs up to the fourth floor. He pads down the hallway and stops in front of a door he’s visited many times in the last year or so.
Izuku thinks about all the times he’s come here to study. All the movie marathons and late night talks. All the emotions that come with whispered apologies behind closed doors. He thinks of all the times he’s woken in a cold sweat and slipped inside the quiet dorm to curl up in bed beside his childhood friend. Katsuki never turned him away, only opening his arms and holding him close with the promise to fight away shitty nightmares.
He almost turns back. Almost gives up on the idea that maybe he’s been wrong all this time. Izuku and Katsuki are finally friends again. Finally close after years of distance and abuse and hatred. Izuku had missed his Kachaan so much in the years he didn’t have him. He’s not sure he could survive it again if Katsuki turns his back on him over a silly crush.
And wouldn’t that just be sad. Midoriya Izuku, ninth holder of One for All, greatest hero of all time, a war veteran taken out by heartbreak over a rejection he predicted. And worse, what if Katsuki doesn’t abandon him? What if he rejects Izuku gently and continues on like nothing happened? Like he hasn’t just ripped Izuku’s heart clean out of his chest in the kindest way possible. At least then Izuku might be able to understand how Katsuki felt when Shigaraki-
A creaking sound pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up. Green eyes meet tired red and Izuku swallows, throat suddenly dry. Katsuki’s hair is a mess, flat on one side with tufts of hair sticking out at odd angles on the other. He’s rubbing the sleep from one eye in an adorable, almost childish manner. His sweats sit low on his waist as his classic skull t-shirt shifts with every movement. He looks beautiful.
But Izuku woke him up.
“What do you want, nerd? Your mumbling woke me up. Another nightmare?” Katsuki asks softly.
“Um…something l-like that. Sorry for waking you.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes and steps aside invitingly. Izuku hesitates, fidgeting with his hands almost painfully as he stares into the waiting darkness of the room. He steps inside, glancing around. Katsuki’s room has always been a safe space for Izuku. Somewhere he can go to cry and scream without interruption or judgement. A place to nap when the mental exhaustion becomes too much. A quiet sanctuary when the rest of the world is too much, too loud, too heavy to bear.
But right now it just feels suffocating.
“Wanna talk about it or do you just wanna go back to sleep?”
Katsuki sits on the edge of the bed, staring up at him with a gentle expression. He’s changed a lot since the war. He’s still angry and explosive by nature but now it’s more subdued. More controlled. And since that rainy apology in the destruction of Izuku’s vigilante days, he’s most calm around Izuku. He doesn’t yell anymore. His touches are soft and gentle. Careful in a way Izuku appreciates more than anything. His Kachaan has grown so much since middle school. And maybe it’s the trauma but Izuku is proud of him nonetheless.
“I-...I didn’t have a nightmare, Kachaan. I just…um…I-I should go. I’m sorry for waking you. Get some sleep.”
Izuku turns for the door but a warm, gentle hand grabs his wrist. Neither boy moves. No words are spoken. Izuku has to take several deep breaths just to keep his trembling at bay. Realistically speaking he wouldn’t even need One for All to break the grip on his wrist and run. If Izuku told Katsuki to let go, he would. If Izuku told Katsuki not to follow, he’d stay seated. If Izuku were to run, to hide away for days and never face Katsuki again, his Kachaan would give him the space he needs to come back to his senses and then he’d try again. Because Katsuki would never give up on Izuku. Never again.
So he stays. He forces himself to release the tension in his shoulders and even out his panicked breathing. He blinks the tears away and works on calming his racing heart. He focuses on the feeling of long, slender fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist, grounding him effortlessly. Katsuki's touch solidifies him in ways Izuku couldn’t describe. Makes him feel whole. It fills his cracks with gold and slowly puts the broken pieces back together, even if only for a short while. And Izuku can’t help but think Ochako's silly analogy was spot on.
“Come on, Zuku. Sit down. Talk to me.”
Izuku lets out a shaky breath and steps back to sit beside Katsuki on the bed. He plays with a loose thread on the blanket, a blanket Izuku suddenly remembers he had gifted Katsuki years ago. Back when their relationship was strained but not quite volatile. He smiles softly to himself. Katsuki had kept it. All this time. And if he kept the blanket, maybe he kept every other small gift Izuku had given him over the years. Maybe he never truly hated Izuku in the first place.
Or maybe that’s a stretch. It's just a silly blanket Izuku.
“I just um wanted to talk to you about something. But I-I didn’t know when would be a good time and I figured this was easier. Less risk of an interruption.”
Katsuki grunts in acknowledgement as he shifts to face Izuku. He looks a lot more awake now in the low light of the moon. His hair is still a mess but his eyes are more alert. His attention is solely on Izuku, his gaze gentle and inviting. Izuku scans his features, looking for any sign of judgment or irritation. He finds none. And so he takes one last deep breath and continues.
“You…y-you like me. Like romantically. R-right?”
Izuku thinks he sees a tinge of pink on Katsuki’s cheeks in the moonlight. The blond turns away, a now rare scowl on his face. “No.”
Izuku’s heart sinks. “What?”
“No. I don’t fuckin like you like that. You’re just a friend, Izuku.”
Tears brim his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. “O-oh. Um. R-right. I-I should’ve known. Um I-I’m sorry Kachaan.”
“Why do you look like you’re gonna fuckin cry? You should be relieved you don’t have to reject me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re seein fuckin Round Cheeks, idiot.”
Maybe Izuku and Ochako should have been more clear about their breakup.
“Kachaan. Ochako and I broke up almost a month ago. We’re just friends.”
Kachaan stares at him in disbelief for several minutes. Izuku watches as horror and regret take over his features. Why? Izuku isn’t sure. It isn’t like he did anything wrong. It’s not his fault they broke up, not technically. And even still, it’s not like Katsuki knows the reasoning behind the breakup. Just that it seems to have been on good terms. And technically he didn’t really reject Izuku. He had asked a question without context and Katsuki answered honestly. Sure, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why Izuku asked. But if they’re lucky they can just walk away from this and pretend it never happened.
“But…but she’s been all fucking over you still. Are you fuckin with me right now, Zuku? Cause it ain’t funny.”
“I’m not. She…she was doing that to make you jealous. I think she was probably trying to make a point.”
“A point? What point?”
Izuku turns his head away with a slight blush. “That you like me back.”
It’s silent for a minute after the whispered admission. Izuku keeps his gaze on the wall, blinking back the tears. He’s no stranger to rejection. His childhood was practically founded on it. Every friend, every adult, every crush all turned away from him the second they realized he was quirkless. Even Katsuki himself, the one person he thought would be by his side forever, had rejected him at the ripe age of four. This should be no different.
But Izuku had dared to hope.
Katsuki sighs softly beside him. “Ok. I’m sorry.”
Izuku blinks and turns toward him. “What for? You’re allowed to have your own feelings, Kachaan. I’ll get over it.”
“I don’t want you to get over it.”
The response was so quick, so fierce. Izuku’s look of pure confusion is no mirror to Katsuki’s own look of determination. And he’s closer now, knees nearly touching. Izuku doesn’t know when Katsuki shifted closer to him but Izuku finds himself wanting to close the distance just a tiny bit more. So he does. He leans forward, knees now overlapping and face only a breath away from Katsuki’s. A warm hand rests on his knee and Izuku shudders.
“I lied. I like you. And I’m not just saying that because you look like a kicked puppy right now. I just thought you were still seeing Cheeks and I didn’t wanna ruin another good thing for you.”
Izuku closes his eyes briefly and takes a breath as a single tear escapes. Katsuki reaches up slowly, wiping the tear away with his thumb before resting his palm on Izuku’s cheek. Izuku leans into the affection, greedily thinking that this feels more right than Ochako ever did. He opens his eyes slowly and exhales deeply.
“Please don’t lie Kachaan. I-I can’t take that heartbreak right now.”
“I’m not lying. I think I’ve loved you since we were brats. I was just an angry piece of shit. I thought I lost my chance with you ages ago and then you started dating Mochi and you looked so damn happy with her. I figured it was better that way. At least then I wouldn’t be able to hurt you again.”
Izuku shakes his head. “You could never hurt me Kachaan. I already told you I forgive you.”
“Not that I deserve it. Whatever, this ain’t about that. Look at me.”
Izuku peaks up at him in the darkness, face still comfortably nuzzled into the surprisingly soft palm on his cheek.
“I want you. In any way you’ll let me have you. I wanna hold your hand and kiss you stupid. I wanna be the one cuddling up to you on the couch. I wanna be the one calling you stupid pet names. And ya know what, fuck that gravity bitch for taking you before I could get to you first. I want you, Izuku. Will you let me have you? Let me prove I deserve you.”
Izuku's lip wobbles as the tears finally fall. He leans forward more, wrapping his arms around Katsuki's neck and pressing their foreheads together.
“Yes.” he says softly.
“Can I kiss you?” Katsuki replies, already breathless.
“Yes.” Izuku whispers.
The hand on his cheek slowly slides to the back of his neck, holding Izuku in place as Katsuki closes the distance between them. Soft lips press against his own in a kiss that feels euphoric. Izuku hadn’t realized how much he craved this until now. Katsuki's lips are soft, if slightly chapped, and press against Izuku's lips so gently it’s as if his Kachaan is trying not to hurt him. His thumb caresses the nape of Izuku’s neck in a way that melts him to his very core. He lets his eyes slip shut and leans forward until the kiss breaks and he’s chest to chest with Katsuki, face hidden in the crook of his Kachaans neck.
“Fuck. I’ve wanted to do that for so damn long.”
“Me too.” Izuku admits.
“Even while you were with Cheeks?”
“Especially then.”
Katsuki grunts. He shifts them around carefully until they’re laid down on the bed, Izuku cradled in strong arms with an ear pressed against a beating heart. All his earlier nerves and heartbreak are replaced by a warm contentment he’s only ever felt with Katsuki. Just as this room is his safe space, Katsuki is his safe person. Where once Izuku would have cowered and run from those deadly hands, he now settles. Despite everything, Katsuki has this magical ability to put Izuku at ease without even trying.
“Did you ever even love her?”
Izuku hums softly in thought. “I think so. I don’t regret dating her. I was happy with her. And I love her a lot, still do. I think we just both realized somewhere along the lines that the love we felt for each other had nothing to do with romance. It was never going to work between us for that reason. It was a lovely relationship, and I’m glad it ended on good terms, but it was destined to fail from the start.”
“Well, I guess I can accept that. But I swear to fucking AllMight if I catch her practically crawling into your lap and smothering you in kisses again her ass is grass. You’re mine now, got that? Shortie can fuck right off.”
“Is that your way of asking me out, Kachaan?”
“The fuck do you think?”
Izuku smiles softly and nuzzles ever so slightly closer. Katsuki takes the hint and pulls that old blanket over them before wrapping his arms around Izuku tighter than he ever has before. A featherlight kiss is pressed to green curls and Izuku shuts his eyes as he begins to doze. He can’t help but think that he would’ve saved them all a lot of time, effort and heartache if he had just confessed to Katsuki sooner. But hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. They’re here now, that’s all that matters.
“Hey Kachaan?”
“Hm?”
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
“Seriously? We’re barely an hour into this shit and you’re already breaking out the annoying questions? Did you do this shit to Space Cadet?”
“Nope. Just you.”
“Of course this is a Kachaan exclusive. Fuckin, go to sleep and ask me again in like a year. But I’m telling you now the answers gonna be hell no.”
–
It, in fact, was not a hell no.
–
When they arrive in the common room the next morning, hand in hand, Ochako is quick to offer Izuku a happy smile. She winks at him and Izuku can’t help but smile in return. He’s not sure he would have made it this far without her. All her reassurances and schemes really came a long way. Having Ochako's support, and more importantly her friendship, is something Izuku will forever be grateful for.
“Hey babe. Replacing me so soon. And here I thought we had something special.” She teases.
“Fuck off Cheeks. Don’t call him that.”
“Dude. What? Bakubro, what the hell? We talked about this.” Kirishima says, staring at Katsuki with the look of a disappointed father.
“Kiri, It’s ok. Ochako’s only teasing. We aren’t dating anymore. We broke up about a month ago.”
“What? Whyyyy? You guys were my OTP.” Mina whines.
“Mina, honey, nobody uses that term anymore.”
“Hush, Sero.”
“We just realized we felt differently about each other than we initially thought. Seriously guys, it was a mutual thing. No ill will I promise. I still love Izuku so much. He’s my best friend. We just, uh, well you could say we both have a thing for blonds.” Ochako explains with a soft blush.
Izuku offers her a small smile and kisses her head. “Midas Touch.”
Ochako smiles up at him, patting his hand where he’s still holding Katsuki’s firmly. His boyfriend grumbles at her but doesn't pull away or yell. If anything he almost looks fond and a little grateful as he watches Izuku and Ochako interact with each other. He knows where he stands now. And Izuku won’t ever let him doubt it again.
“Midas Touch.”