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I Hurt Therefore...

Summary:

Just a self indulgent little piece of work centered around 3 of the II characters i think about most. Late night thoughts made into fanficton.
This fics main themes will center around the feeling of ones identify in the face of pain and uncertainty. Perhaps someone may find some healing?

Notes:

the title was inspired by Burial goods video, "You exist before your pain."

Chapter Text

Poppy worked away in their tree house on a little mechanical doodad. Tinkering away.

Poppy really wanted to try and make people like them. And what better way to do that than to make convenience. Poppy noticed that OJ is a bit overworked. What with being one of the leaders of society and also running a modest hotel. So Poppy found some scraps lying around here and there and decided to make a cute little mobile vacuum cleaner.

“Annnnnd done!” Poppy held up the finished piece with pride and joy.
“What should I call you? Lemme think… You go around rooms, and you eat trash off the ground. Like a bug. I’ll call you Roombug!” Poppy held the Roombug close and pet it.

Poppy was about to leave the treehouse when a spike of anxiety hit them in the core for a moment.

‘What if they don't like it?’ ‘What if they get the wrong idea?’ But Poppy shook those feelings away. If they wanted to build a better reputation with the people around them then they would have to have some initiative. And this was a good first step. Who doesn't like having their needs noticed and tended to?

So Poppy jumped down from their treehouse and headed for the hotel.
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Bot sits in their room, fidgeting with their bandage, made from Poppys husk. It was very fibrous and strangely pleasing to touch.
Bots been thinking about Poppy a lot lately. Sure they look like cobs. But from what they've heard about cobs, how he treated his creations and beings he thought were lesser in value, his cruelty. And despite their first meeting with Poppy calling them a “thing” they dont see the same kind of thoughtless cruelty in Poppy.

Poppy is curious and kind to others. Impulsive, naive, and a tad insensitive at times yes. Nothing like a villain though.

Bot feels bad for Poppy.

‘Maybe if they had the chance to change their appearance like I had. Then maybe things would be easier for them.’

Bot froze for a moment. Something about that thought felt icky.

Why should they have to do that? Would they even want to do that? They don't owe anybody a makeover.

But it's true isnt it? It works doesnt it?

Bot wonders how people would treat them if they never changed the way they looked. Fidgeting with the husk again. Would it be similar? Maybe, but without all they hate, moreso nostalgia.
They tried to imagine how it would feel to see people express nostalgia towards you for a time you never experienced. That must be uncanny as hell. Or perhaps would people feel uncomfortable. Bow is dead after all.

They feel a tear in the husk. They were rubbing it too hard.
Bot decides to retire these thoughts for now. It's too stressful right now.
Maybe a walk in the woods would help clear their mind.

 

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Jack struggles in his handcuffs. Sitting outside as the sun sets.
Nobody else is outside right now. At least now anywhere near him atleast. That was good. That was the last thing he needed. Someone around being smug or condescending while the cuffs dig into his wrist.

‘Did they have to cuff my hands behind me. My arms fuckin hurt.’

He knows what he did was wrong. He fucked up. He knows that now.
But he still feels this kind of humiliation is undue. It's been days. And here he is still, a walking joke.
Would anyone have not done the same? If you were stuck in an endless blues void for a long and undetermined amount of time, believing you were designed to be a cunning and fierce competitor only to be voted out on the first challenge because the host thought your methods were “uninspired.”

‘“Jack of all Trades,Master of none.” Maybe I didn't have a fighting chance in the first place.’ Jack thought as he twisted his wrist around,playing with the positions of his hands. ‘ Not in a place like this.’

It's hard not to be embarrassed. Like his lack of mastery over anything is accentuated by his constraints.
He thinks it shouldn't mean so much to him, he thinks. It's just a stupid game, there isn't even a prize.

‘Bell died to be here.’ That thought shocked him back into reality for a moment.
‘Why the hell am I thinking about her right now. We weren't even close.’
As much as he tries to ignore it the thought of Bell makes him feel cold and heavy on the inside. It's scary to think about. But that could never be him right?

‘Should it have been-’

“OKAY THATS ENOUGH!” Jack stands up fast and marches toward the forest. “ It's time to take Suitcase's advice and express my emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. By venting to Poppy.”

Poppy was always nice to complain to for Jack. Most people don't go out of their way to talk to them anyway, so they usually are not inclined to push Jack away, especially since Jack is more or less neutral to them.
And Jack also thinks it's interesting to hear Poppy complain too. It's amusing.

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Poppy stands outside the hotel, head hung low, dejected and embarrassed? ….Frustrated?

When Poppy introduced the Roombug to the resident they all freaked out.

One person thought it was a spy drone. Another thought it would eat their toes. Another thought there was a weapon inside.

When OJ & Testtube came to stop the ruckus Poppy tried to explain that they were only trying to help. That it was just a cleanup bot, for OJ and everyone.

OJ didn't look mad, neither did Testtube, But they certainly werent happy either. They looked at Poppy like they were a child who didn't know how to play with other kids correctly.

“Listen,” OJ started “ I know you meant well and all, but you really gotta read the room. Nobody is in the right headspace for your… Experiments.”

“I appreciate that you want to help.” Testtube chimed in. “ But from now on, just leave the tech to me okay.”

Now Poppy walks back to their treehouse, alone in the dark with their Roombug.

‘Read the room? What does that mean? How was I supposed to know people would react like that to something I built? Whatever happened to calling these things convenient or a good deed? I was just trying to help…’ Poppy's thoughts trail off as they walk into the woods.

Its not fair. They just wish they knew. They just wish they could be forgiven. They don't even know what they want to be forgiven for. They just want it so bad.

As they get closer to their treehouse they hear people talking. Which is weird because who else would be out here so late at night.

 

Poppy pushed through some bushes to see Bot and Jack having a conversation.