Work Text:
The sky is blue. But the colors change. Not everyone sees the same shade.
The truth is different, a sickening mix of shades and branches. Green can be blue, black can be white, The lovely woman on your block can be a horrible person beneath. Not because its all false, oh no, not at all. The truth differentiates for everyone. A cat can see a human as a worshipper, a human can see a cat as a friend. Someone can hardly be in your life while you are all they know.
Which truth is real? Which one do you rely on? Truth is never the same. Truth can be good and bad. The truth may be a gleaming blade or the petal of a Lilly. The cries for help, the cheering laughter, when the castle walls fall, who is to blame?
As the earth crumbles at our hands,
As the last creature breathes,
Who is to blame?
Monstrous.
Do you even know who you are?
Where is your home?
Are you home?
Oh please, we all know that's A lie. This isn't your home. It never was. No matter how many memories, how many sleepless nights, how many sleepovers and hiding away as the world crashes down around you. All it ever was is the eye of a storm. You're home is outside of it. This isn't your home.
Why don't you answer? Is that not you in the mirror? Who's face is that? Who's skin did you steal? Do you feel good about yourself? I wouldn't. After all, so many people love you, yet this isn't even who you are. You know that. Why do you pretend?
A sinner in a saint's body is all you'll ever be. This flesh was never meant to belong to you. You're ruining perfectly good skin as you scratch, perfectly good muscle you let rot off your bones, perfectly good organs you destroy with your horrid habits. That's all you ever do, you ruin things that aren't yours. You can't even eat anymore, you've ruined yourself. Look at you. That shell of a person is all you'll ever be.
Answer me. Come on, answer! You say you speak truth, so speak it! Tell me which truth to believe!
"Pure vanilla cookie!" White Lilly calls, gently rubbing Pure vanilla's back. He had thrown up after dinner, having gotten lost in thought. Its happened a lot quite recently. He can't keep anything down, and it's not like he has time to eat either. Somehow, with the help of sugar swan, he had revived white Lilly. Of course, it was a difficult and straining process, she had done the most she could to help pure vanilla recover, considering he had given some of his life force to bring her back. She looked different, with patches of red dough and a horn sprouting from her head, it took a while to get used to. He couldn't worry her, she was already struggling with accepting her own body, he couldn't make her deal with his worries.
"Im... Okay" He spits onto the ground by the tree he had been leaning on, his voiced strained and shaky. "I suppose the stress of the rebuilding has caught up to me." The words that left his mouth, while true, were hardly believable. White Lilly dropped it, staying quiet and helping him walk back to the castle.
"you should get some rest... I'll go handle your duties for the rest of the evening." She walks him to his room, opening the large waffle wafer doors. "Call me if you need anything. Please" The words were a silent plea as the doors slammed shut naturally. Pure vanilla flinched, only mutter a small 'Okay' as he walked to his bathroom, sighing heavily.
The water of the tub ran warm, steam glazing the mirrors in a dense fog that cleared clogged lungs. Vanilla took a deep breath, gently stripping himself bare. As the mirror fogged, he managed to see himself. Skinny was a good word, but not good in this way. He had a bit of a plump mess to him, his hips rounded softly as they dipped like waves, stretch marks from growing so fast in his teenage years accentuating those waves like little ripples in water. His hair was long, down to his knees by now, long blonde bangs only partially covering his chest. His scars lay clear to the eye, dancing about his already pale skin as they turn slightly purple in the heat. Those blue and yellow eyes stared back at him in the mirror, chapped lips stuck together as if glued shut. Those abnormalities never bothered him. Those blemishes and bumps, never were the problem. This body wasn't his, and he stomach felt worse as he watched his shell disappear in the steam of the mirror.
Warm.
Are you warm?
Its nice isn't it. Your body is supposed to relax, yknow.
Come on, you fucked up, didn't you? Something else was supposed to happen here, you know it. That's not right.
What happened. What's going on?
God will you ever learn to shut up.
You need to stop messing with shit. Stop messing it up every damn time. You keep doing the same thing over and over and its getting annoying.
You were confused, you weren't thinking. Its okay.
It really isnt. Especially not when you keep doing the same shit.
No! Its okay! Just breath.
Why can't you breath?
Why can't I breath?