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Love’s a real fickle thing, isn’t it? Humans are never meant to be loved for long. They’re unstable. Their values and beliefs change. Hell, he’d even go as far as saying that no one’s supposed to be just the way they are over time, feelings be damned. Changing is just the way the world works. From Leon choosing branded dry food over the meals Koga cooked for him, to Hakaze-senpai deciding to pick up playing the guitar, to Hinata and Yuta relying on him less and less the moment they sent him off to graduate from Yumenosaki.
Koga’s not exempt from this either. Compared to before when he wanted nothing more than to stay by Sakuma-senpai’s side for all eternity, he find himself taking in less jobs with the members in UNDEAD and more work as Koga Oogami, the solo idol—the solo artist. Music is the core of his essence. It’s not something he can exclusively attribute to being an idol. UNDEAD is still his life, of course.
Koga Oogami will always be UNDEAD.
Yet he can’t deny the thrill that comes with change—with removing your collar with your own bare hands, with your own sheer will, and venturing out into the world to claw his way into the hearts of many.
Still, change cannot penetrate everything. His values, his beliefs, his dedication to the world of punk rock. This core of his remains intact. His passion for music is the same as it has been since he first saw Rei perform on that stage and decide then and there that he would be the same—no, become more than what Rei is for him. That much, Koga understands. They’re what made him Koga Oogami. If someone scratches a mark on his chest until his skin is ripped to shreds, baring his soul to the world, all they would see is a heart setting everything ablaze as it carves its essence into all it encounters.
That makes sense.
But this?
Even less.
Koga is not immune to seeing the people he once admired burn into ashes and shrivel into a cold, lifeless corpse, neglected and abandoned by the people they once warmed with their presence alone. He’s seen it from the front seat, for fuck’s sake.
And the same thing is happening now.
Or had happened—Koga never really bothered to know more about the top player of the card game shop he used to frequent other than the time they often come with their unbeatable deck—but with the person in question never having been recovered from his own hell yet.
It’s weird, if he’s honest. If someone told him that the powerful(, beautiful) oneesan he used to seek out in the past turned out to be some wimpy-haired, weak-willed idol who’s already got a decent fanbase established overseas and is now integrating himself into that of Japan, let alone belonging in the same agency as he does, Koga would tell them to shut their trap and stop spouting nonsense. (Koga would tell them to fuck off either way. Unless, of course, they’re the person in question.)
Which is exactly what happened. To Plain Face and the person in question. Leading them to the current situation.
“Are you tryna get me killed in here, Wigglylocks? Who’re you teamed up with, me or them, huh?” Koga grabbed the hand that could’ve cost their team his life with the card it holds. Not only that, he would be a laughingstock to this small group of Idobato players in the Square. Him and his admiration for the ‘Annihilator of the Underworld.’
That’s strange too.
Chitose’s apologies fall on deaf ears as Koga leaned in and did his turn for the older idol. His response comes almost automatically, expecting the surge of regret that comes to him with every minor setback (which, admittedly, something a part of him has become exasperated over the magnitude of ‘sorry’s’ that Chitose gives because it’s fine. This is just a game. You’ve got it in ya to win. You’re just a li’l rusty over the years but so what. Who gives a damn. You’re here. You’re tryin’. That already stands for something. It ain’t gonna be the end of the fucking world if you killed me.)
Koga doesn’t say that though. He’s not that thick-skinned to cut off a match just to lecture someone he used to save up what little allowance he had to buy all the cards in the deck he’s now so proud of just to defeat him for.
Instead, the only words that leave his lips are, “We’ve still got another round. You can make up for it, Wigglylocks.”
Then his attention is back to the game.
He doesn’t know if it helped or not. Koga can’t tell shit when it comes to him. For one, his persona on and off the stage really creeps him out. Sure, Ensemble Square is a huge gathering for all the weirdos who wanna be idols. Not a day passes without some sort of ruckus ranging from those petty throw of words to other shit that could make Hasumi-senpai’s hair turn as grey as his.
There’s Chitose’s reaction to being called ‘Wigglylocks’ too—seriously, what the hell is he being all giddy for? All the others were real pissed when they’re called something similar, so why the fuck does he always smile like Koga’s just gifted him a puppy like those videos he loves watching?! It’s stupid! Ridiculous! He’s gotta be out of his mind to enjoy something like that!
And yet something in him breaks anyway.
Even now, during this game, when all the other players from the opposing team are putting their heads together to strategize across them, Koga is wrecked when Chitose answers with that stupidly relieved, ridiculously happy sigh. Or, because that process is fucking absurd and no, Koga Oogami does not break for any man, it makes him want to break something. That thing under his skin going hyperactive, pumping blood to his cheeks instead of it traveling to literally anywhere else, skipping a beat when Chitose squeezed his hand upon sighing, for one.
“Hehe. Oogami-kun is really kind, isn’t he?”
God, he wants to jump off a cliff.
“Hearing you use that nickname for me made me happy. Maybe Oogami-kun doesn’t dislike me, after all ♪”
That’s it. Koga’s taking Sakuma-senpai’s old motorbike for a ride and never come back to this new circle of hell. Of all the things that didn’t change about him, why does it have to include these feelings when the person itself changed? It doesn’t make sense!"
“Shut up.” For now, Koga’s focus is on the game. Tsukasa is a strong opponent. Add to that the fact that the others are also here—Plain Face, Tetsu-kun, and Shino—he can’t afford to get distracted. “Don’t let ‘em defeat your Hydra. We can’t have ‘em takin’ down a legendary card who can easily defeat one whole party if used well.”
Under the table, the very card still in the hand that he grabbed earlier, Koga squeezes back anyway.