Chapter Text
Ghost hated this.Hated feeling like this,hated missing someone.
He had promised himself years and years ago he would have never got attached to someone.But then he did.
He got attached.He fell for someone.And now that someone's blood was on his hands.
"I couldn't save him," he thought,before hitting styro "i should have saved him." he muttered,before hitting beans.Blood dripped down his arms as he stared at Soap's picture on his phone.
The last picture he took before he died.Blood dripped on the picture,right on Soap's head.
Now this was just the universe mocking him.His empty urn sat on the bedside table.
He bandaged himself,not even bothering to clean up the blood-if no one saw it,it wouldn't be a problem.He felt so weak doing this.Felt like Tommy.
The weed sat under his bunk,waiting to be used.
"I have to use this before Price finds out."he grabbed the small back of weed and rolled it all up into a sad blunt,stuffing it into his pocket before leaving the dorms and walking fast to the forest,finding a huge tree to hide behind.
He sat on the ground,grass staining the back of his jeans green,he lit up his blunt and sat back against the tree,looking up at the afternoon sky.
The sky was blue,just like Soap's eyes.
"Your eyes are creepy,Mactavish."
"You think so,sir?"
"Yeah."
"Then i might just stare at you until i die."
And so did he.
He died looking at him,eyes open even if he was dead.
Ghost would never forget those beautiful blue eyes staring up at him whenever they talked.
He never even got the chance to act on his feelings.
And now he was dead.
He had to move on.
Ghost finished his blunt,he was high as a kite.He stumbled back into the base,going for his barracks.
He was stopped by Price.
"Wait up,young man.Where were you?"
"Ugh..i was..uh...out..."
"Out where?You know you have to tell me if you're going anywhere for personal reasons."
Ghost scoffed.
"Just...fuck off..!"
He pushed Price away.Price grabbed him by his shoulders.
"Are you drunk??"
He barked,grabbing his face.Red scleras,blown out pupils.
He dragged Ghost to medical,barking at the nurses:"He's high off his ass!"
The nurses carried Ghost to the bed,treating him as good as they could.
He woke up after a few hours,eyes still red but he was sober enough to know where he was.
Price was sitting next to the bed,arms crossed.
Gaz was on the door,looking worried.
Ghost sighed.
"I'm fucked,am i?"
"The fuck yes you are!" Price retorted. "What the fuck were you thinking??"
Ghost laid back,looking at the ceiling.
"Tried to fill the void with something,i guess," he muttered back.
"And what void,pray tell?"
"...Johnny."
Price's gaze softened at that."You miss him."
Ghost tried to deny it,but he was too tired.
"Yeah."
Gaz sat on his bed.
"We do too.But you shouldn't drug your ass off."
"I know that,Sherlock."
"Then don't.Talk to us.Talking to trees won't help you."
Ghost sighed,sitting up,legs hanging off of the bed.
"I'll try."