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Ethan startled awake, reaching to the gun under his pillow for a split second before realizing whose hand had touched his neck in his sleep. Bright tearful blue eyes stare back at his slightly darker ones, Xander looks so broken and desperate, withdrawing slightly and whispering out an apology with a raspy voice, “I'm sorry… didn't mean to wake you up…” His face tightens up sadly and he speaks once more before fully getting up off of Ethan’s bed. “I was just checking if you’re… breathing or not.”
Xander, oh, Xander…
Before he can walk any further, Ethan grabs his scarred arm gently, more gently than he has ever been in his life. He slides Xander’s hand up to his pulse-point and leaves it there. Taking a deep breath before he speaks, “stay.”
That is all Xander needs before he is launching himself into Ethan’s arms, keeping that one hand on his pulse-point. The much taller and larger man curls into the other, desperately holding onto the back of his shirt with his other hand.
Ethan’s face presses into Xander’s soft hair, and… he cannot help himself. He kisses the white curls softly, so unused to performing acts like that.
Xander slowly relaxes into his arms, eyes closing and breathing evening out. Ethan holds the poor man and does not intend on letting him go anytime soon.
Xander’s whole life, everything good was always taken from him. Ripped from his hands as he begs. He has lost more than anyone here, and now? The one person who had brought him out of himself and shown him that there is a reason he is still alive? He is gone as well. And the worst part? It is partially his fault. Even Ethan knows that he will not stop blaming himself until the day that he dies, but he can try to lighten the blow. He knows how it feels to lose a younger loved one like that, and he knows that Blake is safe wherever he is, because Michael is there with him. And right now, Xander is safe because Ethan is with him, and he does not plan on leaving again.