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The ship was quiet in the night hours, the crew too tired to make a fuss. Shepard often took this opportunity to sneak into the mess hall and raid the fridge and cabinets for whatever snacks she had hidden there.
Kaidan sat at the mess hall table, nursing his coffee as he stared at the island. The cook had turned in for the evening, James had already retrieved his evening snack, and he was alone.
A hiss sounded through the quiet as the door to the battery opened up, Kaidan’s turian teammate coming from his hidey hole. He caught sight of the biotic and seemed to look away, avoiding making eye contact.
Things had been like this for a little while, ever since Kaidan rejoined the Normandy crew nearly a week ago. It was painfully obvious that Shepard had moved on, the Vanguard being a bit cruel about it on Mars and unapologetic while he was in the hospital. And yes, he’d deserved it. He’d been an ass to her and the guilt he felt about causing her so much stress had eaten at him ever since she’d told him about the panic attacks his words had caused. While he was back on Earth tending to Alliance matters, she’d been risking her life for humanity and finding comfort in another’s arms. In Garrus.
And Shepard wasn’t shy about the fact that she and Garrus were an item, spending time with him and being more touchy-feely than Kaidan had ever known her to be before. It was safe to say that he was jealous, but he wasn’t about to admit this to anyone. It was probably obvious enough.
Another hiss echoed as the elevator made it’s stop. Shepard was right on schedule.
She held herself high, an attempt to get everyone to ignore the fact that she was shorter than the rest of them. She wore a tank top and the bottoms of her fatigues, her boots laced up and her hoodie falling to her elbows to show off the bright pink and purple flowers that were tattooed along her right shoulder and down her upper arm. Those were a recent addition to her collection. Her black hair also was so much shorter now than when they’d first met almost three years ago, and sometimes one could get a glimpse of the amp port on the base of her skull. Why she’d cut her hair, Kaidan didn’t know. He’d loved her long hair, but the short seemed to suit her as well.
She was gorgeous no matter what.
Emerald green eyes met his brown as she passed by, a slight smile on her face as she nodded a passing greeting. He couldn’t help but smile back, watching as her face lit up at the sight of her boyfriend by the counters. Shepard smiled as she walked faster to the island. Kaidan watched her as she looked up at Garrus, the height difference between the two almost comical. She said something that he couldn’t hear and the turian seemed to smile, though he never was sure how to differentiate their facial expressions. Shepard looked happy, however, the turian leaning across the island the nudge his forehead against hers. Her eyes closed and the look of content on her face caused a pang of jealousy to hit Kaidan in the chest. He turned away, looking back down at his coffee and bringing it up to his lips.
The two in the kitchen exchanged some words, Kaidan catching enough of their conversation to know that Garrus wasn’t going to be sleeping in the battery tonight.
Shepard raided the fridge and cabinets like always, sitting on the island and continuing to chat with the turian for a few more moments. Then she started back to the elevator, ration bar in hand, giving Kaidan that same passing smile before she was gone.
The elevator door hissed shut, leaving him in the silence of the room, Garrus awkwardly standing in the kitchen with a box of dextro rations that Shepard had obviously made him get. He hovered over the counter, eating while avoiding looking over at Kaidan.
With a sigh Kaidan rose from where he sat, moving to the kitchen area. Garrus moved out of his way as he dumped the remainder of his cold coffee down the drain.
“Hey,” Garrus started.
Kaidan looked back at him, the turian’s mandibles twitching a bit in what seemed like nervousness but he couldn’t be sure. “Hey,” he echoed, rinsing off his glass and leaving it on the drying rack.
“You, uh… you aren’t upset or anything, are you?” he began. “I mean about me and Rhe-... Shepard.”
Kaidan’s breath hitched in his throat at this. There it was. Shepard’s first name, a gift she gave to only the most fortunate few. To know her as Rhea was a rare and beautiful thing. He’d once been given such a gift, but after Horizon it had been taken back and guarded closely.
He swallowed and exhaled, his eyes closing as he shook his head. “No,” he said finally. “I’m happy as long as she is.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” he said, allowing himself to relax. “Yeah, I… I mean, I’m a bit jealous, but who wouldn’t be? She’s amazing, but I was an ass and now she’s moved on. And I’m happy for her. So long as you don’t break her heart, because if you do I swear...”
Garrus laughed lightly at this, cutting him off. “Don’t worry, I have no intentions of doing that. I care about Shepard. A lot.”
“Good,” Kaidan said. “Holding a gun up to a friend isn’t much fun.”
“No, it’s not,” Garrus said, sighing. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but she was ready to shoot you if you hadn’t backed down.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said. “She’s willing to do anything it takes.”
The turian nodded again. “That she is.”
Kaidan nodded, not really sure what else to say now. “So… are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good. Just keep your gun pointed at the enemy from now on.”
He chuckled. “That I can do.”