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I. Existence
Being in a world where they shouldn't exist, Yuu finds their presence... lacking.
After all, they were quite literally pulled from another world. It is only natural that the Prefect is not someone who can easily earn a mark on the world of Twisted Wonderland. The Prefect of Ramshackle is merely an alien that will soon depart.
(Yuu muses to themself while sitting on the couch. Limbs sprawled out, their head on the armrest. Once they leave this world, will they be easily forgotten?
Will they be allowed to take all the photos—the ones they took with the ghost camera given to them by Crowley—back to their world? It'll be nice if they could. Or, at least, take at least one with everyone in it. It'll be funny if someone else Yuu knows comes across it ["Who the hell is this?", "Are those lion ears even real?", "What strange cosplays", Yuu imagines] but the Prefect always wishes to remember their time in Twisted Wonderland, even after years pass.)
Even if everyone here one day forgets Yuu, they still want to remember everyone. These memories shine too warmly for them to be merely forgotten in the cold.
II. Prefect (Perfect)
As a "visitor" to Twisted Wonderland, Yuu supposes is the term, they simply do their best in the meantime. A guest would do their best to be as helpful as possible, so that is what Yuu spent their time doing. Not to mention, their time is eaten up by school, Grim, Crowley's odd jobs, part-time work at Monstro Lounge (whenever Azul feels quote-on-quote "benevolent" enough), and what slips of time they can find to stop by the other students' dorms. Let Yuu be the helpful, mature, "beast-tamer" Prefect.
The Prefect's room in Ramshackle Dorm is the place where Yuu allows their exhausted emotions to rest. This is the space where they are permitted to hit a pillow, scribble angrily on paper, or even cry about a stupid test grade, so long as they're alone. If Grim is with them, maybe Yuu will only scratch angry faces onto their paper. If the Ramshackle ghosts are over, Yuu will pick at the stuffing of their pillow or the hemming of their shirt. If any of the other students—friends—are within the room, Yuu will smile, say thank you, and play the part of a good host to ensure everyone has a wonderful time.
Yuu wonders. They wonder and worry and watch. They've seen other students crack, when they shouted and raged and sobbed. It tugs at the Prefect's heartstrings, but nothing more than a tug; because Yuu had forced it so. It will not pull, it will absolutely not rip those strings out of their chest. The magicless Prefect swallows and simply does their best to be as helpful as they can be, once again.
III. Alien
It's a miracle that Yuu had surrounded themself with so many people of various eccentricities. There remains a distance between Yuu and others, although it seems to have closed over the months together. Before Yuu knew it, they were exchanging stories with the other first years. Then, the concepts of Mount Olympus and Egypt and past dynasties and so many other fascinating records from Earth were realized in Twisted Wonderland.
Strangely, Yuu feels satisfied with that. In a roundabout way, they left a mark on their friends before the Prefect must inevitably leave. Places that nobody in Twisted Wonderland will ever visit, history that will never bore witnesses that live to tell the tale, events that happened right up until the black carriage came for the magicless Prefect and whisked them away.
The best and worst part of this is, Yuu would never have to talk about their own life. Their childhood (that doesn't exist here), their family (who never lived here), and their friends (who nobody knows here) easily pale in comparison to the grandeur of the world's affairs.
(Ace did ask something like this before, now that Yuu thinks about it. The two were waiting for Deuce to finish his Track and Field club meeting by lounging around on the living room sofa in Ramshackle Dorm. Grim went to grab grub in the kitchen, so it was just the two of them. There, Ace asked, "If Grim wasn't here, wouldn't you have been pretty lonely?"
Yuu takes a moment to think about it, before at last shrugging. "It wouldn't be the same without Grim."
"Yeah? What about before that?" Before meeting Grim, before Yuu ever stepped foot into this world.
This wasn't a question Yuu wanted to answer. Their mouth opens, unsure what they can even say, before someone else's voice cuts in.
"Five whole cans of tuna! Score!" came Grim's voice from the kitchen.
Yuu's eyes widened. The gluttonous direbeast must've discovered the stash meant for Grim's emergency snacks. "Grim, you better not even think about opening one—" Yuu warns, jumping to their feet and promptly dashing into the kitchen to wrangle Grim.
Ace's question was never answered that day, but that was that.)
At least in this way, Yuu wouldn't have to worry too much about being forgotten, right? It's interesting enough to remember, and so out of reach that it seems like tall tales to the students of NRC. Yuu is an outsider to Twisted Wonderland, and they've never once taken a moment to identify themself as someone belonging to this place. A wonderland will always remain a wonderland, a stuff of dreams and fantasies that Yuu will never hold onto.
If Yuu were to share their stories, the ones that involve "Yuu" in it, rather than Cleopatra or Jeanne d'Arc or legends of Chang'e or the Olympians or even their Roman counterparts, but with plain, regular, magicless, immature Yuu—
Yuu will no longer be an alien to Twisted Wonderland, and their status as a human will be acknowledged.
IV. Possibility
Yuu is always human. Of course they are, everyone knows that. But they are also an entity that remains cut from this world.
a·li·en
/ˈālyən/
adjective
belonging to a foreign country or nation.
Similar:
foreign, overseas, nonnative, external, distant, remote
And what can you do, if your being is unrecognized by the entire world?
It's easier to entertain others with tales that are so far removed from themselves. If the Prefect ever expounds on stories that involve a character named "Yuu", it would invite curiosity, but it would also give others understanding.
Yuu does not want to be understood. Yuu wants to be needed. Yuu needs to be needed.
Being needed means that your existence is required and your presence is enjoyed.
The requirements for being needed are to be someone known to help, someone known to care. Someone capable, someone adaptable. Not someone who has a burden of their own to share.
And—Yuu thinks—who would want their story? Their stories are nothing extravagant and nothing fantastical; merely stories about a teenager who has no idea as to what they're doing. Stories of fun involve characters the students don't know. And oftentimes, other stories with familiar characters such as a "Mother" carry scripts that are too serious to talk of.
Let them remember Yuu as someone capable, is what the Prefect decided.
V. Understanding
It's not to say Yuu will disregard their friends when any of them have something to vent. In fact, Yuu welcomes it—it means that they are being needed, after all. Please do let Yuu know if their ear is needed to listen, and they'll happily help.
Reverse the roles, however, and Yuu will reject such an exchange. Let them keep a pleasant smile on their face, and overlook what you think would be bothering them. Yuu is capable enough to deal with these emotions on their own.
(They would rip up their pillow if they could. To delight in the flurry of stuffing snowing around them and the pillow remains crumbling apart in their hands. Alas, their meager budget cannot accommodate that; so the Prefect opts to crush and poke holes and rip scrap paper until their arms tire.)
Yuu does not need anyone, especially not here. That would imply that Yuu desires a connection with someone from Twisted Wonderland, a world that was never supposed to support their existence in the first place. Yuu cannot need anyone, because then they'll be utterly greedy for favoring this wonderland over their own Earth.
If someone begins to understand Yuu, it means they'll be privy to why the magicless Prefect despises certain things, abhors their home, and hates themself. It is such an embarrassing vulnerability that they would rather pretend it doesn't exist. After all, it is much easier to act as if the Prefect has nothing to worry about, not anything more than an upcoming exam or when Crowley's going to fix the broken lights in the bathroom, anyway.
So please understand that the stories Yuu shares are meant to amuse, not to remember them. Allow them the role of a fantastical being instead of a being as humane as anyone else. Rather than understanding them, please just let them remain a capable and helpful Prefect until they finally are forgotten after they inevitably leave Twisted Wonderland.
