Chapter Text
“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Dean asks softly.
Castiel’s face is as gentle as he’s ever seen it.
“Because it is,” Cas responds, his eyes shining. Dean’s heart pounds as he grapples with everything Cas has said.
Everything you have ever done has been for love.
That is who you are.
You’re the most caring, selfless, loving human being I will ever know.
The words are there, on the edge of his lips, but Death is pounding at the door, and there’s an Emptiness opening up behind him. And then Cas says it.
“I love you.” It hurts. It physically hurts him to hear Cas say it now, now, when there’s no more forgiveness, no more chances, no more hope.
“Don’t do this, Cas,” Dean says, tasting his name. Don’t say goodbye when I haven’t had the chance to tell you how I feel about you.
“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas’ voice is a closing door, as the basement door slams open and Billie stalks into the room. Cas places his hands on Dean’s shoulder, one covering the handprint scar he left so long ago, and shoves Dean to the side. Dean can only watch as the Empty turns into a slime, silently sucking up Billie first, then closing over Cas’ smiling face, disappearing into the wall.
Dean gasps, pressed against the wall where he fell. It’s quiet, so large a silence that the sudden buzzing of his phone sounds like machine gun fire, but even larger is the emptiness where just moments ago Castiel stood.
Dean stares at the wall as his phone lights up again, buzzing and buzzing. It’s Sam, he knows, but he can’t bring himself to pick it up. Instead, he crawls, dragging himself to the wall where the Empty opened up. Still on his knees, he places his hands against it, like he can feel an opening, like he can feel where Cas last was. But he can’t. It’s just a cold, brick wall. Dean slides down the wall, collapsing on his hands and knees. His phone lights up. Sam. He shoves it away violently, but the anger is gone as quick as it came. He can’t answer Sam. He just can’t. All he can do now is hold his head in his hands and cry, knowing he lost his best friend, maybe the one person he was truly in love with, for the final time.
Cas? he tries to pray. Cas always comes when Dean calls, but this time, the room stays empty.
He’s alone.