Chapter Text
The third time James ignored the door, Goo punched it. Frustrated, he brushed his hair behind, letting out a loud heave so James could hear him, understand him - to do something, like he always did. He began marching in a stressed circle, like a ritual for James to get his ass up and open the freaking door.
The door didn’t open.
He starts mumbling incoherent things under his scarf. Occasionally, his gaze flickers outside the hall and settles on the sky, observing the white crystals falling to the ground. It was snowing. Almost Christmas... And it was ridiculous. He's supposed to kiss Santa’s ass or suffocate in the sea of women and soju or something that kicks him to euphoria at times like this.
But why was he here?
'Betray Charles Choi.'
Right.
Gun Park didn't even look at him when he broke it.
Told Goo he only drank because it was him. Finally chose to act, pretended maybe, that they were friends, when they had been acting only the part of it at times, more than it most of the time. The disagreement in Gun Park’s eyes, the sureness in them when he rejected his offer despite the hurt in his eyes too, pressed a sharp sting in his chest. That silent plea to choose him this once, whether it meant they stayed as best friends, best enemies, or lovers - so long as he stayed, it would’ve meant something. But Gun didn’t stay.
Didn’t favoured to.
All this piled-up sadness shape-shifted into a ball of irritation, and they exploded. Something hot burned in his chest; he refused to let them come out as tears. Never tears. He banged the door harder this time.
"James, open the fucking door."
The door opened. James didn’t look impressed. Goo had trespassed into the house with incoherent grumbles before James could ever say anything. James took a moment before closing the door behind them.
He returned his attention to the anxious blonde, "You can put your coat there."
"I don't get it." Goo ignored him, looking at James with vulnerability.
It was rare. Enough to convince him that Goo was capable of being this fragile.
"Why can't he leave Charles?" He spat. Enough that it didn’t crack his voice.
James didn't say anything as he stared into the man's eyes. He turned his back on Goo, picking up the glass he had just used, and poured red wine into it. Handing it to Goo, "Did you ask?"
Goo pinched the bridge of his nose and then reluctantly took the glass. He would shake his head. It was a small gesture. Unsure and timid. "It didn't seem like I could persuade him." He admitted.
"So why did you come here?" James poured himself some wine.
"You and I are in the same boat. We left that old fart," Goo mumbled, staring outside the building. Trying to admire the cityscape, not how he came crashing to his ex’s house.
"I did." James parroted. Still looking at Goo.
Goo nodded, "Predictable."
"How so?"
"You're like, James Lee."
"Oh, that's an explanation."
"You don’t take orders. You had a different goal. You went for it." Goo muttered and gave him the empty glass.
James stared at the glass, then at Goo with a raised brow, before he took it with a reluctant sigh, "What is it." He put the glass on the kitchen counter.
Goo starts to become oddly silent, tapping his feet restlessly, looking down, then at James. His look was almost expectant.
"Can't you convince him?" He asked, polite.
A perfect moment for James to laugh at his fucking four eyed face, but he didn't. His face stayed stoic, "You couldn't?" He knew that.
"Forget it, why did I even ask you?" He was unsure why he even came here and asked his ex to convince the man he liked to give up and settle down for him.
Mad at Gun. Mad at James. Mad at himself, he attempted to bolt out. "Great wine. Thank you, your highness, legend of the first generation. Thy shall leave."
"I did try." Goo stopped at the door. "He seemed adamant." James shifted in his weight, voice neutral, as he stuffed his hands in his pair of shorts, "Must have something to do with the Yamazaki."
Goo said nothing, his hand on the door lever, then James interrupted his action again, "You think I could've stopped him?" It was a tease. Goo could feel his smirk behind him.
Goo turned, "I don't know what I was expecting." He said bitterly, albeit in a resigned tone.
James smiled at him, "But there must be a reason why you're here."
"I really thought you could convince him to leave Charles," Goo explained plainly.
"I couldn't." James hummed.
"I know."
"He just wouldn't leave him."
"I know."
"Even if you asked him nicely?" James tilted his head. Goo felt the lump build in his throat.
"Even that." He didn't have any smart comebacks. Not one wry joke.
"If you can't do it, why would you think I can?" James said the obvious. He walked a few steps closer. They could hear people cheering down the building. It was Christmas after all. A contrast to the thickening tension building in the air. It was quiet, even if Goo was there.
Goo looked up at him, his face solemn, before it flickered back to his usual arrogant look. "You two just seemed close." He mumbled.
"You don’t see any friendship bracelets." James teased.
"You're stronger than him," Goo admitted bluntly.
Somehow the admission sounded loaded with shame. They were supposed to be strong together. Same par, same path. And at this point, he's unsure if he's thinking about Gun or James. The background noise was filled with fireworks and cheers, followed by a Christmas song sung by a band named Wham!. Goo thought this was perfect. It feels like being fucked raw on a festive night.
James stared into his eyes, "So that was it. Just like back then."
Goo looked confused, "What back then?” He spat. James stared into him like he could force the truth out.
Goo took it as a chance to defend himself more, “I'm saying maybe Gun would've listened to you because you're stronger or maybe as strong as him." He chattered, his eyes looking anywhere but at James.
"The reason why you broke up with me." James' tone was firm, lacking his dry humour. "Was it because you thought you were weaker?"
Goo paused, staring at him. The rims of his glasses were coloured by the fireworks; he swallowed as a similar, sickening feeling of being left out haunted him again, making its way up his throat.
It wasn't helpful as James leaned forward and blocked him on the door, both his arms pinning his sides. "That you couldn't catch up?" He tilted his head.
Goo's heartbeat raced faster. He swallowed again, pressing his hands on the man's chest. He felt irritated, "That was years ago. It wasn't that serious. We were idiots." He ridiculed.
"Then why did you break up with me?" James repeated instead.
"Did you come back here because you couldn't catch up with Gun?" And that stung. Goo pushed his chest away from him to create a safe distance, enough that he could think properly.
"I'm leaving."
"Goo, don't."
"Stop trying to hurt my feelings then."
"Goo."
"Fuck you and your pink, sakura fucking-"
"I missed you."
Goo saw it in his eyes. James was yearning. It was faint, but it was enough to remind him of the boy's heart he broke years ago when they were teens.
He had this messy red hair, and Goo was just a runaway when Gun had recruited him as the fourth member of the HNH Group. James was remarkable; he remembered.
But then those silly phrases suddenly came out of his smartass mouth.
"Be my boyfriend."
FIVE YEARS AGO
Everything was going down at him like a big tide of tsunami – his past, Charles Choi, the regional kings and the body parts he had stolen from them – and he thought of the meaning of his life – brilliant fading into nothing but a talented fighter – thoughts of how he should’ve taken that test that would guaranteed him college, maybe taking over his father’s company instead of working under a man who pick him up because of his potential.
His pupils were flicking from one object to another as he restlessly tapped his feet. He glanced at the half-conscious bodies on the floor, briefly going over their bloodied face, blinking, and his senses shifted to the music playing in the background, going over the sound of a generator in the room and to this, stupid, fucking blond Charles insisted coming with him to do the mission – testing the mic in the karaoke room.
“A one, two, a one two three… baby? Why don’t you just make me-“
“You sound awful.” James shot.
The music continued without Goo’s voice, and it sounded better. “Like you’re any better.” He jabbed his mic at him. James gave him a look of challenge.
Goo snatched a nearby mic with a yellow ring wrapping it, tossing it to the older man, silently hoping it would slap him across his face. It didn’t. James caught it smoothly, the mic weighing lightly in his fist as he changed the song on the TV.
“I am better…” He muttered.
Goo sat next to him. Scanning the names of songs on the TV. He gave James a smirk, his dyed brow raised, “Like you could get that high note.”
“You definitely didn’t.” James shot back at him. Goo quickly stopped smiling. He clicked his tongue and watched in annoyance as Jihoon adjusted the setting. Wishing he were with Gun instead. At least the man’s bad Korean took him a while for a comeback.
Some of the men who were beginning to gain their consciousness closed their eyes again at the sight of the red-haired teen, closing tighter when he heard the blonde’s high-pitched tone. Hoping they could just leave and get some ointments. Suddenly, they heard a melodious tone sound in the air. The other guy on his feet whispered, ‘Is that him? James Lee?’ he had to confirm.
Goo had his jaw dropped at his beautiful voice, reaching a certain note that was more annoying than admirable. He made a sulking face as he waited for the song to end. It was annoyingly phenomenal, and James knew it, with the way he smirked at Goo.
When the song ended, Goo didn’t clap. He snatched the remote. Changing it to his favourite song that will surely make him hit some notes, thanks to his thousands of attempts to make it sound good in the bathroom.
James chuckled, “Not even a ‘that was good’?”
“No, you get a that was so bad,” Goo said pensively.
“Really? Cause I swear I saw you shed some tears.” James teased him.
Goo frowned, “Because they hurt my ears, if yes.” He said sassily.
James sneered, giving Goo some looks when the blonde started singing. He was sadly bad at singing. But he couldn't care less. He sighed softly as he scrolled down the messages on his phone. He updated the mission to Charles. Sighing to himself again. Turning to look at the blonde next to him, whose face reddened with veins popping out of his neck. It was a hilarious sight; he could only suppress his laughter.
What an idiot.
But the smile disappeared when he thought of the stress he’s been feeling this week. Not that he hadn’t looked up for things to ease his mind, to fill the emptiness, and answer his depressing existential thoughts. But he’s done everything. Blind dates, blind fights, blind drinks, and sex… everything. He would glance at the blonde, for a while, his head was empty.
Has an idiot like Goo ever doubted themselves? Spiral to insanity, like he has done every day?
When Goo finished his song, Goo nodded in satisfaction at the following beat. Did you see that? I nailed that shit, and he most definitely didn’t. James said nothing.
“Goo,” He called, and Goo turned to look at him with a smirk, popping the cola bottle open.
He chugged down the carbonated drink like it was soju.
"What?"
“Be my boyfriend,” James confessed, empty-headed. Goo blew the water into the air like confetti.
He whipped his head at James, brushing his nose, “What?!” He asked in disbelief.
James grimaced at the sight. He composed himself. His eyes were serious, “Be my partner. My boyfriend.” He repeated.
Goo stared with droplets of water dripping from his chin. The colourful lights spinning around on their skins. The upbeat music filled the silence. The sight itself looked like a warning from the Universe to James. That he’s asking for this dipshit to be his boyfriend out of a whim.
“Well, are you rich?” Goo asked instead, his face calmer as he wiped his nose. The question caught James off guard. He was expecting Goo's doubt about their sexuality. But he's here asking for financial stability instead.
James cleared his throat, “No, not really,” he answered, looking around a bit, touching his nose, pretending it itched.
“Would you lend me some money?” Goo tilted his head, shoving the tissues up into his nostrils.
James looked at him again, and a brief silence passed between them. Then, yes. “Yes.” He said. “Sure. I’ll lend you money.” He added.
“Then we're dating!” Goo announced, laughing loudly as he opened his arms. James politely refused the hug.
The man on the floor was growing confused, whispering to each other with their frowns deepening.
“You’re going?” James asked, sitting straighter as he tried to relax.
“Yeah, it’s getting late.” He hummed. He took his phone from the table. They were both awkward in their movements now.
James stood up too, “I’ll drop you home.”
“You don’t even know my place.”
James shrugged, “Then I’m about to.”
“Right, boyfriend.” Goo pointed at him, and they shared a knowing look, an agreement. They both headed out.
During the ride on James' motorcycle, Goo didn’t hold the man’s waist, holding on the back for dear life despite the speed. When he stared at James's back, he wondered why the sudden proposal? Maybe it was just a joke. He ridiculed, scoffing on the ride home. No, James wouldn't dare to mess with him.
When they arrived, Goo handed the helmet, and James refused to take it.
“Take it as a sign that we’re dating.”
“What if I break it?” Goo looked over the expensive helmet.
“Then I’ll snap your neck open,” He threatened. Goo arched his brow. The man grinned, patting his head, “Then give you a kiss.”
Goo laughed mockingly, pushing his hand away, “We’re really dating? Hey, I wasn’t joking about wanting that money.” He warned.
“And I wasn’t joking about the kiss.” James retorted, smacking Goo’s ass, making Goo yelp.
He clutched his ass tightly. "Don't do that again."
"Noted."
James gripped the motor’s handle as the engine roared to life, waking the whole neighbourhood. “See ya,” He said and drove away.
Goo stared closely at the disappearing figure. He took out his glasses and pinched his eyes. "What the hell..." He murmured.
He looked at the helmet, accidentally dropped it, had a heart attack, tried to pick it up, but scratched his head instead, groaning to himself. The dogs began to bark after the loud thud of the helmet. Goo was confused. What did he just agree to? Did he just say yes to dating James Lee? He’s dating THE James Lee??
Holy. Shit.