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Jiniret gave a little giggle as his appa booped his nose with the eraser of his pencil. His appa was writing again and very intensely. He watched as his appa wrote, and wrote and wrote. He’d write for five minutes before he’d scrunch his nose, rip the paper off the note pad, crush it into a ball and toss it over his shoulder. As time passed the pile behind Hyunjin grew and the pad got thinner. After an hour Jiniret had doodled a full garden scenery and Hyunjin was leaning on his left hand, fingers through his hair as he couldn’t seem to get the words right. A little chirp brought them out of their head space and they looked to the side. Felix was holding a plate of brownies with Bbokari’s head poking out of his hoodie.
“Yongbok-ah” Hyunjin smiled. “Is that for me?”
“Figured you needed a snack, you’ve been at it for an hour.” Felix smiled. Hyunjin looked at his clock and sure enough it had been an hour. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. Felix walked into the room, placing the plate next to Jiniret who trilled in delight and broke a small piece off a brownie to nibble on. His tail wagged in delight and a squeal came out after taking the first bite.
Appa Lixie’s brownies are the best!! They heard in their head and Bbokari chirped back.
Appa is the best baker ever! Bbokari replied back and Felix’s ears turned pink while Hyunjin smiled.
“Felix is our sunshine~” Hyunjin sang back and Felix gave a small chuckle, going behind him and placed his hand on Hyunjin’s shoulders. A groan left Hyunjin’s lips as Felix started massaging his shoulders. Hyunjin’s head tilted back against Felix’s tummy while Felix looked down with a smug smirk. Everyone loved Felix’s massages…even if they did hurt sometimes because they had so many knots and he was good at massaging them out.
“What are you working on?”
“Writing…for Stay…” he groaned and Felix hummed in delight.
“Oh, for Stay?!”
“Yeah, but I keep getting stuuuu-” he moaned when Felix pressed deeper into his shoulder and massaged a stubborn knot out. He let himself melt into it, sprawling on his chair. Jiniret and Bbokari giggled at his dramatic reaction. Felix kept going for a few more minutes before Hyunjin tapped his forearms.
“Thanks, Lixie-yah.” he sighed and sat up. Felix grabbed another chair and pulled it next to Hyunjin so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. He looked at the notepad and glanced at Hyunjin for permission and only started reading once Hyunjin nodded in consent.
봄날 같던 어느 여름날
처음 너의 이름 가슴에 새긴다
널 사랑한 수를 세 보니
저 하늘에 수많은 별처럼
숨길 수 없을 만큼
그 조각들을 하나하나 다
내 마음 깊이 담아내서 난
버틸 수 있어 널 꺼내 보면 되니까
(On a summer day that felt like a spring day, I engraved your name in my heart for the first time. I counted the number of times I loved you, and like the countless stars in the sky, I couldn't hide it.
I can endure it because I put all the pieces deep in my heart, all I have to do is take you out.)
“That’s a good start.” Felix mumbled and Hyunjin huffed.
“I’m having a hard time adding more…there’s so much I want to say to Stay, but I can’t fully put it into words yet.” Hyunjin looked at the picture on his desk of the day they had the virtual FanMeet. All the messages Stay had recorded for them and their voices full of love and emotion.
“If it’s ok,” Felix’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and he glanced at him to see Felix shyly looking at the lyrics. “maybe, I can help you out.”
“You wanna help with the lyrics?” Hyunjin asked.
“Only if you want to.” He added quickly, neck lightly flushing. Then he yelped as Hyunjin suddenly threw his arms around him and Bbokari jumped out of the hoodie and onto the desk to not be squished by the hug.
“Aaaaw Lixie-yah you want to write a song with me?!” Hyunjin cooed at him and Felix's ears got warmer. At his friend’s nod Hyunjin gave another cooing sound before running his hands gently through Felix’s hair.
“It’s a great honor to have you write with me.” He replied softly and Felix couldn’t help the thrilled hum that vibrated in his throat. Bbokari and Jiniret giggled as they went to the pencil pouch on Hyunjin’s desk so they could get Felix a pencil to write with as well. Hyunjin handed him another note pad from his desk drawer and they started writing.
Jiniret and Bbokari would occasionally hand them each another brownie while they shared a brownie between them. They were so focused on bouncing ideas with each other and writing that they didn’t notice another hour passed until a soft knock on the door startled them. Chan was standing there with his arms crossed, eyebrows raised.
“You two are supposed to be with Lino at the studio for rehearsals in 10 minutes.” He reminded them. They snapped their heads to the clock and Hyunjin yelped, hurrying to the closet to grab his dance shoes and hoodie while Felix calmly put the papers away back in the desk drawer.
“Hyunjin it’s ok-“ he tried to sooth.
“No it’s NOT! You’re his favorite, you can do no wrong! You’re not the one getting tissues shoved in their mouth and threatened with the air fryer!” He wailed and Jiniret whimpered, knowing Leebit would surely threaten to bite him again too. Bbokari gave him a soft pat and a comforting chirp that calmed him a bit.
Chan tried hard not to laugh and awkwardly laughed into his hand while Hyunjin sent him a mournful glare.
“What were you guys doing anyway? You don’t usually let time slip from you like this.”
“We’re writing a song.” Felix replied enthusiastically. “Well, Hyunjin-nah is anyway, I’m just helping a little.”
“Really?!” Chan replied with curiosity. “Is it going to be like Red Lights?”
A chuckle left Hyunjin but a soft smile replaced it.
“No, it’s for Stay.” A look of understanding crossed Chan’s face.
“Oooh, well if you need anything let me know.”
“Thanks Hyung.” He smiled and then yelped again before grabbing Felix by the hand, making sure their children were with them and rushing him out to the front door after looking at the clock on the desk again. “I’m so air fried!”
“I’ll take the blame Hyunjin-“
“No! Even if he were to believe you he’ll still grill me for not taking the fall for you.”
Chan laughed as they ran out, shaking his head. Curiously he craned his neck to the lyrics before taking a step back and looking away. As curious as he was he shouldn’t take a peek yet. When they were ready he would be here. A small yip from the kitchen brought him back to the present, reminding him that he and Wolf-Chan were working dinner.
***Three Hours Later***
“I’m dying!” Hyunjin fake sobbed as he, Felix and I.N walked through the doorway. Lino rolled his eyes as he walked behind them. I.N had joined them after finishing his vocal lessons and had overheard Hyunjin and Felix talking about the song they were working on. He had offered some suggestions before being invited to join them in the song writing. Hyunjin had even offered it to Lino but he had declined, saying that too many writers would muddle the intention of the song. Lino could also see that this was more of a maknae line project between Hyunjin as his favorite people and he wanted to leave them to it.
“You’ll live,” Lino huffed, “you’re lucky I didn’t make you stay longer.”
“And we’re very thankful for it Lino-hyung.” Felix smiled and Hyunjin pouted as Lino’s glare to him switched to a softer and playful glare to Felix. Hyunjin sniffed and pulled I.N with him but not before sulkily mumbling.
“Told you, you were his favorite.”
“I don’t have favorites.” Lino shot back but I.N coughed into his fist which sounded suspiciously like Han and Felix. After their shower and having dinner they went back to writing, with Innie in tow this time.
Jiniret and Bbokari were cuddled around FoxI.Ny on their nest pillow. A little scented candle was placed next to them to keep them warm while their dads continued to write.
“What if we switched it to I’m going to present you a pink cherry blossom petal.” Innie suggested.
“Oh I like that!” Hyunjin replied and scratched the previous line and wrote the new one.
“Someday I'll get exhausted and cry
Fall down and feel pain again
It doesn't matter, once again
I can endure by looking at you
'Cause I love you.” Felix mumbled as he read the other part Hyunjin had written on another piece of paper. “That’s really heartfelt Hyunjin-nah.”
“I was remembering…that time…it was hard for us, but Stay still, you know, stayed.” Hyunjin replied. A sombre feeling settled over them as they thought back on that day. When he left and they were left behind to pick up the pieces. “Stay was hurting just as much as we did, they needed comfort too.”
“We became stronger in the end.” Innie replied in a soft voice and Felix sighed.
“We kept going because of Stay’s love and support.”
“I will never make you lonely
You'll always be beside me
I'll cherish this happiness you gave me” Innie softly sang and both Hyunjin and Felix looked at him with wonder.
“That’s perfect.” Hyunjin muttered. Innie yelped and moaned in protest as he was aggressively hugged and his hair messed with.
“OUR INNIE IS A GENIUS!!” he yelled. Felix laughed and Innie pushed against Hyunjin’s chest but his affectionate hyung kept holding on.
“Let goooo.” Innie groaned. Thankfully he did and Innie sighed in relief. Hyunjin gave a small pout.
“Why can’t you be like FoxI.Ny? He lets Bbokari and Jiniret cuddle with him.” Hyunjin mumbles and the other two look over to indeed see Bbokari and Jiniret cuddled closely to the kit. Before Innie could retort, a knock on the door interrupted them. It was Lino at the door this time.
“It’s getting late and we have schedules tomorrow,” he said. They looked to the clock to see it was already close to midnight. “How’s the song writing coming along?”
“I think we’ll be done by the end of the week if we don’t get more added to our schedules.” Hyunjin replied, “We can have Chan hyung help with the music and start recording soon after; I want us all to sing it…for Stay.” The corner of Lino’s lips curled softly.
“Can’t wait.” he replied.
***Recording Day, 1 month later***
“Can I listen to the demo Hyung?” Seungmin asks. They’re in the recording studio, Hyunjin’s leg is bouncing in excitement as he nods and plays the demo. A soft piano melody flows through the speakers and Seungmin closes his eyes, letting the music flow and fill him. Hyunjin’s voice softly croons through the headphones and when he gets to his part he softly hums along.
“Want to give it a try?” Hyunjin asks.
“Yup.” he replies. The song starts again, and when he gets to his part he lets his voice sing. Half way through he winces, not liking how it sounds. “Yah, again, again.”
Hyunjin gives a small chuckle and nods.
“Maybe go higher at that part and then come back down.” Seungmin sings the part as practice and Hyunjin cheers when it lands.
“Oh, oh, oh yes! There it is!” Hyunjin cheered. Seungming gave a little smile and PuppyM who was sitting on top of a speaker with Jiniret cheered as well. He tried a few more versions of the line and then a few other adlibs before he was done.
“Done!”
“Done~”
“This is a great song, Hyunjin-nah.” Seungmin replied softly. “I think Stay will really like it.”
“I hope so.” Hyunjin agreed.
***Felix’s Turn***
“Ready Lixie-yah~” Hyunjin sang and Felix chuckled.
“Let’s get it!” He replied.
“I actually want to try something different.” Hyunjin said.
“Oh?” Felix asked.
“Higher register.” Hyunjin smiled and Felix returned it.
“Really?”
“Yeah, let’s play with it. STAY don’t get to hear you sing like this often. I know the demo is lower but I want to change it.”
“Alright then-oh Chan-hyung!” Felix perked up as he watched Chan come in and Hyunjin looked behind him in delight.
“You came just in time, Felix is gonna sing in his higher register.”
“Oooh, Let’s go Felix!” Chan cheered in English and Felix laughed.
Can I suggest something?! Bbokari chirped in excitement.
“Of course Bbokari.” Hyunjin encouraged with a fond smile. Hyunjin pressed the red button and the little chick surprised them when it whistled a melody of the lyrics.
“Woooah, that’s the perfect sound we’re looking for!” Hyunjin cheered and Felix cheered back.
“So Felix, keep that intonation and pitch with the lyrics.” Chan repeated it with hand movements. Felix copied him back and both producers made a hum of approval. They started the track again and when it was Felix’s cue he let his voice flow. When he was done the track was stopped and it was silent for a moment. Felix started getting nervous, thinking it hadn’t come out right, he glanced to the window and saw both Chan and Hyunjin looking at him with their faces scrunched up.
To anyone who didn’t know them they’d think their expressions were one of disgust. He knew them better though, those were faces of delight and approval. They loved it.
“Hell yeah! That was good!” Chan hooted while Hyunjin shook his head in agreement.
“Felix’s angel voice strikes again.” Hyunjin agreed and Felix did a deep voice hehe while lowering his beanie to cover his face in shyness. He wasn’t one for ballad-like tones, insecure about his voice in this style but he was glad the people he looked up to approved of it.
So the flow continued in the same way; the song was recorded over the course of a few more weeks. Their schedules keep them busy and not always to record consistently. A few lines were re-recorded by Hyunjin but the rest of his members exceeded his expectations. He sat with Chan, Changbin, and Han as the final touches were done. Chan let the song play and Hyunjin listened with his eyes closed.
Chan kept his gaze on Hyunjin as the song played, watching his reactions. Every tilt of his head, every pouty face he made, and every change in breathing whenever certain parts of the song evoked more emotion. So far he was giving the reactions he usually had when he loved a song. He glanced at Wolf-Chan who was already looking at him. His little SKZoo had a calm stare but Chan could see his tail twitch in nervousness. He glanced over to Jiniret who was nestled in Hyunjin’s hands as they listened to the song. Jiniret's ears also twitched and moved as it caught particular notes or beats in the song. Then, to all of their surprise, tears started rolling down Jiniret’s cheeks. When the song was done and Hyunjin had opened his eyes they noticed they were glossy while Jiniret gave a little hiccup as more tears rolled down its cheeks. Hyunjin jumped slightly as he noticed Jiniret crying and cooed at him, bringing him up to eye height.
“Oh Jiniret, what’s wrong?” Hyunjin asked softly. “Why are you crying? You didn’t like it?”
I loved it appa…Jiniret replied. I loved it an you did too…that’s why I am crying.
The four of them looked at Jiniret with surprise. Chan looked at Wolf-Chan, ironically also the oldest Skzoo to be born and he nodded.
We are the representation of you, a piece of your soul. We are connected to you, so we can also feel your emotions. Sometimes when you try to control your emotions or they overwhelm you we end up feeling it too, and…well, we end up releasing the emotions you don’t want to show.
At the end of this explanation Hyunjin tensed, not looking at anyone but Jiniret who was still crying. He wiped Jiniret’s tears and pressed his forehead against his and they watched in surprise as Hyunjin let his own tears come out. As his tears fell Jiniret’s own tears lessened till they both stopped a minute later. Han cleared his throat, hesitated before asking.
“So…that means you like how it came out?”
Hyunjin gave a tearful laugh and Changbin scoffed before smacking the back of Han’s neck and he yelped.
“I loved it.” Hyunjin replied, wiping his tears with the back of his hand and then using his finger to wipe the last of Jiniret’s tears. “I think STAY will love it too. Thanks guys.”
“Don’t thank us Hyunjin,” Chan said softly. “You’re the one who created this song for STAY and I’m pretty sure they’re going to love it.”
It was beautiful! They turned to the speakers and saw both Han Quokka and Dwaekki crying. Hyunjin and Chan looked at them in amusement before glancing at their respective parents whose cheeks and ears were flushed pink.
“Ya!” Han protested, “Don’t out us like that!”
Then you control your emotions appa! Quokka sniffled back and this time Chan and Hyunjin couldn’t stop the laugh that came out.
*****MV Release*****
Hyunjin watched as the MV was released and the comments started rolling.
when you fall in love with stray kids you can never turn back . they create such beautiful and special and unforgettable moments ! and i could hold back my tears in any more it just pored out while listening to this song ! We will always love stray kids no matter what happens!
i’m crying, the way they just straight up said that they love us, it’s so simple but sometimes people forget how powerful that word is :,( stay love stray kids just as much, we‘ll always be by their side <3
#loveSTAY
"I will never make you lonely" Such a sincere text from the heart. SKZ keep making your own music ️️️
Many more comments like this came through and he felt a big weight being lifted and warmth sparking in his chest.
They love it appa! Jiniret purred as he read the comments from Hyunjin’s shoulder which he was perching at. Of course there were a few negative comments but they were buried within seconds and more STAY commented on their love for the song.
“HYUNJINAH WE DID IT!!” Felix called out as he burst through the front door. Felix and I.N had gone to get ice cream and had just gotten back. I.N playing the MV on his phone for what seems the 10th time today while Felix was just vibrating in excitement. Lino, who’d gone with them, was just looking at them with a smirk of pride.
“You guys wrote the song. You should be proud.” he replied before heading over to the kitchen to start on lunch. “Chan-hyung is coming back with the others so we can celebrate.”
Leebit jumped from Lino’s shoulder as he passed by the couch where Hyunjin was lounging on and landed on the back of the couch. He headed over to Jiniret and gave him a pat on the head.
Good job Jiniret.
Jiniret looked at him confused but decided to take the compliment. It wasn’t often that the mischievous bunny gave compliments often, just like his dad.
Hyunjin played the song again and as everyone started arriving and getting settled he couldn’t help but grin softly. STAY and SKZ, his family, his reason for doing what he does. He wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, he was exactly where he needed to be.