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Five Minute Call

Summary:

Inspired by the cast's different facebook livestreams backstage. What am I even doing with my life?

Notes:

This is probably not how it goes at all- Leslie said the cast is very focused, and I know they're far more professional than this irl, but I just had to do this.

Work Text:

"Have y'all seen my coconut curls?" Daveed called, "That shit was half-full last night."

“I haven’t seen it,” Renee muttered, and Pippa suggested he check in his own hair, it could probably get lost in there. Chris Jackson looked up from where he was zipping up his boots, the loud notes of Lin's incessant belting disturbing any sense of calm backstage maintained prior. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Do I sound alright?" Lin came bounding in, ruffling his ruffles, and Chris grinned manically.

"As the kids today say- YAAASSS!"

Up in his own dressing room, Leslie desperately shouted for the time. "What time is it?!"

"Don't you have a clock?!" Oak shouted back.

"My phone's out of reach, I'm getting my mic on!"

"Let me get it for you, princess," Daveed muttered, entering Leslie’s change room with his shirt half-buttoned. "Seven o'clock. Should be-"

"Five minute call, everyone, five minutes."

"Shit shit shit!" Leslie yelped, nearly toppling headfirst into his mirror in an effort to tug on a boot.

"You always get ready so late," Lin complained, popping by his door, "You're not a very responsible human being, I don't know why I hired you."

"Y'know, I'm going to enjoy shooting you tonight." Lin darted off again, doing up his hair as he ran down to Jonathan's dressing room.

"My love, my darling," he said, opening his arms, "Why aren't you dressed yet either?"

"Because I knew you'd come in, and what good are layers when you're just going to try and burrow under them?"

"You make a very compelling point," Lin whined, and launched himself onto the couch, slotting his lips over Groff's immediately and threading their fingers together. Suddenly, he pulled away, eyes wide.

"Oh my god babe, I just realized something."

"What, babe?"

"Babe- we're totally in the play!"

"What, babe?! Are you actually serious right now?!"

"I am totally serious, babe, and we're not even seniors- I mean holy shit, right?" Jonathan fanned himself, faking hyperventilation. 

"I'm like, so nervous, I spent all of math class going over my lines- I wonder if my uncle's going to come see me."

"If he doesn't, I'll get my mom to tape it for us."

"You would do that, babe?"

"Of course, babe, we're in the fucking play!"

"LIN, QUIT MAKING OUT WITH GROFF AND GET ON STAGE! THAT'S AN ORDER FROM YOUR COMMANDER!" Chris bellowed, walking by the door to the stage door.

"Geez pops, I'm coming. Why you gotta be such a controlling cinnamon roll?"

"What the fuck?"

"Too good for this world, my tol angry muffin man."

"Sometimes I wonder if you're high. Then I remember who I'm talking to."

"You don't want to see him high, trust me," Jasmine cackled.

"Nah, you sure as fuck don't," Anthony added, dropping in to steal a hair tie for his Laurens hairdo. Chris frowned, wondering what he was missing. Suddenly, they heard Leslie again.

"TIME?!"

"Time for you-"

"To get a watch!" Pippa interjected, giggling, and Groff and Lin high fived her. Oak rolled his eyes.

"Can we just get to our places please?"

"But I'm doing a facebook live stream!"

"Leslie, I swear to fuck-"

"Okay, I'm coming."

"Places, everyone, places."

"I'm cOMING!" Leslie screeched, "Fuck!"

"Aaron Burr, sir?"

"What is it, Alexander?" Leslie played along.

"Did I just hear you curse in an ungentlemanly fashion, sir?"

"Fuck that motherfucking shit." Lin blinked.

"I concur, sir."

"On the stage," Oak hissed, "N o w!"

"Oh, you used my coconut shit, didn't you?!" Daveed yelled, crossing his arms and glaring at Oak.

"What? Man, I-"

“You don’t even got enough hair for that shit!”

“Dav-“

"I can smell it on you, you smell like a mothafuckin' tropical cruise," he drilled, his expression less than impressed. 

"I'm sorry, okay? I just ran out of my own."

"Duel, duel, duel!" Lin chanted, clapping, and his two cast mates stared over at him.

"Everyone good with their mics?" the stagehand asked. 

"Yeah, I'm good!" Leslie announced, and waved goodbye to his live stream. Chris snatched his phone away, and tossed it back into whoever's dressing room was behind him- Daveed's probably.

"Y'all ready?" the tall rapper grinned.

"Let's kick it," Lin nodded, making an aggressive grunt and extending his arms in a totally adorable and not intimidating way. Places were taken, and the lights went on...

And as the music began on "Alexander Hamilton," Leslie realized he had forgotten his underwear.