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“Don’t you think that was a little far, Bakugou?” One of the extras said, caution in his voice.
“The hell did you just say? You’re seriously defending a quirkless loser just cuz I said the truth?” Katsuki spat out in defense of himself.
“Of course not! You’re right- sorry…”
“Tch.”
Izuku Midoriya was a nuisance to Katsuki- and it would always be that way. Ever since they were kids, the nerd always acted like he was better than him; always trying to help him, always looking down on him- Katsuki didn’t need help. Especially not from him- so, everyone had to know that no matter what, Katsuki would always be superior- especially to some loser deku like Izuku.
However, while Katsuki would rather die than say it out loud, a part of him did.. care.. about Deku- a little too much than he should. One of the extras that hangs around him had the nerve to joke about Katsuki being in love with Izuku just because he “talked about him so much”. Ha! As if. What do they know? They weren’t even his friends; just people that leeched off of him- he couldn’t even remember their names.
That being said… maybe he did go a little too far with the whole “take a swan dive off of the roof of the building.” But Izuku knew he was just saying shit to say shit- right? It’s not like he actually would take his ‘advice’ or anythi-
Thump!
A loud sound came from behind him and the others- he was about to turn around to see what possibly could’ve made that loud of a thump, when a thought came into his head.
The nerd wouldn’t have taken his advice. Right..?
He heard gasps coming from the extras, and a shrill shriek from a nearby citizen, and Katsuki’s blood ran cold. He was just overthinking shit- the nerd wouldn’t be that stupid...
Slowly, he turned around- and his heart stopped.
Right in front of him, lying on the ground, was Izuku. Izuku Midoriya. Deku. His old, childhood friend. The boy he hated. The boy he once didn’t mind. The boy he…
A pool of crimson blood leaked onto the concrete sidewalk from Izuku’s head, matting in his green hair. His once wide, stupidly happy eyes were now empty- half lidded, and staring right at Katsuki.
Izuku stared at him.
He stared back.
He retched.
Vomit spilled from his stomach, and splattered on his school shoes, but he didn’t care. He could see the extra’s yelling and running away, but he didn’t care. He could feel his vision beginning to spin and blur, but he didn’t care.
Taking one last look at Dek- Izuku, Katsuki felt his eyes roll to the back of his head, losing his footing as his vision went black.
_____
“Kacchan?? Kacchan!! You’re awake!!”
Katsuki blinked a few times, staring up at a white, tiled ceiling. He rubbed his eyelids, not even registering the familiar voice beside him before it spoke again.
“Ah.. sorry- did I wake you up? I must’ve been muttering… sorry…”
Katsuki frowned in confusion, white fluorescent lights blinding his vision. Squinting, he looked around the room. Slowly but surely he began to move the rest of his body, wiggling around in what seemed to be a very uncomfortable bed. There was a boxy tv hung up on the wall opposite him and cheap blue curtains sat unpulled in the corner. Everything was very white. Ah- this must’ve been a hospital room- but why was he here…?
In the corner of his eye he spotted a tuft of green, unruly hair- which could only belong to one person.
He turned to look at Izuku, who was sitting awkwardly in a chair next to the bed with an IV pole next to him. He had a bandage wrapped around half his head, and he looked very tired. Before Katsuki could ask him what the hell was going on, memories began to flood his mind.
Bloody, matted hair. An unmoving body. Eyes that stared at him.
Dead eyes.
Katsuki’s breath hitched, and he immediately stood up in bed- which seemed to be a terrible idea considering his vision turned black at the edges and he immediately felt woozy. He quickly sat down on the edge of his bed, noticing he was still wearing his school clothes.
“Agh! Kacchan! Don’t stand up too quickly! You hit your head pretty hard when you fainted, so be careful alright?”
Katsuki simply stared at Izuku with wide, terrified eyes. “You. are you- how- how are you…” he stumbled over his words, unable to form a sentence.
Izuku let out a sad laugh. “Alive? Honestly, I don’t know either- apparently I hit the ground in a way that only gave me a severe concussion and cut- they said it’s a miracle I even made it..” he trailed off, and he sounded almost disappointed.
Katsuki didn’t reply, and instead kept his mouth hanging slightly agape, staring at Izuku with mixed reactions- was he- was he dreaming this?
Izuku’s face contorted into a guilty expression after being met with silence “ah.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I pitied you by being here or something- which I don’t!!! So um… I’ll go… sorry…” he nervously scratched the back of his neck, weakly grabbing his IV pole and slowly starting to stand up.
“Wait Deku- don’t… just wait.” Katsuki found himself pleading, reaching a hand out despite the boy being out of arms reach. “I.. why did you- did you try and…”
Izuku paused, not meeting his eye and slowly nodding. “Yeah. I did try to.. jump. I’m sorry that it didn’t work though- believe me; I wanted it to work more than anyone..”
Katsuki felt his blood boil- clenching a fist. How dare he assume that he would want the shitty nerd dead! Sure, he… maybe hated him, but not enough to want him to die!
“Take a swan dive off of the roof of the building.”
Katsuki flinched at the thought of his own words- okay, maybe he did have a valid reason for believing that- but still! He was a bully- not some psychopathic maniac!
“The fuck you apologising for? I didn’t actually want your nerd ass to die.. none the less you do it yourself… fuck…”
Izuku’s eyes went wide, and he smiled. He actually fucking smiled. What the hell?? Why was he being so fucking nice?? He should hate Katsuki. He shouldn't even be in his hospital room- he should be resting in bed or something- not apologising to his bully for not dying or some bullshit.
An unfamiliar feeling rushed through Katsuki’s body- he felt… guilty- no, he felt worse than guilty- he felt horrible. He didn’t deserve this. Life had given him a second chance at his.. relationship with Izuku, but he didn’t fucking deserve it. Izuku deserved to live, but not Katsuki.
“Don’t do that shit. Don’t act like everything is okay- don’t act like everything I did is okay. I almost… killed you…” a lump formed in his throat as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, before he angrily wiped them away. Katsuki Bakugou did not cry, for god’s sake- especially over Deku of all people.
A confused look spread across Izuku’s face. “Kacchan, you didn’t try to kill me… I did.” He twiddled with his fingers sheepishly, head hanging low as he looked up at Katsuki. Katsuki’s heart skipped a beat, before he cleared his throat.
“Which was a stupid fucking idea by the way- what the hell Deku!? What about Auntie? What about All Might? What about… me?? You can’t- fuck! Why the fuck would you do that to me??” He yelled, a pained expression on his face as he clutched his chest. He knew it was selfish to say that, he knew that the last person Izuku should be thinking about at that moment was him, but he didn’t know how else to show that he… cared.
Katsuki felt the word ‘sorry’ begging to leap out of his throat, and he wanted so badly to say it- it felt like ever since seeing Izuku laying lifeless on that ground, he had had an epiphany- like the asshole switch in his head had been turned off, and he could finally see the shit he had been doing all this time and how it affected Izuku.
He just hates that this is what it took to make him realise that.
After a beat of silence, Izuku slowly began shuffling towards the door, and Katsuki just watched him go, unable to say anything. Just as he was about to open the door, he paused- his hand on the handle.
“For the record Kacchan, I know you didn’t mean it. And I know deep down, somewhere inside- you do care. Even if you don’t want to admit it. I just… wished you had apologized when you still had the chance to.”
With that, he opened the door, and shut it behind him, leaving Katsuki standing up, mouth still agape- the hell did that mean?
_____
The drive back home was silent- his mom looked devastated, mascara smudged and his dad looked lifeless, staring out the window with a solemn expression on his face. He kept noticing his mom stealing quick glances at him in the rearview mirror, and would give him a sympathetic expression before turning back to the road. Did they know what Katsuki had done to Izuku? What he had said? For the first time in his life, he didn’t mind if they knew- he deserved whatever punishment they gave him anyway.
Finally, the car pulled to a stop, and everyone sat in silence for a brief second, before his dad sighed and stepped out of the car.
“Kats-” his mom began- but Katsuki quickly got out of the car and slammed the door, with a little too much force than he had meant to. As soon as his dad- who still looked like a zombie- had unlocked the front door, Katsuki stormed upstairs to his room, tossing his bag on the floor and leaning against the door, sliding down before putting his head into his hands.
Izuku was alive. Izuku was okay- maybe not mentally, and maybe not exactly physically- but he was alive. And that’s all that mattered right now. But even still, he couldn’t get that image out of his head- seeing a dead body was one thing, but seeing Izuku’s ‘dead’ body- even if he wasn’t actually dead- was something else entirely.
He heard three soft knocks against his door, and he buried his face into his arms even more.
“Go away hag” he mumbled, feeling tears pooling at his eyes. Stupid tears.
“Katsuki.” his mom’s tired voice came from the other side “I know you don’t want to talk right now, and that’s okay- but… we’re here for you- okay Brat? I know seeing that must’ve been scary as hell.”
Katsuki wanted to set the door alight- he wasn’t fuckin’ scared, he was just…
“And I made you some mapo tofu, so you better eat it alright?” his mom piped up again, taking a pause before he heard her footsteps hesitantly head down the hallway.
Once he was certain she was gone, he opened the door a crack and timidly grabbed the bowl before shutting it again. He and his mom had always been told they looked similar- and that was true- but their personalities were pretty alike too. Neither were good with that touchy-feely shit, and while she didn’t exactly say it, she had her ways of showing that she loved Katsuki- and that he was grateful for.
He looked down into the steamy bowl of tofu. He knew Izuku probably wouldn’t be at school tomorrow due to his… well everything, so Katsuki had time to prepare himself to see his stupid face again. He was afraid that even just looking at someone who had green eyes would immediately trigger him into seeing those dead ones; the ones that were dead because of him.
He was shit at apologies- in fact, he didn’t think he had ever apologised before actually- but he sure as hell was gonna try.
_____
Katsuki didn’t bother going to school the next day- afterall, what was the point if Izuku wouldn’t be there, so he stayed home and tried to catch up school work, but it was near impossible.
The only thing that was going through his head was a mix of guilt and the thought of Izuku; Izuku, lying in a hospital bed because of Katsuki. Izuku, wincing as he moved an inch because of Katsuki. Izuku, wishing he were dead because of Katsuki. Everything “wrong” with Izuku, was caused by Katsuki and his inability to keep his mouth shut.
“Fuck…” he muttered, dragging his hands down his face. He had made an attempt on starting his homework, but his brain just wouldn't shut up. All he could think about was him.
So be it- if Katsuki wanted to see Izuku that bad, then he would.
Puffing out his chest, he marched downstairs and saw his mom; sitting on the couch, simply staring at the wall with a deadpanned expression. Katsuki awkwardly cleared his throat, unsure of what to say and his mom seemed to quickly snap out of it- a small, sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, plastered on her face.
“Ah, Katsuki. Are you okay? Do you need anything?” She worriedly asked, looking him up and down- Katsuki physically cringed- the hell? She seemed so different than before the hospital visit the other day- so… scarily caring.
Katsuki shoved his hands in his pockets, not meeting her eyes “er- well, I thought maybe we could go visit Dek- Izuku… or something.” He kicked awkwardly at the carpet. He heard his mom sigh, and shuffle on the couch.
“Well Kats… I.. don’t think I’m quite ready for that. Your father might be able to take you however, go check with him- he’s in his room. If not, it’s not a far walk from here to there, so you could easily walk there.”
Katsuki frowned at this “the hell are you talking about? The hospital’s on the other side of the damn city! I… care about the Nerd, but I ain’t willing to walk that far just to talk to him.” he scoffed, folding his arms and staring at the floor. That was probably a lie, he was willing to do anything for him at this point- but he would rather swallow a porcupine whole than admit that.
His mom gave him a confused look. “Eh? He's not in the hospital anymore... you do know that… right?”
Katsuki’s eyebrows shot up “He’s back home?? Already?? He barely survived a long ass fall, and they’re just letting him go like that? Does that mean the injuries aren’t as bad as I expected?” He could feel a sense of relief wash over him- hopefully Inko was doing okay taking care of him back at their house, this whole situation must be hard as hell on her.
His mom stared at him with a bewildered and sympathetic expression. "Jeez... the doctors weren't kidding when they said you hit your head pretty hard..." she mumbled under her breath before continuing. "Katsuki, your father and I have been thinking... it may be best if you- well- talked to someone about this situation"
Katsuki huffed, walking to the doorway to slip his shoes on "nope. Not happening"
"Oh come on Brat, we're trying to help you out here-"
"I don't need help." Katsuki spat as he turned to face his mom "what happened was- it was shitty as hell alright; but I'm fine." He hissed, before opening the door and slamming it behind him
He wandered down the pavement, inhaling the crisp morning air. He didn’t really know where he was going- he just needed to get out of there. In truth, he knew why he was so angry- whenever he felt any emotion that he didn’t understand or like, he immediately covered it up with anger. At that moment, he felt confused as hell- and still does. He understood that hearing your son’s childhood best friend had attempted to kill himself would leave you shaken up, but she seemed utterly distraught.
What’s more, she was acting like he was the one going insane- insane for what? Wanting to see Izuku? Give him a break. He knows he hasn’t exactly been… buddy-buddy with Izuku these past few years, but he still cares about him…
Kicking a loose stone that lay in the middle of the pathway, he huffed out a breath of air, watching his breath fog up in the cold. Just as he was stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, he thought about walking to Izuku’s apartment block, but discarded the thought quickly. While it would probably be the right thing to do, he didn’t particularly feel like seeing Inko at the moment- what if Izuku had told her what he’d been doing to him all these years and she doesn't let him in? It would serve him right, but still. He just wanted to see Izuku.
He sat on a nearby bench, pulling out his phone and scrolling to Izuku’s contact number. He had gotten it when Katsuki reluctantly went with his family to Izuku’ house to have dinner with the Midoriya family. Izuku had wanted to go outside while it was dark, and Inko, being the worried parent she was, said he could only if Katsuki went with her and we exchanged phone numbers.
The contact number was so far down, and when he finally found it, the name read: “Incompetent, useless Deku”. He frowned, clicking on the immature name and changing it to simply “Izuku”. Then, he just as he went to hit the call button- when he suddenly paused. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Just 2 days ago, he would’ve thrown up at the idea of Katsuki calling Izuku just to.. hang out.
Whatever. That was then, and this was now. He rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and pressed call.
Ring Ring!
Ring Ring!
Ring Ring!
He held the phone up to his ear, preparing to talk.
Ring Ring!
Ring Ring!
The hell was taking him so long?
Ring Ri-
Sorry, the person you are trying to reach is currently unavailab-
He tapped the decline button, huffing as he stood up. I guess he would have to face the wrath of Inko afterall…
“Kacchan!! Kacchan wait up!!” A distant voice suddenly called out, making Katsuki turn around in confusion. Was that…?
Sure enough, the very boy that didn’t pick up just earlier was currently running towards him at top speed, and Katsuki couldn’t help but smirk. He looked so damn cute stupid when he was in a hurry (for whatever reason). In fact- he was moving so fast, he didn’t spot the uneven crack in the concrete that was much higher than the others, and before he could warn him, Izuku practically flew in the air as he tripped.
Katsuki, thinking fast, immediately dropped his phone and took a step forward, right as Izuku fell into Katsuki’s arms- Katsuki blinked a few times down at the other boy- whose eyes were squeezed shut. Katsuki felt a small blush creep across his face, before immediately pushing Izuku off of him, but still holding his shoulder for support. Nope. No. Not in a million years would Katsuki ever… whatever.
“Jeez, you miss me that much?” He crossed his arms and tried to look pissed off, but clearly failed. Izuku went red, scratching the back of his neck.
“Ah! Sorry Kacchan!! I didn’t mean to crash into you… sorry…” he nervously twiddled with his thumbs as Katsuki looked at him with an amused expression.
“I know I know… I’m just messing with you.” He slightly smirked, pushing Izuku lightly- which he quickly regretted considering the boy almost lost his balance. “Shit- why are you out here? You shouldn't even be at home! You should be in the hospital for god’s sake, you literally almost died!” He rambled in frustration, glaring at Izuku like it was his own fault.
Izuku gave him a sheepish expression, with a trace of disappointment hiding in it. “They said the injuries weren’t all that bad, actually. Like I said- the fall wasn’t even that bad considering I fell a certain… ‘lucky’ way- so they discharged me.” He shrugged, like it was the most believable thing in the world.
But it wasn’t to Katsuki. It wasn’t, because he saw how still his body was. It wasn’t, because of the amount of blood that leaked from his head. It wasn’t, because he saw those eyes and how dead they looked- those fucking eyes…
“Um… Kacchan? Are you okay?” Izuku’s meek voice snapped him out of his thoughts as Katsuki blinked thoughtlessly at him. Like he said- life had given Izuku a second chance at living, and Katsuki was gonna make sure that he’d enjoy it.
“You wanna get ice cream?” He heard himself blurt out. He was about to take it back, when the most beautiful smile appeared across Izuku’s face, reaching his eyes and pretty much lighting up the world around them- and Katsuki couldn’t look away, it felt like he was in a trance.
“Yeah!! That sounds great, Kacchan! Lead the way!” He said, trailing behind Katsuki as they began walking. If being kind meant he could hear Izuku’s voice filled with that much joy, maybe being kind was worth it.
Katsuki raised an eyebrow “the hell? What are you, five? Walk next to me, not behind me dumbass!”
Well, as kind as he could manage to be- he was trying, at least.
_____
“Two ice creams.” Katsuki said in a bored voice to the man behind the counter. He felt Izuku nudge his side. “Please.” He reluctantly added through gritted teeth; to which Izuku sent him an approving nod.
The man hummed contently “sure kiddo! And what flavour do ya want for those two?”
Katsuki turned to Izuku. “you still like mint choc chip, nerd?”
“Kacchan! You remember!” Izuku’s eyes practically shone, and Katsuki had to hide the blush that was quickly creeping up his neck.
“SHUT THE HELL UP! NO I DON’T!” he screamed back, before sighing and turning back to the worker. The man had a very mixed expression on his face, filled with concern, bewilderment, and amusement all at once. Katsuki didn’t blame the guy- mint choc chip was disgusting.
“Sorry about him- orange and mint choc chip flavour, thanks.” He grumbed half heartedly.
The worker stared at him for a few seconds with the same expression, simply blinking before turning to the selections of ice creams and beginning to scrape the orange flavour. In the corner of his eye, Katsuki saw Izuku’s eyes go wide and mouth go slightly agape like he just remembered something.
“Uh Kacchan? On s-second thought, I’m actually not that hungry… sorry…” Izuku timidly whispered into his ear, and Katsuki shot him a glare.
“Jeez, eating ain’t gonna hurt you- but fine.. if you really don’t wanna.” He grumbled, turning to the man and ignoring the worried whispers from the people behind him. “My friend changed his mind- no mint choc chip after all.”
The man, who was mid scoop, looking over to where Izuku was standing and looked even more perplexed, before dropping the icecream that was in the scooper back into the tub and heading to the counter.
“Um… that’s ¥700 please…” the man timidly said, taking the money from Katsuki. Katsuki took the ice cream from the strange-behaving guy and pushed past the line of people behind him, who were also for some reason sending him weird looks.
“Christ, people are so judgemental nowadays. God forbid someone wants to change their mind.” He rolled his eyes, taking a seat on a park bench as Izuku sat down next to him- who seemed to be suppressing a smile. “The hell’s got you all giddy.” Katsuki gruffly asked.
Izuku turned to stare at him with shiny eyes, laced with unshed tears.
“Kacchan called me his friend.”
Katsuki blinked a couple times, staring at the overly happy nerd. Did he really wanna be friends with Katsuki that bad? After everything he had done to him? Feeling uncomfortable (though more with himself instead of with Izuku), Katsuki broke his gaze and stared at the park in front of them.
“You shouldn’t be happy about that. I was a dick to you our whole lives. Only a psychopath would continue to bully you after seeing how bad it really was for you.”
Izuku stared wistfully into the scenery in front of them, swinging his legs back and forth. “Maybe you’re right. But even still, as much as a dick you were to me, you’re showing me that you really do care, even if you don’t mean to. And before this happened, my only true wish was to be… friends with you again- as pathetic as that sounds.” He gave a small, empty laugh, and looked down. “I feel alive with you Kacchan. You make me alive.” He said, turning to Katsuki. The way he had put that so bluntly and literally sent a shiver down Katsuki’s side- but like usual, he chose to ignore it.
The words sorry were about to escape from his mouth yet again, but he couldn’t find himself to do it. Oh well- it’s not like today would be the only day he could apologise.
Unsure of how to reply to Izuku’s somewhat vague reply, the two simply sat in a comfortable silence, watching the city slowly wake up despite it being 10am. He peered at Izuku from the corner of his eye, watching amused as the boy kicked his feet back and forth, scribbling in a small notebook he had somehow managed to fit in his pocket-
Shit. That’s right. Katsuki had stupidly burnt up his notebook the other day- that would be the next thing he’d do, buy him a new notebook. He had a hell of a long way to go before redeeming himself- if he ever could.
___
The two were ambling down a sidewalk, with seemingly no actual direction of where he was going. Katsuki felt the cold nipping at his nose as he stole a quick glance at Izuku next to him- who was surprisingly already looking at him with a soft smile on his face.
Katsuki, feeling flustered, immediately looked away and rolled his eyes grumpily. “God do y’ have to stare at me with those big creepy eyes of yours?”
Izuku immediately frowned and turned away, twiddling with his thumbs. “Ah… sorry Kacchan. I didn’t realise it bothered you… I wouldn’t’ve done it if I knew… I mean I really should’ve known-“
Katsuki cut his rambling off quickly. “Oh shut it. I didn’t… I didn’t fuckin’ mean it like that, alright? Your eyes are… fine or whatever. Okay??” He defensively argued, his ears beginning to burn despite the temperature. Izuku and his stupid ability to make Katsuki flustered… urgh.
The nerd went silent next to him, and when Katsuki stole another quick glance at the boy he saw a small smile had made its way onto his face.
Cute.
The pair continued to walk down the sidewalk as thoughts swirled around in Katsuki’s head- if you told him a few days ago that he was now all buddy-buddy with Izuku Midoriya, he probably would’ve blown you up and screamed curses at you. And as ridiculous as it was, he found himself actually… enjoying his company. The group of boys he hung around usually at school weren’t even his friends. Katsuki wasn’t stupid- he knew the only reason the losers were hanging around him was because he had a fuckin’ awesome quirk- but with Izuku, he didn’t need to worry about that. He tried to convince himself that he was only hanging out with him out of pity, but even then the words didn’t feel right on his tongue.
Izuku was the only person who truly got him- who could see right through him. And that’s what Katsuki had been afraid of this entire time.
“Well, this is my stop. Thanks for hanging out with me Kacchan- even if you didn’t want to… I still appreciate it!” Izuku smiled, turning to head to the door of his house they were now apparently standing in front of.
“The hell? I don’t do shit I don’t want to- you should know that of all people.” Katsuki grumbled, avoiding Izuku’s eyes. Izuku stood still in front of him for a few seconds, not saying anything before eventually opening his mouth.
“Thank you, Kacchan.” And with that, he turned on his heels.
Katsuki simply stood there, watching as the green haired boy walked down pathway to the sliding doors of the apartment block, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in his chest that told him he wanted to see him again.
____
It had been two days since Izuku had tried to attempt, and Katsuki was ashamed to admit that not only was Izuku his first thought when he woke up, but he was also the starring character in his… strange dream.
He rubbed his eyes sleepily as memories of last night's dream flooded his brain. Katsuki trying to call out for Izuku, but being ignored. Him trying to reach for Izuku, but his hand passing through his body. Him peering over a ledge of a roof at a boy who he assumed was Izuku (although couldn’t tell) laying dead on the pathway.
He felt a shiver go down his spine. It was just his mind messing with him, so why did it feel so… real?
Whatever. It was just a stupid nightmare. He pulled the duvet off of his legs as his feet hit the plush carpet, dragging himself sluggishly down stairs. Thank god it was Saturday- as stupid as it was, he didn’t know if he could handle being at school and facing the same spot he found Izuku. He walked to the kitchen and read a yellow sticky note that was pasted on the fridge.
“Dad’s at work, and I’m out doing something. Call me if you need something.”
He frowned. ‘Doing something’ huh. Way to be vague.
Shrugging his shoulders, he opened the door and squinted, trying to find something- anything. His stomach rumbled; but as he kept looking, he found he didn’t actually have much of an appetite.
Right before he was about to slam the fridge door, he spotted a plate of takoyaki on one of the shelves, and he decided to take it- not for himself, but for Izuku- he always liked this shit. Taking the food and placing it in a small paper bag, he then searched his pocket for his phone- and almost out of instinct he clicked on Izuku’s contact and found himself typing.
Me:
Meet me at the park at 10.
He was about to pocket his phone, when he felt it buzz in his hand- frowning he read the message.
Izuku:
Eh?? Why??
Me:
Either do it or don’t.
With that, he shoved his phone in his pocket, heading back up the stairs to go shower- he didn’t know what he was going to do with the Nerd today, but all he knew was that he missed him he was bored as shit.
___
“Oi. Over here.”
Izuku whipped around, and his face immediately lit up as he made his way over to Katsuki. “Kacchan!! Good morning!”
Katsuki rolled his eyes, despite the small smile on his face. “Morning Nerd.” He mumbled, handing him 3 skewers with Takoyaki on it. Izuku’s eyes went wide, and he practically started drooling as Katsuki impatiently waved it in his face. “Here. I saw it in the fridge and thought you’d like this shit.” He dramatically announced, looking to the side grumpily.
Izuku’s expression faltered, and a sad look washed across his face for a split expression before he began to smile again. “Ah! Sorry Kacchan, I really appreciate it, but I just ate back at home…! You can have it though!” He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck while Katsuki glared at him suspiciously.
“Tch. Fine. I don’t care...”
Izuku began walking beside Katsuki (despite hesitating at first) as Katsuki trudged down the pathway, staring at the fluffy clouds and chomping on the takoyaki.
“Uh Kacchan? Where are we going?” Izuku blinked, curiosity spread across his face.
Katsuki grinned, thumbing the cash that was secretly hidden inside his pocket. “There’s something called patience, y’know- you should learn it.”
“Aw c’monnn not even a hint??”
“I said be patient, dipshit- but fine. It takes 6 minutes to walk here… and I bet I can finish this food in 4.” He grinned, crossing his arms triumphantly.
Izuku snickered next to them as they began walking, “I doubt that, Kacchan.” Katsuki snapped his head to glare at him.
“Hah?? You wanna bet? Fine! can do it in 2 minutes then! Start a timer!” He boasted, already starting to eat it.
“Stop cheating Kacchan! Start when the timer starts!”
“Yeah yeah, whatever.”
____
“1 minute and 52 seconds- HAH! Beat that, Deku!” He sneered, wiping his mouth and dumping the skewers into a nearby trash can. Izuku burst into a fit of giggles next to him, clutching his stomach.
“I’m not surprised, Kacchan’s pretty amazing…” he dreamily muttered, practically skipping down the sidewalk. People were giving Katsuki strange looks, but he didn’t care- because he was actually having fun- with Izuku of all people.
Katsuki felt his ears go red at Izuku’s remark, and shot him a glare before turning away. “Damn right” he mumbled, smiling slightly to himself.
It was then that Katsuki turned the corner, and Izuku seemed to realise where they were headed. “Kacchan! You- are we going to the Japanese hero museum??” He excitedly turned to him, tugging at his sleeve. Their moms used to take them here when they were younger, and Katsuki always remembered how excited Izuku got at the amount of statues there were. Thankfully, the museum wouldn’t be as crowded considering they were pretty early.
“Hell yeah. Now quit standing in place and get a move on” he half heartedly scolded, walking towards the huge doors.
The moment they entered the building, Izuku’s nerd eyes went huge, and he excitedly jumped from one plaque to plaque while furiously scribbling in his notebook. Katsuki found himself softly smiling, simply due to Izuku’s pure excitement. Shoot- his stomach was doing flips- the hell??
Katsuki was reading up about how All Might had once changed the weather with simply a punch of his fist, when something caught his eye behind the statue. There was a small gift shop filled with pricey hero merchandise- specifically all might merchandise.
Katsuki glanced over at Izuku, who was busy intensely sketching an all might statue, and he slipped carefully away into the gift shop, glancing around at the shelves- this may as well have been a shrine, considering the amount of shit that was in here- perfect for Izuku.
Just as he was about to move on to the next shelf, he spotted an all might themed notebook on display that was basically calling his name. He picked it up, feeling the smooth All Might graphic on the front cover- this was perfect- Izuku would love this.
Walking over to the counter with the book in his grasp, there was an elderly woman at the counter who gave him a sweet smile as he handed her the book to scan.
“An All Might fan, are you?” Her croaky voice asked, slowly moving to pick up the book.
Katsuki shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts “yeah, but this is for someone else. The nerd’s a huge All Might fan.” He said, a hint of a grin on his face.
The old lady looked over at him wistfully, nefore turning the book over to scan it.
Beep!
“You must be a lovely friend then.” She hummed contendedly. Katsuki frowned, and played with loose lint inside his pockets
“Tch.” He huffed, sparing a glance out the window at the bustling city life. “I’m tryna to be.”
The lady handed him back the notebook, meeting his gaze “well young man, you seem to be going in the right direction.”
____
Katsuki hummed under his breath, holding the book in his grasp. He had refused a bag, considering he had just wanted to give it to Izuku right now- but the boy in question was nowhere to be found. Digging in his back pocket for his phone, he pulled up Izuku’s contact name and tried once again to call him- but it went straight to voicemail. He really needed to get better at picking up his phone.
So, Katsuki dragged his feet through the big hallways which echoed with each step he took, on a frustrating mission to find Izuku. As he was searching for the Nerd, he imagined in his head what Izuku’s reaction would be, and he stupidly grinned to himself. With a spring in his step, after he had checked each room that he assumed Izuku would be in only to find nothing, he ultimately decided he was probably in the bathroom.
The question was- where the hell were the bathrooms. He had only been in this museum once before when he and Izuku were younger, but he managed to remember one set of bathrooms being on the 1st floor, and the other on the 4th floor, and considering he was on the 3rd floor, he decided to check the one that was closest.
Dragging his feet up the next flight of stairs, his feet were screaming at him for not taking the elevator. “Curse… you… Izuku… for making… me… climb… these stairs…” he huffed, holding onto the handrail- it’s not like he was unfit or anything, he worked out a bunch…
Finally reaching the top, he breathed a sigh of relief before glancing around the floor; there was very few people, some gathered near a sort of exhibition while others were scattered, taking photos of paintings on the wall. He looked around some more- and practically gasped at what he saw.
Izuku was sitting on top of the barricaded ledge that was put there to stop people from falling to the first floor, whistling and swinging his legs- though what was even more eerie was that no one around him told him off- or even looked at him.
“H-hey! The hell do you think you’re doing?? Get the fuck down right now!!” He yelled, grabbing Izuku’s wrists as people turned to stare at him. Oh so now they chose to look?? Not when a boy was a whisker away from death- they chose to look now?? Ridiculous.
“Oh! H-hey Kacchan! I wasn’t- I wasn’t gonna..” Izuku’s voice trembled, a smile that anyone could tell was fake on his face.
“I don’t give a shit what you were trying to do- you could’ve fallen and died, for god’s sake. Don’t scare me like that again…” he felt himself release a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Izuku turned around and jumped off the ledge, looking around at the groups of people who looked either amused or concerned.
“Sorry Kacchan.. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s not like I was gonna die or anything though…” he mumbled, looking at the ground.
“The fuck are you on about?? Stop speaking in cryptics- and it’s fine. I’m not mad at you, but I’ll be real pissed if you try to do something dumb like that again.” He berated him, before a feeling of guilt gnawed at his stomach. “Look. I got you a present cuz of what happened- cuz of what I did to your old book.” He sighed, handing him the book that was still in his grasp.
Immediately a sparkle showed up in Izuku’s eyes, and he cautiously reached for the book. “You got this- f-for me??” He trembled, tears forming in his eyes.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks burn. “Yeah. Much better than that tiny ass book you carry around, amiright.” Katsuki grinned.
“Kacchan… I don’t even know what to say…” Izuku muttered, a wobbly smile appearing on his face.
“Oi. Don’t forget the shit I’ve done to you- if anything, this is the bare minimum- alright?”
Izuku moved his sleeve from his eyes, wiping the tears that leaked from them. “O-okay Kacchan… thank you…”
“Tch.”
____
Shortly afterwards, Izuku had decided to go home- something about his mom not wanting him out for too long. Fair enough- he didn’t even want to know how she’d react if he found out all this time he was hanging out with Katsuki of everyone- although he wasn’t too sure if Inko even knew the bullying Katsuki had put him through.
Later that night, Katsuki had been sitting on the edge of his bed lifting dumbbells when a soft knock came from his door.
“Come in” he boredly yelled out, placing the dumbbells down on the floor. His mom entered the room cautiously, closing it softly behind her.
“Katsuki? Can we talk for a second?” She quietly asked, and Katsuki raised his eyebrow and nodded.
She made her way to his bed and sat down, keeping a small distance between them. “Katsuki, you know your father and I love you very much.”
Oh brother. So it was this kind of conversation then. He would’ve groaned loudly for emphasis if it weren't for the almost empty look on his moms face that made him pause.
“Yeah yeah.” He grumbled, looking at the carpet.
She took a deep breath “so, that’s why we believe it’s best if you… talk to someone.” She nervously added- this whole thing was freaking Katsuki out- not so much the actual conversation, but how unlike it was of his mom to act like this.
“The hell do you mean ‘talk to someone’, you’re actin’ like I’m insane or something.” He let out an empty laugh, before meeting his mothers deadpanned expression.
“I mean a professional Katsuki. This isn’t normal- this whole… Izuku situation. I get why you’re acting like this and it’s understandable why you’re coping this way- but you need help.” She insisted, growing stern.
Katsuki almost flinched at the word help. The fuck?! Why was she acting like he escaped a mental asylum?? Where was all this coming from??? “I need help?? Izuku’s fucking fine, okay? Maybe not mentally, but he’s fucking alive. And shit, I know it’s gotta be jarring hearing that a kid tried to kill himself, but it’a not like he’a actually fuckin’ dead, so quit acting like he is!” Katsuki yelled, surprised at how much of a bite there was to his voice.
“This is what I’m talking about!! Now I don’t know if this is some sick joke, but you need to cut it out! You’re worrying us sick!!” His mom yelled back at him, standing up from the bed with her hands on her hips.
Katsuki had had enough. His mom was fucking mental for god knows what, his dad was for aome reason suddenly depressed- he needed some air. Shoving past her, he slammed his door and ran downstairs, slipping on his shoes. He heard his mom’s voice call out to him, with a tone of desperation in it as he darted out the door into the freezing cold of the night.
The air nipped at his skin as he ran down the empty street with no certain direction in mind- he just needed to get away. Eventually, he reached the middle of town, rubbing at his bare arms, wishing he could’ve had time to grab a hoodie.
He walked down the road where his school was, and breathed out a puff of air, listening to the sound of crickets and the occasional distant honking of car-
But there was another sound.
He could barely hear it- but it was there. The rattling of a metal ladder and desperate huffs coming from what seemed to be the school. Frowning, Katsuki turned foot to head over to the sound, which was becoming louder and louder as he grew closer. Eventually, the noise stopped, and was then replaced with a familiar shadow of a boy standing on top of the roof of the school building, moving closer to the edge.
It wasn’t just any boy though.
“Oh shit!” Katsuki whisper-shouted under his breath, and before he could think, his body moved on its own. Orange explosions crackled from his palms as he shot himself upwards towards the roof, huffing as he hit the ground.
Sure enough, there he was. Standing near the edge as the wind whipped his hair. He had his back turned to Katsuki, not even bothering to turn around at the sound of Katsuki’s crackling explosions. He felt his heart drop to his feet, and a feeling of despair crashed over him.
“I-Izuku- what are you-“
“The air feels so good Kacchan- not as good as it felt when I was falling though.” Izuku turned to look at him, the moonlight illuminating the small, soft smile on his face. Katsuki couldn’t speak- he couldn’t move. He tried to take a step forward, but his feet were glued at the soles. He tried to speak, but all that came from his mouth were croaks and whispers.
“I don’t really understand life, y’know?” Izuku went on. “Some people were born lucky- like you, whereas others were born unlucky- born a ‘deku’, like me. And the only way those “deku’s” can truly be at peace is by death- but you guys try to take that away from us, leaving us to suffer. Why? Why is that?” Izuku contemplated, hand on his chin like he was wondering some huge, philosophical question.
“Izuku-“
Izuku took a small step towards Katsuki. “If you actually care about me Kacchan, then it’s time to let me go.”
Katsuki eyes desperately darted across Izuku’s face, unsure of what to do. He was scared that if he stood in place, Izuku would jump, but if he did move forwards, Izuku would also move backwards towards the edge.
“Fuck… Izuku I’m not- I’m not doing that, I’m not letting go of you a second time okay??” Katsuki pleaded, taking a step forward; but it was just as he feared, when Izuku took a step back.
Katsuki took a deep breath, wiping his sleeve across the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. “Starting tomorrow, I’ll smile at strangers as they pass. Starting tomorrow, I’ll stop anyone that tries to hurt you. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be better- because anything’s worth it if it’s for you. Izuku, I’m sorry for everything. I know words can’t mend actions, but I promise- from here on out I’ll do any and everything to make it up to you. Izuku- even when I ‘hated’ you, I still cared about you. I… I cared about you a lot more than a friend should- even if we weren’t friends. I know it’s selfish and horrible, and I don’t expect you to feel the same at all- I just really needed to tell you that I- I.” Katsuki clutched at his hair, refusing to meet Izuku’s eyes.
“Fuck. Look- what I’m trying to say here is… I love y-“
“You’re too late Kacchan.”
Katsuki blinked at the ground in confusion- did- did he mishear him or something? Moving his hands from his face, he turned to face Izuku- who looked tired and deadpanned.
“H-huh?” He managed to get out.
“I said, ‘you’re too late.’ What’s done is done.”
Katsuki blinked, furrowing his eyebrows. “What- Izuku, what are you talking about-“
“You know what I’m talking about- I know you do. Despite what you’ve told yourself, you know it’s all lies. All bullshit.”
Katsuki flinched at hearing Izuku swear, before taking a step closer- which in return made the boy take a step back.
“No. N-no Izuku you- you don’t know what you’re saying.. just step away from the edge-“
“I’m dead, Kacchan.”
Katsuki blinked at Izuku(?) feeling his breathing start to quicken. For a split second, I̵z̸u̶k̷u̶ seemed to disappear- almost glitch from his vision for a split second, before reverting back to normal.
Katsuki thought back to all those times he spent with him after he had attempted, and suddenly everything began to make sense. His mom acting like he was insane, Izuku refusing to eat anything because an imagination couldn’t eat a real thing, strangers giving weird looks whenever he talked to Izuku like he was some ghost- because he was. He had always been dead.
Just not in Katsuki’s imagination.
The (apparently imaginary) Izuku, sighed, stepping forward towards Katsuki. He cupped Katsuki’s cheeks, and gazed at the boy with a loving, but somber look. “I guess it doesn’t really matter what I do, considering you’ve finally seemed to figure it out- but regardless, I’m going to do it anyway, considering it’ll make you- or me? Feel better.”
With that, he gently brought Katsuki’s lips to his own, gently kissing Katsuki- but the only thing Katsuki could taste was the saltiness of his own tears.
Í̸̙̘̫̬̝̮̜̥̞̓̀̓̏z̷̧̢͕̳̮̪̥̻̬̠̖̤̃̀̀͂͐̓̊̌̀̋̚͝ŭ̷̜͖̣͍̙͚̫͉̺͛̆̀͠͠k̶̨̧̛͍̭͇͍͚̫̹̙̼̥̦̱̈̔̄̎͝ư̷͈̇̑͑̅̀̽̐̒̈́̈́̈́͘̕? pulled away, before slowly walking towards the edge. Before Katsuki could process what was happening, the boy had taken a step forward, and leapt off the edge.
“No…” Katsuki weakly whispered. And despite knowing the truth, despite knowing he had imagined it all, he still walked forward to see if he was okay.
But he was gone. There wasn’t even a body laying on the pavement.
He breathed in a breath of air, savouring the feeling before exhaling. It was silent now. No one mumbling in his ear, no one ranting about All Might, no one complimenting him about how “amazing” he was- just dead silence. Katsuki turned to look down at the pavement. So this was it huh. Izuku was dead. Izuku had always been dead. Katsuki was supposed to… he… he needed to be with Izuku. He needed Izuku.
And with that, he took a step toward the edge.