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Published:
2026-03-23
Updated:
2026-08-14
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2/7
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Twisted McDonalds

Summary:

A new fast food restaurant just opened on Sage Island. The problem? They aren’t receiving the attention they need to gather employees, let alone keep their business running. Lucky for them, Night Raven College (unwillingly) lends a hand, and Crowley picks out only the best to work a week at McDonald’s.

Notes:

First of all, thank you to awildsheepchase for helping me come up with ideas for this fic and beta reading it for me! They really helped support this fic in its production, and I’m deeply grateful.

Secondly, thank you reader for taking the time to look into this story. I’m hoping it can make you smile to some extent. Please enjoy!

Chapter 1: Teenage Failures

Chapter Text

 

 Thin strips of sun shed light peeked through the rich velvet curtains, concealing the school’s outer perimeters. All that was left for them was here—this office, and soon they’d have to face their fate. The five college students stood anxiously, waiting for the lecture their headmage would surely dish out to each and everyone of them.

 Slowly, he rose up from his seat, letting out a deep sigh before dipping his head towards the youth.

 “Now, I’m sure the five of you are aware why I’ve gathered you all here today?” His eyes lingered on each of their expressions while staring sharply into the depths of their souls. It felt as a blade would: dangerous, and genuinely intimidating. Expulsion wasn’t out of question when looks like that were being shared, or more accurately, forced on them all. Finally, eye contact broke and the middle aged man screamed shrilly.

 “How in the great seven did you all get kicked out of McDonalds?!”

 “Oh come on! Cut us some slack, headmage.” Ace stood before Crowley, tall and fiery as his brows furrowed. His arms overlapped, folding while puffing his chest forward. Ace continued to speak with a grating tone. “It was stupid. I don’t get why we had to work some fast food job, anyway. Isn’t college enough?!” 

 A few steps were taken, each creating a subtle ‘thump’ beneath the card soldier until he was fuming above Crowley’s desk. Glaring up at him, it was almost as if the young boy thought he was in a higher position of authority. Disrespect and aggression oozed from his body language, and was all presented passively through his sour tone.

 “Young Trappola, have you no manners?” Crowley’s eyes crinkled shut, flickering. “Of course there’s a good reason for you all to work such a job. Why, I even went through the trouble of explaining it the week before you worked it!”

 


 

 It was a quiet day. The black bricked building stood sturdy. Its murky purple rooftops reached for the sky with the point of a pin needle, adding to the looming darkness the school produced. A few second years roamed the courtyard, scrolling their phones for something to do while wandering along the patches of well watered grass. Dew drops longing for the ground each received their wish, falling from the trimming along the college doors into the puddles below. Beyond the entrance, deep in the school, chaos ensued.

 The auditorium was jam packed, and whispers endlessly echoed off the prickling clay walls. It was a room of conversation, not meeting, and because of that the adolescents had no idea that their headmage stood waiting impatiently in the centre of the down turned flooring.

 “What could the meaning of this be? I was in the middle of a presentation.” A wrinkle contrasted the model’s perfect skin, and a slick shimmer reflected off of his highlighter. He visibly cringed when looking around at the unorganized teenagers, and moreover, catching one staining their cotton white button up with some sort of electric blue substance so carelessly. That spilt drink held his attention, even if he was no longer looking its way. Swiftly from his pocket, he retrieved his folding mirror, just to evaluate if anything seemed imperfect.

 “Surely it will be quick! We were called under such short notice, after all! You shouldn’t stress, Roí du Poison.” The light feather attached to Rook’s hat flopped with rhythm as he reassured his house warden. Though still Vil seemed upset, his shoulders relaxed, which triggered a cheerful hum in the hunter’s throat.

 “I suppose you are right. This is unbecoming.” The travel sized mirror folded shut with an audible ‘click’ only the two would hear in such a busied setting. It was becoming worrisome how long it’d take to get the assembly started. “The headmage isn’t even here. How unprofessional”

“Pardon?! I am right—”

“Oui, tis quite the shame!” 

“Everyone—we can start now—“

“Oh? Is that Monsieur Pommette? What has you looking so…oh my, forgive me. What’s the word?”

“Everyone—“

“Rook, it’s pronounced ‘distraught’. Goodness, you are banned from coming to my late night photo shoots if this is the consequence. Once we are back in the dorms, please rest. Now, Epel, what has you so gloomy?”

“Ugh, we were gonna play flyer derby in flight as a warm up! Ahm the only one missin’ out!” Distraught was an understatement for the first year, though the same could be said for Crowley. Maybe fed up was a better term for him, considering he has had just about enough with the unaware, inconsiderate boys surrounding him. Yes, he has had enough.

 “Everyone, quiet yourselves!” His voice, now loud and cracking, brought the crowd to a halt. The silence that followed was deafening. Each and everyone of them wanted to know why they were here, and further, why they were even chosen to be here.

 “Thank you all for attending this meeting. You may be wondering why it is you, however, who I called to attend.” Crowley opened his arms, gesturing from the podium to the many hand picked candidates. “Well, there’s more information I’ll need to share before you get an explanation.”

 The crow masked man took a turn, stepping down and strutting around the front of the room as he rambled.

 “There happens to be a new establishment opening up shortly, about the beginning of next week. Their issue is they’re yet to have enough employees to run the place.” Shaking his head, the podium creaked as he pushed the weight of his hand against it. He fisted his other and brought it forth. He’d almost look like an inspiring teacher from a high school musical if he was actually inspiring.

 “It’s truly heartbreaking! A kind soul such as myself couldn’t help but offer the support of our graciously compassionate community. So—“ The air grew dense, and heads swung to each other. Certain students, like a special red head with a heart drawn over his eye, did not want this to end the way it seemed it would. That being, extra work on top of their own. “How would you all like to work at McDonald’s?”

 Once more voices broke out, and again it was difficult to calm, but before long the main questions repeating in the mess of stimuli started to become clear.

 “Headmage, do you really think we can just work a job like that without pay forever? Who would want that?” Ace slouched back, but rushed to adjust himself when his house warden looked his way in a very intentionally scolding manner. Instead, he was the one who continued questioning for Ace.

 “As blunt as that is to ask, Ace does have a point. Many of us have responsibilities we need to tend to, and working while studying, finishing homework and following structured schedules would be difficult for some, including myself.”

 Crowley waved his hand, letting out a chuckle. “Fear not, Rosehearts, I said the reasoning for this is because they’re having a hard time starting out. I only want you all to work one of five days, and you’ll never have to again.”

 Maybe it was magic, or maybe Crowley’s words were truly enough to bring reassurance in the auditorium. Gradually, everyone stopped complaining to their peers, and considered what the headmage stated. Even Riddle, usually rule abiding, seemed he was considering a decision more then following an order.

 “I suppose that works. Thank you for your consideration.” Riddle sat back, steering one last look to the moping boy beside him. Under his breath he let out the word “behave…” but that was only for Ace to hear.

 “Now, I expect you all to act accordingly. This is an opportunity to show both the talent of Night Raven College and bring attention to the establishment so people will apply! We do want to spread our kindness among the community of sage island! You could even mention you attend Night Raven College while working!” If no one picked it up before, now at least his intentions were out in the open. Oblivious to their muttering, he boomed. “You may all be dismissed!”

 Like that the columns poured, and each student shoved against each other to make it to extra curricular’s in time. Epel, petite with hair of lilac wool, fell back against an empty seat after being unknowingly shoved by a taller, unkept student with a blue stain on his button up. Epel’s sky blessed eyes hooked onto the tall boy, and out shot curses and southern slang. His arms were raised and flailing whilst he gangled. Vil grabbed onto the back of his uniform with the face of a tired mother, and dragged the small teen off, again—as usual. Yes, obviously Crowley picked the right bunch of students for this job. There’s no way anything could go wrong.

 



 
“I don’t know what you expected from us. I can’t control how fun a job is, or if customers will want to take my place!” Papers flew—scattered through the air when Ace slammed his palms into the headmage’s desk a bit too hard. Each sheet swayed, and landed across the wooden floors. All the red head could muster was an awkward downturned smile to Crowley’s displeased look.

 “Alright then.” A pause was taken to inhale and let the white noise in the office settle viciously. “Well, I have time to spare.” Ace backed up a bit at Crowley’s words, but held a firm stance. “I’d like each and everyone of you to tell me how it is you got kicked out of this fast food restaurant. Trappola, you start.”

 “Me?!” Shocked, the boy’s jaw dropped. A raging colour tinged his cheeks. This seemed unfair, incredibly unfair. Within his second long internal fit, a pout was created to tie every uncomfortable feeling his cruel headmage invoked on him together, leaving the card soldier waiting either for the punchline of this joke to be given or to be forced to tell a tale on how horribly he failed at his first customer service job.

 The old chair screeched deeply when Crowley sat and pushed himself back to his desk. Fingers interlaced with each other while his mask was illuminated in the translucent yellow his eyes gave off.

 “Yes, you. If you’re so confident you are not in the wrong, tell us more about how not wrong you are.” Everyone turned, and attention was focused on the two’s butting heads. They all waited for Ace to start explaining, almost curious more than the grumbling persons they most commonly were. Actually, one smiled and gave him two thumbs upward, something a student of Night Raven College would never do.

“Can I like, say no or..?”

 “No!” Everyone could practically see the smoke coming from the headmage’s ears, and they silently begged for Ace to finally confess. If not for his own fear, he would’ve let everyone take extra punishment. Unfortunately for him, however, he does have his own fear. Sure, he wanted to hold his own, but everyone in this office thought the same thing. The headmage may suck, but he was also incredibly intimidating. There was no way out of this fiasco, so they’d all pay the punishment. That started with Ace.

 “Fine! If you want to know so bad, I’ll tell you.” With a final sigh, he began to speak.