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Yunho's birthday party was in full swing, to the rhythm of everyone's laughter. It wasn't anything incredibly sophisticated, but it was everything Yunho loved: an evening with his members at the puppydorm, knowing that no schedule awaited them the next day.
The living room had been decorated for the occasion, with banners, confetti, and balloons. And there was that huge picture of Yunho plastered on the back wall, below the main banner that said "Happy Birthday". When the man of the hour asked if it was really necessary, Wooyoung laughed like a hyena and replied:
"It's for Yeosang, so he doesn't get the wrong idea who we're wishing a happy birthday to!"
Suddenly, it became more acceptable. If it could make the singer's life easier, then Yunho could accept anything. With a gentle, amused smile on his lips, he simply said softly that it was a good idea. Wooyoung hadn't said anything, he had just sighed as if he saw further proof concerning something that hadn't been said but that he already knew.
Yunho was talking with Mingi, reminiscing about cherished memories of their long friendship. The two had known each other since high school, so there were plenty of funny anecdotes to dust off. Around them, the boys were partying. San and Wooyoung were dancing with more energy than at their own concert, while Jongho and Yeosang chatted, drinks in hand. And Yunho's gaze, despite his conversation with his best friend, kept drifting back to the blond boy. To his long, delicate eyelashes, to his slender hands awkwardly holding his glass, to his birthmark that looked particularly vivid without makeup to hide it. The birthday boy squinted at his perfectly manicured nails, and his mind fluttered at the thought of intertwining his long fingers with the blond boy's.
He brought his thumb to his lips and bit his nail as he heard Yeosang burst into laughter at one of Jongho's jokes, seeing his cheeks flushed from the alcohol. He recognized the deep, resonant timbre of his voice immediately, having longed to sigh in his arms more than once. Mingi noticed but said nothing. He simply offered him a comforting pat on the back. He had long since understood his friend's feelings for their classmate and had been silently trying to encourage him ever since.
With trembling breaths, Yunho tried to restrain himself, to find another source of interest. He kept repeating to himself, "Stop looking at him," but it was no use. His mind was trapped in the adoration he felt for his roommate.
As if to save him, the room was suddenly plunged into darkness. Everyone could hear Wooyoung's excited shout before Seonghwa and Hongjoong's faces appeared in the doorway, illuminated by 27 candles. At that moment, everyone began to sing and clap, joyful and noisy.
"Happy birthday! Happy birthday, Yunho! Happy birthday!"
Yunho laughed when he saw the Spiderman cake in front of him, slapping his thigh with one hand. The worst part was, it looked amazing. Then he looked at his members, trying not to stare at Yeosang any more than he had stared at everyone else. It was another failure, and, once again, no one said anything.
"Thanks, guys. This is the cake I've always dreamed of."
Yunho pretended to wipe away a tear from the corner of his eye to exaggerate his emotion, and everyone laughed again. Because it was genuinely funny, and because they were all a little tipsy.
"And don't worry, Seonghwa and Wooyoung did it, Yeosang won't poison you like last year."
Hongjoong had uttered that phrase without any consideration for poor Yeosangie, who blushed with embarrassment at the memory. Last year, Yunho's birthday had fallen on a day when everyone's schedules made them unavailable: Seonghwa was in France, Jongho was recording a show, Mingi was with the Xikers, and Wooyoung, San, and Hongjoong were also busy. Only Yeosangie and Yunho remained, alone together in the puppy dorm, facing a bottle of beer and a cake that Yeosangie had baked himself... which had made Yunho sick for a whole week.
"It was an accident. I really did my best. I followed the recipe exactly, and it didn't look weird..."
He mumbled his answer with a pout, the boys watching him with a mixture of tenderness and amusement. Yunho, in particular. His eyes sparkled at the memory of that evening, of the closeness he'd shared with Yeosang, of his cheeks flushed from alcohol, his lips swollen from drinking, his tousled hair, his black tank top, his loud laugh. Nights in the dorm were tough; spending them with Yeosang, whom he'd been in love with for years, was a real test of his sanity, but his birthday last year had been a particularly intense ordeal.
"Don't listen to them, Yeosangie, your cake was really good. I'm sure we just drank too much, that's all!"
He punctuated his words with a sincere nod, as if that gesture would sufficiently emphasize his words to make them real. Yeosang laughed, amused, a hand over his mouth, and smiled at his roommate.
"Thank you, Yunho."
Yunho's heart stuttered in his chest before racing, his stomach instantly filling with a thousand butterflies. His wide-eyed, puppy-dog eyes locked onto Yeosang, as if this completely ordinary, chance encounter had made him fall in love all over again. His hands clenched around his glass so tightly that Mingi's watchful eye thought he might shatter it, because all Yunho wanted was to cross this damn room. To reach Yeosang, lift his face, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, and coax a smile from him.
"Anything you want." But that was all he could say, and he meant it.
The silence that followed lasted only a few seconds but seemed to last an eternity, during which Yunho thought lovingly, "I'm screwed," before Jongho coughed excessively loudly to get everyone's attention. Yunho swallowed hard, realizing that once again, his feelings had just exploded in his face while everyone was there.
"How about you blow out your candles, hyung?" the bear suggested.
San nodded excitedly and added:
"And don't forget to make a wish first!"
Yunho nodded before staring at the cake as if it might give him an idea for a wish. He had no idea what to wish for, since he already had everything he wanted in life. His friends were wonderful, his career was at its peak, every day was happy, his family was healthy. He couldn't hope for anything more, he couldn't be too greedy, could he?
As if in silent reply, Yunho's gaze met Yeosang's. He looked at him as if he were a temptation, a forbidden thing, someone he couldn't possibly desire. He swallowed, feeling every movement of his Adam's apple in and out of his throat. Then he lowered his head, clasped his hands, and closed his eyes. He remained silent for a few seconds, just long enough to make his wish before blowing out the candles.
Everyone congratulated the birthday boy; they stroked his hair, patted him on the back, pinched his cheeks. Yunho laughed and smiled, overwhelmed by all the love his friends were showering him with. But when it was his roommate's turn to hug him, the singer's whole body went cold. A mixture of happiness at feeling Yeosang's body against his, and frustration at not being able to get more.
After the presents, they continued to celebrate, even though Yunho's love-struck mind sometimes felt like it heard Yeosang's voice more than the music. Everyone danced in the small living room, lit by far too many lamps. The cake was devoured to the last crumb, and once again, in all these scenes, as ordinary as they were touching, Yunho saw only one person: Yeosang. After a few more hours, it was time for everyone to leave. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were the first to get up, the younger one giving Yunho an almost fatherly hug on the shoulder.
"Happy birthday again, Yunho. I hope tonight marks the beginning of the best part of your life," Seonghwa said tenderly.
"We'll be with you every step of the way, so don't be afraid to try, okay?" Hongjoong added.
Yunho smiled, genuinely touched by their words, and nodded. The other boys followed more or less in succession, Mingi being the last. The birthday boy escorted him to the front door, and Mingi took him in his arms. He hugged him tightly, every fiber of his being radiating deep affection, and whispered in Yunho's ear:
"Do me a favor, bro, and grant your wish."
.................
The apartment was now bathed in the same peaceful calm as every other night. All the decorations were still hanging on the walls, but the music was off, and Yunho lay in bed. Freshly washed, in comfy pajamas, staring at the ceiling.
Yunho watched his forbidden love's every step with a doubtful expression, even swallowing as he followed the wild race of a water droplet down the blond's milky skin. And, when the younger man sat down beside him, the older man naturally shifted to make more room.
"Yeosang?" he breathed.
The boy didn't answer right away, before turning sideways to stare at the birthday boy with a curious smile.
"What did you wish for, Yunho?"
Yunho blinked and thought he'd misheard, before bursting into genuine laughter.
"You came just for that? Really, Yeosang?"
Yeosang nodded, his smile not fading for a single second.
"Yes, I'm curious, is that wrong?"
"No, no, it's not wrong."
The older boy shook his head, feigning despair at his roommate's behavior. In reality, he was mostly charmed by Yeosang's sparkling eyes and his lips pursed with mischief. However, he didn't answer right away. He even wondered what to say, his heart clenching with each thought.
Confess his wish or keep it to himself? He sighed, closing his eyes. For several minutes, he weighed the pros and cons, as if he held a secret of the utmost importance, capable of changing the course of their lives forever. Yunho felt Yeosang's patient gaze on him, the warmth of his body close to his, the scent of his honey shampoo. And he realized that he couldn't refuse Yeosang anything, even though it would be wiser to do so.
"You are my wish, Yeosang."
He saw Yeosang's mouth open, and placed a finger on his lips to silence him. He held his breath as his pupils disappeared at the sight of the other boy's flushed cheeks.
"I've been head over heels for you for years. There's nothing I don't love about you. I love your clumsiness, I love your determination, I love that you're the purest and kindest person I know. I love your sharp wit and the way you make Wooyoung's life wonderful and Hongjoong's impossible. I love the care and passion you put into everything you do. And I love your amazing inability to cook because it allows me to fill your stomach with the best things myself. And I also think you're super sexy and cute. And I love you, I love you so much, I'm so in love with you that it feels like I'm living and dying at the same time. Even though I know we shouldn't, that the fans would be angry, that you probably don't love me the way I love you, and that it's going to make things super weird between us, I wished..." He paused, revealing the foolish depth of his love. "I don't even know exactly, I just repeated your name over and over, putting all the feelings I have for you into it."
Yunho took a deep breath after that monologue. He was as out of breath as after the worst dance practice, confessing his feelings having taken far more effort. But he was careful to avoid Yeosang's gaze; he didn't want to see him disappointed or horrified, and he certainly didn't want to be rejected directly in his eyes. He could endure anything, except for Yeosang losing his charming smile because of him. His heart sank in his stomach as he felt warm breath on his skin, then soft lips on his dry ones. Opening his eyes, pupils dilated and cheeks flushed, he saw Yeosang right above him. The younger man was looking at him with deep tenderness and undeniable love. He laughed, a clear, crystalline sound, and Yunho choked at the most adorable sound he had ever heard.
"There's a saying that reveals your wish before it comes true, preventing it from coming true forever." He paused briefly, Yunho biting his lip apprehensively. "It seems that it really is just a myth."
Yeosang leaned in again to place another kiss on Yunho's parted lips. The older man's breath caught in his chest, as if breathing would reveal that all of this was just an illusion. But he felt the warmth of his love's body pressed against his own, and that warmth was more than real.
"I love you, Yunho. I'm in love with you."
"Really...?" he breathed, still uncertain.
"The thing I'm most sure of in this world is that I love you and I want to be your boyfriend."
The younger man emphasized his words with a caress on the birthday boy's cheek, a gentle and affectionate caress. This gesture seemed to reconnect some wires in Yunho's brain, and disconnect others, because he immediately turned Yeosang over so that he was on top of him, between his legs.
"Can I kiss you?"
It was a desperate plea, as if Yunho were dying to taste Yeosang. He gazed at him longingly, his pupils dilated. Every glimmer in Yunho's eyes told Yeosang how much he was desired. And above all, how much Yunho had restrained himself, suppressed his feelings, to not claim Yeosang before. Emotionally and physically.
Yeosang wrapped his arms around Yunho's neck, pulling him closer, and one of his hands found its way into his dark hair. The birthday boy was face to face with his love, the scent of his shower gel filling his nostrils. Not a specific scent, not like fruit or flowers. Just Yeosang's. The most divine scent on earth.
"Please."
That was all it took for Yunho to finally give in, his lips pressed to the blond's. This simple kiss sent a wave of heat erupting in both men's stomachs. The older man felt an intense urge to cry as he felt the moisture of Yeosang's lips on his own. It was real, not a fantasy, not a dream. His feelings were reciprocated, and he wouldn't have to hide them anymore. Not from the person most concerned, anyway. Yunho felt like he was dying of happiness as his hands explored the younger man's body, as if memorizing every curve would help him grasp the reality.
His bedroom door creaked, immediately catching his attention. He turned his head toward the noise to see Yeosang, who had just gotten out of the shower, judging by his still-damp hair. His breath caught in his throat for no apparent reason, his fingers clenching on his phone until his knuckles turned white.
And the next morning, waking up with Yeosang's naked body nestled against him, Yunho smiled, thinking that yes, the best part of his life really did begin today.