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It's late—too late for anyone to still be awake, the moon having lulled almost everyone into a deep sleep by now.
"Taehyung, you awake?" Jeongguk throws into the darkness, a soft whisper into the ear of something too dangerous to even play with the idea of.
"Yeah," he hiccups in response, turning to face Jeongguk. It's too late in the night for either of them to wilfully be awake. Taehyung watches the moon outside of the window, brilliant and white, its lustre somehow managing to catch the clean, sharp edges of Jeongguk perfectly despite him being tucked beneath a mountain of cotton sheets. He stops himself from thinking about how the moon only seems focused on Jeongguk—completely bypassing the other boys who are fast asleep, seemingly positioned better for the moonlight to catch on to. Still—its focus lies solely in Jeongguk and a lump threatens to lodge in Taehyung's throat at the beauty captured by the moon.
A couple of minutes pass before Jeongguk replies. Taehyung would have thought he had fallen asleep if it weren't for the patterns he's tracing into Taehyung's skin just where his hip bone juts. "Can't sleep?"
"No. Too much on my mind." He hopes Jeongguk understands without pushing him for a reason why.
"Yeah, I know," Jeongguk sighs, slowly ghosting his fingers up Taehyung's side and over his tummy, barely touching skin but it's enough. And it burns, burns, burns. "Me too.”
"Mm," Taehyung nods, eyes focused on Jeongguk's collarbone peeking out from under the swoop of his shirt. It's sinful the way his collarbone juts and catches the light oozing from the moon, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away if he tried. "I can practically hear and feel the chaos turning and folding into itself inside that little head of yours."
Jeongguk huffs out a laugh, not loud enough to wake the others but it's enough for Taehyung to feel the warmth of his breath on his skin.
Taehyung brings his hand forward before he allows himself to really think about what he’s doing, his fingers delicately dancing over Jeongguk's collarbone. "My chaotic little dancing star," he whispers—not because of how late it is but because he's scared. Scared of the words he lets falls from his mouth when the moon gets him to that place of vulnerability.
Jeongguk's smiling now. Two endearing front teeth tugging at his bottom lip. "Yours, huh?"
Taehyung swallows. There's a ringing in his ear. He's teetering on the edge, close to crossing a line the two of them have been dancing around for years now. Maybe it's the dark of the night or the moon's promise of something beautiful, but he lets go—falls and lets go of all inhibitions for a moment. "Oh, how I wish."
He finds his words suspended in the space around them. Their space. He holds his breath, scared to move or do anything to shatter the moment.
Jeongguk shifts slightly and Taehyung panics. "I'm—I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."
"I think you do." Jeongguk's eyes are dark yet clear as day while soaked in moonlight. Taehyung wonders how it’s possible for Jeongguk to consistently defy the impossible.
"Yeah, I guess I do," he practically blurts out, scared of his own words. He wants them out there so he can detach himself from them.
Now it's Taehyung shifting, hoping to leave the mess he's created to go back to his bed—the one he hasn't slept in since they got here. Jeongguk grabs his wrist, pulling him back into bed. "Don't go." He sounds desperate, pleading almost. Taehyung's never heard words so sure fall from Jeongguk's mouth before.
"But I—"
"Come here," Jeongguk whispers low enough for it to feel like something that's meant for only him. "You're so impossibly far."
Taehyung shifts closer, his breath caught in his throat and his body vibrating with nerves. Jeongguk tangles their legs together and shudders a little from Taehyung's warm feet meeting his cold ones.
"Better?" Taehyung asks, unsure of himself. He's unsure of everything. He knows now that they've crossed that line.
"Much," he sighs contently, wrapping an arm around Taehyung's slim waist. "Want you close all the time." It's muffled, Jeongguk's mouth now hidden somewhere in his pillow.
Taehyung notes that this is the first time he's even seen Jeongguk look visibly vulnerable and out of his depth. Always too calm—too sure of everything going on around him. It used to startle Taehyung. Now, he's more startled than ever. Unsure of how to take this side of him. Unsure of whether or not he’s earned the right to witness vulnerability be so intimate. "Why?"
He knows it's not the time for questions but his heart is threatening to jump from its cages and burst through. He needs to know.
"Your chaotic little dancing star, right?" His voice is uncertain, as if he's unsure if the words even came from Taehyung's mouth in the first place, minutes ago.
"Mine?" Taehyung asks. Jeongguk removes his mouth from the pillow properly, shifting closer and making eye contact with Taehyung. And it burns.
"I wish, I wish, I wish." The words don't get lodged in his throat this time. He's wished for so long—has spent years longing and sighing over how intangible Taehyung felt despite always being there as a physical, smiling weight on his back or by his side.
"You don't have to wish, you know. I'm yours. Or at least—I want to be." In that moment, Taehyung feels he has to be brave for the both of them. He feels it—he can feel the electricity; the burning desire; the need to be something more. He wonders if it's something that's always been there. Wonders if they were maybe both too scared to see it in the first place.
A few minutes pass before Jeongguk says anything.
"Mine," he says, bringing his index finger up and bopping Taehyung's nose. "Also mine." His finger dances along his face, inching closer and closer to his slightly parted lips before his finger is no longer there but inching closer to his own face—his own mouth.
Jeongguk gently brushes his lips against his index and middle finger, eyes fluttering before zoning back in on Taehyung. His two fingers slowly travel back to Taehyung's face, gently landing on his lips—still parted and pretty.
"Mine," Jeongguk whispers, eyes locked in on Taehyung.
Taehyung plucks up the courage to speak—to do something other than gaze in complete wonder and astonishment. He points to his eyes, his eyelashes. "And here?" He asks shyly.
Jeongguk leans forward and ghosts his mouth over Taehyung's eye, gently pressing a kiss to his fluttering eyelashes. "Always."
"What about," and Jeongguk giggles. Positively giggles at the way Taehyung lies there, thinking of places on his body he wants to be marked by Jeongguk. It's endearing and innocent the way he spends the next couple of minutes having Jeongguk kiss his cheek and his forehead, his eyebrows and his chin. He kisses his nose three times and rolls his eyes when Taehyung squeaks, "I knew it! I knew you loved my nose the most."
Jeongguk stares at him for impossibly too long, burning right through him. "You," he starts, and Taehyung's eyes widen, confusion written on his face. "I love you."
Taehyung swallows down. He twists slightly, his face falling further into the pillow to give better access to whatever it is he's trying to do.
He looks across at Jeongguk, impossibly close now, with his head angled in a way that can’t be all that comfortable, Jeongguk's furrowed eyebrows displaying confusion.
Jeongguk follows Taehyung's two fingers as they dance over his own clothed skin. Jeongguk watches in amazement, taken aback by the way Taehyung’s eyes stay firmly on him while his fingers take a path of their own.
Art, Jeongguk things. He's living, breathing, ridiculously breathtaking art.
Taehyung points to the side of his neck, hand shaking slightly. It's enough to make Jeongguk's eyebrows furrow more.
"Here." The air around them is thick and heavy and Taehyung presses down on his neck too hard but it’s not enough. "I want you to kiss me here. I want you to own me here. My body? Yours for the taking. Me? Yours for the taking. I want to give you everything I have—everything I am."
Jeongguk's mouth pops open, his petal-like lips forming an 'o'. "Wow," is all he manages to get out before he's leaning forward and gently pressing his lips to the stretch of skin.
Taehyung whimpers at the touch, his hands tugging at Jeongguk's cotton shirt. The tough is slight and questioning but it reels him in wholly.
It's all so new and foreign. Jeongguk doesn't know what he's doing. All he knows is he doesn't want it to ever stop. He doesn't want to forget the musky scent that lingers on Taehyung's neck as he pulls back and shoots a quick peck to Taehyung's parted lips, swallowing the whine that falls from them.
Taehyung stares at him, eyes bright and wide. He looks the picture of innocence in that moment. "I love you, Jeongguk, my little chaotic dancing star."
And they kiss—with Taehyung actually doing something this time other than lying there limp and lifeless. It's not fireworks and butterflies. He doesn’t feel a fire burning deep in the pit in his stomach. It's not the moment for that. The kiss feels like home. It feels like safety and contentment and the promise of something more. It’s not fleeting or threatening something only short-lived. It's secure and languid as Jeongguk brushes the hair from out of Taehyung's eyes, both of them finally settling into the mattress—finally settling into something more comfortable.
A little while later, Taehyung finds himself drifting off, eyes fluttering shut with a warmth wrapped around his waist, enveloping him.
Jeongguk watches him, sure in himself that Taehyung is finally asleep.
It's barely above a whisper, and he's sure it's only the moon who can hear his lullabies now.
"You bring out the chaos in me, but I need the chaos in order to burn as bright as I can for you. My love, my universe—I'll be your dancing star."
Those are the last words Taehyung hears before he falls asleep.