Chapter Text
Colet is barely awake, sprawled across their bed. The caffeine is still in her system—enough to keep her from sleeping but not enough to keep her fully present. The YouTube video she has playing in the background isn’t helping because interesting din pala yung Entire History of Greek Mythology (3:45:21).
She tries to let her mind drift anyway, but now she’s suddenly seeing imaginary shapes and numbers. Earlier, her daughter had insisted on help with her homework, which, unfortunately for both of them, Colet is also bad at math. It’s only Grade 1 math, but still—it’s hard to explain concepts properly to a kid.
Usually kasi si Jhoanna yung tumutulong sa studies niya. She’s always been better at teaching. Especially now that she’s a distinguished professor.
Pero ngayon hindi naman makahindi si Colet. Because Jhoanna’s gone. Off on a research trip in Germany.
Now, her head is a jumbled mess of deadlines and domestic chores. There’s the new chapter she’s writing for her new book, the nagging follow-ups from her publisher, and the 5:00 AM alarm she needs to wake up from to get Mely to school on time. And yet, for some reason, her brain is still stuck on that one math problem earlier.
It’s pathetic that it’s still knotting her up. They should hire that private tutor already. Let it come out of her next paycheck. Bahala na.
Colet doesn’t realize her consciousness is already fading until she hears something—the slow, careful creak of the hardwood floor—
—and then a voice.
“Love?”
Colet stirs, her body reacting before her mind can catch up to what was even going on. Or maybe its just the echo of a thought she’s been carrying all day, the way Jhoanna always seems to exist in the background in her life.
She feels the weight shift beside the bed, the mattress dipping ever so slightly.
There’s a presence leaning in closer.
“Tulog ka na ba?”
Colet’s eyes flutter. She squints, unfocused, until she sees her wife crouching beside the bedside table. “Jho?” she murmurs, rubbing at her eyes, her voice still thin with sleep.
She turns her head at the nightstand to glance at the clock.
1:34.
“Akala ko mamaya pa dating mo,” she slurs.
“May earlier flight na in-offer yung airline, so tinake ko na,” Jhoanna whispers, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I wanted to surprise you.”
She climbs on the bed. Her knees sink into the mattress as her weight settles carefully on top of Colet. She bends down, presses a kiss to Colet’s cheek, then the other. “I missed you, love.”
She’s still in her outside clothes—jacket, jeans, everything. Normally, that would earn a protest. But Colet is too sleepy to care. The bed is soft, too comfortable to leave, and after more than three weeks without her wife, she’s too deprived of kisses to think about anything else.
She hums instead, soft and barely there, her hands finding Jhoanna’s waist. She pulls her closer without fully waking.
Jhoanna continues trailing slow kisses along her cheek, her jaw, the soft curve of her neck—each one unhurried. Her thumb brushes Colet’s other cheek as she mumbles against her skin, “Namiss ko kayo.”
Colet relaxes to her wife’s kisses, fingers continuing to rub against her back. “Nakita mo ba yung sinend kong picture kanina?” she asks with half-lidded eyes. “Ang talino talaga ng anak mo.”
Melody had come home earlier, covered in star stamps up both her arms—too cute not to take a picture of. It reminded Colet so much of Jhoanna when they were younger. Colet’s at least grateful minana niya yung utak ni Jhoanna and not hers.
“Nakita ko nga,” Jhoanna whispers with a quiet laugh. “Sumilip muna ako kanina sa kwarto niya.” She shifts, settling more comfortably on top of Colet. “Natatakot ako baka magising eh. Gusto pa sana kita solohin muna.”
Jhoanna leans down again, her lips finally finding Colet’s. She kisses deep and slow. Like she isn’t in a hurry to be anywhere else.
Colet’s mouth parts at the contact, but she could barely kiss back—still too out of it—but she smiles anyway. God, namiss niya talaga asawa niya.
Jhoanna is really the only person she has ever kissed. The only one she ever let this close. And half-asleep like this, with her wife warm on top of her and her lips still searching, Colet can’t imagine wanting anything else.
Jhoanna always kisses her like she can never get enough—like she could still lose her. But after almost two decades together, Colet doesn’t think about endings anymore. Only about time, and the many more decades they still get to spend like this.
Colet’s hands slide up beneath Jhoanna’s jacket, her palms feeling the bare skin of her lower back. “Ang lamig mo, mahal,” She noses weakly at Jhoanna’s jaw, clearly trying to kiss back again, missing by just a little.
Jhoanna chuckles softly at the attempt and dips down so Colet doesn’t have to try so hard.
“Kamusta ba trip mo?” Colet asks in between kisses, her eyes still closed, “Pagod ka ba?”
Jhoanna pauses, forehead resting against Colet’s. “Ay,” she whispers. “Wag na muna.”
Colet cracks one eye open. “Bakit?”
“Baka antukin ka pa lalo. Ang bilis mo pa naman antukin,” Jhoanna teases, her thumb brushing just under Colet’s eye. “Ayoko pa kitang patulugin. Tsaka… mas gusto kong marinig tungkol sayo.” She shifts her weight carefully, her thumb now moving to Colet’s lower lip. “Ikaw at yung anak natin. Ano ginawa niyo habang wala ako?”
Colet exhales, sleepy but pleased. Her arms tighten around Jhoanna, like the closeness still isn’t enough.
“Marami,” she says, smiling as she tries to recall. “Nag-bake kami ng brownies, pero sunog yung una.” She laughs about it now. “Secret lang daw sana namin ’yon. Kunyari na lang hindi mo alam. Pero okay naman yung pangalawa. Nasa ref siya.”
It makes Jhoanna chuckle. Her shoulders shake as she tries to keep her volume down.
“May pa secret-secret pa pala kayo,” she teases against Colet’s lips before she claims them again. “Ano pa mga tinatago niyo sakin, ha?”
“Ako,” Colet parts, trying to sound firm. “Wala akong tinatago. Pero di mo sure sa anak mo.”
“Talaga ba, love?” Jhoanna arches a brow. “Lasang-lasa ko pa yung kape sa labi mo.” She leans in again, like she’s testing it. “Lasang… double shot espresso with Oatside?” She taps her nose lightly. “Kaya pala mukhang puyat ka.”
“Guni-guni mo lang ’yon,” Colet tries to say, but it comes out softer than intended—especially with Jhoanna’s fingers are tracing along her jaw, distracting her.
“Sabi ko sayo diba hinay-hinay lang eh. Masyado ka nang adik sa kape.”
Colet turns her head just enough to press a soft, lingering kiss to Jhoanna’s knuckle. “Mas adik naman ako sa’yo,”
Jhoanna snorts but presses for another kiss.
“’Yan ba tinuturo mo sa anak natin?” she murmurs, her nose brushing gently against Colet’s. “Hmm? Maging corny like you.”
“Kinikilig ka lang eh.”
“Crush mo ba ako, Nicolette Vergara?”
“Oo.”
“Hmm? Ano ulit? Hindi kita marinig.”
And because she can't help it anymore, Colet reaches gently for Jhoanna’s glasses, slipping them off without looking away. She sets them on the nightstand with a soft clink. Her hands stay—framing Jhoanna’s face, thumbs pressing lightly against cheeks that have finally warmed as she pulls her in.
For a moment, it feels like she’s being pulled back to a younger version of herself. Back when she didn’t yet have words for the little jolts in her chest whenever she caught those same brown eyes, or how that small beauty mark near Jhoanna’s mouth always pulled her focus. Back when she first watched her from the side, wide glasses slipping down her nose, too big for her face, but somehow still fit her perfectly.
It took her time to understand what that feeling was back then. Even longer to admit it.
Now, the name is easy. It’s love. It’s this.
“Biglang nawala yung antok mo, love ah,” Jhoanna says, smiling, a breathy laugh slipping out. “Bigla kang—”
The words fall away.
Her breath stutters instead when Colet shifts them until she’s pressed gently into the mattress, Colet’s mouth hungrily finding her there.
“Crush na crush kita. Mahal na mahal,” Colet murmurs between kisses. “Araw-araw kitang ulit papakasalan kung puwede lang.” She presses a kiss to the corner of Jhoanna’s mouth, then trails lower along her jaw.
Her voice dips a little. “Solohin mo na nga muna ako. Miss na miss na kita eh.”
“Miss na miss din kita,” Jhoanna utters back with the same need. “Sayo lang naman ako.”
***
“Sayong sayo lang.”
“Two-piece burger steak… one large fries… one spaghetti… at one Coke float,” Colet says, pulling each item out of the paper bag and laying them out on the floor between them.
They’re seated at the foot of their king-size bed, backs leaning against the footboard as they sort through the food. Jhoanna hadn’t eaten yet, so Colet ordered delivery.
She orders her favorite sundae for herself so she can eat with her. She knows Jhoanna doesn’t like eating by herself.
“Mhm.” Jhoanna takes a careful bite of her burger steak. “Ang lakas talaga ng craving ko sa Jollibee pag galing abroad,” she says, still mindful not to make too much noise so as not to wake their daughter.
Colet nods, licking her spoon clean. “Nakakain ka ba nang maayos doon?”
“Nakakain naman. Pero alam mo naman ako—mas gusto ko pag may rice.” She takes another bite, then glances at Colet. “Namiss ko rin luto mo, love.”
Pasimpleng way of Jhoanna asking for sinigang na baboy—favorite niyang luto ni Colet.
“Bukas,” Colet replies easily, already understanding. “Mag-grocery ako after ko kayong ihatid ni Melody sa school.” She pauses. “Ay— papasok ka na ba bukas? Magpahinga ka muna kaya.”
Jhoanna shakes her head. “Dadaan lang ako sa office saglit. Samahan na rin kita sa grocery.”
“Sure?” Colet asks. “Pwede naman ako na lang dumaan sa office mo for you.” It wouldn't be a problem. Her office was already used to her bringing fresh lunches for Jhoanna anyway.
Jhoanna shakes her head again, reaching for another fry. “Gusto kitang samahan. Para makapagdate naman tayo. Hindi na tayo nakakapagdate eh,” she pleads.
Colet scoops a bit of her sundae and offers the spoon. “Eto. Hindi ba ’to date?” she asks. “Sa Jollibee naman din first date natin ah.”
Jhoanna takes the bite, licking her lips before answering. “’Yan ka na naman—Jollibee ang first date.”
“Talaga naman eh. Technically, yun talaga first date natin… Grade 8.” She points to her with a spoon. “Sabi ko diba date ba ‘to? tas sabi mo oo.” she says, mimicking their voices.
“Tagal na natin nagdedate before that kaya.” Jhoanna frowns. “Grade 7,” she points with her fry. “Nagmamall na tayo almost every Friday.”
“Hindi pa yon date uy. Wala pang umaamin satin non.”
“Obvious naman na crush mo ko.” Jhoanna smiles wide. “Jho, hatid na kita pauwi.” she says mimicking Colet. “Pasimple ka pa nga sasabihin mo doon din daan ng bahay mo kahit di naman talaga.”
Colet rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling too. “Ah ganon? Sino kaya ‘tong laging naiiwan yung payong pag umuulan kahit dala-dala naman talaga? Gusto mo rin namang hinahatid-sundo kita.”
Jhoanna’s cheeks flush—visible even in the warm glow of the bedside lamp. She ducks her head, pretending to focus on her spaghetti, but the corner of her mouth twitches. “Ewan ko sayo.”
“Hindi. Sige—date tayo. Gusto mo Tagaytay? Punta tayo this weekend.”
“Talaga?” Jhoanna’s eyes light up instantly.
“Oo. May Jollibee naman doon eh.”
“Colet!” Jhoanna swats her arm—light and playful—her laugh bubbling up despite the mock glare.
“Ano?” Colet giggles, catching Jhoanna’s wrist before she can hit her again. “Saan mo ba gusto?”
They’re already halfway into what’s about to turn into a food fight when the bedroom door creaks open.
Both of them freeze.
A small head peeks through the gap.
“Mommy?” Melody’s voice is quiet, still thick with sleep.
Jhoanna gasps, hand flying to her mouth. “Hala—baby. Ginising ka ba namin?” She sets her food down quickly, already shifting to make space. “Sorry, love…”
Melody pushes the door wider, rubbing one eye with her fist. She’s in her favorite oversized pajama shirt (one of Colet’s old band tees, way too big for her). She pads over to them, eyes half-closed, hair sticking up in odd directions. She ignores her Mama completely and goes straight for Jhoanna, wrapping her arms around her middle.
“Mommy,” she repeats, clinging tight.
Jhoanna melts in an instant. She scoops Melody into her lap, cradling her close, pressing kiss after kiss to the top of her head. “Hi, baby. I missed you so much. Sorry ha, masyado pala kaming maingay na.”
Melody sniffs once, then lifts her head just enough to spot the sundae cup still in Colet’s hand.
“Penge sundae, Mommy.” she says which makes Colet scoff instantly.’
Jhoanna snorts. “Ay kala ko naman namiss mo ko. Pasimple ka rin pala parang mama mo.”
“Sayo yan nanghihingi kasi alam niyang hindi mo siya tatanggihin.” Colet brushes the top of Melody’s messy hair. “Hindi na puwede ice cream, anak. Gabi na.”
“Eh bakit po ikaw puwede mag ice cream, Mama?” pumatol pa talaga ng anak niya sakanya.
“Hindi na ako baby,” Colet says, crossing her arms at pinatulan din ang bata. “Ikaw, baby ka pa.”
“Mommy!” Melody whines, burying her face deeper into Jhoanna’s shirt
“Sige na, love o,” Jhoanna says, already cuddling their daughter closer. “ Hindi ’to matutulog. Alam mo namang favorite niya rin yung sundae.”
As if on cue, both Jhoanna and Melody turn to her with identical pouts.
Melody even clasps her hands together under her chin, eyes wide. “Please, Mama. Matutulog na po ako after.”
Colet exhales, long and defeated.
Ano pa bang magagawa niya kung sabay nagpapacute tong dalawa sakanya.
She shakes her head, reaching for the spoon anyway. “One bite lang,” she says firmly, scooping a small amount of sundae—mostly fudge and a bit of vanilla—and holding it out. “Tapos sleep na talaga, ah.”
Colet stands, brushing crumbs off her shorts. “O, drink water muna. Tulog na—may pasok pa bukas.” She glances at Jhoanna. “Kailangan din magpahinga si Mommy. Pagod din ‘yan.”
Melody lifts her head, eyes already drooping again, and reaches both arms straight up toward Colet. “Pabuhat, Mama.”
Of course. Even at this age, Melody still likes being carried. And Colet still likes to pretend that it bothers her, even though she secretly wishes her daughter wouldn’t grow up so fast that she stops wanting to be held.
She bends down, scooping the little girl up in one easy motion—small body curling against her chest, head tucking under her chin. Her arms loop around her Mama's neck while her legs dangle.
Jhoanna rises too, gathering the half-eaten wrappers into the paper bag. “Ako na magdadala ng tubig sa kwarto niya,” she whispers.
They move quietly down the hall together—Colet carrying Melody, Jhoanna trailing close with the water bottle. Melody’s breathing is already slowing, heavy and even against Colet’s shoulder.
At Melody’s room, Jhoanna pulls back the covers. Colet lowers her gently onto the bed, tucking the blanket around her small frame. Jhoanna leans in, kissing her forehead one last time.
“Goodnight, baby girl,” Jhoanna murmurs. “I love you.”
Melody mumbles something sleepy—maybe “I love you too, Mommy.”
Colet leans over the bed, brushing a stray hair from Melody’s cheek. “Si Mommy lang?” she asks. “Pagkatapos kita bigyan ng sundae?”
Melody yawns so wide her whole face scrunches, then reaches out a small hand to pat Colet’s arm. “I love you, Mama.”
Colet’s chest tightens in the best way. She bends down and kisses Melody’s soft cheek. “I love you too, baby. Tulog na talaga ha. Sweet dreams.”
They slip out of the room hand-in-hand, closing the door with the softest click. The hallway light is dim, just enough to guide them back to their bedroom.
Colet glances at the scattered Jollibee wrappers still on their bedroom floor. “Go, freshen up ka na. Ako na bahala dito.”
Jhoanna squeezes her hand once before letting go. “Salamat, love.”
Colet gathers the greasy paper bags and cups, careful not to crinkle too loudly. She heads to the kitchen, drops everything in the bin, then notices Jhoanna’s suitcase standing with the handle still extended and the wheels slightly askew by the living room sofa—abandoned in her rush to come home.
Colet smiles to herself. Si excited.
She wheels the suitcase quietly to the laundry area, unzips it just enough to pull out the top layer of clothes. She sorts the dirty ones into the hamper, folds the rest roughly for tomorrow. No need to be perfect tonight; just enough to make tomorrow easier for Jhoanna.
By the time she finishes, another yawn escapes her. The clock on the wall reads past 3 a.m.
She walks back to their bedroom, footsteps soft on the hardwood. Jhoanna is already under the covers, hair damp from a quick face wash, wearing one of Colet’s old sleep shirts. She’s propped on one elbow, waiting, eyes soft in the low lamplight.
Colet slips in beside her and reaches over to turn off the light.
She closes her eyes.
For the first time in weeks, sleep comes easily.
Jhoanna’s side of the bed is finally warm.
And so is everything else.