Chapter Text
Sakura Yamauchi had always imagined her last day on Earth would be more...grand.
And in a way, it was.
The air outside the hospital felt fresher, and lighter than it had ever been. It was like the universe has set it up specifically for her.
She stepped through the sliding doors with more energy than usual, stretching her arms high above her head as if she could touch the sky.
“I’m free!” she said, grinning wide enough that a nurse nearby gave her a slightly concerned look.
Sakura didn’t care.
How could she?
She had just been discharged, a phrase she'd been dying to hear ever since her hospitalization.
“Temporary freedom is still freedom,” she hummed, spinning once before catching herself. “And I plan to use it irresponsibly.”
Her fingers brushed the strap of her bag as she walked, her steps quick and light, like today mattered more than usual.
The sky looked brighter. The sunlight felt warmer. Even the dull gray parking lot seemed a little nicer if she looked at it the right way.
She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
“Okay,” she said, clapping once. “First, food. Real food. Not hospital food that tastes like medicine.”
She tilted her head, already thinking ahead.
“And then…” A small smile spread across her face. “I should drag HIM somewhere again.”
That thought made her laugh.
“He’s gonna complain for sure,” she added. “But he’ll come anyway.”
He always did. Thinking about that made her chest warm.
“I wonder what kind of face he’ll make today,” she murmured, stepping off the curb. “Maybe I should surprise him. Ooorrrr…even better idea, I’ll pretend it’s something boring, and then-”
Something shifted.
A shadow moved at the edge of her vision.
Sakura felt a sudden chill run down her spine.
She slowed.
There was someone there.
A man, quickly moving toward her.
Her thoughts didn’t catch up.
The world suddenly titled.
And then…nothing.
--------------------------
When she opened her eyes again, everything was gone.
No hospital. No street. No sky.
Just an infinite expanse of nothing but white.
Sakura stood still, blinking like the world might come back if she waited long enough. It didn’t. The emptiness stretched in every direction, smooth and silent, like she’d been transported to an unfinished level in a video game.
“…Hello?” she called.
Her voice didn’t echo.
She let out a small laugh.
“Okay… weird dream, but I’ll take it. Atmosphere is a little lacking though.”
No response.
She started walking.
“This is setting is kind of boring for a dream…” she muttered. “At least give me a café or something, that'd be nice.”
A pause.
“With him in it.”
Still nothing.
She kept moving, apprehension growing in her chest the further she went.
“I don’t think I’m supposed to be here…” she said. “Feels like some kind of…limbo.”
She kept walking for what felt like hours, yet there was still nothing but the white void.
“…Okay,” she said after a while, her body tense and full of unease. “I could really use a change in scenery right about now..”
She hugged her arms lightly.
“…Hello?”
“Sakura.”
She jumped.
The voice caught her offguard. Its tone was gentle, and it sounded close.
She turned and saw a bench. On it, sat an old man.
He looked just like a regular old man.
He raised a hand, waved at her, then motioned for her to come closer.
Sakura blinked once.
“Finally!” she said, walking over. “I was starting to run out of things to say to myself.”
She stopped in front of him.
“You weren’t here before, right? There’s no way I missed you,”
The old man smiled.
“I’ve been here,” he said. “You simply hadn’t arrived yet.”
She blinked.
“…Uhhh…I understood that! Totally…”
Without asking, she sat beside him.
“So,” she said, swinging her legs slightly, “where am I? Cuz I must’ve slapped and pinched myself a billion times by now. I’m almost certain this isn’t a dream. And if it is, it's too realistic for my liking.”
The man chuckled.
“You have a lively spirit.”
“Thanks! I get that a lot.”
“This is kind of disappointing, though,” she said. “If this is a dream, it’s a bit bland to say the least. A beach would’ve been better. Or a convenience store. I’d kill for some cheesecake right now.”
She glanced at him.
The man stared ahead, his face devoid of emotion.
What a strange man…but she’s dealt with stranger people before.
“Sorry if I’m being too much. It’s kinda my thing.” she said. “Talking people’s ears off, enjoying stuff, going out, that sorta thing. I enjoy a lot of things. Even the small ones. Especially the small ones. Otherwise… what’s the point, y’know?”
She looked down at her hands.
“I had a list,” she added. “Things I wanted to do. Places to go. People to drag around and do things with, whether they liked it or not.”
A small smile formed.
“He especially didn’t like it.”
The man’s expression softened.
“He?”
Sakura leaned back slightly.
“Yeah,” she smiled “Him. He’s quiet. Really quiet. If the word “hermit” were a person, it’d be him.”
She laughed softly.
“But he listens. He cares. Even when he acts like he doesn’t.”
Her voice slowed.
“And he needed me,” she said. “Even if he doesn’t realize it.”
The man nodded.
“And you needed him?”
She paused.
Then smiled again, softer.
“…Yeah.”
The silence between them felt different now. Not empty.
“Sakura,” the man said.
She looked at him.
“You are no longer in the world you remember.”
She blinked.
“…That’s a dramatic way to say I’m dreaming.”
“This is not a dream.”
She laughed.
“Okay, then what is it?”
The man met her gaze.
“You, my child, are dead..”
The words landed quietly.
Sakura stared at him.
Then laughed again.
“…Wow. Good one, mister.”
He didn’t respond.
Her smile wavered.
“…You’re joking, right?”
The man shook his head. “This is no joking matter, dear.”
Silence pressed in.
“That’s not possible,” she said.
A memory she couldn’t recall flashed in her mind.
Sakura saw herself walking down a secluded alleyway, taking a shortcut she’d never explored before.
Behind her, Sakura saw a hooded figure trailing her. She watched as the distance between the two of them closed with increasing speed.
Sakura opened her mouth.
To scream.
To warn her past self of her imminent danger, but nothing came out.
The figure sped up. Sakura saw them reach into their pocket and produce a dull knife.
Her eyes widened.
It was too late.
The scene that came after made her double over.
Memories of that scene all rushed back into her head.
The confusion, the pain, the hopelessness, the desperation, all of it.
She pushed it away.
“No…,” she said, trembling. “You’re wrong! That…that didn’t happen! Stop feeding me lies!”
“You may believe that,” he said gently. “But it will not change the truth.”
Her chest tightened. Sakura felt a lump in her throat.
“NO!” she cried out. “I don’t wanna go! I still had time! I still have so many things to do! I-”
Her voice caught.
“…I don’t want to leave him…”
“You speak highly of this “Him.” The man commented, “He must be of great importance to you.”
“He was.” she replied, trembling, struggling to process the reality before her.
“And you believe you are necessary for his happiness?”
She shook her head.
“No. But I want to be part of it.”
A brief silence fell upon the two of them.
“That’s not fair…” Sakura blurted, “My time left was short, but I still had time. Plenty of time. So why…”
The man sighed. “Unfortunately, dearest Sakura.” he said, “Life isn’t fair. I’m sorry.”
Sakura hung her head.
The man fixed his gaze upon her for a long time.
“I see that you wish to go back,” he said.
“Yes,” Sakura answered immediately, looking up into the man’s eyes. "Yes I do."
“You wish to go back to a world of suffering. Of loss. Of uncertainty.” His voice was calm, but firm. “You understand what you are asking for, yes?”
“I do.”
He tilted his head slightly.
“Many before you have begged for the same,” he continued. “Souls who clung to what they lost. They, like you, feared what awaited beyond this passage. I denied them all.”
Sakura’s hands clenched at her sides.
The man’s gaze sharpened.
“I’m not asking because I’m scared,” she said. “I’m asking because I’m not done.”
A pause.
“That changes nothing,” he replied. “It would be unfair. If I grant you passage, then what of the countless others who came before you with the same plea?”
Sakura stepped forward.
“Then let it be unfair.”
The words came out stronger than she expected.
The man’s brow lifted slightly.
“And what gives you the right to demand such privileges?” The man asked, “A privilege many before you have been denied of.”
Sakura paused.
“I don’t have that right,” she said. “I just don’t want to give up.”
Silence settled between them.
He studied her more carefully now.
“…Why?” he asked. “Why cling so tightly to a place filled with pain? With illness. With death. You, of all people, should understand that.”
Sakura inhaled slowly.
“…You’re right,” she admitted. “It does hurt to be there sometimes. A lot, actually.”
Her voice softened.
“It’s unfair. It’s messy. People lie. People hurt others. All for no reason.”
She looked down at her hands for a moment… then smiled.
“But it’s also where everything else is.”
The man said nothing.
“There are still good people there,” she continued. “People that make all the pain and suffering worth it.”
Her eyes lifted again.
“There are memories I haven’t made yet. Places I haven’t gone. Things I haven’t tried.”
A small laugh slipped out.
“…Food I haven’t eaten yet.”
That earned a faint reaction from the man.
“And I still have dreams. Lots of them.” she added. “Even if I don’t get to finish all of them… I still want to chase them.”
Sakura took a deep breath, composing herself.
“And him.”
“What about him?” The man asked.
“I don’t want to leave him,” she said quietly. “Not in the way I did. That'd break our promise.”
"Your promise?"
"I promised him I wouldn't die without telling him beforehand." she explained.
The man watched her in silence.
“For someone who has suffered as you have,” he said slowly, “your attachment to that world is… strange.”
Sakura shrugged lightly.
“It’s fun to be alive,” she said simply.
Another pause.
“…Even when it hurts.”
Something in the man’s expression shifted.
It was subtle, but enough for her to notice.
“I have guided countless souls through this passage,” he said. “Most come with regret. Fear. Anger.”
His eyes narrowed slightly.
“But you…”
He leaned forward just a bit.
“You speak of life with gratitude.”
Sakura blinked.
“I mean… yeah,” she said. “It wasn’t all bad.”
The man exhaled quietly.
“…No,” he murmured. “It was not.”
A long silence followed.
Then, he spoke.
“…Very well.”
Sakura froze.
“…Wait,” she said. “What?”
“I will allow it.”
Her eyes widened.
“You… you will?”
“Yes.”
She stared at him, completely dumbfounded.
“…Why?” she asked. “You yourself said that-”
“I did,” he interrupted. “And I meant it.”
He met her gaze.
“But I have never seen a soul like yours.”
“You were given a life marked by suffering,” he continued. “A body that failed you. A fate that cut you down before your time… and yet..”
His voice softened.
“...you still wish to return. Not out of fear… but out of love.”
Sakura felt her throat tighten.
“It is… truly a rare sight.”
He looked away briefly, as if weighing something.
“…And unjust,” he added quietly. “That one such as you should meet such an end.”
Her breath caught.
“You still have life in you,” he said. “More than the countless souls who came before you.”
Sakura’s hands trembled slightly.
“Thus, I will make an exception.”
The words felt unreal.
“For real…?” she whispered.
The man nodded.
Sakura let out a shaky laugh and released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
“…Thank you,” she said. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”
...
“…But there’s a catch, right?”
The man smiled faintly.
“There always is.”
She nodded.
“Of course there is. What’s mine?”
He studied her one last time.
“If you return,” he said, “I can’t guarantee that you’ll live a happy life.”
“I figured.”
“Your body will still be flawed. Your time left on Earth will remain uncertain.”
She shrugged.
“That’s fine.”
“…You will still suffer.”
“I know that.”
“…You may still get hurt. In many ways worse than what you've already been through.”
Sakura smiled.
“I’ll bounce back. I always do.”
The man held her gaze.
“…Very well.”
He extended a hand.
“Then your price is simple.”
She waited with bated breaths.
“Your pancreas.”
Sakura blinked.
Then she laughed. A loud, hearty, and ugly laugh.
“...You are way too kind, mister.” she said.
He smiled.
“Deal.”
----------------------------
Haruki Shiga remembered that day too clearly.
Not because it was traumatic or anything, but because it started off so normal.
The message he sent was simple.
“I want to eat your pancreas.”
He stared at it after hitting send, debating on whether or not he should elaborate.
Nah, he decided.
Sakura would understand. She taught him that phrase after all.
To anyone else, it probably sounded gross and weird.
But to her, it said everything he couldn’t say directly.
He locked his phone and left.
Café Spring. The place that started it all.
He sat at their usual table and placed his book down.
Haruki didn’t open it. Instead, he waited.
Five minutes.
He glanced at the door.
Ten.
He checked his phone.
Nothing.
Twenty.
“…She’s late,” he said quietly.
There was no irritation in his voice, only understanding.
“Probably got distracted on the way over again.”
That sounded like her.
He opened his book, read the same line three times, then closed it.
An hour passed.
Then two.
By the third hour…
“Is everything okay?”
He looked up. A new employee, someone who hadn’t recognized him as a regular, was looking down at him.
“…Yes.” He replied, “They’re just running late.”
Part of him knew it was a lie, but he believed it anyway. It was the only explanation that made sense.
By the fourth hour, the store owner walked up to him.
“Where is she today?” he asked. “It’s strange to see you here by yourself.”
“Something must’ve came up.” Haruki replied, “ She’ll probably be here soon.”
The owner looked at him then gave a slight bow.
“Alright then, I’ll leave you to it.”
Five hours.
Six.
Seven.
The chair across from him stayed empty.
At 8 PM, he stood.
“…I’ll come back tomorrow,” he said quietly.
The walk home felt…odd. The weather felt colder, harsher. The sky seemed to darken faster than ever.
His thoughts circled.
She wouldn’t forget. She was clumsy, disorganized, and a bit of an idiot at times, but this? She wouldn’t miss something like this.
An emergency?
No.
“She promised,” he murmured.
Not without telling him.
When he got home, everything was normal, yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
“I’m back.” He called out.
“Welcome back, hun.”
Dinner smelled the same.
The house felt the same.
He checked his phone.
No reply.
“…Did your phone die?” he asked aloud.
He stood up, about to make his way upstairs to his room.
The TV spoke behind him.
“…a 17-year-old female….”
He paused.
“…confirmed dead in a stabbing…”
His chest tightened.
“…identified as Sakura Yamauchi…”
Everything stopped.
“…No.”
It didn’t make sense.
“She promised…”
Darkness.
—-------------------------------
Seven months later.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The sound filled the hospital room.
Haruki had gotten so used to the noise he could hear it in his sleep at night.
He sat beside her bed, her book in his hands.
He had read it so many times it was as if Haruki could hear her voice speaking to him through the pages.
“I made another friend today” he said quietly. “He was nice. We added each other on Line. He wants to hangout sometime.”
He paused.
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“It’s exhausting talking and being with people. You made it look easy.”
Another pause.
“I think Kyouko considers me a friend now, too.”
“…She doesn’t hate me anymore.”
He looked at her.
She laid there, unmoving.
“…You should wake up. Soon”
“You said you had dreams to chase.”
His grip tightened.
“There were still things you wanted to do together.”
Silence.
“I’m still waiting.”
His voice softened.
“So hurry up. Please”
Nothing.
All that answered his pleas were the constant, unchanging beeps of the heart monitor beside her.
Then…
“…Ha…”
He froze.
“…ru…”
His breath caught.
“…ki…”
His head snapped toward the bed.
“…Sakura?”