Chapter Text
“Turn around.”
A voice rang in Jeongin’s head, one that wasn’t his own. But it was too clear in his mind to be his own thoughts.
“And for the love of god, please don’t scream.”
As Jeongin turned, he saw where the voice belonged to. A slender figure stood behind him. His black hair fell to his shoulders, and his eyes were sharp, almost digging into Jeongin. As he spoke, his lips did not move.
“Oh. Oh, I’m seeing things again.” Jeongin blinked rapidly, trying to confirm if the person he had now locked eyes with was one of his hallucinations. “I think my meds need to be a higher dose.”
“Where am I?”
“Do you want a serious answer or a funny one?” The figure scowled at him. Clearly not in the mood for jokes. “You’re in the hospital. More specifically, the psychiatric unit. Means you got something going on up there.” He pointed to his head.
“I- I don’t think I’m supposed to-” Before he could finish, staff rushed through the doors, restraining the person. Jeongin thought it was a bit overboard, he didn’t seem like a threat. But the staff know more than him. He watched as the person was dragged back to his room.
“Okay. Not a hallucination this time.”
~~*~~
2 Months Prior.
Minho loved his little brother, he really did. But it broke him seeing Jeongin become a husk of his former self. They thought it was depression, until Jeongin began to mention his hallucinations. Before they had a chance to start treatment, he had his first episode. Minho remembers it clearly, hands strangling his throat, pinned down on the floor. Jeongin’s manic eyes, ones he couldn’t recognize anymore, piercing daggers into him. Jeongin truly believed his older brother was plotting to kill him. Hearing his rambles as his grip grew tighter, it scared Minho. Thankfully, the police were able to restrain him before he was able to hurt Minho and himself further, and then he was promptly admitted to the psychiatric unit.
It took Minho a few days to be able to visit him, even after hearing the medication was helping. It was too soon for a formal diagnosis but the common consensus, schizophrenia, felt like an anvil to his chest.
“Does he remember?” Minho’s words came out as a hush, using all of his energy to stop himself from shaking.
“Not a lot. He’s aware he was with you, but as of now, that’s the extent of what he recalls.” His parents laid a hand on his shoulder, as tears softly glided down his cheek. He didn’t even realize he was crying. This was all too much. He misses when they were kids, and the world seemed so perfect. He didn’t want to see his little brother suffer.
“I want to see him.” Minho clenched his fists, his knuckles becoming white from the pressure. It took every muscle to prevent himself from collapsing into his seat.
“Soon. Just give us another day.”
~
He walked into the visiting room, after dealing with their multitude of security measures, and saw Jeongin seated at one of the many tables, occupied by what seemed to be a coloring page. It had been 3 days since he last saw him, and it took him a second to process what he was experiencing right now. He sat down across from him, trying to catch Jeongin’s attention.
“Hi.” His tone was flat, not breaking his focus from the paper in front of him.
“Hi, Innie.” Minho forced out a smile, but it pained him in the process. He really did miss him, he loves him so much. He knows this wasn’t Jeongin’s fault. So why couldn’t he truly look him in the eyes? “How’s it been, the past few days?”
“Fine. The food here sucks, though. Your cooking is way better.” Minho found himself chuckling at his response, he was still pretty quick witted. Jeongin briefly chuckled back, his head remaining hunched over the paper.
“I’ve missed you, man.”
Jeongin looked up to respond, but his eyes widened and he scrambled back in horror, falling out of his chair in the process.
To Jeongin, that wasn’t his brother’s face that he saw. Minho’s eyes were hollow, and parts of his face seemed to melt, revealing the muscle and bone underneath. Not to mention the multiple shadowy figures towering behind his brother. Jeongin shut his eyes and screamed, continuing to shuffle to the wall. He backed his head against it, slamming it into the wall repeatedly. Almost in a disturbing rhythm.
Nurses rushed in, immediately subduing him. Minho, who felt paralyzed during this entire situation, could only sit and watch as his brother’s screams faded, Jeongin slumping over as soon as the meds hit.
“You said he was doing well.” His voice struggled as it exited his mouth. Either the nurses didn’t hear him, or they chose to ignore him. Whatever the reason, he chose to raise his voice. “You said he was doing well! You said the meds were working!” The nurse stared back at him, watching the tears rush down his face. “You said…”
~
He slammed the door after entering his car and took a deep breath. And then he screamed. It was the only outlet he had at the moment. The hope of Jeongin leaving the hospital soon, coming back home, faded quickly.
“I need a coffee. Fuck.”
He parked at the nearest convenience store. As he walked up, the wind pierced the damp spots on his face, where tears once lie. He didn’t even try to make himself look decent. He just wanted a damn coffee. His hoodie slung off his shoulders, the tank top underneath being unable to hide the now exposed skin. He shoved his car keys in his pocket, pulling open the door to a familiar ring of a bell. He didn’t seen anyone else in the store, so he made his way towards the coffee machine without much worry of being seen.
“You look sad.”
Minho whipped around, looking for a source of the voice. Much to his dismay, the store still appeared empty.
“I’m gonna end up right next to Innie in that damn ward.” He mumbled under his breath, grabbing a cup and placing it under the machine.
“Innie?”
“Okay, man. Whoever’s doing this, it’s creeping me the hell out.” Minho turned around once more, a dark figure in his vision. Medium length black hair, eyes sharp as a knife. He kept his hands in the pockets of his jacket, which seemed a bit battered up. His eyes looked puffy, he seemed like he was crying too.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Minho’s jaw went slack, as he heard words come from his mouth, but not from his lips. In fact, his mouth was perfectly still as he spoke.
“Do you know where the nearest motel is?”
“It’s, uhm-” Minho stuttered as he scrambled for his phone in his pocket, which almost slipped out of his hands due to them shaking. “It’s about, 30 minutes west.”
“Thank you.” The person moved to leave, then stopped before the door, his hand resting on the push bar. “I hope Innie is okay.”
Minho stood there, his phone clenched in his hand. The bell rang as the person exited the store, disappearing from his vision.
Once he stepped outside, he heard the phone ring, a familiar contact appearing on his screen. It snapped him out of the storm of overthinking in his mind.
“Bin?”
“Minho, I’m so glad you hear your voice.”
“Me too.”
“How’s Innie? Is he doing better?”
“I don’t think he’s gonna be leaving there for a minute.” Minho paused, taking a deep breath. “He had another episode, when I was visiting him. I think he was hallucinating. He started slamming his head into the wall, Bin. I was so scared.”
A longed silence hung over the call.
“Min, I’m sorry.” He could feel Changbin at a loss for words. He knew he loved Jeongin too, that was his honorary little brother. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I could collapse at any minute. He’s just a kid, Bin. Why him?”
“I wish I could tell you. I really wish I had the answers.” Changbin sounded solemn in his tone. “You should take a break.”
“From what?”
“From school. Stay home. Visit your brother whenever you can.”
“I’m gonna be honest, that sounds like the worst possible option for me.” Minho was now climbing into his car, his keys sliding into the ignition and the engine purring to life.
“How so?”
“I need something to distract myself. Or else it’ll just keep replaying in my mind.”
Changbin hesitated before responding. “I’m here if you need anything. You can crash at my place any time.”
“I appreciate it. Look, I gotta go. My parents are expecting me home and I still haven’t told them about-“ He paused, eyes focused on the steering wheel. “I gotta go.” He hung up the phone and put his car in reverse, backing out of the parking lot and making his way back home.
~
“He didn’t respond well to the meds.” Minho held up his arms as his mother collapsed into them, sobbing. He choked back his own tears, trying to remain grounding to her. He had his chance to scream, now it was her turn. “He had another episode in there, I think that’s what it was. He started slamming his head against the wall. The nurses had to sedate him.” His mother’s sobs grew louder. Minho whimpered, his voice croaking as he tried to speak. “He looked so scared, Eomma.” His own tears broke free, streaming down his cheek. He was sick of crying so damn much.
He let his mother digest the news, hearing her make calls to the hospital. But he had mentally clocked himself out at that point, collapsing into his bed and staring up at the ceiling, where Jeongin had put glow in the dark stars when he was six. He never thought this would be his reality, ten years later. His eyes fluttered as he fought to keep them open, eventually succumbing to his exhaustion.
~~*~~
This dingy motel was all he could manage, but the humming lights and creaks of the space didn’t help his predicament. The pounding in his head grew stronger, his ears ringing as he collapsed to his knees on the floor.
“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!” He cried out, trying to plead with his own brain, for any way to make it stop. He crawled himself over to the window of his motel room, spotting a person standing in the parking lot. His eyes locked onto them, sending an indirect message through his mind.
“You look nice today.” His body slumped from the window, not giving him a chance to see the person’s reaction. He didn’t care much about that, however. A wave of relief washed over him as his mind calmed, the ringing in his ears subsiding. He tried to go without it, for three days. Three days without using his abilities was his new limit. He was able to fight through the itch in his brain whenever he didn’t, but when his head began to fight back, to punish him, he wasn’t strong enough to push through the agony.
He was able to lift himself up, stumbling a bit as he made his way towards the bed. He fell into the mattress, still not anticipating how hard it was to the touch. At least it was a place to sleep for the night. And at least he had the money to stay here as long as he did. But it was running dry, meaning this was his last night here. He tried to sleep, closing his eyes and letting the buzzing of old appliances be his white noise.
~
This was all Hyunjin knew, ever since he was thrown out. Scavenging for money, finding a motel he could crash in for a night or two. And if he didn’t have enough money, he just slept on the streets. Sometimes, he wished he could control minds, but he could only occupy them, connecting his brain to theirs. It seemed the limit of his ability was just communication, and he wasn’t curious enough to explore it more. But it felt like he constantly had to be connected to another mind, or else his brain would attack itself. And unfortunately, it scares people. And they react.
Hyunjin’s gotten beaten up before. Many times actually. Thrown against walls, black eyes. By people terrified of what they couldn’t understand. It’s the reason his parents threw him out. Once his abilities developed, when he didn’t know how to control them, they tossed him to the curb, because they said they said that wasn’t their son anymore. That was a monster.
Those words still haunt him. He tries his best to be kind to those who are unfortunate victims to his form of communication. His greatest fear is to become what his mother saw him as. Consumed by his telepathy. A monster.
Hyunjin walked, trying to keep silent for the time being. His mind was tingling, but he fought his impulses. Now was not the right time. The people around bumped into him, jostling his more slender figure. A pain shot through his head, intense enough to make him fall onto his knees.
“No, no. It hasn’t been long enough. Not now.” His hands were around his head as he hunched over, seeing the feet walking around him. He couldn’t find anyone to talk to, everything was moving so fast. The pain was too much to bear, so he screamed. Not from his mouth, but everyone heard it. Heads whipped around to see him slumped on the sidewalk, gasping for air. The only one to not react, meaning he was the cause. He didn’t even know he was capable of that.
A monster. They want to lock me up because I’m a freak of nature. He wriggled in the police’s hands, and managed to land a kick on their leg before the grasp tightened. All it took was one wrong person to hear him, people scared of what they can’t understand. He struggled as he was dragged to the back of an ambulance, landing a bite on the officer’s arm on the way there. The sedation kicked in faster than he could realize.
~
He woke up in a sterile room, which seemed to have protective precautions around it. His head was still foggy, and his words came out slurred when he attempted to speak. Didn’t matter, he didn’t need them anyways. He pulled the IVs from his arm, stumbling out of the room, which they had left unlocked by mistake.
Two double doors stood in his sight, and he was greeted by an open room once he pushed through them. Only one person occupied the room, a kid. Looked around Hyunjin’s age. His hair was shaggy and bangs covered his face, but his eyes were sharp, just like his own. He sat, occupied by a paper and crayons. Hyunjin walked up behind him.
“Turn around.”
“And for the love of god, please don’t scream.”