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Let's Get That Cake

Summary:

And eat it too!

Suguru has really nice... ah-hem, assets! Satoru just wants to openly appreciate said assets. No matter how loud, or how indecent, it makes him look.

Notes:

this was just a stupid brain worm after seeing so many memes of people appreciating suguru's delicious bakery, so here we are

Work Text:

Suguru is obviously no stranger to Satoru’s stranger, more boisterous antics. Because he often enables aforementioned antics. Trolling Nanami to no end whenever he tries to chat it up with some poor unsuspecting girl who has no idea what their circle is truly like. Hiding Shoko’s spare packs of cigarettes from her purse whenever she’s not looking. Riling up Utahime because she’s just that easy for the two of them to troll, even if Geto does truly respect his upperclassman.

Even Haibara joins in on the shenanigans, absolutely delighted to just be part of the fun.

But there are other antics of Satoru’s that are unique to the two of them. Sure, they have a myriad of inside jokes, but this doesn’t really feel like one of those things between friends. Or something that really should be something between friends at all. N

Like him constantly sneaking a little brush or harsh poke of his ass every time they’re in a room together or whenever they’re just casually lounging between classes or while hanging out with the other students. Not that Suguru minded the action or anything-- he’s worked hard on building that damn thing, along with the rest of his body in order to be as agile as he is in his martial arts. The body type matters more than people realize. Your body is your weapon. And that can be interpreted in a multitude of ways, that’s not just limited to being a martial arts specialist or a skilled jujutsu sorcerer.

On the umpteenth time Suguru catches him mid-action, snatching his wrist before it got to its target, he finally addresses his… maybe not concern, but definitely amusement. That very amusement twinkling in his violet gaze oddly reminiscent of some of the galaxy’s most stunning nebulae.

“Mind telling me what’s gotten you so hot and bothered, Satoru?”

Satoru pouts as he pretends to try to reach for another fistful of his ass, glancing behind Geto’s shoulder to get a better view while they’re striding down the street in search of a good restaurant.

“Can’t help it. You got a nice ass,” he says like that remedies the fact that their dear friend Shoko tagging behind them is gagging at every little ‘innocent’ jab to Suguru’s poor, abused ass. The skin is probably a little bruised now from how much Gojo keeps trying to poke at it.

Again, not that Suguru minds at all. He just wants to be courteous of the people tagging along with them. They aren’t alone, and the last thing Suguru wants is to make anyone feel like the third wheel.

That’s just appalling.

“You could just say it instead of making people around you uncomfortable.”

“Who says I’m making people uncomfortable?” Gojo retaliates with a huff.

“You’re making me uncomfortable,” Shoko interjects, and yeah, neither of them forgot she was there or anything but it’s not like she isn’t used to them behaving like they belong on some porno with bad acting at this point. She keeps insisting they should try it out. They might rank in millions just from how stupid and disgusting they behave together.

“You don’t count, Shoko. You’re basically part of the throuple!” Gojo claps back and Shoko responds with a roll of her eyes before taking another drag out of her half-way done cigarette.

“What, do you get off to the idea of me being sandwiched between you two or something?”

“Oh. So you’re saying you thought about it?” Gojo quips with that stupid shit-eating grin. “Come onnn, you know you thought of it.”

“Oh please, like you ever gotten any action!” Shoko retorts, “Especially since you have a repellent effect on most girls and it’s Suguru who’s your saving grace in that regard.”

“Yeah,” Suguru cuts in, getting into Gojo’s personal space, with a smirk on his lips: “Not to mention, you’re still a virgin.”

“We can change that, you know,” Gojo offers, grinning back, and Shoko groans again.

“Guys! Can we just find somewhere to eat?”

“I’d love to eat what this bakery’s serving right now,” Gojo wisecracks with a wraggle of his eyebrows. Now Geto’s busting up laughing while Shoko feels like she’s about to hurl at the graphic imagery.

“I’m flattered, Satoru. Truly, I am,” he says after wiping the tears from his eyes from his almost uncontrollable laughing fit. “But seriously, we should stop traumatizing Shoko and anyone else who might not be as open to such things.”

“Why should we care anyway? It’s not like they’re relevant,” Gojo replies.

“While a fair point, we should still be considerate about general social etiquette,” Geto counters.

“Not that Satoru would know anything about proper social etiquette,” Shoko adds.

Hey!”

“What? I’m just telling the truth, Satoru!”

“That’s so not true and you know it,” Gojo grumbles.

“We’re almost to the food district,” Geto announces, “Decide what you guys want and let’s just eat. And maybe I’ll even consider whoring myself out to Satoru for dessert.”

Gojo thrust his fists up in the air in triumph. “Hell yes!

“You two are so annoying,” Shoko mutters, but continues to follow their lead.