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The campus buzzed with the excitement of meeting friends again after the summer vacation. There were tons of freshmen booths recruiting first years to come join their struggles in their respective clubs, while there were seniors who were like soldiers built for war- composed, unapologetically calm, and most of the time cold.
Especially their student council president, Kit Reeves Romano.
“Kuya Pres! Good morning.” Jacques exclaimed as the younger waved at him from five feet away, catching some of the people’s eyes towards him. The polite smile on his face didn’t waver as he approached the sophomore student. Nang makalapit siya, he exhaled fondly as he ruffled Jacques hair.
“Is the gym ready for the orientation of the freshmen?” I asked as we walked together to the council’s office as we greeted students along the way.
When we were about to take a turn, I crashed onto someone— hard— the things that the guy was holding scattered all over the place because of the impact. Jacques, on the other hand, helped me to stand up and check everywhere to see if I had any injuries.
I laughed softly as he panicked. I held his arm to stop him from pacing, “Walang nabaling buto sa akin, Ques. I’m alright.” I assured him, already shifting my gaze towards the guy in front of us.
“I’m sorry.” He said as his head was bowed down, “I didn’t mean to crash into you. Nagmamadali lang talaga ako.” A beat and slowly, he lifted his head, “Are you okay?” He asked, voice tinged with worry as our gaze met.
And I felt my breath hitched.
In front of me is the guy I’ve been thinking of for the past two years.
He has been the subject of my art.
The man who was adjusting his glasses is the man I’m not confident enough to talk to, not because I can’t but because my heart kept pounding hard against my chest— afraid that he might found out that I’ve been yearning for him.
As I stared at him, I noticed how he tilted his head as if a yes or no question was that hard to answer.
“Uhm.. did you hit your head or something when you fell?” He asked as he studied me further, his confused gaze turning into a concerned one.
Yves Lawren Gonzales.
A Senior in the Fine Arts Department.
The sole reason why he can’t think straight whenever he’s aware that they are in the same space.
“I-I…Ah.. I’m o-okay…” I stuttered and Jacques, the ever-curious member of the council, whipped his head towards me when he heard my voice become shaky.
I sighed a little, trying to compose myself as I regained my confidence to face him like everybody else.
“Kuya Yves, diba po may performance ka today sa freshie’s orientation? Baka po late ka na?” Jacques asked before I could even open my mouth and ask him kung saan siya papunta.
Yves’ eyes widen for a second before he looked at his watch, “Hala, oo nga pala. Thank you for reminding me, bunso. Please tell mama pala that I already had my medicine kanina after I ate my breakfast here.” He rambled as he started running in the direction of the gymnasium.
It took me a minute or so to process the information that I heard, “Tara na po, Kuya Pres! Baka tayo na lang hinihintay ng ibang members ng council bago tayo dumiretso ng gym.” Jacques said as he dragged me to our office.
“K-Kuya mo si Yves?” I whispered at him, at the same time as when we entered the council room. Jacques sat at the sofa as I was in the middle of the council’s office, standing idly like a man regretting his life choices.
“Anong problema ni Pres?” Sulliven asked, his brows drawn in amusement.
“I think nagulat siya sa information na kapatid ko ang nag-iisang Yves Lawren Gonzales.” Jacques said as he munched on the biscuit that was given to him by our secretary, Nico.
Nico who was sitting beside Jacques laughed, “Seriously? Lagi silang sabay umuwi. Hinihintay pa nga minsan ni Yves itong si Jacques sa labas ng council room eh.”
“Hindi mo ba sila nakikita magkasama?” Sulliven looked at me like I committed a crime.
I shook my head slowly, still in disbelief that all this time I am friends with his brother and I’ve been locking myself inside this office, not knowing that he was always outside the four corners of this room.
“Hindi naman po niya malalaman kung ano nangyayari sa labas because he kept himself locked inside this place. Hays, Kuya Pres, paano ka magkaka-lovelife niyan?” Jacques sighed loudly as if my love life is another burden for him to lift and a problem he needed to solve.
Nico and Sulliven cackled. I glared at them, but they didn’t stop.
“Totoo naman kasi. Ang dami mong admirers but you never- not even once- looked at them.” Nico said as he wiped some tears in his eyes from too much laughing, “Because they weren’t worth it, Nics. They like me but I don’t, so better not to waste each other’s time.” I said as I casually flipped the documents I needed to sign for some joint trip.
Sulliven shook his head, “Wala nang pag-asa ‘tong tropa natin. Wag na natin ipilit kung ayaw talaga. Pumunta na lang tayo ng gym, we’re needed there.” He suggested and they all stood up to exit the room.
Nagdalawang isip pa ako if sasama pa ba ako or just give my I.D. for the access sa backstage ng gym, but suddenly, the thought of seeing Yves up close again would make me spiral.
“Ano, Pres? Iwan ka na lang ba dito?” Nico asked and I just nodded, handling him my I.D.
“Ingatan mo, wala akong spare. Pakita niyo lang yan para makapasok kayo sa likod where the staffs are. Tumulong kayo if they need a helping hand.” I reminded them and they started going out.
Pero bago pa makalampas si Jacques sa pintuan, hinatak ko siya ng mahina papalapit sa akin, “U-Uhm, paki video yung performance ng kuya mo ha?” I whispered to him, the heat crawling up to my neck as I said my favor.
I think I have never seen Ques had his eyes as big as saucers and his mouth agape, “Kuya Pres?!” He whisper-shouted as he looked back at me.
“You like my brother? Si Kuya Yves?!” The surprise from his voice coming in waves.
I gestured him to keep it quiet, and he gave me a mock salute when he recovered from the shock.
“I got you, Kuya Pres! Hindi lang kita ilalakad, itatakbo pa kita kay kuya ko!” Jacques announced as he gave his chest a tap, running after Nico and Sulliven to the gym.
Feeling my knees weakened from all the adrenaline kahit kakasimula pa lang ng term, I sat limply on the swivel chair, putting my arm over my eyes, “Naduduwag talaga ako pag kaharap ko na si Yves. Gustong-gusto kitang makausap pero dinadaga ako pag malapit ka na.” I whispered in the air, smiling a little at the confession that I know won’t make its way to him.
------------------------------ after an hour -------------------------------
*knock, knock*
Gradually, I opened my eyes when I heard the knock. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako and I think everyone’s in their class already— first day introductions and shenanigans of their professors that they need to pass like some kind of initiation.
I rubbed my eyes, adjusting to the light. When I looked at the clock of our office, it was just eleven in the morning. I still have an hour before my first class.
*knock, knock*
Another set of knock cut my thoughts.
Frowning, I stood up opened it, “Ven, I told you to stop playing pranks and just go inside the office kung may nalimutan ka—” I rambled before looking at the person who knocked several times.
And I just ascended.
In front of me is Yves.
And not just standing there- he was holding my I.D.
HOLDING MY I.D. THAT HAS HIS POLAROID PICTURE AT THE BACK.
HIS PICTURE WHERE HE WAS SITTING IN THE FIELD, EYES CLOSED AND SUN-KISSED.
JACQUES GONZALES, HUMANDA KA TALAGA SA AKING BATA KA!
“Ibabalik ko lang sana ‘tong I.D. mo, Reeves? Pero baka naistorbo kita—” Yves said but I cut him off by shaking my head. I can’t trust my mouth right now, baka kung anong masabi ko sa ganda ng kaharap ko ngayon.
“Uh, here. Nakiusap lang kasi si bunso to give this to you, may class na daw kasi siya.” He breathed, pushing my I.D. towards me, “Also, wala akong nakita if that is your worry. I didn’t see my polaroid behind your I.D. Promise—” He rambled and realized what he said.
Our eyes widen as realization hit.
“Oh my gosh. I-I’m sorry. Una na ako” He said and ran away before I could even protest.
Before I could even told him that I’d rather have him know everything— na ako yung laging naglalagay ng polaroids sa locker niya with notes below it.
Telling him how much I like his smile.
Writing effortlessly because he’s already beautiful, that no words can ever compare to how I see him.
Letting him know that I adore his imperfections— the way he bites his nails when he’s nervous, the way he tilts his head when he’s confused or curious, or even the way he looks at something that interests him.
I wish he stayed a little bit longer before this courage of me runs out, because what I’m feeling is too much to handle already that I might explode.
----------------------- several weeks after ---------------------------------
It has been a month since that incident outside the student council office and Jacques has been pestering me to make my move dahil dumadami na daw yung kalaban ko.
“Please, Kuya Pres… Ikaw lang gusto ko maging boyfriend ng kuya Yves ko.” He begged as he formed his hands like he was praying.
At heto ako ngayon, nasa tapat ng locker area. Waiting for Yves to arrive, kasi routine niya na bago umuwi ay dadaan muna siya sa locker to put some of his things in.
“Reeves?” Someone called out and I abruptly looked where the voice came from.
“There you are…” I breathed a sigh of relief as Yves walked towards his locker, putting some of his things inside.
“Why are you here?” He asked without looking at me, making me feel more nervous than I actually am, “Did Jacques pester you in going here? I’m really sorry if ganun, wag mo na lang pansinin yung kapatid ko—” He continued but I held his wrist, so that he’ll stop. Ipinaharap ko siya sa akin ng dahan-dahan.
I smiled warmly at him when our eyes locked, “It’s okay, Yves. Breathe…” I told him and he did, “To answer your question, yes may sinabi sa akin si Jacques but I didn’t gp here because he told me so— siguro, a part of that pushed me to be right here but not entirely.” I paused.
I waited for him to process it first as he was looking at me intently.
Please lang, Yves, kalmahan mo yang pagtitig mo sa akin baka himatayin ako.
“Uhm so you’re here because?” He asked after a beat.
“I’m here to tell you that I put a polaroid inside your locker, there’s a message for you in that photo.” I told him and he rummaged his locker again to find it.
When he faced me, he was already holding the polaroid of a coffee shop outside school.
His gaze lifted to me and back to the picture he was holding, “Will you spend your after class with me— every day?” He read out loud and I swear that I can hear my heart beating so loud.
I gulped as I waited for his answer, his eyes stayed lock on the message on the polaroid.
Then, as if everything was in slow motion, he lifted his head.
“Only if you keep capturing moments of me— with you in it.” He answered as he smiled at me, eyes shining.
And I can’t help but be grateful that with a photo, a love can bloom out of captured moments.
THE END.