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Their end came much like any other — quiet and abruptly. It's unclear whether what they had could even be considered anything that warranted an end, but just like in every other aspect of their lives, it was exceptional. Nothing Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku could ever have could be normal. That word didn't exist in their realm, and so even though their end was no different from any other, it had to be considered anything but.
And just like everything had an end, they also had a start.
Their start wasn't normal either, and perhaps that is what led to its inevitable demise.
It hadn't been monumental, nor special. It hadn't been anything, really, besides a hand on Katsuki's shoulder. To think that a hand on Katsuki's shoulder would be all it took for everything to change.
Katsuki couldn't even blame it on adrenaline, nor could he blame it on a post-battle high. They weren't even on patrol nor in uniform. They had been in Izuku's kitchen, cooking dinner together like they did every Wednesday.
Izuku had insisted it just had to be Wednesday. Monday was too early in the week, Friday too late, and Sunday was their only day off that they should spend independently. He claimed the only way they could ever consider their weekly tradition a time for relaxation was if it was smack in the middle of the week. Katsuki would never admit that he was right, but he knew that Izuku knew he agreed with him.
They saw each other every day regardless, working together as the perfect pair they knew they would be. Over the years, they've only gotten stronger, their teamwork reaching heights they didn't even know it could reach, and their bodies were so in tune with each other they could fight side-by-side with their eyes closed.
It shouldn't have been a surprise when their work habits bled into their regular lives. A hand on Katsuki's shoulder was normal, especially after battle when reporters were swarming him. It was nothing but that, a hand on his shoulder to calm him down and simultaneously hold him back. Over the years, he had gotten better with lashing out, but that didn't mean he wasn't still pissed off when a pestering reporter shoved their camera in his face.
Izuku was always there to make sure he didn't take anything too far, and that hand always meant Izuku was there in support of him, not against him. And when that hand landed on his shoulder, he would place his own hand on the middle of Izuku's back. If his gauntlets bothered Izuku, he never let it show, and he never shoved Katsuki off. Maybe Izuku needed that touch as much as Katsuki did.
But those touches only ever happened when they were working. Never outside, and never in their regular lives. There was an unspoken boundary between the two of them, where words never felt like enough so they just faded away into the silence between them. When it was just the two of them, they were careful. They never spoke about things too personal, and they never touched.
"Kacchan," Izuku had exclaimed before he grabbed Katsuki's shoulder.
Katsuki just made a sound in confusion, frowning before he looked up from the cutting board, looking at Izuku, but the shorter man wasn't looking at him. No, Izuku was looking at the television in the living room. They usually left it on when cooking or eating, just so they could pretend the silence between them wasn't awkward.
Sometimes, Katsuki wasn't even sure why Izuku invited him over.
Katsuki followed his gaze, still not understanding what had Izuku so worked up that he broke their silent rule of never touching him outside of work. He tried not to shrug his hand off, his chest tight.
Unconsciously, he lifted his hand and placed it on Izuku's back as he leaned over the counter to see the TV better, his eyebrows pinched. "Ha?!"
"Kacchan." Izuku was gripping his shoulder tight enough to make bruises.
"That's not even me?!" Katsuki found himself yelling, offended by the stupid tabloid claiming a blonde man with a woman hanging off his arm was him.
"…Are you sure?" Izuku asked, skeptical. "It looks like you."
"Then look closer." Katsuki practically growled. Izuku yelped as he was pushed by the hand on his back to lean over the counter. "You should know better than anyone that that's not me."
"…Either that's you or someone got a really good wig," Izuku mused. "Even the spikes are at the same angle."
Katsuki made an exasperated sound. "Are you fucking deaf?"
"Not that I know of. Do you have something to tell me?" Izuku shot back.
"You little shit." Katsuki pinched the back of his neck, snorting when he yelped. "They just fucking said that it was taken tonight. I've been here, dumbass."
"Hey, Kacchan, whatever you did in those 15 minutes between us getting off work and you coming here is not my business," Izuku said, a smirk playing at his lips. "…A little fast, don't you think?"
"You think you're so funny, don't you." Katsuki gripped the back of his neck tighter, his entire body on fire from just feeling Izuku's skin under his fingertips. "That's not me!"
"I know," Izuku laughed, not even flinching from the tight grip Katsuki had on him. "His shoulders aren't broad enough. And his waist isn't as cinched."
"…What the fuck." Katsuki felt his ears turn red. "You fucking freak."
Izuku just shrugged, his hand finally falling off his shoulder as he turned to look at the blonde. Katsuki's hand fell to his side from the motion. "If you don't wanna be objectified, don't wear a suit so tight."
"It's like you want me to blast your balls off," Katsuki snarled, his palms heating up.
Izuku made a face. "Not in my kitchen, Kacchan. Take it up when we spar tomorrow morning."
"You're so annoying," the blonde huffed. Izuku had never been scared of Katsuki, and now he didn't even try to hide how unassuming he found him. Katsuki pretended like it didn't give him a thrill every time he realized Izuku would press his buttons just for the hell of it, knowing he would never actually hurt him.
"Chop chop, Lord Explosion Murder." Izuku clapped him on the shoulder for good measure, Katsuki grunting. "I don't have all day."
After that, Izuku seemed to test him. It started off with a hand on his shoulder whenever he walked passed the blonde or when he wanted his attention. Unlike in his kitchen, the touches were fleeting, only leaving Katsuki wondering and aching for more.
They were so small and so normal that no one batted an eye. Not even when Katsuki felt like a fire was slowly burning inside of him, his chest tightening and breath catching whenever he sensed Izuku nearby.
Izuku touching him was nothing major. It was whatever. It was so fucking normal and Katsuki was also so fucking normal.
Katsuki was a fucking liar.
The first time he felt Izuku's hand on his knee, he exploded the table his hands were resting on. Luckily, it was explosion-proof considering they were in their agency's cafeteria. Almost everything in that building was Bakugou Katsuki proof-ed. When Katsuki turned to look at Izuku, the green-haired freak was just grinning, his eyes dancing. The fucker found this funny. Now that, Katsuki could not have that.
Two could play that game.
Katsuki considered him and Izuku as a special third thing. They weren't friends, and they weren't rivals, and they weren't partners. No, they were just Deku and Kacchan. So taking a leap and touching Izuku back shouldn't have felt as monumental as it did.
The first time Katsuki touched Izuku of his own volition without the shorter man initiating it, Izuku fucked jumped. He goddamn activated One For All and leapt so high his head broke through the ceiling and he got stuck there. Katsuki cackled when he yanked Izuku down, the green-haired man's entire face red.
"Not fair," Izuku grumbled as he tried to shake the plaster out of his hair. "Kacchan, you fucking dick."
"All I did was touch your back!" Katsuki laughed as he pulled him closer by his biceps, shaking the white dust out for him. "I do it all the time!"
"Kacchan," Izuku was blushing, his eyes darting around at all the onlookers who witnessed him literally jump into the fucking ceiling. "Shut up. Please. Oh my god."
"You're so fucking stupid," he said, grinning as he ruffled Izuku's hair. "One For All is not meant for all that."
"I'll punch you," Izuku warned.
"Yeah, right," Katsuki scoffed.
Izuku walked away that day with his head held high and his knuckles bruised. Katsuki laid on the floor, groaning and a bruise forming on his stomach. They both knew Katsuki had let him punch him, and they also both knew that something was shifting in between them.
After that, it became a competition. They were touching each other constantly. Hands were on shoulders and on backs and on waists and on knees and on — well, you get the point. Their friends looked at them weirdly when they practically wrestled each other just as an excuse to touch each other in ways they shouldn't, such as when Katsuki pulled Izuku into a headlock just for an excuse to pull him into his arms.
It was exhilarating. Katsuki had never felt anything like it before. Izuku's hands were literally changing the trajectory of his life, and he was drunk on it. He couldn't get enough, a permanent ache in his chest when he fell asleep at night thinking about Izuku's scarred hands and his smile.
Katsuki had been the one to cross the boundary first. They were alone, and they were in Katsuki's apartment, chilling on his couch watching a goofy All Might movie they saw fifteen years ago when they were 7 and everything was still kind of okay. Sitting there watching a movie from their childhood together again made Katsuki unreasonably needy, and something in him ached for Izuku.
So he did the only thing he could think of doing. He reached over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side. Izuku, bless his heart, didn't even flinch. The angle was off, but Izuku adjusted it, shifting so he was closer and resting his head on the blonde's shoulder. Izuku wrapped his arms around his waist loosely, as if it was natural, as if it they had done this thousands of times before (and perhaps they had, in a different universe). Izuku fit under his arm like he was meant to be there, his shoulders the perfect size for Katsuki's arm to wrap around.
Sometime during the movie, Izuku threw his legs over Katsuki's, settling in. And Katsuki let him, his chest warm and head buzzing.
They didn't talk about it. No, they never did. They should've, but they didn't. They ignored what they shouldn't have.
Katsuki saw how red Izuku's cheeks were when the movie ended, and he knew Izuku could hear his pounding heart throughout it, but neither of them acknowledged it. They feigned ignorance, another crack forming in their already fragile relationship.
The next time they cuddled, it was after Izuku had a bad day. Katsuki hadn't asked, but he could tell something had happened during patrol. Every Tuesday and Thursday, the Wonder Duo had separate patrols. Something about taking control of the press and showing they could work just as well independently. Katsuki hated it.
"Kacchan." Izuku sniffed as he opened the door to the blonde's apartment. He wasn't surprised. Izuku always came to his apartment on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
"Bad day?" Katsuki hummed.
Katsuki lived in a studio. He hated having too much space to himself, and he was barely home as is. Having rooms felt like a burden, and so when he had gone apartment hunting after graduation, a studio he stumbled upon that was 5 minutes from Izuku's apartment complex had felt perfect.
He realized now just how wonderful having a studio was. Even from his bed, he could see Izuku enter the space. He could see the man trudge his way through his apartment, avoiding all the furniture even with his eyes closed as his shoulders sagged just from how often he was there.
He had no idea why Izuku was coming near his bed, but he wasn't going to say anything. Not when keeping his mouth shut resulted in the green-haired guy dropping his entire weight on top of him.
Katsuki made a noise. Izuku was fucking heavy, his muscle mass taking up about 80% of his body.
"It was awful," Izuku whined into his neck, his breath hot on his skin. "I'm so tired. I was swarmed like six times and every robbery decided to happen within thirty seconds of each other. I was the only one on patrol for my region today so I had to be everywhere all at once and the cops couldn't even keep up so I had to bring every villain to the station myself and my body just hurts, Kacchan. I didn't get to stretch today because I woke up late and now I'm just aching and I left my keys at home so I couldn't even go home first and get changed and turns out I left all my windows locked so I either have to pick my lock or break my door down and—"
"I have the spare, remember?" Katsuki said softly, his hand coming up to rub Izuku's back. "Breathe, it's okay."
"…I missed you." Izuku grumbled into his shoulder.
"I bet."
"You whore. You didn't miss me?" Izuku bit said shoulder in retaliation.
"Did you just fucking bite me and call me a whore?" Katsuki asked, flabbergasted.
"Shut up. I had a worse day than you. Let me get away with it." Izuku lifted his arms to hug Katsuki around the neck, shoving his arms under his head.
"I'm letting you get away with a lot right now, Izuku," Katsuki said. Izuku tensed on top of him.
"Don't talk about it," Izuku whispered.
"We have to."
"No, we don't."
"Izuku—"
"Kacchan." Izuku lifted his head to look down at him, Katsuki's hands falling down to his waist, his mouth dry going when Izuku straddled his hips. "I know what you're thinking."
"…Do you?" Katsuki arched an eyebrow.
"I do. This is weird. This is our new normal, and it's weird." Izuku was looking at him seriously, his voice quiet. As if if he spoke too loud, everything around them would break. "But we don't have to talk about it Kacchan, we can just be. We can just do it."
"…I think that's the problem, Izuku." Katsuki frowned. "I want to—"
"Please. Don't talk about it," Izuku begged. "Kacchan, we don't talk about these things. We don't have to start now."
"I think we should," Katsuki said.
"No." Izuku shook his head. "Please. Kacchan, you hate talking about things. Don't be stubborn now."
"Don't turn this onto me." Katsuki sat up, Izuku scooting back. "We're 22 now, Izuku. Let's talk about this."
"No." Izuku was resolute in his answer, his hands gripping Katsuki's shirt.
"Why?" Katsuki frowned, not understanding. Was Izuku still scared of him? Had he been mistaken this entire time? Were there things that could never be fixed between them?
Izuku looked troubled as he chewed on his lip, looking into Katsuki's eyes. His round, green eyes were always so bright. Katsuki couldn't look away.
"We don't need to use words to understand each other." Was what Izuku decided on.
After the war and after graduation, Katsuki, for lack of better words, mellowed out. His aggression was left for the battlefield, his anger reserved for apprehending pesky villains who had nothing better to do than wreak havoc. So he didn't argue with Izuku, and he didn't push his friend too far. He wanted to fight him, he wanted so desperately to start a fight and have them yell it out and for once just fucking communicate. But everything was too fragile, and Katsuki was scared of breaking what they had.
Another crack.
Just like Izuku said, clinging to each other and trying to crawl into each other's bodies when they were alone became their new normal. Katsuki clung to Izuku and Izuku clung to him, and they barely spoke. They found comfort in each other's touch, knowing each other well enough to know what the other was thinking and too scared to acknowledge it in fear everything broke.
"Hey, man." Kirishima clapped Katsuki on the back, settling in the seat next to the blonde.
Izuku was on Katsuki's other side, practically glued to him. It was just one of those days where everyone's schedules matched up and Class A met up for dinner. They were getting rarer and rarer, but Katsuki found himself enjoying them. He would never admit it, but it was good to see his old classmates and pretend everything was normal.
He usually barely spoke at these functions, keeping to himself and talking to his group of friends instead of the whole group. He absentmindedly placed his hand on Izuku's thigh as he spoke to Kaminari and Sero, barely registering Izuku's right hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck. It was normal, almost routine.
Katsuki didn't realize his friends fell silent until he looked up and saw that Kirishima and Kaminari were staring at him weird.
"What is it?" Katsuki made a face, scowling as he lifted his cup to his lips, looking around in mild confusion and discomfort. "Something on my face?"
"Are you and Midoriya…?" Kirishima trailed off, his head cocking to the side as he looked at the pair curiously.
"Are we what?" The blonde quirked an eyebrow.
"Dude." Kaminari laughed awkwardly. "He's touching you."
"Never mind that. You're touching him." Kirishima gestured towards Katsuki's left hand on Izuku's thigh.
Katsuki followed his gaze, staring at where his own hand was gripping Izuku's leg, his thick thigh nearly too big for Katsuki to hold onto. He slowly looked back up, blinking at Kirishima. "And?"
"AND?" Kaminari screamed, standing up. "YOU BLEW ME UP FOR TOUCHING YOUR SHOULDER!"
Katsuki just shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. "What's your point?"
"BAKUGOU!" Kaminari wailed as he leaned over the table, narrowly missing the plates of food. "YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD US THAT YOU AND MIDORIYA ARE DATING!"
Silence.
And then, all at once, shouts. Everyone in Class A had heard Kaminari and had paused their individual conversations to hound the two.
He vaguely made out Todoroki asking Sero if them dating had been a secret. He heard Uraraka yelling at Izuku, asking when they got together. He closed his eyes when he heard Iida demand for everyone to calm down. He took his hand back when he heard Mineta say something crude about two guys getting it on. Izuku's hand fell off his neck when Ashido asked when their anniversary was.
"We're not dating." Izuku's voice was loud when he spoke. He was confident, too.
"What?" Another hush fell over the group.
"But…?" Kirishima frowned.
"That's it. Me and Kacchan aren't dating," Izuku said, looking around and making eye contact with everyone.
"Bakugou." Kirishima looked at Katsuki.
"What the nerd said," Katsuki said into his cup, taking small sips to just give him something to do.
"Haha. Yeah. That makes more sense. Bakugou would never go for Midoriya," Mineta laughed obnoxiously.
Katsuki slammed his cup down, the cutlery around him rattling from the force of it. "Actually, Izuku rejected me."
"I what?" Izuku turned to Katsuki, bewildered.
"No, yeah," Katsuki nodded. "You rejected me. Remember? It was like, maybe two weeks ago? I was making your helpless ass dinner and you told me that we're just friends and that I should be going out on dates and stuff. Think you called me a pathetic virgin in there too. Said you were tired of me. Said I was too clingy or something, can't really remember. Too heartbroken about it. Barely got myself to come out today and then you sat next to me. Never took you for the heartless type, Izuku."
Izuku was gaping, his mouth opening and closing helplessly.
"Damn. That's rough, dude," Sero said sympathetically.
"I didn't take you for that kind of guy, Midoriya-kun," Iida looked at Izuku in disappointment, shaking his head.
"THAT NEVER HAPPENED?" Izuku exclaimed, looking around in disbelief. "HE'S LYING!"
"Me?" Katsuki raised his eyebrows, leaning closer to Izuku and looking him in the eye. "A liar?"
"YES!" Izuku pushed at his shoulder, Katsuki cackling as he leaned away. "You're such an asshole!"
Katsuki gave an exaggerated shrug. "Use your words then. Maybe then I wouldn't get the wrong idea."
Izuku tensed beside him, his eyes narrowing as he looked at his childhood friend.
Another crack.
"What was that?" Izuku demanded, having followed Katsuki home that same night. "That wasn't even funny!"
"You won't talk to me," Katsuki shrugged, taking his shoes off. "I reached my own conclusions."
"That's not a conclusion, Kacchan! That was just a lie!" Izuku exclaimed, clearly upset. "I never said you were too clingy and I never—"
"Izuku." Katsuki turned to look at him. "Do you think the way we touch each other is normal? Do you think the word 'friend' comes to mind when I look at you? Do you really think we can keep living like this?"
"What's so wrong with it?" Izuku looked at him with wide eyes. "We're not hurting anyone."
"You're hurting me," Katsuki said. Since the war, Katsuki has been honest with himself. He doesn't lie, he doesn't let his feelings fester up until he rots. He feels and he feels deeply. "You, Izuku, are hurting me."
"Kacchan." Izuku took in a deep breath. "We don't have to talk about this."
"No. I need to," Katsuki shook his head.
"We don't."
"Izuku."
"There's no use."
"Then tell me why!" Katsuki yelled, his palms crackling. He was beyond frustrated, just wanting to understand the man standing before him. Izuku's never felt so far away from him before, not even when they were stupid kids yelling things at each other because fighting was the only way they knew how to let everything out. "Help me understand why you can't fucking talk to me!"
"You won't understand," Izuku said, his voice tight.
"You can't just determine that by yourself, you selfish fuck!" Katsuki pushed his hand through his hair, feeling suffocated. "Christ, Izuku, do you even hear yourself? It's me!"
"Exactly!" Izuku slammed his hands together, One For All activating and making the sound much louder than it should've been. "It's you."
Katsuki grit his teeth together, staring at the shorter man. "What is that supposed to mean? You're telling me because it's me you're saying I won't understand?"
"I can't lose you." Izuku shook his head. "I'd rather we stay like this forever — in limbo — than risk losing you forever."
"Izuku, if you don't fucking explain right now then you will lose me," Katsuki threatened. "I've let you get away with so much. I've let you do so much."
"Why?" Izuku asked, his voice cracking. "Why have you let me get away with it?"
"You know why!" Katsuki exclaimed.
"Say it!" Izuku yelled.
"Because I fucking love you, you piece of fucking shit!" Katsuki exploded, yanking at his own hair. "Because I'm just so okay with anything you can do to me and I just want you in any way I can have, and I want more!"
"I can't be more. I can't give you more," Izuku said, his hands shaking as he stared at Katsuki. "I can't love you the way you want me to. I can't and I don't think I ever will."
"And that's okay!" Katsuki reached out, grabbing Izuku's shoulders hard. "I don't care. It's okay. As long as I can have you, even if it's just like this, I don't care. I'd wait a thousand years, I'd do anything. Just help me understand why."
Izuku was shaking in his grip, his lips trembling as tears threatened to spill. Katsuki hasn't made Izuku cry in years.
"Kacchan," Izuku swallowed thickly as he reached up, holding onto his wrists. "Kacchan, please."
"I just want to know you, Izuku," Katsuki whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "All I've ever wanted is to know you."
Izuku took in a shaky breath, his eyes closing and the first tears falling with it, getting caught in his eyelashes. "You're my favorite person, Kacchan."
"Yeah?" Katsuki smiled despite himself.
"Yeah." Izuku nodded fervently, swallowing thickly. "But that's all you are. My favorite person. You're who I imagine victory as. Someone I admire, someone I want to beat, someone I want to compete with for the rest of my life."
"I know."
"I don't—I don't think I can feel the same way you do," Izuku was breathing heavily, his eyes screwed shut. "I love you, but it's not—"
"It's not what?"
"I don't think I'll ever want to have sex with you," Izuku whispered, his voice shaking. "I don't think I'll ever want to do more than just exist with you. I want to be with you, Kacchan, I really, really do, but I hate the idea of having to ask you to give up sex for me."
"Izuku. I'm a virgin. I literally don't know what I'm missing out on," Katsuki deadpanned, frowning as he cupped his face. "I don't need sex, I just want you."
"You'll change your mind," Izuku denied. "You'll grow to hate me. You'll wonder why you can't be like everyone else and why you're missing out on everything."
"I don't want to be like everyone else." Katsuki wiped away Izuku's tears gently, pulling his head back to lean down and look at him closely. "I just want you."
"Nothing will change," Izuku sniffed. "I don't want you to touch me any more than you already do."
"Nothing has to change, Izuku," Katsuki promised, squishing his cheeks together. "It's just us. It's always been just us."
Izuku opened his eyes, blinking through his tears as he looked at the blonde. Katsuki was being gentle, something he had come to learn how to be over the years. Izuku loved him, Katsuki could see it in his eyes. He's seen it since they were 5 and tripping in rivers, and he saw it when they were 13 and Katsuki was telling him to take a swan dive off the roof, and he saw it when they were 15 and fighting a war they thought they were going to lose, and he saw it when they were 17 and Izuku put his hand on Katsuki's shoulder for the first time.
Their friendship was forever fragmented, cracked beyond repair and that door closed quietly and quickly in the privacy of Katsuki's studio apartment.
But after every end, comes another start.
There are no obvious shift from platonic to romantic, no real difference between friendship and romance. They were still Katsuki and Izuku, and they still had dinner together every Wednesday, and Izuku still went to Katsuki's apartment every Tuesday and Thursday after patrol to tell his partner about his day.
Perhaps it wasn't normal, but it was their normal.