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A few weeks had passed since Voit had finally been transferred to prison. Since then, calm had reigned at the BAU.
Even though many criminals were still on the loose, the team was relieved not to have to deal with someone like Elias Voit anymore.
Emily had noticed the change in JJ’s posture, she was more relaxed, smiling and laughing more. She still kept her wrists and hands tucked into her sleeves, but the constant tension that had previously consumed her had lifted.
One evening, after spending the entire day on paperwork—dozens and dozens of forms to fill out—the team decided to go for a drink at their favorite bar.
Luke had suggested the idea after seeing Emily yawn more than three times in a row through her office window. Tara and Rossi had, of course, run with the idea and spread the word. Penelope and Tyler were thrilled at the idea of going out, and JJ... JJ didn't feel like saying no to her family.
In fact, she was the one to head toward Emily’s office. She knocked softly twice on the wooden door. Emily, who had her head buried in her papers, jumped a little at the sound. She sat up quickly and asked the person to come in.
JJ walked in, her hands in her jeans pockets, moving slowly until she came to a stop almost right up against Emily’s desk.
At that moment, Emily held her breath for the same reason as always. JJ looked absolutely ethereal. She’d cut her hair not long ago, it now fell to her shoulders, blonde and wavy, perfectly complementing her V-neck shirt, which was tucked into her jeans. Her piercing blue eyes narrowed just a little, scrutinizing what Emily was doing. She was always watching her. Sometimes Emily could feel her gaze from the offices downstairs, wondering what JJ found so interesting about watching her struggle with the third draft she was rewriting because the higher ups didn’t like the report.
But she never really took her eyes off her, and neither did Emily, to be honest. They were always exchanging glances during briefings—subtle, certainly—but it meant a lot to both of them.
The truth was that JJ had been struggling these past few weeks because Henry was set to leave for college at the start of the school year. Emily knew it, god, she knew everything about JJ’s life, but she didn’t dare bring it up for fear of making her sad.
One evening when Penelope had had a little too much to drink, she let slip that JJ had called her earlier, crying, telling her she felt alone in dealing with the situation, and Emily had refilled her glass of wine.
Now, JJ was standing in front of her with a big smile, as if all the world’s problems had vanished. They were still there, Emily knew it, but JJ had learned over the past few years to put on a brave face, it almost scared Emily, actually. She still remembered one of the things JJ had said during one of their first conversations on a case: “You didn’t even flinch.”
She now had before her a person who echoed who she used to be, and she wished the job hadn’t changed her so much.
JJ stepped forward, resting her hands on the desk and leaning in just enough for Emily to see the cleavage peeking out from under her top. Emily swallowed hard.
"We're going out tonight," JJ announced. It was a statement, not a question. "You're coming."
She had that tone—part humorous, part authoritative—that made Emily melt on the spot. She couldn’t say no to her. After rummaging through her papers to pretend she was busy or to distract herself from staring at JJ’s chest, Emily swallowed again and said, “Fine, but I’m not paying tonight.”
JJ let out a chuckle, and Emily felt herself blush at the sound of it, it was so sweet and sincere, and my god, how she’d missed it.
JJ didn’t linger. She turned around and closed the door behind her, just letting her head peek out a little as she left. She was really teasing her. Emily sighed before shutting down her laptop and sorting through the files scattered across her desk. Then she walked over to the coat rack, slipped on her jacket, and joined the others in the lobby.
They finally arrived at the bar around six; Tara had already cracked a joke that made all the guys laugh, and Luke had offered to buy the first round. JJ had stayed by his side at the bar to help carry the glasses.
The others took their seats around a booth in the back of the bar. Rossi sat next to Tara, who was next to Emily. Across from Rossi and Tara were Tyler and Penelope; Emily wondered if JJ would end up sitting across from her.
But when JJ and Luke returned with everyone’s drinks, JJ let out a little “Excuse me,” weaving her way through the crowd to sit next to Emily. It made her smile like an idiot for a few seconds before she pulled herself together. She hoped JJ hadn’t noticed anything, but she was already chugging her beer, letting out a “woo!” after taking several gulps.
That’s when Emily’s eyes drifted from JJ’s mouth down to her hands. And she realized. JJ wasn’t wearing her wedding ring anymore. The ring that represented her family, her love for Will, was no longer on her finger. There was only a mark where the ring had once rested.
Emily blinked several times to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. But no, the ring was truly gone.
She didn't feel like bringing it up—how could she? "Oh, by the way, JJ, aren't you wearing your wedding ring anymore?" No, that's too stupid.
She glanced at her left hand from time to time, as if the wedding ring were going to reappear all of a sudden. But it was definitely gone. Emily felt a strange sensation in her stomach, not something sudden or uncomfortable, but a feeling that wouldn’t leave her for the rest of the evening.
The conversations were repetitive; always criticism of some of the agents at Quantico, complaints about the higher ups, and Luke and Tara’s stupid jokes. But Emily’s eyes hadn’t left JJ. She was laughing, a lot, actually. She’d ordered two more beers since the evening began. The alcohol had made her cheeks rosy like a flower. The soft light of the bar reflected off her beautiful blonde hair, and Emily couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to run her hand through it. It must be so soft.
But the best part was her gaze, a loving gaze that rested on each member of the team and sometimes even on Emily, as if she were making sure Emily was laughing just as much as she was. And when blue met brown, Emily could swear her heart was melting in her chest.
Penelope and Tyler had finally each called a taxi, feeling that the alcohol had gotten a little too strong, and Rossi had said goodbye twenty minutes ago.
Only Luke, Tara, JJ, and Emily were left. The mood had cooled off a bit; the room suddenly grew quieter. Of course, they were all wasted except for Emily, who for once had only had two glasses of bourbon. She’d held back and savored them very slowly. Tonight was a night she didn’t want to forget. The way JJ’s laughter filled the whole room, as contagious as a virus.
While Luke and Tara debated who could pick up the most women, JJ had leaned toward Emily, her head resting on the palm of her hand, her eyes scrutinizing every detail of Emily’s face.
And then, fuck it.
“JJ?” Emily asked quietly, almost as if she didn’t have permission to speak to her.
“Yeah?” JJ was already giggling as soon as she heard her name.
Emily cleared her throat, running her hand behind her neck to scratch it slowly—a habit she’d picked up to hide her discomfort—but JJ knew her all too well.
“Just ask,” JJ said, which caught Emily off guard for a second. She opened her mouth, but the words got stuck in her throat. She still glanced at JJ’s wedding ring, which was no longer there. JJ followed her gaze then turned her eyes back to Emily’s. She awkwardly placed her hand on Emily’s thigh, gesturing with her left hand, from which the ring was missing. “It’s okay, you can ask,” she said, completely uninhibited.
Emily flinched slightly at the feel of JJ’s hand on her thigh, but she was used to her being touchy when she was drunk. She quickly regained her composure to reply. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” She wondered if she should go on. She always had that voice in her head telling her to leave others alone. But not tonight, not when JJ was giving her the chance to ask questions. It might be selfish, but it would keep Emily awake tonight if she didn’t get the answer to her question.
“We don’t talk much anymore, I just hope you’re okay,” she continued, and saw JJ’s face light up suddenly.
JJ smiled again, resting her hand lightly on Emily’s thigh. “It’s okay, I’m ready to let go,” she replied, saying nothing more. Emily didn’t really understand what that meant. But suddenly JJ pulled her hand away from her thigh, and she saw a tear roll down one of her cheeks. JJ didn’t even notice, she hadn’t tried to catch it.
"You never call, I wish you would, I wish you’d check up on me," JJ said. Emily opened her mouth to interrupt her, but JJ hurried on. "Just getting a text before sleep was enough for me, you know?"
Emily felt her eyes well up. It was true that ever since she’d seen JJ start to find a little joy again, she’d pulled away, returning to her usual life alone. She didn’t send messages anymore.
“I know I shouldn’t blame you, Em, but sometimes I’d wait at night forcing myself to stay awake, just in case you’d called,” JJ continued.
And it hurts like hell.
Emily forced herself to blink to hold back her tears. "I'm so sorry, JJ, I didn't know," Emily replied, immediately hating herself for the words she had just spoken. What a shitty excuse.
"I just miss you," JJ finally admitted.
"I miss you too, always," Emily replied without hesitation.
"Then come back home with me tonight, let's watch a movie or something," JJ replied, her expression softening a little more after Emily had admitted that she missed JJ. And she didn't hesitate. Not tonight. Not after this conversation.
She draped her jacket over JJ’s shoulders, a silent way of agreeing to go home with her.