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"I'd hate for someone to take one of these and crack it," Jiang Cheng says, turning the onboard aerodynamics computer for the new car project in his hands. "Could you get your daughter on it?"
Wei Wuxian looks up from his computer. "You want me to put Enai on securing the systems."
"Why not?" Jiang Cheng frowns. "Putting in a remote connection to -"
"Jiang Cheng." Wei Wuxian shakes his head. "The oldest you can argue realistically for her being is nine. Did we ever put nine-year-old shidis on gate duty?"
"Well, no, but -"
"Do you want to explain to Xichen why he is having to explain to Lan Zhan that you asked for our nine-year-old daughter to be on guard duty?"
Jiang Cheng hesitates. "We could explain that she's not on guard duty, exactly, she's just helping run the cars. She is helping, isn't she?"
"Absolutely not, this is an independent system. I don't want to have to have the she's not old enough to drive, Wei Ying conversation and you don't want to have to explain to the engine team why the control computer has to have a booster seat that fits all current child safety guidelines." Wei Wuxian knows his husband. He also knows Lan Zhan's relationship with Enai, which continues to be...
Sweet, obviously, but also utterly insane. And Wei Wuxian can't do anything to explain to Lan Zhan why Enai does not need to be doted on like a biological child in every way because if he does she'll fry his laptop.
"I'll rearrange the project schedule to get you some extra time to make an independent system that's secure," Jiang Cheng says, and sighs. "You seriously can't explain to him that you wouldn't be putting her in the car, just connecting her to it remotely?"
"When she opens a text file for him on his computer he claps for her. He has made his computer comfortable for her visits," Wei Wuxian says. "I had to have the conversation about keeping air vents clear again."
"This is going to blow out the whole project, I can tell."
~
"Are you seriously coding this from scratch?" Jiang Cheng explodes. "No wonder it's taking so long!"
"Do you want to explain to Lan Zhan why borrowing her code isn't using either her body or her spiritual energy for car manufacture?" Wei Wuxian doesn't look up.
Jiang Cheng sighs. "At least tell me that the computer will brick itself if someone tries to break into it."
"What a ridiculous question." Wei Wuxian keeps typing.
"I know, just -"
"Of course it won't brick itself, that's no fun at all. Most of what I've already done is the various ways it will fuck with them. Check this out." He switches to the terminal connected to the test unit and enters a command.
"Is that a dancing potato."
"Yup. It's only got the macarena so far but I do have Enai helping me teach it to do the cha-cha."
"I hate you."
"No you don't, you're not allowed." Wei Wuxian allows himself to be blatantly smug about it. "Not for another year."
"I am absolutely certain he cheated." Jiang Cheng folds his arms.
"Obviously, but the terms of the bet didn't say he couldn't." Jiang Cheng really should have known better.
"I thought he'd just want one of the cars when they were finished."
"And that's on you. As is making bets with Arthur in the first place. I'm just going to point out that the longer you stand there complaining at me the longer this is going to take."
Jiang Cheng huffs and leaves.
~
Wei Wuxian has some of their best people who aren't him testing the security system on the Rulan S's onboard aerodynamics computer.
One of them apparently tried to break into it using a computer that's still connected to the network.
Whoever it is is going to be in trouble, because the reason he can tell is that every phone connected to the Xiang He Industrial Group's global network just started beeping Baby Shark.
He thought that would be funny, and he wants it noted for the record that he was right.
Hopefully Jiang Cheng doesn't kill them.
"Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng bellows.
That's probably better, Wei Wuxian decides. Jiang Cheng won't kill him. He's not allowed. Shijie has been very clear on that since they were children.
He really should get started on the actual aerodynamic control systems. The security's probably adequate, he thinks.
~
In addition to the aerodynamics system, the Rulan S has what should be a more standard onboard computer to control the things they usually control. Wei Wuxian wasn't really involved with that. A-Yuan was.
Wei Wuxian really wants to try out the Rulan S and he's fairly sure he's figured out a lot of where he's been going wrong with cars.
It takes him days to figure out a plan to sneak down to one of the test models, and then when he sits in it and turns the key the dashboard lights up but the engine does nothing.
The dashboard screen is showing -
Is that a raspberry?
No, obviously not.
It's six raspberries, and they're line-dancing.
The lights in the garage come on. A-Yuan strolls up to the car looking far too pleased with himself.
"The on-board computer on the test models can detect if the driver is you," he says smugly. "My little sister is monitoring them for test data. You're not going to be able to break into it and override."
Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "You're both grounded," he says finally. "For a year."
"I still don't think you know what that means," A-Yuan says.
"I've seen it on TV. It's definitely a thing parents do to punish their children. I'm trusting you to follow through. This is on the honour system." He gets out of the car.
"Sure, Dad." A-Yuan pats his shoulder. "We love you. We know what this car is capable of. We want you alive, so we're not letting you drive it."
"You're so dramatic," he sighs.
"Of course. It would only be a little fireball. Still no," A-Yuan says. "Come home, Father invited Jordan and Ziyuan for dinner and Jordan wants to ask you about a haunted cat."
Wei Wuxian brightens. "How haunted are we talking about?"
"That's very much the question, yes." A-Yuan smiles.