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You hold a place in my heart no one else can touch.
"Izuku?" My voice drops to a whisper. He acknowledges his name with a small hum, not looking up from his book. "You're such a nerd." I sigh. My eyes flicker over him, posture relaxed, no need for tension or unease. Green locks hanging in front of his face, he needs a hair cut, I note.
Golden light from my lamp highlights his expression, freckles stand out against sun-kissed skin, chipped lips between teeth, he chews on them slightly as he continues reading.
Emerald eyes.
I can't see them properly from the angle I'm sitting at, but I know how they would have shone.
I've memories every dint and detail of the boy, the way he holds his breath slightly when he's trying to remember something off the top of his head. How he smiles when its forced, the way he drums the same beat with his fingertips in all their tests, every single god damn time.
I've got every stich of his habits sewn into my memory.
Forty-seven freckles scatter like starts across his cheeks, a small mole upon his collar bone, two on his right leg, eleven on his back, another on his hip. A small nick of his helix is missing from his left ear, it happened seven mouths ago, when he was fighting with some D lister villain.
Izuku had scars lining most of his skin, a canvas of story's and secrets, which I knew every inch of. I knew how and when, where and why.
"'Zuku?" I asked again, abandoning my book upon his bed, finally he glances up, a smile playing his lips.
I was right about the way his eyes would shin.
"Yeah Kacchan?" Izuku's face is adorn with such peace. I didn't say anything, just fidgeting with the blanket we lay upon. It was soft. Deku liked soft things.
Izuku blinks, tilting his head, waiting for me to continue. Instead I slip my hand into his, playing with his fingers, the blanket momentarily forgotten. Humming a light tune, he leans backwards, pulling me with him until my head lands upon his chest.
Hands still intertwined.
We lay there, no words spoken, only basking in each other's presences. The clock ticked on, trying to bring us back to the fact the world will keep on spinning. Though I closed my eyes, the sound of Izuku's steady breathing and heartbeat drowned out the clock, allowing me to drift into my own little world. Seconds could become years and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
At peace.
I brought Izuku's wrist to my mouth, gently brushing my lips against the faint scars below. I did this a lot.
I have kissed every single one of his scars more times that either of us could count. Finger's trailing over pale lines, letting my tender kisses line his skin. Trying to replace every horrid memory with a good one, a soft one.
The first time I had done this, Deku burst into tears, sobbing as he held me close, as if trying to merge our souls into one.
My eyes flicker up to his, red on green.
"Kacchan.."
"Yeah?"
"I.." Izuku turned away, a slight blush tinting his face, eyes fixed on the wall beside me, then he decided to change what he had originaly intended on saying by abruptly adding "You know there is this jellyfish that can kill you in thirty minuets, from a single sting, and there's no cue for it."
"Australia?" I mumble into his arm.
"Y-yeah, yeah, it's practically transparent, and tiny, it's stinger make no pain when they sting you at first, then y-you body does, does a lock down after thirty minutes of you seeming fine, immense pain, seizure, and then death" His words came out fast and blurred together, I nod as he continues.
"Oh and did you know- well I think you do - anyways, um, a day on Venus is longer than a year on Venus. A-and you'll like this one. Peanuts' are used to make dynamite right, as their oils are extracted to make nitroglycerine. Like your sweat, meaning your like a peanut- in some sense." He concluded, I let out a snort.
"Er, the longest someone has gone without sleep is eleven days and twenty-five minutes. Also you can't hum while holding your nose-"
"What's wrong?" I interrupt him.
Glancing down at me for less than a second before looking away he replied with "N-nothing, why."
My eyes narrow, I hate when people lie, especially when Izuku does, even more when it's to me.
"Come on 'Zuku, you don't normal blab randomly unless something's up. What is on your mind- and don't you dare say bloody jellyfish or peanuts." I say lifting my chin as I do.
He pauses, green eyes trail over my face before flickering to the door then back to me, dropping to my shoulder, then back to under my eye; where he normally looks when talking. Eye contact isn't his specialty.
"Kacchan, re-really I'm fine." A small smile flickers over his face before glancing back towards the bloody door.
Narrowing my eyes I turn to where he's staring. "Yeah and I'm the Queen of fucking England." Sarcasm drips from my mouth.
"Kacchan." Izuku shoots me a look, "It's the king of England, the Queen died, remember." He proceeded to flick my forehead.
"Ow- shit yeah." Drumming my fingers on his arm I think for a second. "Fine."
He frowns, eyebrows furrowed, "Fine?"
"Yeah, fine, Izuku. Just - if something is bothering you, you can talk to me, okay?" I burrow my hands within his hair, pulling him slightly closer, a frown still fixed upon my face.
"Okay." He nods slowly, eyes fixed on the gap between my eyebrows now. "Promise." His words were sincere, soft, melting on his tongue and smothering me. God he was perfect. My finger dance through his curls, falling to the back of his neck and twilling with green stands,
"Can I keep talking?" He asked, fidgeting with my shirt, as he bites on the inside of his cheek. I nod, allowing him to numb my brain with random facts he'd learnt from falling down rabbit holes of information and hyper fixations.
After a while of his voice yapping away, from political views, Shoto's conspiracy theories, best and worst tropes in literature, why allegories are 'amazing', and the entire history of All Might, Deku's word started to slow, murmurs uttered between steady breaths. Curled up against me and a pillow, a leg over my waist and an arm nuzzled against his chest, with his head resting upon my shoulder. Without trying to move him, I learn over, flicking his bedside lamp, darkness swarmed my vison. Blinking, my eye-site adjusted slowly, getting accustomed to the mostly pitch black room. Though a tiny sliver of light crept form under the bathroom door, Izuku insisted on having it on, I never argued.
Turning back to Deku, I tuck a piece of hair which had fallen in-front of his face. It was far too dark to tell from where he was curled up, but I knew how his expression would have looked. Blurry tried eyes, lips curled at the corners, parted every so slightly. Such a kissable face, he was fucking perfect.
It can be so overwhelming, the swelling pain in my heart. I don't know if I could ever place it into word. As if my brain wouldn't comprehend the fact he was laying down beside me. Despite knowing he wasn't going anywhere, the need to hold him tight was clawing at my chest.
I wanted to scream, do something, adrenaline spiking, god he was too pretty, too precious, too empathic, too loving. Fuck I can't handle it.
With my brain overloading, Deku seemed to find it the perfect time to shift, sitting up slightly, allowing the bathroom light to outline his face.
Green eyes flicking between my red ones.
Opposites.
His hand found the side of my face, I was right about the way he would look. The dim white light gave Izuku an ethereal glow, as if we were under the milky-way. He loved the stars. I did too.
"Earlier I was going to say something.." Izuku's words bring me back to the present. I nod, not knowing what to reply with. He carried on, voice quite, "But, I know you don't really.. like words.. or that kind of thing, and- and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything.."
"Izuku." I cut him off, "You could stab me in the chest and I would still kiss you goodnight."
He giggles at that, making me smile slightly. I said the right thing, I think?
"Kacchan that stupid-"
"But true."
He rolled his eyes at that, the darkness of the room seemingly giving us a sense of protection.
"Kacchan..?"
"Hmm." I blink, waiting.
"I-" he took a deep breath, hesitation engraved on his face, "I.. um."
"Hey, you can say it now, later, or never. Its okay, I know idiot."
The green haired boy nods, laying his head back against my chest, I brush my lips upon his forehead as I mutter, "Goodnight 'Zuku."
"Goodnight Kacchan." He echos back.
The celling fan spins over our head, again and again, moving with the seconds as night drags on. Before closing my eyes I hear Izuku barely mummer "I love you." under his breath, as if a secret which will be carried away by the soft wind.
A stupid smile spreads across my face, heart pounding in my chest, my mind melts into a puddle of feelings I swore I would never allow myself to surrender to. But here I was. Cuddled up with Izuku Midoriya, my Izuku Midoriya, without a care in the world. The sound of rain fall from outside joined his soft breathing which carried me away.
Maybe life was going to be alright. After everything. We were going to be okay.
Making sure Izuku was asleep, I pull the blanket up to his chin as I slip one of my legs between his. Before muttering four simple words I had forgotten how to even say, It was the first time in years I had heard my voice utter them.
"I love you too."