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They Stole Our Keys At The Bar Tonight

Summary:

“You’re MARRIED?” He practically screamed.

 

“To EACH OTHER?” Lapointe added.

 

Or,
Shane and Ilya are asleep in a hotel at their first Ottawa away game together. Except no one knows about their relationship and Centaurs just show up to their room at 23 at night...chaos ensues.

Notes:

I wrote this a WHILE ago with large plans, and then finished today...but I kept it to this little thingy<3 I hope you'll still enjoy Pookie.

(Rated teen and up solely for swearing and LIGHT sexual innuendo. But it's THIS fandom...there's SO MUCH SEX?? I feel like I don't need to warn about swearing but I'm doing it anyways).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Shane was slowly stirring awake by a faint knock on the door. It took him a couple of seconds to become aware of his location. In a hotel – hold on- no, okay good, his husband was still next to him, peacefully sleeping – in New York. They had just played against the admirals, and won, and had gotten back at around only nine. Okay, good, so that was where he was.



Then, the knock became known to him, he quickly checked his phone. What were people doing in his room at–



23:00



–His phone blared at him loudly. Not audible, but the screen was way too bright. He lazily grumbled as he put it away. The thought came back, why the hell was someone here. 



He heard a voice.



A voice he knew all too well.



“Cap?” 



Mattheo Holmberg.



Oh no.



This could only be a disaster and–



Fuck.



Shane was in Ilya’s room, when he was supposed to be in his own.



Well, they had stopped booking one for him, so he didn’t exactly have his own room – but only the captain had to be aware, read: his husband.



Except the team didn’t know that.



So, fuck.



Ilya was a deep sleeper, anyone who ever had to room with him or spend the night with him knew that.



He could easily play it off, just pretend that Ilya was asleep. 



Except for–



“Please help.”



So, they were in trouble, maybe a lot. But they were rookies, so that was kind of expected. 



What he didn’t expect to also hear was:



“Cap, please come out.”



Wyatt Hayes?



What was he doing at their – Ilya’s – room at 11 at night.



Curfew was around ten, so they knew they weren’t supposed to be here. 



Which meant Shane also knew that it probably wasn’t something good.



He pressed a kiss against Ilya’s bare back – the sicko preferred sleeping without a shirt for some reason, not that Shane would ever complain, though – in hopes of waking him up, if even just slightly.



“Ilya,” he quietly murmured. 



Ilya stirred lightly, not enough to wake up, though. 



“Ilya, wake up.” He shook Ilya’s shoulders this time – probably with more force than necessary, but oh well – Ilya finally moved.



“Hollander, what are you–” Shane shushed him immediately.



The knocking continued.



Ilya looked at him in confusion. 



“Shh, I don’t know who exactly is out there but I heard Bergy and Hayes at least.”



He tried to keep his voice down, though the hotel walls were probably thin and Ilya was still half asleep so he couldn’t be too quiet.



“They’re in trouble, I think, probably.” Ilya responded, and after that he let himself drop down back onto his pillow.



“Yes, that’s why you, their captain, has to help.” 



“But you’re here.” Ilya said.



“I’m aware.”



Shane said, rolling his eyes and then pressing another kiss against Ilya’s back.



“Just go get them, don’t open the door too wide.”



Ilya grumbled, loudly now, it was probably clear that he was waking up, to their teammates, still on the other side of the door.



Ilya reluctantly got out of bed and moved to the door.



He – for fucks sake – didn’t even have the decency to put on a shirt.



What Shane expected was for Ilya to open the door, blocking his bed with his body so the team couldn’t see Shane.



What he also expected was for Ilya to be back within five minutes.



What he hadn’t expected was for half of the team to immediately pour into their room like a wall built gone wrong and now the bricks were being thrown at everyone in the vicinity.



“Jesus, fuck.” Ilya said loudly as Wyatt Hayes, Mattheo Holmberg, Luca Haas, James Lapointe, Nick Young and Zane Boodram and Troy Barrett got in.



“Cap, we’re so sorry we need to– Hollander!?” 



Mattheo fucking Holmberg.



Again.



“What is wrong?” Ilya said, clearly agitated, though Shane saw the amusement through the captaincy.



Shane felt like dying, though.



He was so fucking nervous.



He then realised that there had been only one bed and that both sides of it had clearly been slept in.



“You’re sleeping in a room with, wait? – Why are you shirtless?” Lapointe spoke, clearly confused.



“You all stream into my room like a dam that can’t be stopped so I deserve explanation first.”



“Good evening guys,” Shane waved awkwardly from where he was propped up against the pillows.



“Good evening Hollzy.” Bood said back, just as confused. 



“What the fuck happend.” Ilya asked them again.



“Is anyone pregnant, anyone dead?” Ilya sat himself down on the small desk chair in the room.



“No, no, we just–” Luca tried but choked on his words.



“Our room keys got stolen by some people at the bar we were at.” Young finished for him.



"Bood? Hayes? Barrett? You agreed to this?” Ilya said, raising his eyebrows at said men.



“No, of course not, but the rookies called us first and we had no fucking idea what to do because why would we,”



Boodram continued for him, “So, we told them to go to you – and Shane apparently – but they needed a room key to even get in the elevator so we had to go down and if they want to go anywhere else they’ll still need a key.”



“I don’t really care about this right now, are you two serious or just hooking up?" Troy asked curiously. 



“We aren’t uh–” Shane doubted. The reason he didn’t want to tell them about their relationship was because he wanted to earn his spot at the team.



Which he had, he had definitely earned his spot and everyone respected him as a player.



“You aren’t hooking up? Because it makes sense that you would be in Roz’s room where he was shirtless and you were both just sleeping.” Troy raised another eyebrow.



“If you are, that’s cool of course, but if you ever break up I don’t really want it to ruin the team atmosphere or anything.” Bood chimed in.



“Wait, when was the first time?” Luca asked curiously.



Shane muttered something under his breath – he wasn’t about to lie now.



“Мы женаты.” Ilya muttered silently and Shane’s head pinged up at that.



“I’m sorry?” Bood asked again.



“Okay, before you all freak out, please let me explain.” Shane asked quietly. 



“Why would we freak out?” Wyatt asked, genuinely concerned. 



Shane looked at him.



“Wait, was that why you moved to Ottawa? Jesus, how long has this been going on.” Shane nodded at Wyatt softly.



Ilya moved to him and took him in his arms.



He swore he hadn’t made it obvious how distressed he was but Ilya somehow always saw through him.



Shane immediately caved – his arms went to wrap around Ilya’s shoulders as he practically  took Shane into his lap. 



“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Ilya muttered silently.



Shane forced himself to look at everyone again. 



“I’m sorry, we– I–.”



“Okay,” Ilya said.



“Let me explain?” Ilya asked and Shane nodded.



“Okay, so, Shane was dating a nice girl from Boston named Lily, she was perfect and nice and beautiful and amazing at everything she did – and super hot.”



Shane laughed silently at that.



Everyone looked in confusion.



“Then, his team went through his phone and they didn’t like what they saw.”



Ilya got interrupted before he could continue.



“I’m sorry, adult men went through Hollzy’s phone?” Young asked, surprised.



“Okay, but why would they react badly to a girlfriend.” Bood asked, clearly getting annoyed – Shane could only hope it wasn’t at him, Ilya knew it wasn’t.



Ilya shushed them.



“Shane got engaged to that girl a little bit before and she had sent him a photo of her hand with the ring on.”



Ilya continued peacefully.



“Okay? So where is she right now, oh god. Did she die?” Troy asked in complete terror.



Ilya shushed again.



“Shane had been seeing this girl since their – I mean his – rookie season but it only became official in 2017.”



“Why the fuck do you know al of this?” Bood asked, as did Young, Lapointe, Wyatt and Holmberg.



“Holy shit.” Luca silently whispered – Shane wondered if he had connected the dots yet.



“You’ve been sleeping with Il– Lily since rookie season?” Troy’s eyes went wide.



Shane nodded.



Ilya smiled.



“This doesn’t explain why you’re sharing a room with–” Hayes murmured.



“Holy fuck.” His eyes widened and his gaze flickered between Shane and Ilya.



Fucking goalies.



Everyone now stared at him in confusion.



Wyatt and Luca shared a knowing look.



A few seconds later Barrett joined them as a smile crept on his face.



Bood raised his eyebrows at Ilya.



“Cap, are you saying that–” He stopped himself.



“We got married last summer.” Shane smiled wearily while looking into Ilya’s eyes.



For some reason the rookies still hadn’t catched on.



“Wait, I don’t get it, you’re cheating on that girl with our captain?” Holmberg asked, genuinely concerned – the rest of the rookies nodded in agreement.



Lily is Ilya you dumb fuck.” Luca teased while giving him a hit to the back of his head.



His jaw dropped.



“You’re MARRIED?” He practically screamed.



“To EACH OTHER?” Lapointe added.



Shane nodded, already bracing for the impact.



Ilya put his hand on Shane’s thigh, reassuringly.



“Wait, who else knows?” Young asked. 



“No one, well, my parents, Ilya’s best friend: Svetlana Vetrova and Rose Landry.” Shane explained simply.



“Isn’t she your ex?” Holmberg asked, immediately followed by



“Why didn’t you tell us?” Lapointe asked, he looked genuinely hurt.



“As I said, Shane’s team is full of dumb fucks and homophobes.” Ilya sneered.



“Hayden also knows, Hayden Pike, he’s my best friend and still plays as Montreal.” 



Troy nodded understandingly.



“So you guys really don’t have a problem with it?” Shane asked, his voice gone weak again.



“Of course no, fuck no, why would we?” Holmberg responded immediately. “I mean, my brother’s gay, would be shitty of me not to support him, no?” 



“My sister is married,” Everyone looked at Wyatt, incredibly confused.



Wyatt laughed silently, “ To a woman I mean, they also have a kid, I love him.” 



Shane’s smile slowly crept back up to him.



“Can you please tell us when you–” Bood stopped himself.



“Wait? You said rookie season.” 



Luca choked on air.



Holmberg’s eyes went wide.



Troy tried not to fall over.



Wyatt took a step back out of shock.



Young practically drowned in his spit.



Lapointe went red.



“Rookie season??” They all responded – more or less at the same time.



“The summer before.” Ilya grinned.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed!! I absolutely LIVE for the Ottawa Cens find out about Shane and Ilya...so...yeah!!

Kudos and comments are VERY VERY VERY much appreciated.

I love you<3 But more importantly, YOU ARE LOVED!! Never forget that!!