Chapter Text
Jaebum winces as he drags himself to the nearest clinic. A child cries when they eyes meet and Jaebum flinches from his high-pitched screams. He turns away from the whimpering child and raises the collar of his leather jacket in a pitiful attempt to cover his bloodied face.
He finally finds one and limps his way inside.
“Name?"
“Im Jaebum."
“Please take a number and wait for your turn to be called,” The lady across the desk stopped mid-sentence to gasp when she finally notices him.
“You need immediate attention, please wait here.”
Despite his heavy injuries, he scoffs at her statement. Where else would he wait?
He contemplates calling Youngjae to update him about his whereabouts. But then the lady returns with a doctor behind her. She ushers him onto a free bed and the doctor efficiently rips open his filthy shirt to a parade of blue black patches decorating his tanned skin and a freshly cut wound. He cursed internally at the asshole who took him by surprise with a pocket knife earlier. He had slashed his side while he was fighting off another guy but Jaebum didn’t let him go easily, as he kicked his knife away after noticing and landed a perfect back hook to his face.
He’s thankful for the doctor’s expertise as he quickly cleaned and stitched up his wounds. He’s also extremely grateful that he’s a quiet worker as it wouldn’t be the first time he’s had an overly-concerned doctor tend to him while nagging throughout. Words of advice didn’t matter since it wouldn’t be the last time he’ll end up this way anyway. He bowed slightly to the doctor once he was done and avoided his worried gaze.
“Hey kid,” The doctor called unexpectedly when he was making payment for his treatment and medicines. “Keep my name card. Next time, if you get yourself in trouble and no one attends to you, call me personally.”
Dr. Park Jinyoung
“Don’t glare at me, kid I just saved your life. Go, and stay out of trouble. I don’t wish to see you so soon.” Jinyoung chides before getting called to attend to other patients.
Jaebum swallows the deep lump he feels in his throat but turns away cooly without thanking him. He didn’t need to be thanked twice, and he seemed annoying too. Who’s he calling kid?
The moment he reached his studio apartment he crashes on his bed and yells, temporarily forgetting about his injury. The temperamental and crazy widow living below him screamed and threatened him to shut up. Jaebum ignores her and gets off the bed, clutching tightly to his waist in agony.
His phone rings.
He wants to desperately pretend he doesn’t hear it but a pressing feeling tells him it’s Youngjae and he lowers his head in guilt and shame. He cowardly turns to the bathroom to take a shower when his phone rings again, and again, and again.
Jaebum finally picks up.
“Jaebum hyung! I was so worried! How dare you ignore my calls?”
Jaebum feels something in him break when he hears the younger’s sobs coming from across the line. This is precisely why he doesn’t want to pick up.
“So? If you don’t want me to cry all the damn time then freaking pick up when I call the first time and stop fighting.” Youngjae wails.
“You must be tired,” Youngjae suddenly says calmly after a period of crying on his end. “Wash up quickly and try to sleep. Goodnight.” He ends the call suddenly and Jaebum throws his phone to the far end of the room. It crashes against the wall and bounces back on the wooden floor. He doesn’t realise till he’s out of the shower that his face was still wet, with angry hot fresh tears flowing down his flushed cheeks. He nearly punches his bathroom mirror in frustration but remembers his promise to Youngjae to not to take his anger out on his mirror ever again and crouches on the floor dejectedly instead. He's able to put behind the stabbing pain to his side, as a pain more unbearable swelled tightly in his chest. It’s difficult to breathe as he struggles to rid the thought of ending his life. Eventually he pulls himself together and finds his phone again. He presses his phone to his ear and waits. Youngjae picks up on the first ring.
“I’m sorry, Youngjae ah I’m a failure and I’m so sorry. Why don’t you just give up on me? It must be so much easier than dealing with this, with me, all the fucking time. I’m sorry.”
Youngjae remains silent as Jaebum sobs unabashedly into the phone. He’s torn between going over and comforting the elder or keeping his resolve to teach him a painful but valuable lesson. As much as it hurts him to not be by the elder’s side when he needs him the most, he loves him more than his own selfish feelings. He values him more than himself.
“Hyung, you can’t keep saying sorry and expecting me to forgive you and run over to your side. Not this time.” He says firmly.
Jaebum hates how weak and desperate he’s behaving but the words are out before he realises it, “Please? I’m sorry, be mad at me another time I just need you with me now.”
Youngjae feels the tears well in his eyes but he can’t keep giving in. It’s for their relationship, he reminds himself, it’s for Jaebum but more importantly, this is for himself.
“Don’t be a such a jerk, hyung. I’m not going over, scratch that, I’m not meeting you until you finally realise what's wrong and feel that you can come to see me.”
It’s completely silent as Jaebum registers the finality in Youngjae’s tone. He’s really messed up this time.
“But what if I can’t stop Youngjae ah? Does this mean you’ll never want to see me again?” Jaebum’s voice barely comes out as a whisper as his fingernails leave deep imprinted marks on his palm.
“Yes…”
It’s faint but it leaves Jaebum’s throat and heart scorching.