Archive of Our Own

Everything starts the day Thomas had decided to plop down next to Augustus on his bed. His perfectly fine, slept in, twin-sized bed just a couple of steps away.

Augustus' stare strays from his doomscrolling on twitter, and occassionally ragebaiting Saparata, to Thomas who was laying like a starfish next to him, with his hands spread open like they had the space of a newly renovated New York penthouse.

But alas, Augustus' bed, like Thomas', is only as wide as a twin-sized bed could get. So one of his arms is handing down towards the floor and the other one propped up over Augustus' lower back.

"Man, I'm hungry." Thomas comments, eyes staring at the ceiling of their shared dorm room. The posters beside Augustus' bed peeling at the corners. He makes a mental note to ask if Thomas has any scotch tape left to spare.

"Mhm." He hums. Eyes going back to his phone screen to continue his scroll.

"Let's go eat." Thomas turns, fixes his brown eyes on him and brings his head closer. Peering over the screen of his phone like the term privacy doesn't exist in his book.

"We're broke Thomas." He says, liking a tweet that made him laugh. Not a full blown laugh, just that quick exhale through the nostril, before he scrolls some more.

"Yeah?" Thomas moves back to stare at the ceiling again. "But I'm so tired of instant noodles man. We've been like, eating those for god-knows how long now."

Augustus rolls his eyes but a small smile plays on his lips. "Uh-huh. Whose fault is it that our bank accounts are now down on the trenches?"

"Hey! In my defense, that new fountain pen just screamed my name you know. It was literally made for me." Thomas pokes a finger on his shoulder making him laugh. "And besides, you don't have the rights to criticize me. Not when you have all this junk."

The brown-haired guy grabs one of Augustus' many stuffed toys and squishes its cheeks. "Hey! Careful you're going to hurt their feelings." He says as he placed his phone down and grabs the toy away from Thomas' grasp.

They got silent after that, just staring at each other before laughing out loud.

Ever since they became roommates in their first year, they had been inseperable. Thomas has been orbiting Augustus like a satellite, never once going more than a few feet away from him--except when they don't have classes together.

Augustus likes to think that he doesn't find it endearing. Not one bit.

When their laughter died, Thomas was back to whining how hungry he was and that how he had missed the taste of quote-unquote real food.

Everything wouldn't have happened if Augustus wasn't a weak man. It wouldn't have happened if Thomas doesn't know how to push Augustus' buttons to get what he want. And it wouldn't have happened if Augustus wasn't weak for those warm brown eyes.

But he is, and Thomas is smiling widely when Augustus sighs and relents. The guy was immediately out of his bed and into their shared cabinet grabbing both their jackets from the hangers.

It was his turn to pay for their dinner this time. Augustus opens his mobile banking app and winces at the pitiful numbers but when he sees Thomas standing near their door, smile wide and eyes shining, he reckons he could just pick up additional shifts at the convenience store.

"There's this new diner down the block, we should try and go there." Augustus remarks as he puts on his jacket, Thomas closing their room door and checking if its locked by turning the knob two times.

"Do you think they have pork cutlets?" Thomas asks, walking next to him. Pulling at the bandana on his neck. Augustus just shrugs and they continued their trek towards the diner.

All the way there, Thomas was talking his head off about his day and Augustus either nods at him or gives one sentence comments about the absurd way Magic has tried to ask for an extension on their creative writing assignment.

"I swear she was ready to drop to her knees and beg the Professor to give her an extension. Everyone was staring." There was a small smile playing on Thomas' lips, pulling at the door handle of the diner and waiting for Augustus to walk in next to him.

"I mean, it's Magic. Are we even suprised at this point?" He comments, not unkindly. Thomas just chuckles before they fell next to each other and looked up at the screen above the cashier scanning their eyes on their menu.

The diner was how Augustus had imagined it to be. White and red linoleum-tiled floor, cushioned seats, and booths next to the windows. Some popular pop song playing softly through the speakers. Despite the tacky and somewhat an in-your-face interior design, it was quaint.

Augustus lists it in his head as one of the places they could visit again.

"Oh! There's pork cutlets!" Thomas grabs his shoulders and shakes him slightly. Augustus looks at the price and grimaces. It was a little bit over his budget. Maybe they could share, but Augustus was eyeing their cheeseburger as well.

When he looks up at Thomas, the thoughts of him having his cheeseburger flings out of the window. Augustus is a weak, weak, man and Thomas knows how to push his buttons. He sighs.

Pork cutlets it is.

"Fine." He says exaperatedly. Hands reaching for the bandana in Thomas' neck and straightening it. The point of the fabric pointing straight down the middle of his torso.

"Yey!"

Not cute. He is not cute, stop it.

"Uh…" The cashier was staring at them with a small but kind smile on her face. "Since we just opened, we have a discount for couples."

Augustus blinks, he can feel Thomas stiffen next to him as well.

A couple. Do they appear like a couple in front of people who doesn't know them? Do they look like they like each other like that?

Before Augustus could say something, Thomas hand snakes down his arm and he links their fingers together. His eyes widens a little before he turns his head and glares at his roommate. There was this mischievous glint in his warm eyes and his smile has turned into a grin.

An expression Augustus knows so well. One that means Thomas is up to no good.

Good god, please help me.

"Really?! That sounds great!" His voice was overly cheery. And if Augustus wasn't taken aback by everything that is happening, he would've commented on it and laughed at Thomas' face. "How much is the discount?"

The cashier blinks, like she had been lost in her thought and Thomas' question had shook her from her reverie. Augustus still can't trust his voice to do this. His brain was starting to short circuit.

"Uh, for main meals its thirty percent. And for combo meals its half." She explains, pointing towards one screen and then to the next. "The drinks are also auto upgraded to large sized ones."

Augustus swallows the lump that had formed in his throat. If they can pull this off, he was for sure going to afford buying both Thomas' pork cutlets and his cheesburger. But some part of him is starting to feel guilty that they would be lying to this nice lady that's still smiling at the two of them kindly.

Thomas' fingers clenches around his, looking at him pleadingly, complete with softly blinking his eyes at him. His eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks and oh dear god.

Augustus is a weak, weak, man.

"We'll take uh…" Augustus swallows, the giddiness of a full meal making Thomas basically vibrate next to him. "One pork cutlet and one cheesburger combo." He takes his card out of his wallet, which is a hard thing to do when Thomas has practically super glued their hands together, and paid for their discounted meal.

"The meal will be served to you once its prepared. Thank you for dining with us!" The kind lady was still smiling at them until Augustus and Thomas finally sat down on one of their booths. With their hands still clasped together, they'd had this habit of sitting together instead of sitting across from each other. Saparata had commented on it one time which Augustus just gave him his middle finger.

Thomas reached for Augustus' phone on top of the table and unlocked it, he immediately opened one of the games he had installed and began to busy himself with it. Augustus should have cared more about his privacy, his personal space, but living with Thomas had made him be used to this.

He likes his personal space, but it seems like Thomas doesn't even know what personal space means.

"We really shouldn't be doing this." Augustus says beneath his breath, body slumping into the headrest of the couch they were sat on. Thomas hummed, fingers playing a beat on the back of his hand.

"It's not like we lied." Thomas answers, concentrated on eliminating rows of blocks and cheering when he successfully clears the board. "We just…didn't tell her the truth."

"You and your technicalities." Augustus bites back, endeared. He sits up straight and presses close to Thomas' side, looking down on his phone and commenting sometimes where to place the blocks on the board. Thomas listens, of course he does, and he doesn't get annoyed when Augustus purposefully make him place a piece in a bad position.

Augustus and Thomas was alternately placing blocks on the screen while talking about the absurd situationship two of their friends had found themselves in when the cashier girl from earlier placed a tray of their food on the table in front of them. Augustus blinks at her, curious as to why it was the cashier who broguht them their food but was essentially distracted by Thomas almost squealing in delight at the sight of real food after almost eating just junk foods for like a month.

"Thank you!" He happily exclaimes and immediately lets go of Augustus' hand just to grab his utensils and start to cut the pork cutlet in half.

Augustus' gaze darts from Thomas to the cashier girl who was still smiling down at them before he opens his mouth to say thanks as well. The girl just beams down at him and then goes back to her post. Augustus shakes his head and goes to carefully cut his burger in half as well.

It's one of their strange traditions, an unspoken rule, that whatever food they have they share. This has earned a couple of jabs from their friends (fucking Saparata) but they always argue back that is was much practical to do it this way.

They get two different meals and then share half of those with each other. Two dishes, for less money.

"Well are you glad you played along with me earlier?" Thomas teases, nudging his part of the pork cutlet closer to where Augustus is. "I knew you wanted that cheeseburger."

"Yeah, yeah." He just rolls his eyes earning him a small laugh as he picks up some fries and drops them on top of the rice on Thomas' plate.

"Thank you for the meal." Thomas looks at him, eyes crinkling at the corners as he beams at Augustus. It made his breath hitch so he just shrugs.

That night, he lays down his bed, Thomas softly snoring on his own, and Augusuts weirdly feels full and warm.

Augustus would've loved to say that that was the last time they'd conned their way into getting a discount. But no, Thomas had another one of his absurd ideas when, once again, a week after the first incident, he plops down on Augustus' bed and waves his phone in front of him.

"Look! Stella sent me this."

Augustus looks down at the phone in Thomas' hand and almost cringes when he saw the overly, in-your-face promotional post of one of the ice cream parlors their friend group frequented. The pink and red and white hearts making Augustus' stomach swim.

"I want ice cream. Its my treat this time." Thomas says as he pulls back his phone towards himself as his fingers fly across the screen, probably texting Stella back and thanking her.

"Well, I don't." And before Augustus could even blink, he knew what was going to happen next. Thomas would tug at the hem of his shirt and flash that fucking pleading look at him. He really should stop getting swayed by this conman.

"I know you do. Come on. Even the bus fare would be on me!" He bounced on Augustus' bed and stood up, offering a hand to help him stand up from his chair. Augustust eyes the hand offered to him in distrust. Thomas doesn't get paid until next week so why is he already offering to pay for their bus fare when they had been walking everywhere they wanted to go to cause surprise surprise they're still broke.

But he relents and takes Thomas' hands in his and lets himself be dragged outside their room.

He really should listen to his gut once in a while. And he really should stop being a weak, weak man.

Augustus stares at the outside of the ice cream parlor and almost walks back to their dorms if it wasn't for Thomas' arm around his shoulders. He starts to shake his head as Thomas guides them inside the door, the pink and red decorations making Augustus' head spin.

He should've know when Thomas showed him the promotional picture earlier. He should've know when Thomas offered to pay for the bus fare. He should've known when Thomas smiled at him sweetly like that.

"Thomas." Augustus whisper-shouts as they neared the back of the line. "Thomas." He repeats again but Thomas has that crooked smile on his face and Augustus goes weak in the knees. He eyes the couple in front of them, outwardly doing PDA. Augustus blanches, he's really knee deep in this shit now.

"Are we really doing this again?" He asks, voice trembling.

Thomas looks down at him, concern evident on his face. His earlier grin replaced with a worried frown. He must've mistaken Augustus trembling voice for fear. If Thomas would've asked what it meant, Augustus would've straight up lied.

He would never say that going around and pretending to be a couple with Thomas is kinda exhilirating. Not out loud at least.

"We can just order normally if you really don't want to." Thomas says, tilting his head down at Augustus. And fuck how can he even say no?

How dare he even think of saying no when Thomas looks at him like this.

"Can I take your order?" The guy at the register was maybe a couple of years older than the two of them. There was a heart pin next to his name plate.

Augustus looks up at Thomas and decides to cut him off before he even had the chance to speak.

"Can we have the hearts special." He could feel the back of his neck heat up. Thomas looks down at him and then grins. "Please."

The man eyes them before shrugging and pressing their order into the system. Thomas offers his card and his name before steering Augustus towards a small circular table with two high chairs, his arm still slung over his shoulders like it belongs there.

"I know you would come around." Thomas nudges him with his hips.

Augustus shrugs his arm off playfully and jumped up into the chair, Thomas dragging the other one closer to his. "It saves us money. And besides," he takes his phone out of his pocket unlocks the camera. He places it in front of himself and Thomas, who was already giving the camera a peace sign, before clicking on the shutter.

"That flan inclusion looks super good." He shrugs and opens his messages, goes into his conversation with Saps and sends the picture.

You should bring Flux here.

Saparata replies to him seconds later with only a middle finger emoji. He lets out a chuckle and shows Thomas his screen.

They didn't stop there.

It had become a habit of theirs to scroll through social media and share it with each other when they find some place that offers "couple discounts". Especially when it's this close to February already, where establishments get swept with the valentines fever and offers special, sometimes free things, discounts for people in a relationship.

Technically, Augustus and Thomas are in a relationship. One that is not romantic in nature but a relationship nonetheless. And besides, all those discounts they've gotten has made Augustus' bank account happy.

And hey, he might be able to buy Thomas that new stationary set that he has been eyeing for months now. His birthday is fast approaching as well so its a win-win situation.

He and Thomas gets to eat real food from time to time, and Augustus' wallet isn't in the trenches. All's well that end's well.

He spies Thomas and some of their friends perched on one of the cafeteria tables and immediately walks towards them. As soon as he was near, Magic immediately moves over and lets himself sit next to Thomas. Saparata grins at him and Augustus just rolls his eyes.

One day he's going to snap and stab Saparata in the eyes if he continues teasing him when he so much as breathe near Thomas. He's luck Fluixon isn't here or he's in a hell of subtle teasing from Augustus.

"Do you know what you're ordering, Augustus?" Stella asks, smiling sweetly at him as she cleans up her notes into her bag.

"We're going to order meal set b and set c." Thomas answers for him as she stands up with the others who hadn't ordered their food yet.

"We he says. Like they're the same person." Saps laughs beneath his breath picking up a garlic bread from his plate, Augustus' shoes finds his shin beneath the table.

"I mean, it's them. Are we even suprised?" Magic gestures towards them with a wave of her hand. Thomas blinks at her innocently while Augustus doesn't answer and just got his phone out, opening social media and posting the picture he and Thomas took last night when they went to that sushi place.

This is another one of their newly found routines as well. Taking pictures, whether its together or of each other. Everytime they go out and does their little save money operation, they had to take a picture of them in that place. Like a small trophy of their crime. The reactions from their friends were surprised at first seeing as Augustus doesn't post much and Thomas' profile is mostly full of meme reposts, or pictures of sceneries and rarely a picture of himself.

Thomas was the first to like it, also going as far as to share it on his own feed. Followed by Saparata who left a teasing heart emoji on the comments. He glances up at Saparata accross from him and glares. The pale guy just raises his hands in mock surrender with a shit-eating grin on his face. Augustus taps on the reply button and leaves him a heart as well, the purple-colored one.

Saparata chokes on his drink in perfect time as the rest of their group, Magic, Stella, and Thomas, comes back from ordering food.

"Saps are you okay?" Magic asks, placing her tray down and going over to where Saparata was sitting and rubbing his back. Stella and Thomas takes their seats, Thomas wordlessly pushing meal set c in front of Augustus--a hamburger set while Thomas got the ramen meal.

"I'm fine." He answers, voice scratchy. He give Augustus a heatless glare before waving Magic back to her seat.

Augustus was already slicing the hamburger steak in half and pushing it aside for Thomas once he finishes eating his share of the ramen. When he looks up from his plate, he catches Stella's eyes who was staring at him with a knowing smile on her lips.

Augustus raises his eyebrows in question but the woman just giggles and started to stab at her pasta. He blinks in confusion and looks up at Thomas.

He found him already slurping the noddles down with a satisfied smile on his face and Augustus feels something tug inside him. His lips pulled to a smal smile as he mixes his rice with a little bit of meat and a little bit of the gravy before eating.

Maybe it's because he and Thomas had been eating good lately, or maybe it was something else, but he definitely felt a bit more at ease that he had been half a year ago.

A warmth fizzing inside his body, making his stomach squirm. But not the weird type, the tingly type. Butteflies on his stomach?

He's not too sure.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asks, clueless about the way a piece of spring onion clings next to his lips. Like he had been born to do it, Augustus reaches out and swipes it away from his cheeks, wiping it away on his jeans. Thomas' smile seems to grow wider.

"I'm fine."

Across the table Saparata pretends to gag and Stella elbows him on the side. Magic just laughs.

Augustus doesn't notice, doesn't register whatever it is that is happening around him. All he could ever focus on was the way Thomas' eyes shines beneath the soft sunlight that permeates through the windows of the cafeteria.

It's mesmerizing.

There was an unsubtle cough from someone, Augusutus doesn't recognize who, that breaks whatever magnet it was that held their gazes together. Thomas goes back to eating his half of the ramen, Augustus goes back to eating his hamburger steak.

As if nothing had happened. As if Augustus' pulse wasn't racing beneath his skin. Is he going to be sick?

"Unbelievable." Saparata says.

Augustus doesn't even warrant it a response.

Another thing that changed the past couple of months has been the distance.

Sure Thomas had always been inside Augustus' personal bubble but these days they've been a lot closer than ever before. The smell of detergent flares up in the air as Thomas enters their room, having just drop off their laundry at the laundry room downstairs.

"Bro, you would never believe who I ran into at the laundry room today." He says, dropping the basket that contained their detergent and fabric conditioner near the door. Augustus wants to tell him to put it away properly but he missed the timing and Thomas was alreary plopping himself into his bed.

"Is it Flux?" Augustus asks, fingers drumming abeat above his stomach. It was humid, suprisingly, and Augustus was feeling too lazy to open the window near his bed. Thomas props himself up and opened it for him anyway.

"No, it's that rich guy. Mike?" He says, peering outside the window and looking over the scenery outside before adjusting his position next to Augustus. They were both looking up at the ceiling. Augustus counts dount the seconds before the wash cycle of their washing machine is up and he has to go down and get their laundry.

"Yeah? What about him?" He asks, lethargic.

"Nothing." Thomas answers after a beat. "It's just weird to see the likes of him in a broke place like the laundry room in our dorm, you know?"

Augustus' glances at him sideways, Thomas kept his gaze straight into the ceiling.

"Like he doesn't belong?"

"Yeah."

Augustus hums and goes back to staring up at the ceiling. Someone, somewhere outside, laughs and Augustus feels like this corner of the world only exists solely for them. The open window above their beds the only permission they have to let the sounds of life outside in. He closes his eyes, feeling a little bit sleepy from how slow his day has been.

"Oh." Thomas exclaims, moving a little bit closer to Augustus. He hums, a force pulls at him to curl a little bit closer to Thomas' warmth. "You remember the cafe Magic and Stella bought the croissants in? There's some kind of a promotion going on. Do you wanna go?"

Augustus doesn't answer. The posts, the proximity, the lingering touches. How long are they going to keep this up? How long can he keep it up until he can no longer deny that whatever relationship they had before had greatly changed?

"Augustus?" Thomas calls when he still doesn't answer. He can feel his gaze directed at him now. Feels the way it ghosts over his skin like the lightest of touches. It makes his pulse race, makes him hear his own heartbeat in his ears.

This is going into a territory that neither of them can back away from. Augustus continues to keep his eyes closed.

"You need to get our laundry from downstairs remember?" Something about the way Thomas says those words feels fond. Augustus can picture the small smile and the crinkles at the corners of Thomas' brown eyes.

He still doesn't move. Doesn't have it in him to break the moment. As if it was sacred.

As if lying in a twin-sized bed with your roommate-slash-best friend on a lazy Sunday afternoon is something holy. Like if he just pretends he's asleep, he can just keep on pretending that the fine line that they've been dancing around on doesn't exist.

Augustus slows his breath, pretends to sleep, and Thomas lets him.

He moves a couple inches closer, and Augustus thinks that all is right with the world.

"Hey Augustus!" Stella waves at him, a huge smile on her face.

Augustus slows down his steps waiting for her to catch up to him. They walk side-by-side towards their shared class. Augustus is fine with Stella, though sometimes her sunny disposition feels way too much for someone as introverted as him.

Thomas feels like the sun as well so why is he fine with him?

But Stella had introduced him to the manager of the convenience store they both work at and for that he is forever grateful. She was the type of person to skip her steps, coo at every single cat they encounter at the campus, take pictures of flowers she finds beautiful.

A complete opposite of how he is. Its a wonder really how they had became friends.

It's because she's friends with Thomas.

Oh, right. Most of the people he knew is because of Thomas. If it wasn't for him, Augustus wouldn't even have people he could call a friend. It was because of Thomas that the rest of their friendgroup had opened up a space for him, offered a seat at their table he could sit down on.

Augustus feels the corner of his lips curve.

"Ooh. Someone's in a good mood." Stella says, tilting her head at him.

Augustus feels his face heat up so he just looks away from her gaze. Stella giggles beside him and doesn't comment further. They continued to walk towards their class and when they got there Stella took the seat next to his. She waves at some of their classmates and greets them good morning, Augustus just stayed silent and plops his bag at the table.

"Oh, that's right!" She exclaims, grabbing her notebook and placing it next to his bag. "What are we doing for Thomas' birthday?"

Augustus casts his gaze at her and blinks.

"Everyone wanted to get together and celebrate. I mean its been a long time since we all went out together."

Augustus wanted to say that that was not true. Last week, they had just went to a restaurant to celebrate her birthday. Thomas and Magic had planned it and because he was Thomas' roommate, he had helped as well. The celebration wasn't something to write home about but seeing how Stella had loved it, he could say it was a success.

"Oh! But if you already had something planned we could totally just postpone the celebration with everyone." There was a knowing smile on her lips. Augustus blinks in confusion once again. I mean, sure, he already bought that stationary set he wanted to give to him, wrapped it up in fancy paper and everything. But he doesn't have anything planned.

Maybe go out to dinner, like they usually do, and then when they come back to their room, he could just fish the gift out of the cabinet he tucked it away in and give it to Thomas. Maybe tell him happy birthday, or even sing his own rendition of a happy birthday song.

"I don't have anything planned actually." He shrugs and Stella's eyebrows furrow a little bit.

"Nothing?" She asks, Augustus shakes his head.

"Not even like a picnic date or something?"

That made Augustus flinch. A couple of people who is also in this class walked in yet Augustus didn't pay them any mind. He looks at her like he had grown a second head. "A…date?"

Stella nods. "I mean, if you two are dating then wouldn't it be great if you two could spend each other's birthday together? Just the two of you?" She said it like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Which is not by the way cause Augustus and Thomas is definitely not dating.

"Huh?" Was all that escaped his mouth because of how incredulous this conversation had been from the start.

"The others we're definitely bummed that you guys didn't tell us. I mean, Magic and me, but that's beside the point." She opens up her notes and looks at their Professor who had just come in the classroom. Augustus feels his brain go haywire. "I still think you need to take him out to a fancy dinner or something. It would make him happy, I'm sure." She whispered before her focus was pulled towards the front where their Professor started the lecture.

Augustus still sat there feeling like he had been on a roller coaster ride and that his brain still hadn't caught up with how fast it was going. He couldn't process anything clearly. Couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Stella thought he's dating Thomas.

Dating. Thomas.

Well, they have been going out a lot lately but it was only to get discounts from establishments that offered it. And it's not like they were going there and telling people that they were dating or anything. They look at Augustus and Thomas and assume that they are.

Technically, it's not their fault that the employees assume that they are dating.

Right? Right?

Wait, does that mean that they look like they are? I mean, sure at first Thomas was too on the nose with the hand holding or placing his arms around Augustus' shoulders but it was normal for them. It was already what they'd been doing even before they started like actively hunting which restaurant offered a couple's discount on social media.

Those gestures are natural for the two of them already. Hell, they even live together so it's not even a reach that they are super close.

Maybe they've been too close lately but that's beside the point!

Augustus feels himself spiral, overthinking the little interactions he's had with their friends lately. Was that why Saparata had upped his ragebaiting and was constantly on commenting on his posts with Thomas lately? Saparata's just like that. He's a little shit.

Well there was this one time Magic had sent him a link to a restaurant, but Augustus had thought that was just Magic trying to tell him where they were eating that weekend. Or that that text was a wrongly sent to him. And besides when they did go to the place, it was with everyone.

There was also an issue with Flux that had Augustus overthinking all night where he suddenly said congratulations while he and Thomas was studying in the library. Thomas had said thanks so Augustus had thought that something had happened between the two of them. He hadn't given it any thought at the time but it had kept him from sleeping that night wondering what had made Flux congratulate Thomas.

Was all of those because they had thought the two of them were dating? Oh dear god, he's going to puke.

The line that he had carefully not dare cross was blurred already, and the realization that their friends had thought there wasn't even a line at all was making him dizzy. Augustus needs to go.

Stella worriedly looks at him and notices how pale he's gotten and immediately she's offering him a reprieve by placing a hand behind his back. "Are you okay?"

Augustus feels the bile at the back of his throat rising. He shakes his head. His hands were shaking, the reality of what his relationship with Thomas is blurring right in front of his eyes.

Oh god what had he done?

He stands up and the gazes of everyone inside the room hones in at him. He feels like his skin would start peeling from his body any moment now.

"Uhm, he's not feeling well." Stella speaks up beside him. And before the Professor could even dismiss him or say anything to him Augustus was already running away.

The air on his skin feels like tiny paper cuts, etching lines on his body as he made his way to the only place he feels safe in.

Thomas comes in to a dark room. He had been held up by some of his group mates about the paper they were supposed to work on for next week. They'd ended up writing a draft and outlining what each of the members needed to do and Thomas didn't realize how late it has gotten.

He almost jumped out of shock as soon as he opened the lights and found August curled up on his bed, his blanket tossed over his head, and hugging his knees beneath his chin tightly.

"Jesus, what happened?" He gently says as he drops his bag on his own bed and sits at the edge of Augustus'. He reached out to tug at the blanket but Augustus just curls in himself more and Thomas immediately puts his hands up. It feels like he was calming down a cornered prey, or in this case, calming down Augustus who was clearly in the verge of a shutdown.

"Okay." He says, tone still gentle. And it makes Augustus chest ache. "You don't have to say anything, okay? But I'm going to ask you some questions." Thomas scoots a little bit closer, Augustus wishes he could feel his warmth a little bit more.

"You don't have to answer." Thomas gives him a small smile. Augustus just pulls the blanket closer.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Augustus shakes his head.

"Do you want to eat?"

He doesn't give an answer, and Thomas sighs but not unkindly. Augustus feels like he doesn't deserve this kindness. Doesn't deserve being friends with Thomas let alone date him. God, does he know their friends think they're dating?

Does he care? He's probably going to be disgusted when he finds out. Augustus would probably run away by then, he won't be able to take it if Thomas was to ever look at him with disgust in his eyes. He should've stopped them before it got to this point. Who needs money anyway? They should've just stayed broke. Stayed eating packets of noodles every day until one of them gets sick or something.

But he can't do that. he can't let Thomas get sick.

What had they gotten themselves into?

"Is it okay if I close the window?" Thomas asks. Augustus looks like he was lost in this thoughts. Eyes glazed over and looking straight through him. He's always done this whenever he gets overwhelmed. The first time they roomed together, Augustus had kept him at a distance, only staying inside their room just to sleep or when Thomas is not around.

It took him almost half a year, and a lot of patience, before Augustus even acknowledge his presence. Just like letting a cat come to you instead of trying to force and pet it. Saparata had always called Augustus a wet cat whenever they get into one of their banters, and Thomas couldn't agree more.

"Should I turn off the lights?" Still no answer. And Thomas was feeling a little bit bummed out because he had thought that these past months had made them a lot closer than they were previously. That he had finally stepped over the walls Augustus had built around himself.

"Should I leave?" He tries. Maybe giving his roommate some space to process whatever his pretty little head was overthinking about would be the solution. Augustus was the type of person to try and solve things on his own and if Thomas was making it difficult for him to do just that then maybe he can try and create a little bit of breathing room for Augustus.

But Augustus had reached out and grabbed hold of his sleeve, knuckles white. Thomas looks down at his fingers and then back at Augustus who was still not meeting his eyes. He smile exasperatedly.

"Okay." He breathes. "I'm not going anywhere."

The room fell into a silence. The only sound coming from outside the window Augustus had kept open. The smell of spring air and its chill wafting inside their room but Thomas didn't move a single muscle. Staying rooted at his spot near the edge of Augustus' bed. Afraid that if he did move, even the tiniest of movements, Augustus would let him go.

They stayed like that for an hour, maybe less. Thomas wasn't too sure. He distracted himself by glancing all over their shared room. The familiar four corners he had called home for the last two years. Augustus' stuff toy collection that had started to grow ever since they had been going out to eat and had been getting those discounts. The dozens and dozens of pens on his study table, held up by an acrylic stand that Magic and Stella got him for his birthday last year. The stacks of books and papers on each of their study tables, his looking a lot neater and stacked nicely than Augustus'.

They had made the space work, made the room theirs. Little trinkets that proved he and Augustus lives there.

"Did-did Stella say anything?"

Thomas, once again, almost jumped out of his skin when he suddenly heared Augustus' voice. It's barely above a whisper but living with him had trained his ears to catch even a soft sigh that escaped from his lips.

Wow creepy. He shook his head, feeling a little bit of heat creep up the back of his neck.

"No. I mean maybe she texted me or something." He waves his hand, moving to sit fully on Augustus' bed and crossing his legs together. "Does she know what's bothering you?"

Augustus flits his gaze at him and then nods. He breathes deeply, getting himself ready to talk. "Do you," he pauses and then breathes in again, fingers still wrapped around the sleeves of Thomas' shirt. "Do you know they think we're dating?"

The silence makes a ringing sound in Augustus' ears. He chanced to look up at Thomas and recoiled when he cannot see any emotion whatsoever in his otherwise expressive face.

He's really fucked up this time. He should've just pretended it was nothing. That Stella hadn't thought that they were dating. That Magic hadn't been upset when she thought they didn't tell them they were dating--even though they weren't. That their friends didn't think they're dating!

He should've kept it to himself. Try and just push down whatever it was the makes him feel giddy everytime Thomas so much as glanced his way. Try and just pretend to continue whatever push and pull it is that is happening between them.

He wants to laugh, he had been teasing Saparata about whatever dance it is that him and Fluixon is doing and now its him that is in that situation. Turns out he was just projecting.

Was he in love with Thomas then? Augusutus doesn't know. But if being in love with him answers all that has been happening between them, all the touches, the subtle glance, the longing he feels deep down inside him when he thinks about Thomas then maybe.

Maybe he is in love.

But all those things, even the longing, had been there ever since the first time he walked in his dorm room and found Thomas hanging up posters on his side of the wall--a roll of scotch tape between his teeth and one hand holding up a Pierce the Veil poster.

Oh.

Oh.

Good god, he had been in love with Thomas the first time he laid eyes on him.

It all makes sense now. It's been there all the time and Augustus was just chucking it off to something like how you feel towards a friend. Because Thomas has been his first friend, he hadn't known how to navigate friendships at first.

But now that he had Saparata, and Stella, and Magic, and yeah, even Fluixon, he knows that feeling like your heart would leap out of your chest whenever said friend would hold your hand means that its not just friendship you feel for them.

In his own way, Augustus had been loving Thomas this whole time.

His first friend. And his first love.

The next question comes to why? Why Thomas? Was it because he was cute? No, not that. If it had been looks then he would've felt something like butterflies in his stomach when he sees someone conventionally attractive. Then was is becuase they're roommates? Maybe. But being roommates had only made Augustus want more to get closer to Thomas.

Whether he liked it or not, the first time they met Augustus had already, subconsciously, wanted to be closer. And he was afraid of that want. That was why he had been avoiding him the first few months.

But Thomas was gravity and Augustus could only do so much. He was a weak man.

The only explaination he can come up with is he loves him because just does.

Because it's Thomas.

Admitting all of this to himself has made him feel like a weight have been lifted off his shoulders. Like the pinpricks that were running up and down his skin earlier had vanished, replaced by the feel of his blood rushing through his veins.

"Dating?" Thomas asks, voice low, shaking Augustus up from his own jumbled thoughts. Thomas looks at him and smiles wrily before looking away. "Do you hate it that much? The idea of dating me?"

Augustus blinks. What the fuck was this guy on about? He had just had an epiphany that he loved him and now he's asking if he hated the thought of dating Thomas? The guy who had such a hold on him that one look from him would make Augustus drop to his knees?

Is he joking?

"Are you joking?" He said incredulously. Moving to kneel in front of Thomas, the blanket that he had wrapped around him falling into a pile behind Augustus.

"I mean you," Thomas still won't meet his eyes. "You were like closed off and curled up and like being all depressed and shit because our friends thought you were dating me!" His lower lip juts out and Augustus had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cooing.

Fucking cute.

"I had to sort my head for a little bit." He answers, still inching closer.

"Yeah right. Like, okay fine. I might have had a hand on why our friends think that way." Thomas admits, still glaring at that same spot on Augustus' bed. "It was me who asked Stella for places to take you to. And like she must've told Magic, cause of course they tell each other everything. And they must've told Saps cause Magic tells him everything. And by the same process, that blob must've told Flux cause of course he tells Flux everything."

"But I didn't say we were dating so technically it's wasn't my fault. But we could've just stopped like going out on pretend dates and like posted pictures of us together but it's just…"

Augustus stops, just shy of his knees touching Thomas'. He waits, patiently. He had time to sort his feelings out, he should give Thomas the same amount of consideration as well.

The important thing is, Augustus knows Thomas doesn't hate him.

"It's just I wanted to spend those times with you." This time, Thomas looks up at him and flinches when he realized how close they had gotten. Augustus just tilts his head, urging him to continue. A small smile playing on his lips.

"Only with you."

Okay. Wow.

If he could spontaneously combust, Augustus would've left a charred mark on his bed right now as Thomas meets his stare with a red blush all over his face. The tips of his ears looked super red as well.

"Would dating me for real really be that bad?"

Augustus shakes his head and gently places his hands on top of Thomas' own. He could feel his heartbeat starting to race. Could feel the same heat climb up the back of his neck.

"No." He says, voice soft.

Thomas' eyes widens just a little bit before it glazed over. Looking at Augustus like he was something precious, like he was someone worthy of his warmth.

How had Augustus not noticed the way Thomas looked at him?

"I'm," Thomas swallows, turning his hands over to firmly grasp Augustus' hands in his own. Eyes locked on his own. "I'm going to ask you a question. You don't need to say anything but I need your answer."

Augustus feels the soft flutter of his heart, the way his fingers closed around Thomas' own. The way the gaps on those fingers feel like the completion of the gaps on his. The way the incessant yearning inside of him quiets whenever he was near Thomas.

Why had he not realized it sooner?

He nods. And Thomas inhales a sharp breath.

"Do you want to date me?" He asks, voice trembling along the edges. Like he had this question at the tip of his tongue and had finally spoken them out loud. "For real this time."

A smile breaks into Augustus' face and he nods, jumping up to hug Thomas who catches him with a thud readily. Arms wrapping around him like he doesn't want to let go. Their heart beats syncing as finally, finally, their dance around each other had ended and together they step beyond that blurred line they'd been skirting on the whole time they've know each other.

The spring air that wafts through the open window of their dorm room that night strangely feels warm.

"So, we're dating."

"Uh huh, what's new."

"Like officially dating. Like together together."

"What were you doing before then?"

"Shut up."

"Oh dear god, they're going to be a lot more insufferable this time around."

"Well sorry your situationship is not progressing the way you want it to."

"Hey! Fuck you."