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“Do you think Izumi-chan and Ou-sama are dating?”
Tsukasa lurches forward in his chair, narrowly avoiding spitting out his tea (thank god, he’d like to retain some semblance of dignity in front of his senior if altogether possible), and stares up at the asker with disbelief.
Arashi’s expression is mischievous, and he’s got The Look in his eye - the one he only gets when he’s heard a particularly juicy tidbit and is about to rope the nearest person into a long discussion over it. Tsukasa figures that this time, that unfortunate individual is him.
Trying to extricate himself from the situation, Tsukasa clears his throat and says sternly: “I’m not interested in gossip, Narukami-senpai.”
Arashi, however, is undeterred. “ Relax, Tsukasa-chan,” he says, and waves his hand around airily. However harmless he may look at the moment, Tsukasa is beginning to realize that he has absolutely no chance of escaping from this conversation.
He heaves out a long-suffering sigh and steels himself - maybe if he focuses on the chirping of the bird in the tree near them, he can distract himself and get it over with quickly. Arashi, seeming to know that he’s won, makes a satisfied noise and refills both their teacups.
“They totally are, aren’t they,” he continues, giggling like a schoolgirl. “I mean, Ou-sama is always all over him, and Izumi-chan looks slightly less like he’s going to murder everyone in a 10-mile radius when they’re together - and that’s really saying something, you know~”
“ Preposterous,” Tsukasa scoffs in perfect English, but his voice is slightly higher than usual. He doesn’t want to admit it, but Narukami-senpai might have a point. When’s the last time he saw one of them without the other? And Leader is always draping himself over Sena-senpai’s shoulders, who hardly ever pushes him off. It’s odd behavior, to say the least.
“Come on,” Arashi needles, but Tsukasa shakes his head.
“There’s no way,” he insists, taking a sip of his tea (which is too hot, but he needs something to occupy his hands with). “How could something like that happen without me noticing?”
Now Arashi’s giving him his Honey, please look - and Tsukasa’s not sure what he’s implying, but he doesn’t like it one bit.
“No way,” he repeats, but it comes out sounding like he’s trying to convince himself. Arashi’s grin grows wider still, and he desperately prays for some way out of this gossipy mess that he never wanted to be included in.
“They are,” a disembodied voice chimes in. Tsukasa bites back a startled cry and whips around to face the couch next to the coffee table, where a dark head of sleep-mussed hair comes into view.
“Oh, Ritsu-chan, you were here too,” Arashi greets, completely unruffled. Tsukasa wonders if there’s anything in the world that can unhinge him.
“Morning,” Ritsu replies, yawning and stretching luxuriously like a cat. He notes Tsukasa’s disgruntled expression and smirks. “...Did I scare you, Suu-chan?”
“Of course not,” Tsukasa defends, grasping at his teacup. Ritsu only hmm s thoughtfully before turns back to face Arashi.
“They are,” he says again. “And if they’re not, it’s just them being stubborn. They’re practically married already.”
“They are not married,” Tsukasa protests.
“They’re a little married,” Arashi corrects, and Ritsu nods his agreement.
“Ridiculous,” Tsukasa huffs. He refuses to believe it. There’s absolutely no way he wouldn’t have noticed if it were true. “And how do you know, anyway?”
“I don’t,” Ritsu shrugs. “It’s just intuition, I guess. If you really want to know, we should ask them ourselves.”
“We can’t do that ,” Tsukasa sputters. How could Ritsu-senpai even suggest such a thing? There was no way he could just go up to his senpais and ask them if they were dating - he would never be able to look them in the eye again. He looks at Arashi, hoping to find him equally repulsed by such an idea, but to his horror, Narukami-senpai is tapping his fingers on his chin, looking like he’s really considering it.
They’re joking, he reassures himself. There’s no way they would actually ask a question like that. He takes a deep shuddering breath and gulps his tea, which is now at a comfortable temperature. The flavor is perfect, not too bitter and wonderfully aromatic, and he feels himself begin to relax.
And then he hears footsteps and chatter, getting closer by the second. His heart drops. He prays to God that those voices, which he unfortunately recognizes, belong to people who sound extremely similar to Leader and Sena-senpai, because though he’s tried to convince himself otherwise, he has very little doubt that one of those two is going to bring the question up.
Then the voices come through the door, and his hope is dashed: in come Leader and Sena-senpai, looking - oh God, they are married. Leo has his arm slung over Izumi’s shoulder, and though Izumi still has that perpetually annoyed look on his face, it’s soft with a strange affection, and Tsukasa can feel his face getting redder. He’s not sure he could handle a direct confrontation like Ritsu-senpai and Narukami-senpai have in mind without dying internally, and so he shoots Ritsu a pleading look, but finds that the aforementioned two are looking at each other with a matching devious gleam in their eyes.
Tsukasa wants to escape, but he feels rooted to the spot, transfixed by the awful dread pooling in his stomach. Everything seems to move in slow motion, and he watches in despair as Ritsu-senpai opens his mouth.
“Secchan, Ou-sama,” he calls out, voice deceptively lazy. They turn to face Ritsu, and Tsukasa wants to scream at them to run, run and spare all of them from the impending situation, but his voice won’t quite come out.
“Are you two dating?”
Tsukasa drops his head onto the table. Waiting for their response is agonizingly slow, and the silents seconds that tick by feel like minutes.
“Hell no,” Sena-senpai scoffs, at the same time as Leader chirps “We are,” planting a big wet kiss on Izumi’s cheek.
“What the - get off me ,” Izumi hisses, shoving at Leo’s face, but the effect of his harsh words are decidedly watered down by the shade of red that his face is turning.
“Aah! You’re so red! So cute! I love you~” Leo exclaims, going in for another kiss.
“I said, get off-!” Izumi struggles, but Leo is an unstoppable combination of freakish strength and incredible stubbornness, and he’s fighting a losing battle.
“We are!” Leo repeats cheerfully, ignoring Izumi’s protests. “It’s just that my Sena is a little shy, sorry about that~”
Tsukasa only dimly registers Arashi’s excited squeal and Ritsu’s quiet laughter - he’s not quite sure he’s breathing anymore. He’d known it was coming, but now that it’s here, he’s strongly considering asking Kanzaki-senpai to kill him with his sword. What room did Akatsuki practice in again?
Are you there, God? He thinks. It’s me, Tsukasa. If you have any compassion at all, please turn me into a rock. Right now.
“I see, I see~” Ritsu hums innocently, but his smirk is beginning to look a little carnivorous. He yawns and lies down again, rolling onto his side.
“Oh no you don’t, ” Izumi growls, looking murderous (but still bright red). “You can’t just go back to sleep after asking a question like that - Hey, are you listening to me?! Wh-”
Somehow, without any of them noticing, Arashi has somehow teleported to Izumi’s side, where he’s latched onto his Leo-free arm. He’s flushed with excitement, and immediately unleashes a rapid-fire stream of questions.
“When did this happen? Who asked who? Oh my god, have you-”
“ Please shut up, ” Izumi groans, struggling to keep his emotions under control. “You guys are the absolute wor-” He cuts off into a yelp and turns a shade darker as Leo manages to worm his way into the crook of his neck, leaving a kiss there - and oh god, is that a mark he can see forming -
“ Leo, ” He exclaims, and then stops, eyes wide.
Ritsu sits up. Everyone in the room falls silent.
There’s not a single person in the school who calls him just Leo.
Leo. Not stupid king, not Tsukinaga, not even Leo-kun.
Leo.
The silence is suffocating, and Tsukasa is afraid to breathe.
“Oh my god,” Arashi whispers, looking like he might cry.
Tsukasa feels like he’s dying of embarrassment, both first and secondhand, and he sinks further down into his chair, praying for it to end soon.
“Don’t look at me like that, shitty okama - stupid king, get off - ” Izumi fends off attacks from both sides, sounding slightly hysterical. His eyes dart around, searching for some way to do damage control, and they land on Tsukasa.
Help, his gaze says. And Tsukasa wants to, he really does, but his heartbeat is wild and loud in his ears, and he feels slightly lightheaded.
“Um-” he croaks. Sena-senpai’s eyes flood with relief.
“Congratulations,” he gets out weakly, before burying his face in his hands.
Leo bursts out laughing, and Izumi lets out a defeated noise, sagging under the weight of the Knights perched on each shoulder.
“I hate you all,” he mutters.
“You love us,” Leo all but purrs, dropping a kiss on the top of his head.
“Not really,” he grumbles, but when Tsukasa looks up, he can see the thinly veiled tenderness in his gaze.
Ritsu and Arashi are both smiling, reminiscent of proud parents, and as the commotion is dying down, Tsukasa realizes that he’s genuinely happy for them. Ritsu motions for them to come over, and the three stagger like a strange Arashi-Izumi-Leo amalgamate over to the couch, where Ritsu sprawls over their laps like a sleepy cat. He raises his head one more time to look at Tsukasa.
“You too, Suu-chan,” he calls.
“Oh no, I’m fine -” he waves his his hands in front of his face, but then the other three turn expectant eyes to him too, and he sighs in defeat.
He makes his way over to the couch. Ritsu lifts his legs, and he slides in under them, leaning against Narukami-senpai’s side. The Knight-pile shifts, accommodating any stray limbs, and settles.
No matter how exhausting and bad for his heart they can be, Tsukasa’s glad to have found a unit - no, family - like them.