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To those who wish to know the “Bop-It Disaster,”
As I was there to experience this madness, I shall share this story. Please refrain from copying this moment, as those involved will haunt you from their graves and make you regret doing so.
One day, Lily Evans was gifted a Bop-It. Unfortunately, she saw no use for it, so she gave it to the Marauders. This was a mistake on her part, as it led to the four boys to sit in a circle in the dorm room, playing it.
You may wonder why it was a mistake. Let me explain, as the toy got faster and faster, the boys started to scream in what most would think fear. For if you happened to interrupt them and they mess up, you’d get smacked by pillows of DEATH! Yeah, they were dubbed that. Heck, the boys beat each other up when they screwed up. It was MADNESS, and they wouldn’t stop for ages!
Well, a week went by and they were in their dorms, playing with the Bop-It. On that day, Sirius happened to mess up. Now, it’s usually Peter who messes up and it was the first time Sirius messed up himself. Anyway, Sirius messed up, leaving the other three to grab their pillows with a wicked grin and stalk towards one babbling Sirius Black. As I had to look back to my memory of that time, the dialogue you see is what happened on that one fateful night. Word. To. Word.
“James, mate, I’m sor- Remus Lupo Lúa Lupin, don’t you DARE-”
“Did ya jus’ call me Remus Wolf Moon Lupin?! What daeva-lovin’ fuck?! A’igh’ Black, ya bloody fuckin’ asked fer a bea’en!”
“W-wait, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt m-” *SMACK* The pillow exploded with the force of what Remus used, it was GLORIOUS on how the feather went EVERYWHERE!!
“My hAIR!!!” Oh, Merlin did he screech that bit out, nearly shattered glass, that did. “thAT’S IT! THIS MEANS WAAAAAARR!!!!”
“Crap, we done fucked up. Remus! Why did you aim for the HAIR!!!”
“Ya blamin’ ME fer dis mess?! Yeh know what, I ain’ helpin’ ya against that.”
“JAMES!! REMUS!!! HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!!”
That was when Peter turned into a lump on the floor after he had four pillows smacking him, both magically and physically by one Sirius Orion Black. After the poor boy had been indisposed, Sirius turned his eyes to James and Remus. It amuses me to no end that James both squeaked and nearly pissed himself when those eyes landed on him.
10 minutes later feathers were covering the dorm. James was on the ground groaning, with feathers everywhere. I mean, there were feathers in his hair, in his mouth, down his shirt, and somehow in between his ass cheeks. Peter was still out cold with a pile of feathers and ripped pillowcases covering him. I was hiding underneath my bed, watching the intense glares between Remus and Sirius.
Sirius was the first to attack., feathers sticking out from his person in the oddest places. Remus, with feathers in his hair, making him look like a Native American, and on his clothes, waited until the pillow was about to hit him before twirling away and swinging his pillow HARD, making it explode over Sirius. Sirius dropped like a goddam rock, surrounded by the cloud of feathers as they settled on and around his body.
Panting, Remus practically collapses on his bed, relishing the ultimate smackdown he delivered unto Sirius. Lily happened to walk in at the moment when Remus decided to let out an evil villain laugh. I still have nightmares for DAYS after witnessing that laughter paired with his maniacal grin. The stuff of horror stories right there.
Anyway, Lily walked in on that horrifying moment of Evil Remus, to see our dorm covered in feathers, with James coughing up feathers, Peters foot sticking out of that mess of feathers and cloth. Sirius’s crumpled body surrounded by feathers and with so much in his hair that he kept on finding the little buggers weeks later, and a red face Remus with feathers in his hair like the next leader of a native tribe and his hair looking like a Tasmanian devil had a go at it. She walked back out mumbling to herself; I think she was telling herself that she was never there and the mess was a figment of her imagination, find someone else to talk to as Remus just accepted the devil as a friend... I’ll have to ask her one day.
In the end, the boys decided never to play it again and gave it away to some first year in Ravenclaw. The first year turned around and gave it to McGonagall to destroy it. She gave it a bonfire worthy of The Marauders a few weeks later. Some say that she played it with the staff members and someone nearly stabbed another person. I don’t know, was too afraid to ask.
Remember, do NOT repeat this fiasco otherwise you’ll have multiple aurors on your asses and quite a few professors to boot.
Sincerely the permanently scarred roommate,
Franklin Longbottom