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Leon emerged from his room in the middle of the night with unruly hair and strained eyes, dragging his feet on his way to the kitchen of his shared apartment. He grabbed the first mug out of the cabinet, plopped his ass onto the counter, and poured himself the rest of the coffee that was still sitting there from the previous morning. He looked like hell.
Hagakure hadn't gone to bed yet, as he was hunkered down at the kitchen table, knee-deep in one of his internet rabbit holes on the latest possible UFO sighting. He had been buzzing about it all week.
Leon cleared his throat, taking the time to listen to the clicks of Yasuhiro's mouse, or the hum of the air conditioning running in the back. Signs of life outside his own.
He was still trying to wake up, in some ways.
“So, uh…” Leon starts. His voice is still hoarse. It always was when he was thrown awake. He holds the mug with both hands to ground himself. “I had one of those dreams.”
Hagakure repositions himself in his chair to show Leon he is listening.
“You know… one of the ones you talk about that feel so real.” He hadn't thought through the conversation. What words he was going to say.
“You were dead.” Leon exhales, his breath heavy. “And it sucked.”
Hagakure grimaces, digging his fingers into the side of the table. It takes everything in him not to let his mind run wild. If the dream had come up in any other way, he would've let it. He'd try any ritual he could think of to shoo away the bad juju.
But it wasn't about him, this time.
Leon sets his coffee back down, barely having taken a sip, and propels himself off the counter like he can't handle being there another second.
“Forget it,” he says, and tries to slip past Hagakure, back to his room. He wasn't ready for this conversation. Not yet.
His eyes sting with the words he can't say.
Hagakure stops him. Grabs onto his wrist.
Leon doesn't fight it. He's not even trying to save face anymore.
“I'm right here.” Hiro says. There's a plea hidden in his voice. Don't leave.
He's not sure if it's enough, so he gets up from his chair, and pulls Leon into his chest, wrapping his arms around him into a tight hug.
It's not a touch they're used to.
Leon sinks into the embrace.
“I know,” Leon whispers. He knows his dream isn't some premonition. It's not like he thinks Hagakure's going to fade out of existence or actually die or anything.
And yet, the dread persists.
He buries his head in Hiro’s chest. Another new touch. The lump in his throat grows evermore as the lines blur between them.
How was he supposed to explain that it wasn't Hagakure's dream death that left him with this heavy feeling? It wasn't the trauma of feeling like he lived through it, or the gut-wrenching fear of losing a friend.
It was the realization that came after.
Leon wasn't stupid. He knew, on some level, that he had started to care about Hagakure somewhere along the way. But it was finding out just how much he cared that shook him to his core.
Everyone had a hard time with the news. But Leon was inconsolable.
The dream had ripped him out of his comfortable ignorance, and shoved these feelings in his face.
He finds the words, somehow.
“You're not just a friend to me,” Leon admits.
He's used to needing a way out.
But Hiro only hugs him tighter.
“You've never just been a friend,” Hagakure murmurs back, pulling Leon into a kiss.