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They woke to the melody of wind chimes clinking softly.
Clink, clink. The sound of sea shells and tumbled glass gently colliding in the breeze. It was backed by the staccato cries and trilling whistles of the feathered creatures that flocked the trees here. The Nomai called them 'birds'.
It was a pleasant way to wake up.
Gabbro turned from their side on to their back and stretched their arms above their head, loosening the stiffness in their shoulders. Out of habit they reached out to the right with one hand, and was contented to feel the warmth of their partner's skin.
Eventually, as the sleepy fog lifted from their mind and their eyes became less heavy, Gabbro blinked, and the room came into focus.
The dawn light had washed the ceiling boards in a soft shade of orange.
"Gabby?"
...
Their smile was automatic when that young voice whispered their name oh-so-quietly. Gabbro turned their head to peek over the edge of the bed, and large bright blue eyes met theirs.
"...Hey, little bud," their own voice came out low and gritty, still heavy with traces of sleep.
Nova, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the bed holding a wooden toy in each hand, grinned, dropped said toys, and crawled along the hand-woven rug, their cowrie shell necklace glinting in the dim light that spilled through the gaps in the curtains. Then they reached up and pulled themself onto the mattress.
"Are we still going oyster hunting?" The hatchling asked a little louder once they'd settled themself on the edge of the bed beside their parent.
Gabbro chanced a look at their partner. Reg was still asleep, their back turned to the whispering duo. It was early, after all.
Funny how things changed. Gabbro used to be a night-newt, but these days they found that they couldn't sleep in past sunrise. Maybe that was because they had so much to look forward to every day. Maybe it was a side effect of being a parent. Maybe they were just getting old...
The retired astronaut turned their attention back to their offspring.
"Yeah, we're still going," they lifted a hand to poke Nova's cheek, "But you gotta brush your teeth first."
Nova pouted and glowered, which was a rather fierce look on such a squishy creature. They got that from Reg.
"Oy, don't give me that look. You know the deal."
Nova puffed out their cheeks, then teeth-sneezed and wordlessly climbed off the bed. Gabbro watched them toddle in the direction of the wash-up corner. That would give them an extra minute to dispel the sleep from their body.
They did so by turning towards their partner and wrapping an arm around their shoulder gently. The younger barely stirred. Quite contrarily to Gabbro's evolution, Reg, who had always been the early-riser between them, struggled to wake up most mornings.
"See you later," they murmured and placed a light peck to their partner's temple. One slightly droopy ear gave the tiniest twitch.
Just as they heard gargling and over-enthusiastic expectorating at the sink, Gabbro rolled themself out of bed and stood.
They followed the same routine as always (with Nova tailing them like a mini shadow): Stretch a little, brush their teeth, drink a glass of water, and pull on one of their favourite shirts.
The last one took longer than usual, because they couldn't actually find the shirt they were looking for. They settled on a passable alternative.
Gabbro was just about to wrap up their morning ritual the way they usually did– the way they'd been doing for almost two decades– when Nova ran clean out of patience and started doing that little on-the-spot one-two tappy-tap dance that was inevitably accompanied by a warning whinge.
The retired astronaut reached out with both sun-aged hands and took their hatchling's face into their palms to calm the storm before it reached tantrum levels.
"Okay okay, I see you, little bud. Grab your net and let's mosey."
"Yes!" Nova whirled around on the spot and grabbed their net bag from a whicker basket near the door, then dashed outside as soon as Gabbro pulled it open.
"Careful down the-"
Fwump!
...
Gabbro winced as they watched their hatchling fall face-first onto the grass. The beach sand that managed to sneak it's way into the village made the wooden stairs slippery.
Nova hiccuped and gave a small whine.
"Well caught, bud," Gabbro said quickly, attempting to put to use what they'd learned from their Parent Pals about anti-catastrophizing little oopsies like these (even though their first instinct was to scoop their precious little masterpiece into their arms and shower them with booboo-be-gone nuzzles). They descended the stairs a little slower than they were actually inclined to while slinging their own net bag over their shoulder so they could crouch down beside their fallen hatchling.
Nova pushed themself to their elbows with a grimace, then glanced up at Gabbro with a wobbling lower lip. Gabbro met it with a bright smile.
"Body check time. Anything bruised or bleeding?"
Nova, brows knitted and lips pursed, got to their feet and gave themself a once over. They worried at the new grass stain on the front of their shirt for a beat before deeming it harmless and shaking their head.
"Good, good," said Gabbro, "Want a hug?"
Nova blinked at them for a long moment, then shook their head again with a determined 'nuh-uh' and retrieved their net from the ground. But they made sure to shoot the stairs one of their signature sour looks before they marched ahead.
Sighing internally, glad at how well things were going so far, Gabbro tucked their hands into their pockets and followed Nova along the path towards the dunes, breathing deep the cool air that smelled of young pines and beach shrubs and a hint of sea salt.
---
Once they'd traversed the sandy hills that flanked their little growing village, and the launch tower cliff came into view, the blue-eyed pair hung a right and walked along the beach for a good fifteen minutes, strolling unhurriedly to the sound of waves crashing and seafoam hissing and the occasional 'kaaaawrrr' or 'kee-kee' of sea fowl.
Gabbro found themself looking out over the ocean as they walked. The sun hadn't risen just yet, but they could see its warm glow on the horizon. The water looked cold, but no less inviting. They were also pleased to see that, just as they'd predicted, the tide hadn't quite ebbed yet (figuring out the tidal patterns of this planet had been one of their first assignments as resident meteorologist). That meant there was still a chance they could probably manage to harvest a decent batch of fresh shellfish before the Squawkers and Redbeaks got them all.
And Nova was showing extraordinary self-restraint, mostly keeping in step with their parent and only occasionally getting side-tracked by a promising rock pool or shell midden. At one point, they excitedly held out an unblemished feather they'd found caught in a patch of dune grass, which Gabbro stuck in the hatchling's beanie with a flourish.
Finally, they arrived at the little cove where Gabbro had found the remains of oysters in the recent past. There were already a number of birds loitering about on the rocks and wet sand, but they hadn't made off with all the spoils yet.
Adjusting their beanie slightly, Gabbro shrugged their shellfish net off their shoulder and began tying it to their belt.
"Alright, little bud. Let's see if we can round up a decent haul for dinner."
"Uh huh!" Exclaimed Nova enthusiastically where they'd crouched to inspect a sea snail that was making jagged patterns in the sand as it slithered along.
Gabbro smiled, and once they were done securing their net to their waist and rolled their sleeves past their elbows, they crouched beside their hatchling to do the same for Nova and their much smaller net.
"Remember the rules of sea foraging?" This part was absolutely necessary before they commenced their little bonding field trip.
Nova nodded.
"No going in the water without su-per-vis-ion."
"Right. And?"
"No running off by myself."
"And?"
"Watch out for jellyfishes and sea urchins."
Gabbro hummed in agreement.
"And don't put things in my mouth, even if it looks tasty." Nova added after a pause.
...They couldn't recall mentioning that one. Must have been something Reg told them.
"Yeah, that's probably all the most important stuff," Gabbro conceded. Then they pushed themself upright with an almost inaudible click of their knee caps.
"Let's catch some mollusks."
"Mollucks!" Cheered Nova.
They searched near the water's edge, while the ocean lapped gently at their heels and toes. Gabbro found this kind of activity very soothing: surrounded by the sights and sounds and smells of nature (although, depending on the tide, the latter could be a bit hit-and-miss), with t curious or excited interjections of their offspring as background noise.
Being bent over constantly while trying to locate edible specimens was torture on the spine, though.
Gabbro wasn't sure how long they foraged for, because they willingly lost track of time when they were immersed in things like this, and infact, keeping track of time wasn't their highest priority these days. It was their goal to live in the moment.
But Nova got bored once they'd half-filled their net, after which they declared that they were going to search the nearby rock pool for 'octoctoclopses'.
"Just keep two eyes on the waves and don't slip on the rocks," Gabbro called back distractedly, then continued perusing for choice morsels, discarding the ones that looked too young or whose shells had taken too much damage.
Eventually, once the fatigue in their back had gotten a bit too intense to ignore, Gabbro straightened up, groaning at the uncomfortable twinge in their lumbar spine. They placed both soggy hands there and pushed as they arched backwards to stretch those muscles out.
"I think it's time for a break, little bud," they said above the clash of the waves as they turned towards the rock pools-
...
...
And turned again towards the beach-
...
And again to look behind them-
...
...
...
"Nova?"
...
They couldn't see them.
Gabbro checked again...
Rock pool...
No
Beach...
No
"Nova?" They tried louder.
...
There was no answer.
...
It was immediate, the way their vision narrowed and they broke out in a full-body sweat and their lungs tightened and their chest burned heavy like they'd just swallowed a bucket of molten lead that seared their throat and stomach...
Nova...
"Nova?!"
They knew they shouldn't panic. Their hatchling had probably just lost track too and wondered further down the beach than they realized. It had happened before...
With trembling fingers, Gabbro untied the now heavy net from their waist as quickly as they could and dropped it with a heavy thud.
Nova
They ran towards the rock pool, checking and double-checking and triple-checking between the large barnacle-ridden stones.
"Nova?" They tried not to sound panicked or fearful, but...
Nova!
But Nova wasn't there!
Gabbro spun around and scanned the beach one more time, raising a hand to shield their eyes from the sun, squinting and cursing their degraded eyesight.
But-!
There was no sign of them on the dunes-
Nova!
"Nova?!"
No traces on the shore-
Nova!
"Nova?!"
They were beyond deferring the panic now. Their limbs were shaking and buzzing with adrenaline, their breaths rapid, their ears ringing louder even than the waves beating the sand-
...the... waves...
...
With an icy, sick dread, Gabbro turned their gaze slowly to the ocean.
...
Nova...
The tide had receded, but what of the currents? They hadn't spent much time swimming in these waters...
Waves...
...No-
Slipped
No-
Nova!
"No no no no NO!" Gabbro's legs carried them at a sprint back towards the shore. They didn't bother removing their shirt or beanie, didn't even register the cold when the water reached their calves, their hips. All they knew was that they had to-
NOVA!
Nova! They had to find Nova had to find had to find had to Nova they had to find Nova Nova Nova Nova Nova NOVA!
The air they sucked in just before they dove below the water's surface wasn't nearly enough to fill their lungs, but it was all they could manage. Their eyes stung from the salt, but they refused to close them as they tried tried tried to spot any sign of their hatchling, but even the shallows were vast, and the light only reached so far ahead of them-
The fear, the panic, the adrenalin, and their frenetic efforts combined diminished their ability to hold their breath for nearly as long as they needed, and all to soon Gabbro was forced to surface for air again.
They spun around, treading water, turning their head frantically and blinking salt from their eyes-
"Nova!"
-and gulped another lungful of air so they could dive back under.
They'd never felt this kind of fear before. It was disorienting, as if it was trying to forcibly expel their mind from their body so that instinct could take over. They were entirely numb as they kept looking amongst the shallows, diving and resurfacing, diving and resurfacing, choking down mouthfuls of water when their lungs burned for oxygen with irresistible urgency.
But they couldn't-
Lost
-couldn't just stop-
Nova
-not until-
Nova...
Not until...
Until...
They started losing strength, losing their bearings, couldn't tell up from down when they were submerged, and Gabbro realized with utter despair that if they carried on like this, they'd soon be at risk of getting swept away by the current themself. They knew exactly how treacherous the ocean could be-
...knew
They needed to get out and keep-
You knew.
Keep looking! They needed to keep looking!
Coughing, sputtering, Gabbro breached the surface and started swimming towards the beach weakly, their movements torturously slow, their vision blurry-
You knew!
-gritting their teeth, sobbing, gasping for air and choking on water...
What have you done?
They dragged themself onto the shore on all fours, coughed seawater up onto the sodden sand, and turned, body shivering with terror and exhaustion and barely suppressed sobs...
...And saw the sun shining high on the empty horizon, lighting up the ocean like countless shards of broken glass...
Nova...
You should have known better
This couldn't be happening-
Should have been watching-
It couldn't be real-
What have you done?
Nova-
What have you done?!
NovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNo-
"NOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The cry tore itself from their being of its own volition, robbing what little air they'd breathed along with any control they had left over their hemorrhaging heart.
Gabbro raised cold, dripping hands to their face to hide in shame, to wake from the nightmare, trying in vain to comfort themself, to regain their bearings, to think-
What have you done?
To shut out the Void-
How could you?
Nova!
You should have known
But they couldn't-
You knew the danger!
They couldn't.
You knew!
They should have known better. Shouldn't have taken their eyes off of their hatchling. Should have kept them close. Should have-
It's too late.
No! Please!
They're gone.
Nova!
Gone!
Please, please!
Still sobbing, seawater streaming down their face and mingling with the ceaseless tears, Gabbro stumbled to their feet with their remaining strength, swaying on the spot as their vision swam and the waterlogged sand gave way under their weight.
They couldn't stop looking. Not until...
Until they'd found-
Drowned
!!
NonononononoNONONO!
Nova was a good swimmer. They could hold their breath for twenty seconds already. They'd been so proud to show it off...
Nova
...How much time had passed?
How long does it take?
...
They took an unsteady step back towards the water-
for a hatchling to-
No!
Fresh sobs wracked their frame.
NovaNovaNovaNovaNova...
And then a desperate thought stopped them at the water's edge...
...
...What if...
What if they'd gone home?
What if they'd found something they wanted to show Reg or Feldspar or the Nomai kids, and left without saying anything in their excitement?
...
Gabbro watched themself watch the ocean as if through a dreamlike trance...
...
They should...
Fool
They should go back to the village. They'd find Nova there for sure. There was no way they could have-
Drowned.
No, they'd told Nova not to go in the water. Not to play on the rocks too close to where the waves broke. Hadn't they?
...Had they?
You fool
It was possible. It had to be.
They needed to go home.
It took so much effort to get their breathing under control, to stay their tears, but Gabbro did it. They pressed their palms to their eyes and left them there until the tears coagulated, breathed until their lungs stopped burning...
They needed to get it together. They couldn't go back to the village looking like this. It would worry everyone. Worry Reg-
What have you done?
But, yes, that had to be it. Nova had just gone home. And Gabbro was going to give them a stern talking to when they saw them...
Once their shoulders had stopped shaking so violently, Gabbro gave their surrounds another once-over and turned to leave. They could come back for the nets-
Nova!
...
But if they left now... and if Nova was actually-
Drowned.
No!
No. Nova wasn't here. They were home. Safe and sound.
And Gabbro was going to go find them.
---
All Gabbro wanted to do was run, but all they could actually manage was a brisk walk with intermittent bursts of jogging, looking out for a trail of little footprints as they did so.
But there were none.
But that didn't necessarily mean anything. If Nova had run along the shore, the waves would have washed them-
Away
Washed their footprints away...
They couldn't stop. Their muscles ached, their legs shook, and their chest and throat and eyes still burned. It didn't matter.
They slowed to a walk when they'd reached the wooden sand barriers surrounding the village, and the young pines came into view.
Nova Nova Nova Nova Nova...
They rushed past familiar faces without acknowledgement or greeting, because they couldn't waste another second. Couldn't reach their cabin quick enough...
NovaNovaNovaNovaNovaNovapleaseNovapleasebehereNovapleasepleaseplease...
Gabbro almost slipped on the stairs when they got to their porch, and had to grab the banister to keep themself upright when their muscles decided that this was the final straw and threatened to give up entirely...
Panting, they pulled themself up the stairs, and just avoided losing their footing as they reached the door. They could hear movement in the kitchenette...
Nova!
Please...
...
They pushed the door open and stepped inside.
...
Reg stood at the gas cooker, reading something on a clipboard which they held in one hand while the other stirred a sizzling pan absently. They glanced up after a moment.
"Hey, 'Bro. How was it? You two ready to-" Reg did a double take and looked Gabbro up and down, before snorting and smiling crookedly, "Why are you wet? I thought you went oyster hunting, not swimming."
...
Gabbro couldn't smile back. Even trying to speak was near impossible because their throat had closed up at the very sight of their partner.
"...Where's Nova?" they eventually rasped.
"Wha-? What do you mean 'where's Nova'? You two have been gone for at least three hours."
...no...
" 'Bro?!"
They only just heard their partner's alarmed cry over the rushing in their ears and the pain that jolted their legs as their knees hit the floorboards with an awful crack. The only thing keeping them upright was the weak hold they still had on the door frame.
But then Reg was at their side, grabbing them by the shoulders and speaking urgently.
" 'Bro, what's going on?! What happened?!"
Nova...
"Where's Nova? Gabbro, talk to me!"
What have you done?!
They couldn't-
Gabbro couldn't speak, they had zero control over their throat or lips, all they could do was place a cold hand over their mouth to muffle the agonized groan that left their throat, and shut their eyes against the painful reality they refused to accept-
"Gabbro?! Don't do this to me! Shit-!"
Reg let them go, rushed to their feet, and seconds later the sound of a radio beeping to life was just about drowned out by Gabbro's screaming thoughts-
" 'Raine! Have you seen Nova?!"
Nova...
Gabbro let go of the door frame and slumped against it as they last of their strength left them in one fell swoop, their body shaking uncontrollably...
Static.
"Mica?! Stars, please-!"
Nova...
Static.
"Hal?! Nova-! Nova's-!"
Nova!
Static.
...
...
...
What have I done?!
---
The search lasted the whole day. Some of the older ones remained in the village to mind the hatchlings and check the cabins and store houses and workshops. The rest took to searching the nearby surrounds. Moraine took the Moonlet and Arkose boarded the Nitro, and the pair of them covered the coastline from the air. Marcas and Malachite took to the dunes in their sand quads.
Everyone else searched on foot.
But it was all happening to someone else. This was what Gabbro kept telling themself.
They didn't know how they got back to the cove where they'd left their nets– one large one for Gabbro, one small one for...
They felt drunk as they watched Reg wade into the shallows, then heard them calling their hatchling's name over and over until their voice broke. They didn't even know how they ended up in the water with their partner; One moment they were on the beach, the next they were thigh-deep in the waves and holding Reg around the shoulders as the younger screamed at the horizon.
They kept searching, past sunset, into the night, combing the thickets and caves near the cliffs, doubling back to the beach and forests...
Gabbro doesn't remember speaking through any of it.
They kept searching. They would never stop searching. Because there was still hope.
There would always be hope, unless they found... until they found a...
Static.
...
...
"Reg?"
...
Gabbro watched their partner's red-rimmed eyes widen as Gneiss' voice rang over the handheld radio somberly.
"I... found them."
Nova!
...
Reg glanced up, their eyes glistening in the twilight.
...
...
...No.
And the chirrup of crickets and the crash of waves became a cacophonous noise that grew gradually louder in Gabbro's ears, muting everything beyond it.
---
As they watched their partner curl over the still body of their hatchling, wailing incoherent pleas against their pale, lacerated cheeks, Gabbro dropped to the sand and thought that there couldn't possibly be anything crueler than this.
---
It wouldn't be a stretch to say the entire village mourned. It wasn't natural to lose someone so young.
Gabbro doesn't think they'd slept once in the past seventy-two hours. How could they?
They don't remember speaking much, aside from explaining how it happened. How they'd failed...
No one blamed them. Not outwardly. But they didn't have to.
Gabbro knew it was their fault.
And even though they made no accusations, didn't ask any more questions, Reg wouldn't even look at them.
---
They were a coward. They couldn't bring themself to be present for preparing the body, and barely dragged themself to the mourning gathering.
Gabbro refused to eat, refused to sleep, couldn't speak.
It was Moraine who took the lead, expressing the village's grief at losing its youngest resident prematurely, inviting family and friends to share thoughts and memories to comfort those remaining.
And there were many, many words of love and affection. But none of them brought even an ounce of comfort. Not to Gabbro, who absolutely didn't deserve to be comforted. All they could do was grip a small cowrie shell necklace hidden in their pants pocket to ground themself so they didn't turn tail and flee.
And even though Reg was right there, holding their free hand loosely, almost as mute as Gabbro, they still refused to look them in the eye. Gabbro didn't blame them...
The songs the gathered played were half-hearted and accompanied by so many tears. The longer it went on, the less Gabbro felt they deserved to be there. Because they didn't. The didn't deserve to be there. The didn't deserve to be.
Soon, there were different hands patting them consolingly on the back, sometimes wrapping arms around them in a light hug. Esker, Gossan, Hal, Porphy, Mica, Tephra, Hornfels...
Gabbro couldn't focus their eyes enough to tell one person apart from another.
But when large bony hands squeezed the tops of their shoulders and held, Gabbro lifted their chin just enough to glimpse a familiar set of overalls.
"Don't blame yourself for this. You hear me? Don't." Slate said lowly, their voice even gruffer with old age.
...
Gabbro lowered their eyes to the ground again.
How could they possibly not blame themself?
It was their fault that Nova was gone. There was no two ways about it. There was no one else to blame. No excuse for their negligence. No way to fix this.
And no way of coming back from it.
---
They returned to their cabin with Reg in complete silence. Reg didn't hold their hand as they walked, nor did they speak.
And when the pair stepped past the threshold of their front door into a home that was far too clean and far too quiet, Reg wordlessly moved ahead of them and entered the bedroom, stepping heavily, like the walking dead-
Dead!
Gabbro watched them go, standing stationary in the darkness, before they let fatigue pull them back against the door and slid down until they were seated on the floor, their legs bent and splayed lazily in front of them. There, Gabbro pulled Nova's necklace from their pocket and studied it tiredly, turning the star-shaped pendant which too had been fashioned from the small sea shells over with their fingers slowly.
Nova...
There was no coming back from this. No way to make up for a mistake this big. No way to recover what they'd lost.
Nova.
The tears that had remained dormant at the funeral returned with full force. Gabbro clutched the necklace to their chest and hunched over themself until their head hung between their knees, and cried as quietly as possible because they didn't deserve to cry.
Nova!
What had they done? What had they done?!
Poor Nova. Poor Nova!
An ear-grating whine escaped their lips. They bit their tongue to try and stop it.
Nova Nova Nova Nova.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Nova...
They stayed right there on the floor, in the dark, and begged the nightmare to end. If only they could sleep and not wake again. If only... If only...
They must have been so scared... So alone...
...
No coming back from this. No fixing it...
It should have been you that washed up on the beach.
No forgiveness...
It should have been you.
No coming back...
It should have been you.
...
...
Gabbro stood.
---
They used to love the water. The sound of the waves. It was like listening to the planet breathing.
The tide ebbs. Exhale.
And flows. Inhale.
But the water had betrayed them. They'd trusted it blindly despite how dangerous it could be, and now the ocean had stolen a part of their soul that they could never get back.
Death. It felt like death. A part of them had died.
And now...
Gabbro's steps came to a halt, wet sand invading the space between their toes...
The tide ebbs, and flows.
Inhale. Exhale.
...
...Now the rest would follow.
There was no coming back from this. They'd killed their own hatchling. Robbed the village of its youngest member...
They'd been only a few months short of turning six...
Nova
And their partner wouldn't even look at them.
Gabbro clamped Nova's necklace in their left hand.
How long does it take a Hearthian to drown..?
Nova
...
They were about to find out.
Gabbro stepped into the water.
They felt no fear. Hadn't numbed themself first with sapwine or claw leaf before coming back. Not this time.
The only thing they allowed themself was the hope that it would be over quickly-
They must have been so scared
No. They didn't deserve it to be over quickly. They deserved to suffer, to feel exactly what their hatchling had felt-
You knew
To pay for their mistakes properly...
There was no other way to make this right.
The waves were calm when Gabbro had waded in deep enough for the water to cover their head. The steady roar of waves gave way to a deep rumble that was dampened by the weight of the ocean as it plugged their ears and pulled.
Then...
Gabbro breathed out, and allowed themself to sink until their back touched the ocean floor and sand billowed up around them.
They didn't open their eyes to watch the moonlight dance over the waves. Wouldn't allow themself that beauty or comfort. No, this needed to happen in complete darkness.
How long? How long does it take...?
How long did it take?
How long did they suffer?
How long did they struggle?
They must have been so scared.
Nova
Nova...
They counted the seconds. Then the seconds became minutes...
And then their lungs started to burn.
Gabbro clenched the necklace to their chest and fought it.
Three minutes...
And fought it...
Four...
Fought their body's natural instinct to breathe, until their nerves were on fire and their heart pounded against their ribs painfully and their head felt like it would explode and their limbs began to jerk uncontrollably and their whole frame convulsed-!
But they wouldn't allow themself another breath.
No...va...
...
They lost count as their consciousness started to fade. Against their will, Gabbro's eyes drifted open...
And they saw the light.
Beautiful... quiet... like distant wind chimes... like music...
Oh, Gabby...
I'm so sorry...
...
It wouldn't be long now...
...
'Bro.
...
...Reg?
Their body convulsed anew, and their mouth flew open as they gasped, only for their lungs to fill with water-
'Bro!
They twisted on the sand, but their limbs were too heavy to push off from the sea floor-
And then the light got brighter-
...
...
..
.
..!
Gabbro's frame jolted on a painful gasp that grated their throat and made them cough.
" 'Bro, it's okay. It's okay" said a voice softly, reassuringly, "Just breathe..."
Heart thumping wildly, chest heaving for air, Gabbro blinked until their eyes focused, until Reg's silhouette swam into view. Their partner was leaning up on one elbow, a hand settled firmly on Gabbro's shoulder...
"You were holding your breath again," Reg continued lowly, "You haven't done that in a while. Did you have a nightmare?"
...
...
Gabbro pushed themself up so they were leaning on their arms and turned their head left and right.
They were in their cabin...
...
Knuckles brushing their cheek made them flinch and swing around.
Reg looked back at them with a concerned frown.
"Are you okay?"
...
They felt dampness on their cheeks, but it wasn't cold. When their frame shuddered on their next inhale, Gabbro realized it was because they were crying. They quickly covered their eyes with a hand.
Arms wrapped around their shoulders and held. Gabbro leaned into and rode out the wave of indescribable relief until they could get control of their breathing...
It took a while, and even longer before they built up the courage to ask.
"...Where's Nova?" They asked just above a whisper.
...
Reg shuffled slightly
"I think I heard them mucking around in the living room."
...Oh stars-!
" 'Bro?"
Reg's tone was a mix of bewilderment and worry when Gabbro began crying softly all over again. But they couldn't, could never bring themself to tell their partner why...
Had they gotten lost in the Possibilities again? Had they forgotten to ground themself...?
Gabbro lifted their left hand to grasp the wooden pendant that hung from a leather strap around their neck, and thumbed the patterns along the edge. Then they moved their hand higher to trace the carefully spaced shells and knots on the necklace above it. They did the same with a third, properly grounding themself in their reality.
Their reality. Not another Gabbro's.
Eventually their shoulders stopped shaking and their breathing steadied. Then, after wiping their face, Gabbro placed a hand over Reg's arm and squeezed gratefully.
"Sorry for worrying you, buddy. Yeah, it was just... a bad dream."
...
Reg pulled back and locked gazes with them, golden eyes mellowed by time boring into theirs questioningly. Gabbro was just happy to have their partner looking at them again.
Their Reg.
"You wanna talk about it?"
...
Gabbro smiled and settled a hand on Reg's neck, tugging gently until they could rest their forehead against their Time Buddy's.
"Nah," they whispered, "It wasn't real."
Reg hummed dubiously, but didn't question further. Gabbro was grateful for that too. They couldn't possibly tell Reg about it. They hadn't even told their partner about their 'quantum dreams'. The only one who had once known about those was...
They glanced to the side at the small table next to the bed. Atop a tattered red cloth sat their quantum shard necklace, glowing eerily in the dim morning light.
...
With a sigh, Gabbro leaned back.
"I'm gonna go check on our little buddy," they said as they got off the bed, "You want your coffee to-go?"
"Nah, I'm gonna get some more sleep. Can barely keep my eyes open."
Gabbro stopped when they'd gripped the door handle, then after some deliberation, looked back over their shoulder.
"Hey, thanks for rescuing me from the nightmares again, buddy."
"Any time," Reg mumbled as they hunkered down to catch up on some more shut-eye.
...
The retired astronaut had to steel themself before they could pull the door open.
They took a deep breath.
...
The small open-plan living room was devoid of curtains, which meant the morning sun bathed the walls and floors in its brilliant warm glow.
And there, sitting quietly on a rug Chert had gifted Gabbro for Nova's first hatchhday, was their hatchling, carefully tying a knot in yet another seashell necklace.
Their hatchling. Their Nova.
Gabbro had to bite their lip and blink several times not to start bawling all over again. They stepped lightly across the small space, reveling the creak each floorboard made that reassured them that they were exactly where they belonged, until they were beside their offspring. Nova didn't look up, so engrossed were they in their task.
Gabbro sat cross-legged beside them. Despite the fact that it was likely to earn them a growl of disapproval, Gabbro reached out and laid a hand on the back of Nova's head.
"Morning, little bud."
Predictably, Nova scowled, not happy at having their concentration broken.
"Mn-mm," they grumbled back.
Gabbro watched them work a while, tiny hands threading colourful shells on hemp twine. Gabbro took the opportunity to memorize their hatchling's face, the way the light highlighted their rounded cheeks and nose, their darker scales that almost mirrored the pattern of Gabbro's own, and their blue eyes that shone like the sky on the clearest day...
The gentle silence was broken after not too long.
"Cripsy!"
That dissatisfied proclamation was followed by a growl as Nova dropped their work-in-progress in their lap and pouted.
Gabbro found it incredibly cute.
"Whatcha making their, bud?"
"A necklace for Aunty Lani," Nova drawled, "But the knots are too big apart," they lifted the article, holding both ends taut for emphasis.
Gabbro gave it a quick glance.
"Ah, I see. Easy mistake to make. You could always start over?"
Nova grumbled unintelligibly, but proceeded to tackle the last knot they'd been working on with deft little fingers.
Gabbro continued to watch them for a while longer, and found themself wondering what was the dream and what was real. It almost seemed too good to be true to be laying eyes on their hatchling again: moving, breathing...
Alive.
They fondled their necklaces once more to be sure. And, when the desire to hold Nova became too powerful to resist, Gabbro wrapped both arms around their offspring and squeezed as tightly as they could, tantrum be damned...
But, to their surprise, Nova didn't whinge or shrug or kick their feet at being interrupted. So Gabbro took the opportunity to bury their nose into their hatchling's beanie and just breathe...
...
"Can you do me a favour, Nova?" They asked after a beat.
"Uh-huh." Replied the hatchling with zero hesitation.
"Could you make me another necklace too? Or a bracelet?" Gabbro bit their lip as it threatened to wobble, "Make it really special for me. Put lots of different shells on it, okay?"
"Okay," Nova conceded graciously, "But only after I finish Aunty Lani's and GramGram's."
Gabbro smiled wetly, and sniffed.
"Deal."
---
It wasn't easy, going about the day as if everything was normal. But they didn't have much choice. No one else knew about the quantum dreams.
And, the thing was, they weren't dreams. They were other Realities. Other Possibilities. Possibilities that their entangled consciousness sometimes found itself tied up in; that they'd almost lost themself to more than once. They had no control over it. It was an involuntary risk they took every time they fell asleep.
But, of all the times their consciousness had gone wondering, of all the possibilities they'd gotten glimpses of, this last one was by far the most brutal. The most heart breaking...
They needed a chance to mourn before they could move forward.
As they sat on the dunes overlooking the ocean, watching the sun gliding below the horizon and spraying the waves in a blinding display of glittering lights like so much broken glass, Gabbro felt an uncanny heaviness settle in their chest. It felt like a profound sense of gratitude for everything that remained, and an urgent determination to cherish all of it dearly...
Because it hadn't been a dream. Somewhere out there was another Gabbro who had lost their hatchling and their will to go on...
Gabbro mourned for them both.
---
End