Work Text:
"Hey, Levi, do you have a crush on someone?" Hange asked.
Levi's mechanical pencil lead snapped at the tip. He stopped writing at her question.
"Why do you ask?"
"Just curious." Hange glanced at him, then placed both of her palm at her nape, leaning to the sofa behind her.
Levi went silent for a moment. He opened his mouth to answer, then closed it. His head turned to face Hange beside him. His face was unreadable.
"Why do you wanna know?"
Hange pouted. "I always told you about my crushes but you never told me any of yours!"
"I never asked you to tell me yours nor I am obligated to tell you mine."
Hange rolled her eyes. "Ugh, you're no fun."
Silence filled the room, leaving only the sound of a ticking clock in Levi's living room.
"No," Levi muttered.
"Huh?"
"I don't...think I have," Levi said with a brief pause, like he was thinking in the middle of saying it.
"Ha! Just as I thought!" Hange lightly slammed the table in front of her.
"What?" Levi’s eyebrow lifted
"Well, some people told me you have a crush on me."
Levi's eyes slightly widened. He turned away from her to his book, scribbling something.
Levi sighed. "Four-Eyes, we've been getting dating rumors since our first year."
"Yeah but now it's different! We've clarified that over and over and it died down eventually. Some people even say that it's me who had a one-sided crush on you since I always went to your class."
Hange's eyebrows knitted. "Now that we're in the same class, some people are saying that it's you who has a crush on me. I swear those people are just desperate to have some gossip!"
"Who said that and why would they think that?"
"I won't tell you who, but they said it was the way you look at me. They must have been misinterpreting it.”
Levi didn't answer Hange immediately.
"Just...ignore them and it'll die eventually."
"I know. Just like always."
Levi Ackerman was not interested in dating.
He had gotten some love confessions throughout his fourteen years of life, though most of them were not from someone he knew personally—not that he had many friends anyway. Even if they wanted to be friends with him first, he didn't feel like wanting to get to know them, considering they already had feelings for him. It just felt uncomfortable.
Even if Levi found someone he was into, he was sure he wouldn’t bother to pursue them into dating. It was just an unreasonable thing to do for him. He can even list three reasons to defend himself. First, puppy love relationships at this age probably won't last until adulthood—he was still a middle schooler for god's sake. Second, his mother always warned him to not fool around with girls. And third, he was content with having his family and few close friends to care for him.
In conclusion, dating equals exhaustion plus wasted time.
In Levi’s second year of middle school, almost everyone he considered his friends were dating. The fact didn't bother him at all. It's the pestering talk and public display affections that was a little irritating.
The few rare people Levi regarded as his friends were Hange Zoe, his childhood best friend, and his basketball teammates. The team consisted of Mike, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther—sometimes with the addition of their manager Petra. Oluo and Petra officially dated after a year of knowing each other. Mike had dated before he was even a middle schooler. Eld didn't have any serious relationship but he was quite close with some girls. And that left Levi, Gunther, and Hange as someone without any significant other.
As the captain of his school's basketball team, Levi was—from what he heard—popular among the students. Gunther was not as popular as his mates—at least that's what Gunther himself said. Levi never cared about popularity, but hearing Gunther whined about it most of the time when the team were together was exasperating.
Hange had never dated anyone, but she also didn't help him escape the romantic relationship conversation. She didn't always bring it up every time they met like Gunther did, but he just wanted a friend that could free him from that topic—or from witnessing the act.
Hange develops crushes easily. Unluckily—no—luckily, her crushes were always not within her reach, because the type of people she deemed attractive always grossed Levi out. They were always adults. Some of them even already past their thirties. Those people were usually their school teachers or some public figures.
No matter how hideous they look.
Hange was not one to look for charming appearance, but rather—according to her—someone with a 'brilliant' mind.
Fortunately, both of them know that it's morally wrong to be a romantic partner to an adult as a student.
Unfortunately, Hange, the lunatic that she was, still wishes that her crushes would take her seriously as she grew up, which grossed Levi out even more. He reprimanded Hange for that for god knows how many times, until the threat that he would tell her parents worked to shut her up.
Levi's classmates, throughout the first year of middle school, had started the infamous dating rumor between him and Hange. Just because she was his only close friend with the opposite sex. They also said that their dynamic was so not typical since he, the famous ‘clean freak’—god, he hated that label so much—was able to befriend an incarnation of mess that is Hange Zoe. They thought he only tolerated her because of his deeper feelings for her. In his defense, their friendship didn't happen in an instant, which not many people from their middle school know.
He found the rumor ridiculous. It was as if they had no concept of childhood friends. He was so used to seeing her and that didn’t spark anything close to romantic attraction. Not because she was unattractive, but because he had known her ever since they were infants.
Levi and Hange's parents were friends with each other before they were even born. Their house was just several steps apart. They had been attending the same school since elementary. Besides, if he ever had someone he liked, it was non-negotiable that they have to have a sense of tidiness and basic personal hygiene habits such as showering regularly, which Hange wasn't very keen on.
To summarize Hange as simply an untidy and weird person was not enough. If he had to pick a maximum of three words to describe her, that would be chaotic, nerdy, and reckless.
She talked a lot—sometimes irritatingly dramatic. Questioned everything he didn't care about. Couldn't keep stains off her clothes. Probably washed her hair every once in a week because of the frequent oily look. Her idea of fun was catching strange objects or conducting silly experiments.
Hange would touch and bring anything—alive or not—she found interesting, without any regard for the potential hazardous consequences it may have, like that one time she mindlessly let a ‘cute’ caterpillar wriggle in her arm and got rashes and bumps not long after, or when she found a ‘cool’ rock and it turned out to be a hardened dog poop.
A total opposite to Levi, who was a personification of order, caution, and above everything else, cleanliness.
He liked routines. His things were always organized. Everything that belonged to him was spotless. Antiseptics must be within his vicinity. Helping around his mother with household chores, especially cleaning, counted as his favorite activity.
Due to their contradictory characteristics, Levi could not bear being around Hange most of the time in their early years of elementary school. They were actually not very close in that period of time, as Levi actively pulled himself off her proximity to avoid being associated with Hange in school.
To Levi’s dismay, his mother loved Hange very much. She even offered to take her to his house after school until Hange’s parents came home from work. He didn’t mind The Four-Eyed Chatterbox’s presence in his house, as long as he wasn’t the one that had to handle her.
However, as much as he disliked her, he was thankful that Hange was able to lighten up his mother’s spirit after she was diagnosed with a health condition. She laughed a lot more after having Hange in her care for a few hours a day. Therefore, for his mother’s sake, he will bear to entertain Hange as long as his mother asks him.
As the time went by, Levi slowly got to know Hange.
She was actually very kind and didn’t even hold any bitterness toward him after his not-so-pleasant treatment. She never seemed to be bothered by his flat response, his biting remark every time she said something that irritated him, or his constant nagging about her lack of personal care.
Levi noticed that she was not one to put on a mask in order to fit in.
Hange was a misfit to the typical girls he observed; didn't care to polish her appearance or attitude to appear likeable to her peers. She was struggling to relate with many, but that left some people who saw her past her quirkiness. She just liked to share things that she loves—knowledge, companionship, her beloved specimens—and hoped it would bring the same joy to others.
He was quite surprised at how she genuinely laughed at his dry humor, got along really well with his mother, and was able to get the things he meant to say even though it sometimes came out as something rude—thanks to his freeloading, rude, and potty-mouthed uncle who babysat little Levi when his mother had to work on some days. She had met his uncle and understood where his attitude came from.
Hange's babble, despite the constant noise, was not always boring. Some of the unusual trivias she told were quite interesting—Levi didn’t admit it out loud of course—and moreover, she was academically very smart. Hange would ask him to do their homework and study for exams together, which he was grateful for since it had proven to improve his grade.
Eventually, they became comfortable around each other. They even looked for each other in circumstances where they were put in the same space. Like it felt alright when he found her around.
They even found some things they clicked on, such as liking the same cartoons and movies, and drinking tea. Hange couldn't play basketball before, but she was willing to be taught until they finally could play together.
Levi felt a bit apologetic for his misjudgement toward her throughout the period before he really knew her. Thus, he stood proud to be her best friend afterward, always defended her with his best action to whoever hurt or secretly badmouthed her.
The first time Levi felt conscious of Hange as a person of potential attraction was when he was invited to Hange's house.
It was the beginning of their first semester of their second year of middle school. She had wanted to show him the photos of cool science projects she found at a science fair she attended, then did their homework together afterward. He had agreed to her invitation, only if she tidied up her bedroom and took a bath before they started, which she accepted.
Hange was all excited and enthusiastic and couldn’t wait to tell him her story after she had taken a bath. Her movement caused droplets of water to land everywhere from her undried hair. It even reached Levi’s book, making the paper tainted with wet circles.
She definitely made her wet hair Levi's problem and he finally decided to take the matter into his own hands.
He forced her to sit still, scrubbed the towel to her head, blew her hair dry with her barely used hair dryer, and brushed her wild hair neatly.
Levi realized their circumstances were oddly domestic.
Their proximity turned his senses awake. It registered the feel of Hange's body. Her hair was actually pretty soft—it was just uncared for for god knows how long it was until it got several knots. The floral scent from her shampoo nearly made him want to stick his nose to her hair.
Hange leaned to his legs while chattering about her experience at the science fair, which Levi can’t focus on as he was conscious of the heat from her body emanating through the fabric. He usually hated touching people, but their contact didn't feel repulsive.
This was ridiculous.
Getting distracted just because of some rare occasion where Hange was well groomed and made some physical contact with him.
It was the stupid puberty hormones.
She was still the same freaky, gross, crazy Hange.
He liked her as a buddy. He tolerated her annoying friskiness. He spoke harshly to her to knock some sense into her head—like every time she thought of doing something reckless for the sake of ‘discovery’.
She looked up at him after he had done tying her hair into a neat ponytail, then uttered her “thanks” with her toothy smile.
Heat creeped up his neck as he was struck by her honey-colored, long-lashed, unobstructed, sharp eyes.
Oh no.
Levi definitely didn't start to have a new hobby such as ‘seeing Hange’s face’. Her unkemptness and dirty glasses didn't do it justice, but he was fine with that, since he was the only one that noticed her not-so-bad look.
He absolutely didn’t think about how he found her wide smile radiant. How a nice warmth fluttered inside his chest every time her laughter rang after he cracked his flat joke. How he would do anything for her to generate that smile and laughter.
He admitted the little attraction, but insisted that it wasn't a crush. Or love. Or whatever.
It would be a crush if you want to do lovey-dovey things with each other, which Levi didn’t need. Imagining them calling each other with pet names and other couple-ish gestures sent him a mixture of uncomfortable and strange feelings he couldn’t name. One thing for sure was he would hate being teased by his friends if he ever did that sort of thing with Hange—or anyone else, honestly.
He was content with being her closest friend. His presence was intimidating enough to repel jerks who wanted to mess with her.
It was until Hange had gotten close with the president of the student council, Erwin Smith, that Levi felt he had taken Hange’s voluntary approach to him for granted.
Levi didn't care about what kind of person Hange mingled with—as long as they were kind to her of course. The fact that Erwin was conventionally handsome, had a charismatic and eloquent way of speaking, and shared the same level of intelligence as her should not be a problem.
He just kind of missed where they would spend more time together before she joined the student council. Their interaction had gotten less and less frequent at school, even barely going to each other’s house unless it was him who initiated.
Hange was starting to act weird—well, weird for her standard—around Erwin. Seeing her acting coy around the teacher she admired was nothing unusual. Seeing the action played around her upperclassman was not.
He hated to admit that it upset him.
It just…didn’t suit her. A very reasonable reason. Laughable. Who was he to decide?
Levi guessed it was just a matter of time until she actually liked someone decent. Therefore, he tried to busy himself with other activities that don’t require Hange.
To his disappointment, that didn’t make the irritation any less subsided.
If that was her being smitten with Erwin, she didn’t talk about it with him.
Of course. That was the problem.
Levi’s speculation was confirmed when they were already in their third year of middle school.
Erwin had moved out of town and entered high school. That fact didn't make his name unmentioned from Hange's mouth.
When he confronted her about her feelings with Erwin, she didn't get defensive. Instead, she admitted that she missed him and didn't even argue when he accused her of wanting to date him. It was both upsetting to finally know the truth and strangely reassuring to know the way they ended.
Whatever this feeling was, Levi was not so sure whether he had to name or care about it.
There were more important things he should worry about, like studying hard so that he could attend the same prestigious high school as Hange and make his mother proud.
Levi’s house landline rang. His mother asked him to answer the call since she was busy with cooking their lunch.
“Hello? Is Levi there?” Hange’s voice was heard from the landline receiver.
“What’s up?”
“Hi! Are you free today at 2 p.m?”
“What is it?”
“I accidentally broke my glasses this morning so I need to go to the store. Would you go with me?”
Levi had promised his friends to play basketball at 3.30 p.m. He had no clue about how long the process was to get a pair of glasses.
“Would it take more than an hour?”
“Um…I’m not sure about that. It really depends if they have my prescription lenses available. Could be some couple of hours or even days. If I can’t get it today then I’ll just get my eyes measured, maybe trying some new frames too. It’s alright, Levi, if you can’t go I’ll just ask Nana—”
“I’ll go.”
“Awesome! See you later, Shorty!” Hange chirped, then closed the dial.
What was he thinking? No—
Why wasn’t he thinking?
Now he would have to cancel his plan with his friends and hope they won’t probe his reason for that.
When the time showed exactly 2 p.m on Levi's watch, he pressed the doorbell at Hange's house.
He could hear Hange's footsteps and the muffled sound of her saying “coming!" inside her house.
Then he heard a thud, followed by Hange's painful yelp behind the door.
Levi opened the door immediately and found Hange sitting on the floor. He rushed inside, then kneeled in front of her. "Oi, you alright?”
“Yeah, I'm fine! Just stumbled over my own shoes. They're the same color as the floor. I can't really see them,” Hange said while rubbing her knee.
“You don't wear your spare glasses?"
“I broke my spare glasses. The other one was lost at the camp last year, don't you remember?"
Right. Typical Hange. She wouldn't immediately fix something unless it finally got in her way of doing things.
Levi sighed.
“Can you stand up?”
“Of course! Let me wear my shoes first."
Levi lent his hand to help Hange stand up after she had finished wearing her shoes. Her fall didn't seem to cause anything that affected her ability to walk. He was glad she also said it only hurt for a moment.
Hange walked slower than she usually was. Levi matched her speed and paid close attention to her to keep her from falling again. She was squinting the whole time she walked and grumbled at how she can't read any signs at the road.
After a fifteen minute bus ride, they both arrived at a shopping mall in Mitras. The glasses store was on the fourth floor of the building, which required them to take the escalator.
Levi saw Hange's hesitation before stepping further on the moving stairs.
He instinctively took her hand and guided her.
He kept her hand in his along their stride to their destination, holding it firm as he was determined to make sure she didn’t stumble.
Hange firmed her grip on their joined hands.
Her action made him aware of how he still kept holding her hand and didn't even think of letting it go. The realization caused heat to bloom on his cheek.
He couldn't help but to register the warmth and softness of her hand.
Levi noticed that Hange wasn't saying anything. Like unusually quiet.
He glanced at her and found her looking at their joined hands. His heart picked up the pace. Levi turned forward again before giving Hange any chance to catch him looking.
He wanted to stay like this and not make it feel awkward, so he focused on walking and making a path for them among crowds of people.
“Levi, your palm is sweating."
Levi did feel their sweaty hands. His mind just deliberately ignored that.
Though, he still refused to look embarrassed. "That could be from your palm. You sweat a lot more than me.”
“Okay, it's our palm then," she yielded.
"You know, I can just hold on to your shirt if you're uncomfortable.”
He stopped.
Oh.
She was worried about that.
To be honest, as much as he disliked the feeling of their sweaty palms, he wouldn't mind bearing that if it meant keeping her from bumping into people or stumbling into things.
But that didn't feel like the usual Levi, so he let go of her hand.
“Alright. Suit yourself.”
The warmth of her slipped off Levi's hand, leaving a sense of tingle that made him want to stretch his fingers.
Hange tugged on the sleeve of Levi's shirt. They continued to walk quietly until they finally found the store. The “Sina Optical” sign stuck atop the entrance door.
Upon their entrance, Hange got her eyes measured and found their prescription had changed. Levi also tried to measure his eyes, only to find that his vision was perfectly fine.
After measuring their eyes, they went to the store’s display of frames to try out some glasses. She picked round, metal-rimmed glasses to put on, which is the exact same shape as the one she wore before.
“I thought you're trying new frames."
“Well, it's technically still ‘new’."
“Tch. I mean a different model."
Hange giggled.
“I just remembered why I picked these glasses back then. I liked it because it looks similar to the one Professor Yeager wore!"
Professor Yeager was a famous zoologist that had appeared on Hange's favorite television program ever since they were a kid. One of Hange's old crushes. Levi always thought he kind of looked like an ape.
“Damn, I used to really like him, didn't I? Even picked similar glasses as he wore."
She put on another pair of glasses. It was black, thick, and had a rectangular-shaped rim. She looked at herself in the mirror, then turned to Levi.
“Now this one looks like the one Mr. Peaure wore. Hey, Levi, what do you think?"
Mr. Peaure? Their history teacher? No.
"You look like a nerd Spongebob.”
Hange burst out laughing, and Levi felt oddly proud of himself.
She turned to the mirror. "Oh, you're right!"
The glasses she wore were put back in their place. “I mean, being called a nerd is nothing new, but nerdy Spongebob sounds so silly. I wanna look more professional."
She tried another pair of glasses. It was rimless, oval-shaped lenses.
"Whoa this one feels really light!” Hange sputtered.
"It's too plain for my taste, but it's comfy. What do you think, Levi?” Hange beamed.
Plain? The model did look plain. But it's perfect for her sharp features. Especially her striking eyes. It made them look more prominent.
In fact, she looked really "...cute.”
"Huh?” Hange blinked.
Levi cursed himself. Damn him and his short-circuited brain. Why the hell would ‘that’ particular word slip off his mouth? He was sure he never even said that word out loud in his entire life.
He couldn't do anything but to open his mouth and say nothing. Heart hammering loud inside his chest.
"Uh…thanks." Hange's smile crooked. Face flushed.
She turned away and looked at herself in the mirror, angled her face to see different views of her.
“Guess I'll pick this one.”
"Pick anything you like. Just don't feel pressured.”
"No, I like this. I mean, like I said, I was looking for something professional. I think this one looks like one. And, oh! it also happens to be very light and comfy! You know, I’ve grown up to not pick something based on what somebody I like liked to wear—”
Hange was rambling. After her loss of words, she went to ask the store staff to get her picked glasses with her prescription.
Levi was surprised. Not only at his foolish, idiotic act, but also at the way Hange reacted to that.
She didn't make fun of it. She looked…nervous.
The way her face contorted. The flush on her cheek.
The way she rambled to justify her choice.
That looked…refreshing.
He wanted to see more of that.
“They said my glasses will be done and available to be picked up in three days. Guess I need to sit in the front row for the next three days in class.”
“And um…please guide me on our way home.”
Hange scratched her nape. Eyes glanced sideways.
She looked shy.
Too adorable.
Levi felt like he had won something.
“Okay, Let's go then.”
He caught Hange's hand. Completely disregarded Hange's suggestion that she could simply tug on his shirt.
Nevertheless, their grip was firm.
Levi never thought being relied on by Hange would feel like something other than bothersome.
Hange often lost her stationery. Sometimes forgot to bring cash so Levi would have to lent her his. Not that he hated that. He just wished she would be able to take care of herself more.
Now he would hope that if she had to rely on someone, that particular someone had to be him.
They both didn't go straight home after visiting the glasses store, as Hange was the easiest person to get distracted by anything that caught her interest. Levi no longer guided her. She was now dragging him into places she wanted to go. They ended up going into a bookstore, tea and sweets shop, and a video store.
Two hours had passed since they arrived at the shopping mall. Hange rented some DVDs of movies they planned to watch together. Levi bought some teas and sweets for them to snack on later.
They watched a horror-comedy movie after arriving at Levi's house. Levi didn't really pay attention to the movie, as he was a bit distracted by her mere contact. The way their shoulders touched. The way Hange hit him as she laughed or flinched at the movie scene.
He couldn't stop thinking about his day today with Hange. Before he slept, he thought about how in the three following days, he might have to assist her as she didn't have any glasses. Even some embarrassing scenarios that might happen. Holding her hand. Pulling her from a reckless, passing biker. Catching her when she stumbles over something.
How he wished he could always be there for her, wherever she went.