Work Text:
Jiwoo lets out a muffled whine as she feels her back hit the soft bed beneath her.
She pulls away from Dahyun. The other girl’s uncovered eye was wide, almost crazed, as it fixated on her lips. Jiwoo gently cups her cheek before giving a few light pats, trying to bring some sense back into her.
“Dahyun-ah.”
Her eyes flicker up, and Jiwoo tries ignoring the feeling she gets as their gazes meet, but any attempt at that immediately ceases as Dahyun melts into the touch and nuzzles against her hand.
The smile on Jiwoo’s face grows as she raises her hand to Dahyun’s hair, digging into the strands before lightly massaging. Just barely, she swears she hears a quiet purring from her as well.
Jiwoo wants to laugh. She really is like a cat.
Dahyun had been tense the whole day. It was easy for Jiwoo to tell, though it wasn’t like she was doing much hiding in the first place. The girl is like an open book—rarely ever held back when it came to her emotions, letting it bleed through more often than most idols would consider professional, but if anything, Jiwoo loved that about Dahyun.
In the moments where Jiwoo needed to be a leader, Dahyun was easy to approach. It wasn’t a hassle asking her what was wrong, and resolving things with her was even easier, but if Jiwoo were to shamefully admit, she also just liked seeing Dahyun sulk so easily.
She eased up a little during the fansign, probably because of all the fans around them and just being on the clock, but the second they were on their way back to the hotel, it was like she reverted to how she was before the fansign.
The cherry on top of all this was definitely the live they ended up doing. It was a last-minute schedule, and most of the girls were fine with it, but having to deal with everything from the day—airport and fansign—it was just a bit much. Especially for Dahyun.
Thankfully, it didn’t last long. Just a good thirty minutes of talking to the fans, reading comments, recounting fun dorm stories and other behind-the-scene episodes. Jiwoo was pretty tapped out, mostly focused on reading the comments, but at some point, she felt Dahyun move from her spot on the table down to Jiwoo’s level, linking arms with her.
Her heart nearly stopped. While it wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to be affectionate—in fact, they were always linking arms at the airport in front of all the reporters and fans—Jiwoo was able to sense an underlying neediness from the other girl.
Dahyun had even rested her head on Jiwoo’s shoulder, snuggling closer. It took everything in Jiwoo to stay composed, not even sparing a single glance at Dahyun, even as she shook against her, waiting for Jiwoo to look away from the screen.
(Though, to not make Dahyun sulk as much later, she tilts her phone just the slightest bit for her. Only to remember: wait, wasn’t she just on her own phone?)
“Jiwoo,” Dahyun mutters as she leans a bit more into Jiwoo’s hand, wanting her attention. Jiwoo’s thumb just barely grazes the eye patch, but the material itself is enough to make her flinch her hand away.
“Hey, careful with your eye,” Jiwoo playfully scolds, lowering her hand so that she was still holding her cheek. Dahyun doesn’t seem to acknowledge it, only diving back in to kiss her again.
Jiwoo’s other arm tightens around Dahyun’s waist, pulling her closer. She could feel the other girl moving faster now, pushing against Jiwoo with a newfound desperation. A faint noise from Jiwoo is muffled by the kiss; her hand drops from Dahyun’s cheek before completely wrapping both arms around her waist.
They follow a rhythm, pulling and pressing, moving their bodies, all at the same tempo. Jiwoo could feel her entire body heating up, the air around her growing warmer. Her hands find Dahyun’s shirt, gripping the fabric with each swell in her chest. But just as the feeling fades, another wave comes crashing right back through her body.
Neither of them knew when—or how—exactly this arrangement started. Naturally, with time, they grew closer. Of course, they’ve been somewhat close since their trainee days—with Jiwoo always offering help to Dahyun, mostly for Korean or dance—and something between then and now made Jiwoo gravitate even more towards her.
As for this—well, Dahyun initiated.
Jiwoo wasn’t against it. Everyone was affectionate, some more than others, but clearly platonic. With Dahyun? It grew beyond that.
They kept it going, with Jiwoo even taking the lead at times. Typical stuff like linking arms eventually turned into resting on each other’s shoulders, which turned into sleeping in each other’s beds.
And now, to making out like this in an all-too-expensive hotel in Shanghai.
Neither of them stopped it—and for whatever that means, Jiwoo doesn’t know, but the rational part of her loathes herself for indulging. She should know better.
It wasn’t smart to have something like this go on for as long as it already has, especially as rookies, as members of the same group, as girls who didn’t even know their true feelings towards one another.
(Jiwoo was more sure about her preferences, but Dahyun, on the other hand, hasn’t spoken a word of it.)
But it was too late. They were too wrapped in it now, and neither one has shown any sign of stopping. Jiwoo hates to admit it, but getting to hold Dahyun like this, to lie beneath her as they cuddled in the dorms, to mess with both Carmen and Yuna when they shot them suspicious looks, to kiss her like it mattered—whatever convoluted label this could be called—was too addicting for her to give up.
(Maybe it was the same for Dahyun. A part of her hoped so, but maybe it being mutual was even more wrong than if it wasn’t.)
The mere thought of that sent a painful stab through Jiwoo’s chest. She immediately begins slowing down their kiss, ignoring Dahyun’s incessant lips trying to chase after her, trying to pick up the pace again. Jiwoo eventually pulls away, unable to meet her gaze.
She could sense the confusion from Dahyun as she called out her name. “Jiwoo?”
Again, without the honorifics. Dahyun’s lucky Jiwoo doesn’t care. Maybe even welcomes it.
She doesn’t say anything, only trying to quietly catch her breath. If she was smart about this, she could play it off as needing a break, a second to breathe.
Jiwoo focuses her gaze on one of the desk lamps. It was a decent enough distraction from the problem that was currently hovering above her, with bruised lips and a sweetness she couldn’t get enough of.
(Jiwoo passively thinks about how lucky it is that they have to wear masks to the airport anyway.)
She glances over to Dahyun for a moment, instantly locking gazes. Another pang of dread shoots straight through her chest, and she looks away again, muttering out an excuse.
“Sorry, just… needed a second there,” she tells her before taking another peek.
There was a bit of hurt on Dahyun’s face. Her gaze flickers between Jiwoo’s like she is trying to decipher something. Jiwoo feels herself running a little cold—whether it was from the nerves of potentially being found out or just from the abrupt halt of their activities, she doesn’t know and is not willing to find out, but to try warming up, she wordlessly moves her arms to Dahyun’s shoulders, pulling her back down.
She slots her head into the space between Dahyun’s neck and shoulder, feeling the soft skin against her face before letting out a breath.
She could feel Dahyun freeze for a moment, almost like she wasn’t sure what to do, but Jiwoo notices her following after. Dahyun eases into the touch before turning her head, letting the light puffs of air hit Jiwoo’s neck in return.
“You’re lucky I’m a little tired anyway.” Dahyun ends up saying, her voice already sounding a bit gravelly.
Jiwoo wanted to laugh, feeling a bit lighter from the silly confession. She lightly pats Dahyun’s back, keeping her voice quiet. “Then go back to your room.”
A whine comes out of her. “But it’s so warm here.”
She emphasizes the fact by snuggling deeper into Jiwoo’s neck, making herself comfortable. Jiwoo shakily sighs, but doesn’t say anything, only pulling Dahyun closer. Because really, it was comfortable.
The two of them stay like that, not saying a single word. Jiwoo slowly strokes her back, feeling Dahyun’s breathing even out. She isn’t asleep, that’s for sure, especially with her shuffling around, trying to untangle her arm from whatever position they got their limbs into. Jiwoo then feels a hand slowly reach up, resting on the other side of her neck. Dahyun’s touch was warm, slowly stroking her.
Jiwoo could almost cry.
It was like all the weight and burdens of the day were slowly washing away. With every light graze of Dahyun’s fingers, Jiwoo’s body relaxes even more.
“Jiwoo.”
She shivers at the feeling of lips brushing against her neck, but doesn’t pay it any mind, only focusing on how tired Dahyun sounds. She takes a small breath before patting her back again.
“Hm?”
There’s nothing for a second. A single, quick thought crosses Jiwoo’s mind. Maybe she’s already asle—
“I missed you.”
She freezes.
Not asleep.
Dahyun’s hand travels back further, softly rubbing the area just below her ear. The touch heats Jiwoo’s body up, makes her lean into it.
“Jiwoo.” Again.
“…Hm?”
There’s no pause this time.
“Did you miss me too?”
Ah.
Jiwoo could feel herself about to blurt out some joke about how they were just together, not even thirty minutes ago, how they were already cuddled up in bed, literally making out, but that wasn’t the point. And Jiwoo knew that too.
She doesn’t say anything, only silently running her hand up and down Dahyun’s back.
She could feel the girl’s anticipation, waiting for Jiwoo to say something, but of course, nothing.
Evil. Evil, evil.
The eye patch grazing against her skin makes Jiwoo pull away just slightly, distracting her from her thoughts. She slows down her hand and looks down at Dahyun.
“How’s your eye?” she asks, inevitably changing the subject.
A moment of silence passes, and Jiwoo begins wondering if she should’ve actually said something instead of leaving her hanging.
(But her own self-preservation was important too, right?)
Dahyun moves around a bit before mumbling a response, her voice muffled from Jiwoo’s shirt.
“It’s fine.” She peeks up to look at Jiwoo. “Eye drop’s working.”
A small nod of relief. Jiwoo then carefully lifts the other girl’s head, adjusting their positions so that she isn’t putting any unnecessary pressure on the eye. That immediately gets Dahyun to sit up a bit, frowning at Jiwoo.
“What are you doing?”
Jiwoo blinks a bit, taken aback by the sudden change in energy—and admittedly, by how cute she looked—before vaguely motioning towards the eye patch. “Your eye. Be careful with it.”
“It’ll be fine.” Dahyun’s expression doesn’t change. “It doesn’t even hurt.”
“Better to be safe than sorry,” Jiwoo tells her, rubbing her arm.
Sulking. “Whatever you say.”
Dahyun then fully sits up, and everything becomes cold around Jiwoo. She even almost reaches out to pull Dahyun back down, but she only stops and stares.
“Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?” she suddenly asks, looking down at Jiwoo, and the expression on her face left Jiwoo wondering if it was from annoyance or something else.
“Are you serious?”
Dahyun pouts, slouching a bit as she crosses her arms over her chest, “Well, yeah.” She looked a little… yeah, definitely annoyed. “Why’re you surprised?”
Jiwoo sputters a bit. “Uh, I mean. We all have our own rooms so…”
Dahyun nods slowly, like she was trying to understand her response. “That is true, but…” She looks straight into Jiwoo’s eyes. “Is it a problem?”
She frantically shakes her head. “Not that it’s a problem, but…”
“So can I or no?” Dahyun asks again.
To be honest, Jiwoo did kind of want the company, but at the same time, they really shouldn’t. Who knows what’ll end up happening. Even ignoring all the strange… whatever between them, they still had to get up early tomorrow.
Jiwoo sighs and looks around. “Well, if you think you can make it back to your room and get ready before we leave for the airport again, then be my guest.”
“I already washed up,” Dahyun responds, sounding a little too proud of herself.
That gets her a laugh. “You’ll have to wash up tomorrow morning.”
Dahyun pretends to scowl. “Then what if I just brought my stuff here?”
So persistent. It honestly amused Jiwoo, but she doesn't ponder further. She ends up looking around the room. Technically, there was space—she likes to think of herself as pretty organized—but with the amount of stuff Dahyun usually brought, it was hard to tell if they’d be just as organized as now.
Jiwoo looks back at Dahyun. “Do whatever your heart desires.”
She pretends to think for a moment, but definitely not longer than three seconds. “I think I’ll just stay here,” Dahyun concludes, leaning back down onto Jiwoo.
The older girl lets out a little “oof” at the pressure, but wraps her arms around Dahyun anyway. “Seriously? You’re not gonna get anything?”
Dahyun lifts her head again. “What, are you telling me to leave?”
That gets her an eye roll. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Dahyun leans back down, resting on Jiwoo’s shoulder. “I’m quite comfortable where I am right now.”
“Well, good luck trying to get ready tomorrow,” Jiwoo lightly pats her hair.
Now, she gets an eyeroll. “Well, as our leader, aren’t you the one who’s supposed to help your members?”
She doesn’t miss a beat. “And how exactly do you want me to help you?”
Jiwoo expects another witty response; that’s how their little back and forth always went, but when she notices the stunned look on Dahyun’s face, she pauses.
Before Jiwoo could ask, Dahyun huffs out an almost irked sigh and drops back down to Jiwoo’s neck, roughly moving her body around in a manner completely disregarding Jiwoo’s comfort, before finally settling down.
“You’re mean.” Jiwoo barely hears her say.
Well, that’s blunt. She cracks a small smile, but doesn’t say anything, too scared of irritating the girl further. Seriously, did she say something wrong?
When Dahyun doesn’t say anything else, she almost believes that she’s finally asleep. That is, until she feels soft kisses on the side of her neck.
Oh, this is new.
Jiwoo tenses up again, feeling a rush of heat spread through her entire body. Her and Dahyun have never kissed anywhere besides the face, but the feeling of lips—Dahyun’s, to be specific—against her neck made her feel something beyond what she has already felt before.
A trail of light kisses follows up Jiwoo’s neck. She fights the sounds threatening to come out her mouth, curling her hands into fists and gripping Dahyun’s shirt yet again.
But it ends just as quickly as it started. Dahyun stops, dipping her face back down into the crook of Jiwoo’s neck, acting as if nothing happened. Jiwoo catches her breath, each shaky exhale bringing her down from the sudden high. A part of her is tempted to speak out, yearning for the feeling again, but neither of them says anything, only lying in silence.
Jiwoo felt stuck, the words she wanted to say, the questions she wanted to ask, all stuck in her throat. No matter how clear her head was, she couldn’t utter a single word. And she wasn’t sure if she was glad about it or not.
(Dahyun… Just what was on her mind?)
Trying her utmost best to ignore the girl entangled with her, she lets her mind wander. Outside lived the busy city of Shanghai, with people still wandering around, cars still going, sirens blaring—though, at a distance.
Jiwoo could fleetingly imagine the two of them on a vacation together, far from all the schedules and cameras. She thinks about how nice it would be, just the two of them, maybe as whatever they were now, or more, or even just friends (would it develop to this?).
She thinks about all the sappy things to do, like taking pictures of each other, going on nice walks in scenic areas. Dahyun would love it. Jiwoo could imagine all the complaints she would get, and all the bossy orders from Dahyun to snap a picture of her with the scenery. And Jiwoo knows she wouldn’t say no.
(Well, that’s kinda already reality, if Jiwoo really thought about it.)
She looks down at the girl hugging her. Dahyun still hasn’t said anything, but the leveled breaths and the light rise and fall of her chest leads Jiwoo to believe that she had actually fallen asleep this time. She wants to (playfully) scold the other girl for not wishing her a goodnight, but she could give her a pass this one time. Jiwoo raises her hand to Dahyun’s hair, softly ruffling it.
“Goodnight, Dahyun,” Jiwoo whispers. There isn’t a response—of course there isn’t—and Jiwoo doesn’t bother waiting for one, but she stops herself once more.
“I missed you too.”
The words she wished to say earlier came barreling out, a bit too late, but spoken nonetheless, even to deaf ears. She hopes somehow Dahyun hears her, or maybe can feel it, however that works.
The moment her eyes close, she’s hit with a wave of fatigue. Her body relaxes, countless visions of the incoming dream flashing in her mind. She briefly wonders if the quiet whispers or the faint pressure of hands gripping her shoulders were real or not. But her consciousness succumbs to sleep far too quick to find the answers.
(All of this, Jiwoo has come to learn, was just what she deserved—or better put, was just enough.)