Chapter Text
Jeremy sighed. He knew it was for the good of the campus but he just wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t a freshman and this wasn’t orientation so it hadn’t made sense why upperclassmen were being forced to join in. In some fucked up way, he’d hoped his overwhelming concern about Jean attending the mandatory meeting would outweigh his own thoughts. Problems. Realities. But it didn’t.
Jeremy was thankful for approximately five things: that the microphone system wasn’t working, how Coach Rhemann had given Jean the task of moving weights from one side of the massive gym to the other while the meeting droned on, Jean agreeing to such an inane task, how the speaker either turned a blind eye or genuinely hadn’t cared, ultimately marking Jean as an attendee and leaving it at that, and finally the relief Jeremy felt to see Jean hadn’t crammed deep into his shell once they’d gone home.
Jealousy that no one had gone out of their way for him simmered under his skin. Envy and panic were lingering tendrils that haunted him whenever mental trip wires were struck. Leaning into it felt warm and familiar but the vines always wound themselves around his neck until they took total control. He knew he couldn’t give into the familiar feeling that fueled him back in his freshman year. There was far too much to lose now.
~
His performance began to slack. He’d force himself to reorient and remain locked in on the game but his eyes would begin to lose focus and chest tighten. His ribs would contract yet his mind played games that those were arms stretching across his chest. That the tension building in his legs wasn’t from his squatted Exy stance, but from pushing against hands attempting to widen the gap.
Home, school, Exy, friends, the future, and now what had once been a carefully packed away past--the moment halftime was called, Jeremy collapsed to his knees. “Awe c’mon man. We’re only one point behind. It’s not the end of the world!” The words registered as sound but the sound couldn’t be placed to a person. He began gasping softly for air, shoulders and chest expanding and shrinking. More words. More sounds. “Hey, Jeremy…” His fingers dug into the insides of his gloves, nails tearing at the fabric. Sweat drenched his helmet matted hair. The way his uniform began to cling felt suffocating. “Uhh…COACH?”
“I’m gonna throw up.” He breathed out, clutching his stomach as his shoulders heaved at record time.
“Circle up!” Coach called. The Trojans created a privacy wall as he and Nurse Davis kneeled next to Jeremy.
“Hey!”
“Watch out!”
“Excuse me!”
Jean pushed his way to the inside circle just as they were helping him stand up. The way Jeremy’s legs trembled, barely able to hold his own weight let alone the extra weight of Exy gear, how his breaths had turned into wounded discordant gasps, his weak attempts to pull away from the arms holding him--Jean knew the signs too well. There was no way Jeremy would make it across the gym. “This is ridiculous.” he muttered before bursting forth with a brash, “Excuse me.” His next step included a subtle bend downward and a strong scoop upward.
Jeremy against his chest, he sped walked off the court. That didn’t mean he hadn’t noticed how Jeremy gasped and tensed and continued to beat at his chest. That didn’t mean he hadn’t heard the soft whimpers as each push against Jean weakened. That didn’t mean he hadn’t felt an increase in weight as Jeremy suddenly went a little too limp. Thankful that it was a home game, Jean knew exactly where to run.