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it was a day like any other in the household of dave and karkat, dave was already awake and sipping his coffee whilst karkat still lay awake in their bedroom refusing to get up, but you can't fight the inevitable so karkat had no choice but to force himself up to get ready for the day.
"oh there you are man, I was wondering if you were even going to get up." Dave spoke sarcastically, earning him a dismissive groan from karkat who was begrudgingly making his way to the coffee machine that Dave was stood next to, leaning against the counter like he thought he was the most important motherfucker in the world. How did karkat even flush for him in the first place? Gog knows.
Karkat was about to start up the coffee machine but then suddenly he heard dave whistle, not like singing a song type of whistle, but a wolf whistle. Karkat just shrugged it off as Dave being an annoying piece of shit as usual and continued making his coffee, but it was becoming hard to focus as he could feel Dave's eyes on him and it was making him feel quite exposed and flustered.
"damn kar, I never noticed how much you've been packing in the back." Dave broke the awkward silence that had been growing between them and karkat could practically sense the smirk growing on Dave's face. "DAVE WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING FUNNY? WELL BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT." Karkat began yelling, becoming more incoherent as he blabbered on but the smirk on Dave's face never faltered. Instead his hand reached down to Karkats large, vulumptuous backside and gave it a hard squeeze.
Karkats face instantly twisted into many emotions at once, his brain still processing what happened whilst his face burned a bright red. "GET YOUR FILTHY HUMAN HANDS OFF OF ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? IS THIS NORMAL ON EARTH OR SOMETHING OR ARE YOU JUST A CREEP WHO LIKES GOING AROUND AND GROPING PEOPLE'S ASS CHEEKS?" Karkat screeched as he slapped Dave's hand away from his big, bouncy cheeks, the force making them jiggle slightly.
Dave put his hands up in mock-surrender "Woah chill out man, can't a man be curious about his boyfriends cheeks?" Dave retaliated, staying as cool as ever like this wasn't a big deal to him while Karkats face just got redder in embarrassment and anger "CHILL OUT? YOU'RE ASKING ME TO FUCKING CHILL OUT AFTER YOU JUST SQUEEZED MY ASS CHEEKS?" Karkat had taken a few steps closer to Dave, maybe to intimidate him but Dave just watched him as he shouted endless curses.
"Come on now Karkat, you didn't like it? not even a little bit?" Dave was full on smiling now like he had just won first place in a competition, it was like he had read a manual on how to successfully piss Karkat off, and it was definitely working because it just made him yell even louder this time. "YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER TRYING TO REASON WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING IT PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR THAT THIS IS ALL JUST ONE BIG JOKE TO YOU." By now Karkats coffee had finished brewing so he picked up the mug and walked off, and as he walked off Dave couldn't help but stare at those plump cheeks, damn they were big.
A couple of hours later once everything had calmed down, Dave and Karkat were cuddled up on the sofa watching a random movie that neither of them were really interested in, they were just mindlessly looking at the screen until Karkat decided to speak up. "You know what Dave, I actually liked it when you grabbed my ass cheeks." Karkat looked up at Dave, expecting him to laugh or say something stupid but instead he just smiled softly and said "You want me to do it again?"
and then they live happily ever after. the end.