Chapter Text
Ilya thought he knew true terror.
When he was twelve and found his mother’s lifeless body, pale and covered in vomit.
Again when his father shouted loud enough to rattle the china cabinet, his fists flying towards Ilya’s face in a blind rage.
Once more when he watched Shane hit the ice, unmoving and unresponsive. Ilya thought the scariest thing he had been through was watching Shane fade in front of his eyes, unknowing of how much Ilya truly cared for him.
Then he held Luka for the first time. Parenthood, he learned very quickly, was largely about learning to live in a constant state of fear.
The first time he was woken up by Luka crying.
The first time Dimitri was checked into the boards.
The first time he saw evidence of Nadia’s self-harm.
Those moments were nothing, nothing, compared to this.
~
Summer was the best time of year for the Hollander-Rozanov household. Dimitri was off for the season, able to spend more than just a few days between games with his family, able to properly rest.
Nadia was off of school, back from the bustling city of Montréal and home with Shane and Ilya. It was a relief for Shane’s anxiety, having at least one of his children under his roof every night.
Luka was rarely far, having just bought a house in Ottawa with his wife, Megan. The two visited Shane and Ilya frequently during the year, meeting for dinner or lunch at least once a week. Summer still came as a reprieve; Luka thrived in the outdoors. He was able to move his carpentry projects outside of his shop, fulfill any commission work for his clients, and see his siblings as they took breaks from their busy, chaotic lives to reconvene. Connect in ways they hadn’t since they were kids.
Shane and Ilya looked forward to the summer too. It marks a milestone of their relationship, an anniversary they have celebrated since 2018. With the creation of their hockey camp, they were kept plenty busy, especially with the introduction of their own kids into their lives. When the men retired from professional hockey, Shane and Ilya both privately worried they would end up bored or pent-up, but after Nadia’s birth, they could safely say they were satiated.
When Nadia moved away for university, they both took a step back from the charity, letting younger, capable hands take over. They still showed up for the beginning of the summer, welcoming kids to the camp and wishing them luck, but then they had the rest of the summer to themselves and their kids. Their youngest’s departure played a big role in that; Ilya and Shane both agreed that they wanted all the time they could get when all their little ones were home.
Time seemed a fleeting thing these days.
When July 2nd rolled around, everyone was safely in the cottage and enjoying their time spent as a family. Megan was off for a bachelorette trip, and would be joining them at the cottage by the end of the week. Ilya was looking forward to seeing her again. She got on well with both Dimitri and Nadia, and she fit perfectly into the family. Shane kept the photos from her and Luka’s wedding framed all around the house.
For now, the five were relaxing in the backyard. Luka, dressed in cargo shorts, hiking boots, and a linen button-up, was busy chopping wood after grumbling about Shane’s form. He was determined to get enough logs chopped for the rest of the summer. Shane didn’t fight him, handing over the axe and letting his eldest do his thing.
Ilya and Dimitri were in the lake, laughing loudly and wrestling around in the water. The three on shore weren’t entirely sure what game they were playing or who was winning, only that it seemed a pretty matched fight. Dimitri had the benefit of agility and youth, but Ilya had the advantage of wisdom and experience. The last time Shane looked over, Ilya had Dimitri in a headlock, roughly tussling his hair before Dimitri knocked him back in the water.
The Canadian, wearing loose shorts and a worn flannel, huffed in amusement from his lounge chair, glancing at the table to ensure there were clean towels. There always was, but it never hurt to check.
Nadia was lying on the grass on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. She had a book open in front of her, with a bottle of nail polish balanced precariously on the page. She wore a lavender sundress and a matching wide brim hat that was adorned with an organza flower. Shane insisted on protecting her curls from sun damage. The elder watched as his daughter read and painted her nails, pausing every couple of minutes to lift the bottle from the book, turn the page, then set it back down. He shook his head in amusement, opting not to point out how inefficient her method was. If it worked for her, it worked for him.
Anya, their beloved retriever, was sitting perpendicular to Nadia, her head resting on the young adult’s lower back as she napped. She was almost eleven years old, but still extremely healthy thanks to Ilya’s constant monitoring. While she might have at one point been happy to splash around the lake with Ilya and Dimitri, she seemed content to slow down in her old age. Shane felt similarly.
“Dimitri! You’re such an asshole!”
The peace was disrupted by Nadia’s shout and Anya’s subsequent barking, followed by Dimitri’s laugh. Shane fixed his sunglasses, looking over as he squinted at his children. Dimitri and Ilya had gotten out of the water, the former running up on Nadia to rile up the puppy. Anya, eager to play along, jumped from her spot against Nadia, jostling the student into smudging her nail polish.
Ilya shook his head fondly as he approached Shane, grabbing a towel from the table and drying his hair while Dimitri pet and jumped around with Anya, and Nadia scowling at him as she sat up and screwed the cap of her nail polish bottle back on. “Very relaxing, yes?”
Shane raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Weren’t you just wrestling our son in the lake?”
“Is different. He is big strong hockey player, like his Papa. I am keeping him primed.”
“Uh huh.”
Ilya grinned, sitting on Shane’s chair and lifting his legs into his lap. He brushed his thumb over the other’s ankle, smiling at Shane’s face. He turned his focus back to Nadia and Dimitri, pleased to see that Luka had joined them. The three of them were on the ground, playfully pushing and shoving each other while Anya jumped around them, barking happily.
Shane let his mind wander back to summers past, seeing the three adults in front of him as their child counterparts. Luka as a twelve year old, quiet, responsible, and strong. Dimitri at ten, rowdy and playful, soft where his siblings were concerned. And Nadia, age four, creative, bright and excited to be included. Shane watched the three play together, no less gentle as adults than they were as kids.
“I’m so happy they’re home,” Shane said after a long moment, turning his gaze to Ilya. Ilya met his expression with a sappy smile.
“Me too,” he murmured, raising Shane’s leg and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his foot before setting it back down in his lap.
The moment was interrupted by Dimitri approaching the couple, out of breath. Behind him, Luka had Nadia’s hat on his head, blocking her attempts to get it back. Dimitri grinned, grabbing a fresh towel. “You raised two monsters,” he said matter-of-factly.
Shane looked at him dryly. “Three is the number you’re looking for I think.”
Ilya laughed, scooching closer to Shane so Dimitri could sit on the end of the lounge chair, ignoring Shane’s protest.
“The chair isn’t meant to handle this much weight,” he argued, making no move to get up.
Ilya snorted. “The chair has handled much worse,” he replied, winking at Shane. Dimitri made a face.
“Ew!” He complained. Ilya laughed again.
“You do not know what that means!”
“Based on your tone, I don’t want to!” The twenty-six year old retorted, drying his hair. Shane rolled his eyes, ignoring the light blush on his cheeks. He looked up as Nadia and Luka made their way to the three hockey stars, Nadia’s hat on her head and Luka’s hiking boots in her hands. Shane had no idea how she managed that.
“I win,” she declared with a triumphant grin, dropping her brother’s boots on the patio and adjusting the hat that sat atop her disheveled blonde curls. Luka grumbled as he knelt down to put his shoes back on.
“Yeah yeah. This time.”
“And most others,” Dimitri chimed in from his spot on the chair. Shane laughed.
“Attagirl,” he teased, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. The afternoon sun was warm against his face. He made a mental note to put on more sunscreen in the next half hour. “I’m thinking about dinner. Any suggestions?”
Nadia knelt down by the chair, hugging Anya and petting her as she wagged her tail. “Burgers,” she said decisively.
Luka nodded, sitting next to Nadia and tilting his head back against Dimitri’s knee, huffing when his brother dug his foot into his side. “Burgers,” he agreed, wrestling Dimitri’s foot.
Dimitri grinned, relenting to Luka’s grip. “Burgers.”
Ilya laughed, taking Shane’s hand and kissing his knuckles. “You better go start up the grill, moya lyubov.”
Shane hummed, groaning dramatically as he pushed himself up. “I don’t think we have any burger buns. Someone will have to run to the store.”
Nadia, Dimitri, and Luka all spoke simultaneously.
“I will!”
Dimitri stood quickly, a strangled noise of surprise when he belatedly realized Luka was still holding his foot. He tumbled to the ground, barely catching himself as the eldest child laughed.
“Serves you right,” he retorted, grabbing Dimitri’s hand and helping him up. “We can all go.”
Nadia nodded, standing up and smoothing out her skirt. “We’re playing my CDs though.”
Dimitri grinned as he hopped to his feet, watching Anya make her way into the house. “Okay. I’m driving.”
Luka shook his head. “Nice try.”
Dimitri narrowed his eyes, huffing as he kicked the ground. He looked a lot less like the strong hockey player and more like the little boy he was all those years ago. Shane’s heart did something funny in his chest.
Ilya watched his children fondly, looking up at his husband with a grin. “Anything else you need the minions to get at the store?”
Nadia took off her hat, forcefully pushing it on Ilya’s head. “Watch it, old man,” she warned jokingly.
Luka laughed, grabbing Dimitri a shirt from one of the abandoned chairs and throwing it at him. It caught the hockey player off guard, hitting him in the face, a muffled ‘oof’ leaving him. Luka laughed again, walking towards Shane and standing next to him.
Ilya dug his fingers into Nadia’s side in protest, laughing as she squirmed and giggled involuntarily. He fixed the hat atop his head. “Keep that up, miss, see it where it gets you.”
“It’ll get me to the top of Dad’s favourites list,” she replied, slightly breathless from the laughter. Shane hummed, extending an arm to Nadia, his other wrapped around Luka’s shoulders. “It’s true,” he responded, kissing his daughter’s cheek as she got close to him.
Ilya gasped, standing and wrapping his arms around Dimitri tightly as the young man finished putting his shirt on. He laughed, pushing Ilya away playfully. “You’re gonna get me wet again!”
“Betrayed! By my own family! Who knew Hollander-Rozanov’s were such terrible people! Hey, everybody! Whole Hollander-Rozanov family are mean bullies!”
Shane rolled his eyes at Ilya’s antics while Nadia and Dimitri laughed.
“That includes you, Papa, you know that, right?” Luka asked with a snort, pulling away from Shane’s embrace to grab his keys and wallet from the outdoor table.
“Details,” Ilya dismissed, pressing a kiss to Dimitri’s temple. He walked over to his husband and daughter, pressing a kiss to his girl’s blonde curls. He placed his hand on Shane’s lower back, looking at Luka. “Drive safe, yes? I love you.”
Luka nodded, smiling at Ilya. Nadia stepped away to grab her shoes. “I love you too. We’ll be back soon.”
Dimitri nodded, slipping on Shane’s slides. He walked over to Nadia, playfully hitting her arm. “I call shotgun,” he said mischievously before breaking into a sprint towards the driveway.
Nadia gasped, immediately running after him. “Hey!”
Shane chuckled, shaking his head fondly and pulling their eldest into his side to press a kiss to his head. “See you soon,” he murmured, smoothing Luka’s hair back.
The almost twenty-eight year old nodded, smiling warmly at the kiss. He made his way to the driveway, waving to his parents before jogging towards his siblings. “Hey! Don’t yank on the handle, Megan will kill me—”
Ilya sighed happily, pressing a kiss to Shane’s temple. “Shall we get the grill started?”
Shane raised both eyebrows. “We?” He asked incredulously.
Ilya hummed, tilting his head in consideration. “Someone has to keep your backside warm while you cook, yes?”
Shane huffed a laugh, pushing Ilya away and making his way to the house. “You just want to feel me up, pervert.”
Ilya followed him. “Maybe. My husband is so handsome, I can’t help it.”
Shane walked into the house, turning to look at Ilya as he walked to the kitchen. “We’re gonna end up with another baby if you keep it up.”
Ilya closed the sliding screen door behind him, whistling lowly at the words. “Mmm. I’d like that. You want me to get you knocked up, sweetheart?”
Shane’s cheeks flushed as he grabbed the patties from the freezer. “Ilya,” he warned.
The Russian held his hands up in surrender, leaning against the counter with a smirk. “Boring, boring man.”
Shane returned his smile.
~
Twenty minutes later, Shane was standing in front of the barbecue, slightly flushed and disheveled. Ilya walked out from the house, onto the patio with Anya trailing behind him. He let out a pleased sigh, grabbing Shane’s waist from behind, his palms warm. He pressed up against his husband, smelling of pine and soap.
“Mmm, always love getting my hands on you before you cook. Is so sexy.”
Shane huffed, flipping a burger on the grill. “Fuck off.”
Ilya whistled. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Shane turned his head, pressing a kiss to Ilya’s jaw. “No, just my perverted husband.”
Anya yipped at their feet, causing both men to laugh, Ilya tucking his face against Shane’s neck. “I love you,” he whispered.
The Canadian relaxed back against the other man, closing the lid of the barbecue. “I love you too. So much.”
~
It had been almost an hour and thirty minutes since the kids left the cottage. Shane had finished grilling, slipping the burgers into the oven to warm. Ilya had finished preparing the toppings, the patio table ready to dine at.
Shane was leaning against the kitchen island when he glanced at the clock for the fourth time in two minutes. “They should be back by now, yes?”
Ilya looked up from where he was washing the cooking knives. He looked at the clock, giving a slight nod.
“Maybe. The drive-in ice cream place is on way to grocery store though. They might have stopped.”
Shane hummed, obviously unconvinced. He exhaled, a little too quickly to be casual. He blinked and Anya was at his feet, applying a soothing pressure to his legs. He swallowed, crouching down to pet her.
Ilya finished with the dishes, turning to his husband. His eyes softened as he saw Shane and Anya, carefully approaching the two. He knelt next to Shane, ignoring the cracking of his knees.
“Hey,” he whispered, placing a hand on the back of Shane’s neck and squeezing lightly. “I will call, da? They are probably nearby.”
Shane let out a slow breath, nodding a little. He scratched behind Anya’s ears, settling slowly.
Ilya nodded, assessing Shane before gently petting the back of his head, standing up. He grabbed his phone from the counter, opening his contacts. He clicked on Dimitri’s number, letting it ring.
Shane stood slowly from the ground, looking at Ilya warily. The Russian put his phone on speaker.
“Hey, it’s Dimitri, you know the drill.”
Shane turned around, gripping the counter at the sound of the voicemail. Ilya frowned, clicking to Nadia’s contact. He called her, putting it on speaker. The sound of Nadia’s ringtone sounded from the living room. Ilya hung up, letting out a breath. “She needs to stop forgetting that,” he muttered, mostly to himself. Shane’s breaths were sharp as he led himself through a breathing exercise.
Ilya found Luka’s number, pressing call. He held the phone to his ear, listening to it ring. It rang for a long moment until it went to voicemail. Ilya’s jaw flexed as he immediately called back. The phone rang and rang, and just before it went to voicemail, it was answered. Ilya’s shoulders slumped.
“Lukasha, dinner is ready—” Ilya was cut off by an unfamiliar voice.
“Sir? Is this Ilya Rozanov?” Ilya’s posture went rigid. Shane looked at his husband, eyes wide.
“Yes. Who is this?” He asked slowly, reaching a hand towards Shane and beckoning him closer. The slightly shorter man without hesitation, gripping Ilya’s arm.
“My name is Officer Paek, I’m calling from Queensway Carleton Hospital. Your children have been involved in a car accident.”